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“I wonder how she does it…?”

Well, buttercup, I tend to think the LACK OF ADULT SUPERVISION – YOU KNOW, LIKE HER PARENTS??? – has a little bit to do with it.

I mean, if you go to the original spot in the series (which you can find here, and I’ll be ripping that one in a future installment), this all starts when Susie’s dad gives her his cellphone – HIS&#160 CELLPHONE, FOR CTHULU’S PATHETIC SAKE – because “it’s got a calculator”.

And then returns to find his snot-nosed daughter has apparently, in just the span of eight to ten hours, built an entire company from the ground up (complete with permits, state tax IDs, the whole nine yards, even an administrative assistant for little Susie), all through the auspices of Verizon’s supposedly-smarter-than-Einstein phone.

And that’s the last we see of anything resembling parentage in the entire ad campaign.

Nice of Verizon Wireless to come right out & tell us exactly what they think of the involvement of Mummy & Daddy in their snot-nose’s life.&#160 To whom exactly are you trying to sell&#160 your phone anyway, Verizon?&#160 Couldn’t&#160 be adults like me who just happen&#160 to have kids, could it?

If you’re wanting me to buy your phones, Verizon, you’re not making a very good case.


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One response to “Stupid TV commercials, cont’d.”

  1. Alan K. Henderson says:

    I don’t think Verizon is trying to say anything about real-life childhood. It’s presented as a fantasy, a juxtaposition of the adult workplace with what used to be a traditional kid business.

    On the other hand, Verizon made a PR blunder in the music selection: Bow Wow Wow’s “I Want Candy.” I suspect that the PR department folks just heard the lively tune and thought it sounded cool and didn’t bother to vet the song. Using a suggestive song in an ad is one thing. (I myself have imagined using “Stranglehold” in a tax reform ad, with Nuge himself delivering the reform pitch.) Using one in an ad featuring children is another. And then there’s that particular song’s unique baggage:

    [Malcolm] McLaren was approached by Adam Ant to manage Adam and the Ants, following their debut album release in late 1979. Shortly thereafter three members of the band left to form Bow Wow Wow, under McLaren’s management. McLaren continued to manage Ant as he found new band members for Adam and the Ants and worked on a new sound. McLaren was later to manage Jimmy The Hoover, formed in 1982, who gained a support slot on a Bow Wow Wow tour.

    Bow Wow Wow was originally created to promote clothing designed by Vivienne Westwood, and McLaren continued to exploit the band members, pressuring the underage lead singer to pose nude for the underage sex magazine he had created entitled Chicken, a reference to the magazine’s underage content.

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