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Denizens, this week’s edition of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153 opens with The World’s Greatest Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever (1st Edition)&#153 once again opening his mouth & inserting his foot:

Donovan McNabb’s post-playing career has been … interesting. Since stepping away from the game in 2011, the former Philadelphia Eagles quarterback and current Fox Sports and NFL Network analyst has become well-known for his dubious ponderings on social media. To wit.

(a lot of Twitter Turdbucket-ery™ deleted for brevity’s sake -DV)

But Thursday, the six-time Pro Bowler actually had a strong take on a subject he knows something about. During an interview with Chicago sports talk radio station 87.7-FM The Game while discussing Jay Cutler, the Windy City native managed to pull off the rare double-diss of two former peers.

“He’s the Tony Romo of the Midwest,” McNabb told the Kap and Haugh Show. “Can he play in this league? Absolutely, he’s proven that. But a quarterback is measured by your body of work, meaning your wins and losses record, the numbers you put up. And the end-all be-all is how many playoff wins do you have? How many playoff appearances do you have? If you only have one to show for almost a decade of play that means you can’t lead your team to the playoffs.”

Now, granted, Donna McFlabb does&#160 have one more NFC Championship than ol’ El Choko.&#160 That, I’ll concede.

But even he&#160 had to have a lights-out wide receiver (Widdle Terri Owens), plus an offensive line that held damn near every play for him to even accomplish that – and he still&#160 didn’t win a Lombardi Trophy.

In fact…it took Fat Ass Momma McFlabb’s widdle boy no fewer than four tries at the brass ring of the NFC before he even got&#160 there, didn’t it?

And then after all that…he was run out of Philly on the proverbial rail, signed with the WASHINGTON REDSKINS!!!!!&#160 (that’s for all you libtards out there), and did exactly…dick.

The point:&#160 McCrabby…you really don’t have a lot of room to talk, y’know?

On with the football.&#160 I promised you that I was going to talk about a little concept called Guaranteed Win Day&#153.&#160 The premise of GWD is that your upcoming game is against an opponent so weak

, you could play your third-teamers all game long, and still win by at least two touchdowns.&#160 High school teams usually try to schedule their Homecoming festivities around an opponent from which they can reasonably expect a GWD, thus sending the alumni home happy.

Enter Fort Worth North Side High School.

To say that no one will ever confuse the North Side Steers with last year’s Seattle Seahawks is, quite frankly, the Understatement Of The Year&#153.&#160 There are two perenially bad HS teams in Fort Worth, and North Side is one of them.

Which is probably one reason why Phil Young and my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets have scheduled them for Homecoming this year.

The game’s tomorrow, and never mind that Vegas doesn’t handicap high school games – you couldn’t pay them to do this one.&#160 Heights in a major squash – and I do&#160 mean major.

Also tomorrow, Gary Patterson and his 12th-ranked TCU Horned Frogs will be at home vs. 15th-ranked Oklahoma State.&#160 This will be OSU’s first trip to Ft. Worth in quite some time, thanks to the fuckheaded bastards schedule-makers at the Big XII.

Believe it or not, the Froggies are a 10&#189-point favorite over the Cowboys.&#160 Given the trouble OSU’s given TCU in the past, I’ll believe that&#160 when I see it.

Sunday, Andy Dalton & the Cincinnati Bengals are traveling to Indianapolis to take on Andrew Luck & the Colts.&#160 Hate to say this, but I don’t hold out much hope for the Bengals – you don’t beat Luck at home.&#160 You just don’t.

For my wildcard games this week, I’m gonna go with 21st-ranked Texas A&M at seventh-ranked Alabama (the Aggies’ post-Manziel misery continues), 19th-ranked Nebraska at Northwestern (the Wildcats win if they contain Ameer Abdullah), and 14th-ranked Kansas State visting 11th-ranked Oklahoma (I’d be picking K-State if the game were in Manhattan).

We’re back Monday (I hope) with the recap.&#160 In the meantime, my question for the Vicar is:&#160 Southern Miss is a nine-point road dog to North Texas.&#160 Granted, your guys from Hattiesburg have never been world-beaters on the road, but…really?