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[SCENE:  Onboard Titanic, outside Transporter Room 1. The same crew that pulled this stunt off has congregated close to the doorway.]

KORRIOTH:  Okay, we’re set on the plan, right?  We’ll beam in, hide in a strategic location, and wait on His Rudeness’ return.

EMPEROR MISHA:  Assuming he hasn’t already figured out the plan – surprising me & my brood last time was  his idea, y’know.

KORRIOTH:  Trust me – he’s too panicked about the TCU game to have even given it a second thought.

CLAUDIUS:  I s-s-s-sure h-h-h-op-p-p-e s-s-s-s-o, Mr Korrioth sir.

KORRIOTH:  Relax, Claudius.  My people & yours are at peace.

CLAUDIUS:  Oh, okay.

B.C.:  Where’s my damned beer?

KORRIOTH:  Wizard…?

[Chief Engineer Merlin gestures, and the requisite case of beer appears before B.C.’s gaping eyes.  B.C. shakes his head in wonder.]

B.C.:  How the fuck d’ya do that?

MERLIN:  Several decades of school, young’un.  Plus a century or two of apprenticeship.

CALIGULA:  Says the whippersnapper.


KORRIOTH:  Awright, enough!  We only have a few minutes to get down there before they come back with the pizza.  Everyone have their hiding place scoped out?

OZY MCCOOL:  In other words, find a pile of dust and hide behind it?

MERLIN:  Mrs. Venomous would kill you for saying that.

OZY MCCOOL:  I’m dead anyway, remember?

T-BONE MCMANX:  He’s got you there, Commander.

MERLIN:  Mheh.

KORRIOTH:  SpatulaGoddess, you have the birthday cake?

THE SPATULAGODDESS:  Angel-food pineapple upside-down cake with Splenda©, per your request, Captain.

KORRIOTH:  Excellent, m’lady.  Your service to the Realm™ is worthy of song.  Oh, but no Tazmanian clean-up dervishes until later, if you would – Ozy’s right; we need those dust-bunnies for cover.


[The group approches the transporter room door, and it parts silently & obediently…to reveal Lord Darth Venomous at the controls.  There is a smug grin on his face, as if he knew all along this was coming.]

VENOMOUS:  Going somewhere, boys?

[The group collectively gapes in wonder.  Korrioth is the first to find his voice.]

MERLIN:  How…how did you…you…?

VENOMOUS:  It’s in the script.  [He hands a stack of papers to Korrioth.]  Right there on page three, see?

RAYEGUN:  Dammit, I knew  we shoulda used non-union!


Yes, Denizens.  I’m 47 today.  Feel free to tip one or eight (grin) in my honor.

1 Comment to “Memo to Korrioth:  Neener, neener. :-)”

  1. David Hartung — November 14, 2009 @ 5:29 pm

    Happy birthday old friend. I have one Beck’s left in the house, and was planning on having it with my supper. I will now tip that beverage in your honor!

    BTW, you do realize that you are still a kid, right? :)

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