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(Or, Never Mind The Dog – Beware Of Owner! (grin))

Mrs. Venomous is…uh, shall we say…reticent  around the preferred method of defense in the Realm™.

RAYEGUN:  Y’mean, she’s afraid of guns?

VENOMOUS:  A severe character flaw, I know.

MRS. VENOMOUS (with skillet):  WHAT?!?!?!?!?!

MERLIN:  And you married her despite this?

MRS. VENOMOUS (with skillet): 

VENOMOUS:  Gentlemen, may I suggest you start running now?  I’ll finish the post whilst you save your asses.

MRS. VENOMOUS (with skillet):  Grrrrrrrr…

Anyway, the Department of Improvisation™ relates to us the story of this Florida couple who demonstrates to us that one doesn’t always need a firearm to defend oneself.

Things just didn’t pan out for whoever invaded 81-year-old Bobby Smith’s Jacksonville home Saturday afternoon.

In fact, you might say the robber got the point – literally – after the Korean War Navy veteran was through with him.

Smith and his caregiver used a pan full of fried potatoes and a pitchfork to drive the attacker away. A compact man with a close-trimmed gray haircut, Smith said he wasn’t scared.

“I was angry; I was upset; and I was as mad as all outdoors,” Smith said Wednesday. “If I’d had my gun, like I normally would have, I would have shot him because he was in my home. I don’t like people hurting my family or my home.”

Now there’s  Castle Doctrine™ for you.  Get the point?

ALL:  Ew.  Just, ew.

Now, if y’all will excuse me, I have a frying pan to actively avoid…



2 Comments to “Improvisational defense…of sorts”


  1. David Hartung — April 18, 2011 @ 5:26 am

    Given her apparent skill with the cast iron skillet, does Mrs. Venomous really *need* firearms? :)

  2. LC Purple Raider — April 19, 2011 @ 3:59 am

    Not all are on Mr. Smith’s side.

    “By grewupinjax | 04/16/11 – 02:20 pm Don’t believe everything you read.I know this man who is made to look like a hero in this article.He lives in this house because after marrying my elderly mother,he abused and neglected her until she ended up in a nursing home penniless and near death.She put a lot of money into this house over the years,and Bobby Smith robbed her of the house and her life savings. This is a mean and abusive person whom I have known to tell many,many lies,and I seriously doubt the credibility of his story.”

    He couldn’t be so dumb as to be the perp, would he?

    And please watch for incoming frying pans.



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