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We start this episode of the Perfect Football Weekend in preparation for a WITY&#153.

If you’ll recall, after Widdle Terri Owens pulled his traditional schtick after the first Beefalo-New England game, I opined:

Anyway, Buffalo will learn, I’m guessing. The over/under is 3-9 before the light suddenly comes on.

Well, the Bills are now 3-6, and have just canned head coach Dick Jauron.&#160 Their next three games are:&#160 at Jacksonville; vs. Miami at home; vs. the Noo Yawk J-E-T-S-JetsJetsJets!!!, also at home.

In other words, three-and-nine is not&#160 out of the question.&#160 And, prior to being fired, Jauron had this to say about the latest Owens flare-up in the Tennessee game:

What didn’t seem to bug Jauron was Owens’ outburst early in the second quarter, when the receiver said he questioned Edwards’ read of the Titans’ defense prior to a snap on third-and-24. Owens was penalized on the play for illegal formation.

Jauron noted that there are numerous shouting matches on the sideline during every game, and suggested what happened was being “blown out of proportion” only because T.O. was involved.

“He doesn’t become a distraction,” Jauron said. “No, I wouldn’t say I wish he hadn’t done it.”

Owens, who had a season-best 85 yards receiving, didn’t speak to reporters on Monday, but explained following the game that he was attempting to get the offense on the same page. Receiver Josh Reed(notes), who was in on the discussion, agreed with Owens’ explanation of what happened.

“We were just telling them what we saw,” Reed said on Monday.

Owens also summed up the loss by noting: “What’s new? That is how it has been the last seven or eight weeks: We lost games in the third or fourth quarter.”

(UPDATE:&#160 Incidentally, after re-reading that, it looks as if I misunderstood – Jauron actually had no problem with the outburst.&#160 Who knows – may be one reason why he was fired.)

So.&#160 Bills losing, Owens not happy and causing controversy, head coach fired – What’d I Tell Ya&#153?

Let’s go to the PFW.&#160 Turner Gill’s defenseless UBuffalo Bulls are at Ben Roethelisberger’s alma mater, Miami of Ohio, tonight on ESPNU.

Vegas has UBeefalo by four on the road, but To Hell With That&#153.&#160 For the rest of the season, the SpatulaLine is officially back on – the Bulls have to stay within 14 points of the spread for it to count.&#160 Thus, as long as they don’t lose by 10 or more, it’ll count as a victory.&#160 And they’ll have the SpatulaLine on ’em until they get something resembling a defense.

My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets have had a wonderful season, winning their first playoff game since I was a student there, i.e. eons.&#160 That all likely comes to an end Friday, as the area-round game against Denton Ryan takes place in a little town about 15 miles north & west of here called Keller.&#160 Look for Ryan in a romp.

Saturday, Gary Patterson’s fourth-ranked Texas Christian Horned Frogs are in the rarefied air (literally) up in Wyoming to play the Cowboys.&#160 The Cowboys are up & down (they’re a .500 team), but they always seem to play well at home, and in fact beat TCU there two years ago.&#160 I like the Frogs here, but Wyoming isn’t going to lay down about it.&#160 Nevertheless, if the Froggies win this one, an undefeated regular season is all but assured, so look for Coach Gary to have the troops ready.

Also Saturday, Oklahoma goes and has its Halloween three weeks late, as they visit their personal house of horrors up in Lubbock against Texas Tech.&#160 Weird things have happened to the Sooners up there in the past, so be ready for anything.&#160 Literally.

Saturday evening, tied-for-25th-ranked (USA) Nebraska hosts Kansas State in Lincoln.&#160 Your guess as to if it’ll be the JekyllHuskers or the HydeHuskers – although HDD still prefers to call them the Children of the Corn&#153, which is scary enough right there.

Sunday at noon, the Dallas Cowgirls will welcome the Warshington Foreskins to the Death Star In Arlington&#153.

MERLIN:&#160 You mean…

VENOMOUS:&#160 Ahem.

MERLIN:&#160 Oh.&#160 Um, right.

Warshington actually won&#160 last week, and had to have watched tape on how Green Bay manhandled the ‘Girls.&#160 Look for more of the same, unfortunately.

Unless it results in Coach Stay-Puf getting fired…in which case, GO SKINS!!!

We’re back Monday with the recap.&#160 In the meantime, Bucky is a seven-point road favorite at N’western, so my question to the aforementioned HDD is:&#160 Only&#160 seven?

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One response to “PFW:&#160 WITY&#153, Part The 13,055th (UPDATED)”

1. HDD says:

   November 20, 2009 at 6:11 pm

   7 point favorite on the road against the Wildcats of Northwestern? What do the oddsmakers know that I don’t?

   Northwestern is a darn good football program now. They’re not Penn State, or, frankly, even Wisconsin, but, they’re a team that can make a lot of noise in the Big Ele…err..Ten, if some breaks fall their way. If you told me at the beginning of the year that the Badgers would be a 7 point favorite to the Wildcats at the end of the year, I’d have tested you for drugs. They’re not going to win the Big Ele…err…Ten outright any time soon, but, they’re always going to be an upset or two away from sharing the title with someone. That’s not bad for a team that actually, you know…suggests its players go to class and get educations. Nor is it bad for a school that has a total enrollment only barely larger than some of the graduating classes of the larger Big Ele…err…Ten teams, like Minnesota and Ohio State (the 1st and 2nd largest campuses in the US, respectively). So, for Bucky to be a 10 point neutral field favorite (home field shifts the line 3 points towards the home team) against Northwestern…the oddsmakers must know something I don’t. Like…maybe they have some respect for the Badgers coaching staff and defense? Nah…couldn’t be.

   For the record, Northwestern is my ‘backup’ Big Ele…err…Ten team, meaning I cheer them on when Bucky is out of the Big Ele…err…Ten or bowl picture. They were the whipping boys of the Big Ele…err…Ten for so long (losing a then-record 34 games in a row in the late 70s to early 80s), it’s nice to see them do well.

   This is also a great place for me to start my annual SEC rant. According to people who get fired if they get these things wrong, the best football in the US is played in the SEC, and, having watched some of their games this year, it’s hard to argue. BUT, if I hear one more SEC honk tell me that the SEC is, top to bottom, the best conference in college football, I’m going to rip their tonsils out through their rectum. Yes, some of the best teams in the US come out of the SEC, and sure, the top teams in the SEC could do at least as well in any other “Big Six” conference, if not better. BUT, no conference that includes Vanderbilt or South Carolina amongst their members can claim to be the best conference, top to bottom, since their bottom two teams would have hard times winning in the Sun Belt Conference, or even the Div III Ivy League some years. Sure, I like rooting for the Commodores of Vanderbilt, and it sure is fun watching cheerleaders hold up signs that says “Cocks” on them, but, neither of those two teams have EVER won an SEC championship, or championships of any sort. Over in the much-maligned (for mostly good cause) Big Ele…err..Ten, EVERY team has won a championship since 1967 (The Hosers of Indiana and the Rusty Rodents of Minnesota were co-champions that year, and that was also the last year either of them won), and 9 of the 11 teams of won Big Ele…err…Ten Championships in the past 20 years. If that isn’t a strong conference, top to BOTTOM, I don’t know what is. If SEC (and Dainty Dozen Big 12, for that matter) honks want to say they have some of the best teams in the nation, sure, I’ll agree. But, top to bottom?! Please. Get some good teams at the bottom, and then we’ll talk.

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