Posted by Darth Venomous @ 15:16
[SCENE: Onboard Titanic, outside Transporter Room 1. The same crew that pulled this stunt off has congregated close to the doorway.]
KORRIOTH: Okay, we’re set on the plan, right? We’ll beam in, hide in a strategic location, and wait on His Rudeness’ return.
EMPEROR MISHA: Assuming he hasn’t already figured out the plan – surprising me & my brood last time was his idea, y’know.
KORRIOTH: Trust me – he’s too panicked about the TCU game to have even given it a second thought.
CLAUDIUS: I s-s-s-sure h-h-h-op-p-p-e s-s-s-s-o, Mr Korrioth sir.
KORRIOTH: Relax, Claudius. My people & yours are at peace.
CLAUDIUS: Oh, okay.
B.C.: Where’s my damned beer?
[Chief Engineer Merlin gestures, and the requisite case of beer appears before B.C.'s gaping eyes. B.C. shakes his head in wonder.]
B.C.: How the fuck d’ya do that?
MERLIN: Several decades of school, young’un. Plus a century or two of apprenticeship.
CALIGULA: Says the whippersnapper.
KORRIOTH: Awright, enough! We only have a few minutes to get down there before they come back with the pizza. Everyone have their hiding place scoped out?
OZY MCCOOL: In other words, find a pile of dust and hide behind it?
MERLIN: Mrs. Venomous would kill you for saying that.
OZY MCCOOL: I’m dead anyway, remember?
T-BONE MCMANX: He’s got you there, Commander.
KORRIOTH: SpatulaGoddess, you have the birthday cake?
THE SPATULAGODDESS: Angel-food pineapple upside-down cake with Splenda©, per your request, Captain.
KORRIOTH: Excellent, m’lady. Your service to the Realm is worthy of song. Oh, but no Tazmanian clean-up dervishes until later, if you would – Ozy’s right; we need those dust-bunnies for cover.
THE SPATULAGODDESS: (blush!)
[The group approches the transporter room door, and it parts silently & obediently...to reveal Lord Darth Venomous at the controls. There is a smug grin on his face, as if he knew all along this was coming.]
VENOMOUS: Going somewhere, boys?
[The group collectively gapes in wonder. Korrioth is the first to find his voice.]
MERLIN: How…how did you…you…?
VENOMOUS: It’s in the script. [He hands a stack of papers to Korrioth.] Right there on page three, see?
RAYEGUN: Dammit, I knew we shoulda used non-union!
Yes, Denizens. I’m 47 today. Feel free to tip one or eight (grin) in my honor.
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