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Well, Denizens, now that the Texass stRangers are well on their way to Oblivion&#153 (six games out of first as of this writing, and falling), it’s finally time to turn our attention to the Official Sport&#153 of the Realm&#153…

MERLIN:&#160 Running libdouches through with bayonets?

OZY McCOOL:&#160 Knocking them upside the head with spiked maces?

KORRIOTH:&#160 Feeding them to the Sarlacc on Tattooine?

Ah, I love my job.&#160

No, guys, it’s time to crank up the phenomonon known around these parts as the Perfect Football Weekend&#153.

If you’ve been reading me for any length of time – and yes, I know, that’s only about Six or Seven&#153 of you – then you know what this is about:&#160 Every Thursday or Friday or so during football season, I chronicle the exploits of my favorite football teams – “hah skrewl” (a little Rush lingo, there), college & pro.&#160 I size up their games for a given weekend…and if my teams all win, it’s a PFW.

Occasionally, at my whim and mine alone, I will declare a PFW by Executive Fiat&#153 – usually because a team I hate with The Purplest Of Passions&#153 gets their heads handed to them (yes, even if it’s by one point).&#160 More on that later.

(And as usual, I don’t give two shits about your&#160 teams – that’s what the comments are for, of course.&#160 Knock yerselfs out.&#160 You people who are reading this and would like to get in on it – now’s a good time to get an account set up here.&#160 Email me.&#160 (Link on the right sidebar.))

Now, back in February, I promised that changes were coming – and, so help me Cthulhu, I bloody well meant what I said.

(Once again, Denizens, let me acknowledge For The Record&#153 that the World At Large&#153 does not revolve around me.&#160 I’m perfectly aware that all this angst-filled rhetoric has the net effect of a gnat’s fart in a whirlwind.&#160 This is as much for my entertainment as it is for yours, mkay?&#160 Bite Sue me.)

With all that in mind, here are the teams I’m following in 2013:

High school:&#160 The (Fort Worth, TX) Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets.&#160 I kept seeing indications that Ged Kates was coming back to coach the Jackets, and my heart raced.&#160 But it sounded too good to be true, especially after the disaster that was the Todd Whitten era.

Then I went to this FWISD page, and got my answer.

Arlington Heights High School has selected Philip Young to serve as the new Head Football Coach. Coach Young graduated from Texas Tech where he played football on teams that played in the Independence Bowl in 1986 and the Coca Cola Bowl in Tokyo, Japan in 1988. While completing graduate work in History, he worked as a graduate assistant coach for two years at Rice University. He later coached at the University of North Texas from 1991 to 1994. Later, Coach Young started coaching and teaching at Denton Liberty Christian High School was part of two state championship teams. He also coached two state championship games as the offensive coordinator at Gainesville High School, winning the title in 2003. Before joining the Arlington Heights High School staff this year, Coach Young also served as head coach at Cleburne High School.

Okay, then.&#160 Best of luck to you, Coach Young.&#160 You’ve got a near-empty cupboard with which to work, so I don’t envy you.&#160 Let’s see what you can do.

College:&#160 The Texas Christian University Horned Frogs.&#160 It’s Year Two of the Big XII experiment for Gary Patterson’s bunch, and even though there was once again attrition that we didn’t really want to see, this group should be better able to handle it.

Josh Boyce & Stansley Maponga took their talents to the NFL – Boyce through graduation (apparently, he was a senior when I thought he was a junior), Maponga through listening to some fool agent who convinced him that he’d done all he could at TCU.

Devonte Fields will take over as the Defensive End To Stop&#153 – he already has a Big XII Defensive Player Of The Year under his belt, and should only get better.&#160 Jason Verrett & Sam Carter return to anchor a secondary that helped TCU lead the Big XII in defense last year

Casey Pachall is back, and even though Coach P is being coy about who will start against LSU, conventional wisdom dictates that Pachall is a better quarterback right now than Trevone Boykin.&#160 He’ll have Waymon James & B.J. Catalon to hand off to, and Cam White, LaDarius Brown & Bailey Desormeaux to throw to (and why Desormeaux isn’t playing for LSU, I’ve no idea).

It’s about a month to LSU at the Death Star, and we’ll find out a lot about this group in a hurry right about then.

College:&#160 The Liberty University Flames.&#160 It’s Year Two for Turner Gill as well at Jerry Falwell University, and things are looking up:

Seniors Kevin Fogg and Richard Wright have been named to 2013 Phil Steele Preseason FCS All-American teams, while 13 players are among those listed by the organization in its preseason all-conference lists.

Both Fogg and Wright were named to the Phil Steele Preseason FCS All-American first-team listing, with Fogg grabbing a spot on the team as a kickoff return specialist and Wright at long snapper.

Liberty was the only Big South program to have two first-team honorees on the Phil Steele listing. Players from Gardner-Webb (one second-team and one fourth-team) and Coastal Carolina (both third-team) were also named to the FCS All-American listing.

The first game is vs. Kent State in about one month’s time.&#160 As usual, Liberty will be under the SpatulaLine&#153, getting points when they appear way overmatched.

Pros:&#160 The Houston Texans.&#160 It’s time the Southern Command got some love from HQ, and I’m sick & tired of Cowgirl mediocrity, so the Texans get the nod this year.

Matt Schaub is back at QB, Arian Foster runs the ball, Andre Johnson catches it, and JJ Watt will anchor the defense.&#160 It got them a 12-4 record & an AFC South championship last year, and there’s no reason why they shouldn’t be a contender this year as well.

—

More teams may be added to this mix as I see fit, or not.&#160 In the meantime, this is a good group.

First games are next weekend, and I have a helluva story to launch with, so watch this space.

In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this.

Here’s to football!

UPDATE:&#160 Oops – almost forgot.

The team that I hate with the Purplest of Passions&#153…

K’HADIBAK’H:&#160 You mean, besides SMU & TU?

VENOMOUS:&#160 Something like that.

…is the Penn State Nittany Lions.

For the way they dragged Joe Paterno’s name though the mud, they are on the Eternal Shit List&#153.&#160 Anytime they lose, it doesn’t matter what&#160 any of the rest of my teams have done – I will declare a PFW by Executive Fiat&#153, because they got their asses kicked.

Now let’s go have some fun!

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One response to “PFW:&#160 Overview 2013 (UPDATED)”

1. David Hartung says:

   August 1, 2013 at 10:34 pm

   Just out of curiosity, what is the read this year on Green Bay and Pittsburgh?

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