Your tidbit today, Denizens, comes courtesy of LC Silverandblue42.
Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans?
The answer can be found by posing the following scenario:
You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife/husband and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock .40 caliber, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Democrat’s Answer:
Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife/husband think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? (ED. NOTE:  Yes, I realize that this is a moot point, seeing as the Donk bed-wetter, in all likelihood, isn’t  packing – just work with me here, mkay?)
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days over lattés and try to come to a consensus.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Republican’s Answer:
BANG!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Southern Republican’s Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click…(sound of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Why, yessuh, I do b’lieve I’ll have me another Suth’n Comf’rt they-ah…
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6 responses to “Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans”
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An oldie, but a goodie!
Am I taking this the wrong way, or are you saying that we Yankees are damn good shots?
The Northern Republicans are…efficient.  One shot, one kill.
Whereas we Southern Republicans are…shall we say…enthusiastic.  Yeah, that’s the ticket. 😀
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHA
HAHAHAHHAHHAAHHAHHAAHAHHA
RWR
“The Court would be inclined to believe it was an accidental shooting, except the defendant reloaded.
Twice.”
What RWR said. Good one