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So I’m skimming Yahoo! late Saturday night, and I come across this blurb where Esquire magazine named Scarlett Johansson the “Sexiest Woman Alive”.

And I’m, like, “you can’t fucking be serious“.

Listen up, Esquire.&#160 Scarlett’s pretty, no doubt – and make no mistake, I&#160 certainly wouldn’t throw her out of bed.

But for my&#160 money, the absolute sexiest woman alive, bar nobody,&#160 is a woman named Lyzette Bianco.&#160 Beautiful Latina, everything in just the right places, in just the right proportion (well, she might could stand a skosh more up top, but she’s still&#160 devastating).&#160 In short, the absolute most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, period.

And you can quote me.


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One response to “No way, uh-uh, fuhgeddaboutit”

  1. chillyWllly says:

    my mommy has nasty fake tits and a man face. figures our trailer park would pay her so much to suck them off, cuz ima fucking syphillitic rump ranger.

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