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Denizens, as we begin the next installation of the Perfect Football Weekend, we take our first look of the year at the Second Coming Of The Greatest Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever, EVAH!!!!!&#153…also known as ARRRRRRRRRRR GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!1!!ONE!1!ELEVENTY!!!.

Between the end of last year & now, the Lame Stream Limp-Wristed Media had been, unwittingly, doing their damndest to actually make the Second Coming&#153…palatable&#160 to Yours Truly&#153.

There were whispers about how he was…(gasp, arrrgh!!!)…a CHRIIIIISSSSSSTIIIIAAAANNNNNN!!!!!! – and even worse…A CONSERRRRRVAAAATIIIIVVVVVE!!!!!

Black conservatives are blasting ESPN analyst Rob Parker for his racially-charged attack on Washington Redskin quarterback Robert Griffin III for being a suspected Republican sympathizer.

On-air, Parker declared Griffin, an African-American, “not one of us” and accused him of being a “cornball brother” because he has a white fiancé and allegedly has Republican leanings.

Members of Project 21, a national leadership group of black conservatives, today spoke out against Parker’s accusation that Griffin is not “down with the (black) cause.”

Well, you guys can relax.&#160 He’s one of y’all.

Liberal, that is.&#160 Weiner-style:

I’ve heard of professional athletes bouncing in and out of marriages, but Robert Griffin III tied the knot with college sweetheart Rebecca Liddicoat less than two weeks ago and their relationship is already on the rocks.

The Washington Redskins‘ star apparently has a weakness for the waitresses over at Hooters because according to multiple media outlets, RG3 has been caught sexting with Hooters employee Meredith Barber. Hailing from Virginia, Barber is currently a student at VCU and works at Hooters as well. The details of the supposed scandal are pretty murky, yet the most important thing is that pictures of the two together have surfaced and more are apparently on the way.

And he Sure’s Hell&#153 ain’t no fucking conservative.

Former Baylor quarterback Robert Griffin III thinks the time is now for gay players to come out.

The Washington Redskins star told GQ magazine that he feels the “window is now” for gay players.

“I think there are [gay players] right now, and if they’re looking for a window to just come out, I mean, now is the window,” Griffin said. “My view on it is, yes, I am a Christian, but to each his own. You do what you want to do. If some Christians want to look at being gay as a sin, then thinking about other women, committing adultery—or any of those other sins that are in the Bible—those are sins, too. And God looks at all of us the same way.”

Yeah, dumbass – as a fucking embarrassment when we refuse to stand up for His standards.

Thanks, LSM – you’ve given me new reasons to despise his ugly ass this year.

On with the football.&#160 Cowgirlz-Cardinals is on tomorrow, which is what’ll be on this toob whilst the Sibling Unit&#153 and I are trying to get me packed.

We’ve already had games like Lions-Browns, Falcons-Ravens, Bucs-Pats (“Braaaaaadeeeeee SPRAINED HIS ANKLE!!!!&#160 OHNOES!!!!!!!”) and FairyWhiners-Pocahontases.&#160 Maybe I can include a couple of those in the recap.

On Sunday, we’ll get Indian-hapless at the NY Football Douchebags, then on Monday it’s the Steelers versus the aforementioned Second Coming&#153 and the Foreskins.

We’ll try to have a recap Tuesday, since Mondays aren’t working very well for us.

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