Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 8:35
Denizens, have you ever heard of the concept of “attaboy/awshit”?
It goes like this: You can collect a thousand “attaboys”…but just one “awshit” wipes them all out and you have to start All…Over…Again.
For his victory over Oklahoma, Gary Patterson collected 999 “attaboys”. For his sorry-assed job of coaching Saturday night, he earned himself yet another “awshit”.
TCU 10, SMU 21
Oklahoma 31, Tulsa 15
LSU 35, Arizona State 31
Dallas 28, San Diego 24
JaMarcus Russell threw a 39-yard touchdown pass to Early Doucet on fourth down with 1:13 left to play to give fifth-ranked Louisiana State a thrilling 35-31 victory over No. 15 Arizona State in a classic non-conference showdown at Sun Devil Stadium. (Hat tip to the Sports Network – I didn’t see any of the game.)
Something’s seriously wrong with the Sooners. Down 15-7 deep into the third quarter, they ditched their passing game completely and force-fed Adrian Peterson the ball.
It obviously worked, as 24 points in the last quarter-and-a-half will attest – but the Sooners apparently do not have a quarterback. This does not bode well for Bob Stoopes, as OU travels to UCLA next week, nor does the schedule get any easier, with TU looming over the horizon.
That’s TU, as in just-beat-Ohio-State-at-the-Horseshoe TU. Uh-oh.
I saw something Sunday I honestly had not expected to see: A Cowboy team that played well more often than it played crappy.
There were still a couple of glitches on both sides of the ball – the offense committed five straight penalties during one seriea and botched a snap (leading to a turnover and SD’s first points) on another; the defense allowed an easy touchdown on a post pattern in the second quarter and Charger 3rd-down conversions were somewhere in the neighborhood of 60% – but the line protected Drew Bledsoe when it needed to and allowed Julius Jones more than a bit of room to run. And the defense came up 7′s on the Chargers’ last-minute drive for the winning TD, forcing three incompletions from inside the 10 and intercepting Drew Brees’ last-gasp fourth-down pass in the end zone. Anthony Henry justified his major-mondo signing bonus right there, I think.
Keyshawn Johnson had a pair of touchdowns, Jones one and Patrick Crayton was 6-for-89 with a touchdown. (What’d I Tell You about keeping an eye out for this guy? He’s gonna be a great one, mark my words.)
Bledsoe was 18 of 24 for 226 and 3 TDs, while Jones went 26 for 93.
On to that travesty in University Piss Saturday night. Seems that Gary Patterson is on his own personal “Shock the World” tour this year.
Last week, he shocked the world by beating a team previously considered good. This week, he shocked the world by losing to a team universally considered to be piss poor.
The Shitland Ponies were slogging along in first gear – three & out, three & out, three & out – until midway through the second quarter. The only reason they were in the game, in fact, was because TCU was sleepwalking through the first half themselves; a first-quarter field goal from failed-bit kicker Peter LoCoco staked the Froggies to a 3-0 lead – the only points the offense would score all night.
So on yet another three-and-out by Skip & Muffy U, they line up to punt – whereupon their punter promptly gets slammed into by our rush. (To be fair, we’d already blocked one of their kicks – but it stands to reason that they’d be a little more prepared to handle the rush next time, so why get greedy?)
Boom. Fifteen-yard penalty for roughing the punter. Five plays later, the Glue Factory Nags took a lead they would not relinquish, and the Toads wind up giving the Iron Skillet back to SMU.
Ess. Emm. Fucking. Ewe. A half-assed excuse-for-a-team to whom no self-respecting Division I-A college football program should ever drop a game.
Gary Patterson was real fond last week of saying, “duh, yeah, I beat Oklahoma with my players – no more Franchione recruits here”. Yeah, Patterson, you freakin’ moron – you got your ass kicked by Skip & Muffy Preppy U. Saturday night with your players, too.
I’ve been fooled for the last time about you. You’re in over your head – you may be a halfway-decent defensive coordinator, but so was Dave Campo – and he bombed as a head football coach, just like you’re doing now. I said last week that if you didn’t make short work of SMU, the victory over OU wouldn’t mean shit. And you didn’t, and it doesn’t.
From this point forward, I’m calling for whatever powers-that-be at TCU to fire your sorry ass posthaste, and to hire a bona fide head coach who can get this program turned back around before it regresses to the days of Billy Tohill and Jim Shofner – back to the days of 1-10 and 0-11.
The PFW will return on Thursday to chronicle TCU’s descent into 1-2.
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