Awright, Denizens – time to crank it up for real.
The Perfect Football Weekend™ launches in grand style for what they call “Week 0” in Texas “hah skrewl” (a little Rush lingo, there) football parlance – basically Week 1.
No, don’t ask me why they do it that way.  I don’t know.
Anyway, if it’s “Week 0”, it must be Azle for my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets.  Heights opened last season with the Hornets, winning 24-21.  (And, they closed with them, as well, losing 8-19 – but we won’t talk about that, will we? (sigh))  Give me Heights and four.
The Cowboys are at home against the Minnehaha ViQueens as I write this, and the over/under is five lap dances.
Also tonight, the University of Buffalo Bulls are at home vs. Temple in Turner Gill’s coaching debut.  Vegas has Buffalo -6½, so we’ll see.
Saturday, Pat Sullivan and the University of Alabama at Birmingham become the sacrificial lamb at Norman as they take on the Oklahoma Sooners.  We trust that the Sooners won’t lay an Opening Day egg again this year.  I’ll take the Sooners; you can have 21.
Sunday, the TCU Horned Frogs set out to prove that last year wasn’t a fluke when they travel to Waco to play the Baylor Bears.  Baylor coach Guy Morriss (a TCU alum) has already fired the first shots, saying about TCU coach Gary Patterson:
“Walk past him, and the hair on the back of my neck stands up.”
“When he’s around, my skin crawls.”
“He likes to hear himself talk. And he talks a lot.”
Gee, Guy.  I mean, just because Patterson’s done something you’ve  never done…*cough*beatIowaStateandOU*cough*…
Still, Baylor’s at home, and Vegas has them as a touchdown favorite over the Frogs.  I’m hoping it might be closer, but:  1) TCU doesn’t play ex-SWC opponents well, and 2) the last time TCU won 11 games in a season, they followed up with a clunker at 5-6.
Needless to say, I’d not watch this one, dreading what I think’s gonna happen…except I have a ticket to the game, courtesy of the Sibling Unit™, so my happy ass will be down there with the rest of the Frog faithful.
We’re back Sunday evening (probably from a pizza place in Waco) for the recap.
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