Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 20:39
Well, it looks like Steffi the Doublewide Fat-Assed Bitch Supreme has once again prevented my son from receiving Christmas presents sent to him by yours truly.
(And this time I know for a fact it was you personally, Steffi, you miserable little shrew. Here’s a hint: try lying about your identity BEFORE you admit to being you next time, hm?)
And Steffi, just so you know what it is you kept our son from having this year, have a gander:
A Lightning McQueen (from the Disney movie Cars) interactive car. Skip probably would’ve had fun with the thing all year – and it cost you nothing.
Oh, and I also sent along one of those goofy-assed little Teddy Snowflake bears you love so much, just so you wouldn’t have to buy him one. And as unbelieveable as it might sound, Steffi, you dumbass – I actually do that to honor you in a small (very small) way. Hell – do you think I want him to be caught dead with a stupid-assed bear that would be more at home swishing about in Oak Lawn?
So congratulations on playing the role of Grinch yet again, bitch. That’s four Christmases now you’ve denied him – and me.
I just hope you have a good explanation ready for God when you die. I guran-damn-tee you – you’re gonna need it.