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I have a losing week, and still get to declare a PFW.

Go figure.

Arlington Heights 38, Western Hills 35

TCU 14, at Oklahoma State 36

at #8 Oklahoma 13, #5 Notre Dame 30

at Nebraska 23, #22 Michigan 9

at #25 Wisconsin, Michigan State 16 (OT)

Liberty 12, at Coastal Carolina 36

at Dallas 24, NY Football Douchebags 29

I actually saw most of Cougar-Yellow Jacket.  And for most of the first two-plus quarters, Heights was kicking Hills’ ass.

Then, after a long Cougar TD drive, the Jackets get the ball back…and promptly fumble it.

About that time, Hills figured out it could run on AHHS’ defense.

Western Hills (2-6, 1-4) completed only one pass. But its ground game, led by bullish fullback Aaron Stevenson, amassed 388 yards and had 10 more first downs than the Yellow Jackets. Stevenson carried 35 times for 215 yards and four touchdowns.

They’d either beat Heights to the corner on a pitch, or fake that and gash the Jackets right up the middle.  One would’ve sworn it was LaDainian Tomlinson all over again vs. UTEP.

Only an Angel Gonzalez field goal with six minutes left saved Heights.  That, and the fact that Hills isn’t very good, either.

—

For Nebraska, the secret is simple:  Get to the other team’s starting QB.  Do that, and victory is assured.

It happened last year with Braxton Miller & Ohio State.  This year, Michigan signal-caller extraordinaire Denard Robinson injured an elbow and had to leave the game – after which, the Huskers rolled.  Robinson’s backup, Russell Bellomy, threw three interceptions as the Wolverines could only manage three field goals.

Taylor Martinez was 14-24-166 with a touchdown & a pick.  Running back Ameer Abdullah ran 24 times for 101 yards (Martinez added 58 on 14 carries).

—

Michigan State followed that formula against Bucky.  Once they got Joel Stave out of the game in the second half, the Badgers had no choice but to turn back to backup Danny O’Brien – who will never make anyone forget namesake Davey.

To give you an idea of how bad it was…Bucky rushed for a total of 19 yards.  No – that’s not a typo.  The team that ran over, around & through TCU two years ago in the Rose Bowl could only manage 19 rushing yards total against the Spartans.

One gets the impression that there are going to be wholesale changes in Madison in the off-season – starting with the offensive coaching staff, particularly the line.

—

When you’re getting beaten by a team called the Chanticleers, it’s bad.

Coastal Carolina’s LaDarius Hawthorne intercepted a pass and returned it 66 yards for a touchdown on Liberty’s first possession, and the Chanticleers put away the Flames with 21 second-half points in a 36-12 victory on Saturday.

Jeremy Height ran for 99 yards and touchdowns in the second and third quarters for Coastal Caroliina (4-4, 2-1 Big South). The Chanticleers outgained the Flames (3-5, 2-1) 226 yards to 86 on the ground.

Next stop for Turner Gill:  Running backs coach.  (sigh)

—

Honestly, I didn’t think Notre Dame was that fast.

Shows what I know.

On the other hand, Bob Stoops’ program has once again been exposed as an also-ran.  Can beat the weak-sisters-of-the-poor, can beat TU (but I repeat myself) – but put them up against a quality team, and they wilt.  Landry Jones pretty much cemented in everyone’s mind that he might make it in the NFL as a backup.

Might.

The way he played Saturday night (35-51-356-no touchdowns), he couldn’t have beaten out Stephen McGee for the Dallas Cowgirlz’ third-string.  And McGee got cut.

And then, he had the gall to show a little arrogance after the game.

“We’re better than we were at the start of the season,” Jones said. “We hit a bump in the road. Maybe the national championship’s not in the picture, that’s probably gone, but we still have the Big 12 and a bowl game up in front of us.”

Landry, m’boy?  Perhaps you might google “Kinsler, Ian”.

—

El Choko was, once again, El Choko.

Four picks.  One a pick-six.

