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This edition of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153 begins with…baseball.

MERLIN:&#160 What?

KORRIOTH:&#160 Baseball???

K’HADIBAK’H:&#160 Who are you and what have you done with Lord Venomous?

Relax, guys.&#160 This isn’t so much about not being about football as it is a political mini-rant.

MERLIN:&#160 Oh.&#160 Well, that’s different.

The Tex-ass Strangers, having once again dashed the hopes of its faithful for another year, left Anaheim after delivering a whipping to their locals, 11-3.

But it was one of the after-notes in the article which got me going:

PETA is after Vizquel: Omar Vizquel’s desire to try bullfighting in Venezuela this winter has landed him on PETA’s hit list.

PETA announced Thursday that assistant director Dan Shannon has sent the Rangers’ utility infielder an urgent letter, pleading with him to give up his bullfighting plans and to “please leave animal abuse out of your midlife crisis.”

I beg your fucking pardon, Danielle?&#160 “Leave animal abuse out of your midlife crisis”?&#160 You’re awfully damned brave when no one can find you, aren’t you, Danielle?&#160 Perhaps you’d like to go say that to Mr. Vizquel’s face?&#160 I have a feeling Viz would take a rather dim view of your pussified bleating and be only so happy to go “midlife crisis” on your skanky, swishy ass.

“Participating in cruel and ludicrous activities overseas – activities that are illegal in the U.S. – won’t help Vizquel or the Rangers win over any fans here at home,” Shannon wrote.

I’m sure Vizquel doesn’t give two shits about what’s “illegal in the U.S.” with regards to this, pussy.&#160 But perhaps he could, instead of running swords through bulls in Spain, run those swords through some chickenshit, pansy-assed, sniveling oxygen-wasters posing as PETA directors.&#160 Now, I’d pay money to see that.

On to the PFW.&#160 If it’s Week 5, it must be O.D. Wyatt (Awwk, awwk!) for my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets.&#160 (And I say that because when I went to Heights, Wyatt’s cheerleaders always sounded like a Wendy Williams TV show audience – “Awwk, awwk!!!”.)&#160 Heights defeated the Chaparrals last year, 27-20, so we’ll hope for a second straight win on Saturday.

Turner Gill’s UBuffalo Bulls are at home against Central Michigan – the same Central Michigan that upset Michigan State a couple weeks back.&#160 The Bulls are 8&#189-point dogs in this one, and I tend to think it’ll be a fourth loss in a row for Turner’s boys.

The national marquee game Saturday features 8th-ranked Oklahoma going to Miami to play Randy Shannon’s 17th-ranked Hurricanes.&#160 Shannon has been steadily rebuilding the program down there, and it looks as if they’re primed for another Jimmy Johnson-type run.

What I like about their team – despite my not-so-secret disdain for the program in general – is their quarterback, Jacory Harris.&#160 When you watch him, you notice that, when he makes a big play, he doesn’t do a whole lot of chest-thumping and all of this gangsta-rap bullshit you see in so many players today, both college & pro.&#160 Harris just goes, “okay, next play, let’s go” – as if he realizes that it’s what he’s supposed&#160 to do as quarterback, so what’s the big deal?

OU’s a 7&#189-point road dog here, and I don’t think it’ll be that close.&#160 Bradford’s still out for the game, and all-universe tight end Jermaine Gresham is done for his college career (knee), and that can’t help but hurt.&#160 OU can not&#160 afford to get in a shootout with these guys, and I’m afraid that’s what it’s going to be.

Closer to home, we now explore the concept of the “trap game”, as I promised on Tuesday.&#160 Harken back with me if you will to 2005.&#160 Gary Patterson’s Froggies had just gone up to Norman and beaten the Sooners, had just earned (finally!) respect for the program, and were now in Dallas the next week to take on horrendously-lightly-regarded SMUT.

As you may remember, I felt pretty good about the game.&#160 And those of you who’ve been here for a while know how it turned out.

Well, good for Gary P. – he hasn’t forgotten, either.

The Horned Frogs (No. 10 in USA Today’s coaches’ poll), have been continuously reminded of their loss to SMU after an upset victory over Oklahoma in 2005. But no one needs to remind Patterson of the loss.

“Immediately, in the locker room,” said defensive tackle Cory Grant on how quickly the ’05 loss was brought up after Saturday’s 14-10 win at Clemson. “We knew it was going to happen.”

I positively hate playing teams in their second year under a new head coach, because they start to realize how good they might get.&#160 That the Shitland Ponies have played a couple games this year doesn’t help.&#160 Nevertheless, I like the Frogs to win this one, although it won’t be the 28-point shellacking Vegas thinks it’ll be.

Sunday finds the Dallas Cow-whatever they ares up in Denver to play the Broncos and their irritating fans, who have to celebrate every not-caught pass by the opposition by screaming “IN…COM…PLETE!!!!!!” at the top of their lungs.&#160 Here’s hoping for a squash and Romo going 25-for-25.

We’re back Monday with the recap.&#160 In the meantime, Bucky travels to Minne-ha-ha to play the Golden Gophers in their new stadium (at least, I think&#160 it’s new – it was outdoors) as a 2&#189-point road dog, so I ask HDD:&#160 Does going back outside mean that UMinne-ha-ha loses whatever home-dome advantage it used to have?

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One response to “PFW:&#160 How about the running of the PETAphiles?”

1. HDD says:

   October 2, 2009 at 4:18 pm

   Yes, the Rusty Rodents are playing in a new stadium. And, no, I don’t think they’ll lose any home field advantage. It gets COLD up there in the Twin Cities in winter. Outdoor Northern teams always have an advantage when playing at home late in the year. Teams from further south, and indoor teams, just aren’t ready for how cold it gets.

   I, for one, am actually sad to see the Rusty Rodents no longer playing in the Humptydome, mainly because the Badgers have turned the Humptydome into Camp Randall North the past decade or so. But, the Badgers have dominated the game for Paul Bunyan’s Axe now for almost 15 years, and hold the edge in the overall record for the Axe (Minnesota holds the edge in the overall series. Bucky just has the edge since the Axe was introduced.). But, at this point, I think Bucky could play the Rodents in the parking lot and beat them. THIS is a game the whole team gets up for. Bad coaching and suspect defense doesn’t mean a thing when the Axe is on the line. Whoever wants the Axe more, gets it. Bucky wins in a close one. In a perfect world, Bucky repeats the Miracle at the Metrodome in the Rodents’ new digs. (sorry, no audio for that clip. Owner didn’t get permission to use the radio broadcast)

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