Toss in a fumble by Felix “Bust” Jones, and an apparent touchdown catch by Dez Bryant where he just had  to brace his fall with his right hand – right on the cusp of the end boundary – and it’s yet another loss to the Douchebags, who’ve never lost at Owner Jethro’s Mausoleum.

(Oh, and don’t even  get me started on “Big Clusterfuck” Bryant.  Runs the wrong route on El Choko’s first pick, muffs a punt that he tried to catch over his shoulder, then fumbles it when he does  get control of it…this asshole’s my sixth receiver on a five-receiver depth chart.  I’m serious – I cut the motherfucker tomorrow.  He hurts my team more then he helps it.  I can find kids off the street who’ll make the same fuckups for a lot less than Bryant will.  And they  won’t be half as arrogant.)

And afterwards, there’s Owner Jethro once again, sniveling about how “disappointed” he was that his Folly™ “din’ win da bawwwwl gayyyme”.

Fucking asshat.  How about you get, y’know, actually pissed  about it and start making some heads roll, eh, you effin’ Arkans-ass moron?

Worthless piece of shit.

And then there’s Jason “Red-Headed Jesus” Garrett, pissing & moaning about how they “need to get better”.

For about the 20th week in a row.

Same stump speech.  Same bat-time.  Same bat-channel.  Stop me if you’ve heard it before.  ‘Cause I know I  have.

He sounds boring.  The Cowgirlz play  boring.  I’m about to the point where I wanna throw them out of the PFW, ’cause I can’t stand to watch them.

Fuck’m.  Just fuck’m.

—

As much as it pains me to say this…I think TCU’s already won all the games it’s going to this year.  And though that means no bowl for the Frogs, I just don’t see how they’re going to scratch out one more win with a lineup of freshmen & sophomores against the teeth of a Big XII schedule.

They started off great against Okie State – then just collapsed.  Score the first 14, give up the last 36.  And Okie State’s not really that good, and  they were going with a starting quarterback that hadn’t played in six weeks, and still  did that to the Frogs.

Just get ‘em ready for next season, Gary Patterson, and don’t worry about this one.  You didn’t ask for half your team to go choom themselves off the roster.

—

As bad as all that was, it’s still a Perfect Football Weekend™, just for this one result:

at Penn State 23, Ohio State 35

Thank you, Urban Meyer.

Braxton Miller does stuff you can’t teach, and No. 9 Ohio State is riding its Heisman Trophy contender to a memorable season — despite the limitations.

Miller ran for 134 yards and accounted for three touchdowns a week after getting knocked out of a game, leading the Buckeyes to a 35-23 victory against Penn State on Saturday.

Ryan Shazier returned an interception 17 yards for a score early in the third quarter that gave the Buckeyes (9-0, 5-0 Big Ten) the lead for good, and the Nittany Lions (5-3, 3-1) and coach Bill O’Brien had their five-game winning streak snapped in a matchup of the Big Ten’s bowl-banned perennial powers.

This week:  3-5.  Perfect Football Weekend achieved (executive fiat) (3).  Overall:  35-21.

The PFW returns for a special Saturday edition.  Primarily ’cause Heights loses Saturday this coming week, instead of Friday.  See you then.

3 Comments to “PFW:  Year of the Executive Fiat™”

1. David Hartung — October 30, 2012 @ 11:08 pm
   

   While we are on the subject of football, Mississippi State played a fairly decent game against Alabama, they only made a few mistakes. The problem is that one absolutely cannot make any mistakes at all against Alabama, and hope to make a good showing.

   Alabama: 38, Mississippi State, 7

2. Alan K. Henderson — October 31, 2012 @ 4:28 am
   

   Will the Cowboys make it to the Superbowl before an actual peacemaker wins the Nobel Peace Prize?

3. LC Purple Raider — November 2, 2012 @ 9:20 am
   

   Cowboys need to blow that team up.

   Romo isn’t that good, hell, he isn’t that average.

   It is a painful team to watch.

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