Local time where you're at. ("Where you're at"?)

[Scene:&#160 The bridge of Pegasus.&#160 Our Intrepid Heroes&#153 find themselves near the Realm&#153-Imperial Empire&#153 border, having a look at what appears to be a derelict Imperial Star Destroyer, adrift in space.&#160 Executive officer Captain Korrioth is at the science station, taking sensor readings.&#160 Communications officer T-Bone McManx is intently listening for any response to the numerous hails he’s already sent the vessel.&#160 Navigator & weapons officer K’hadibak’h is looking expectantly back at Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant, eagerly awaiting the command to lock onto the craft and destroy it with the ship’s new transphasic torpedoes.&#160 His Rudeness&#153 sits & stares thoughtfully at the viewscreen, absently chewing a knuckle.]

LSIK&T:&#160 Still no life signs, Captain?

KORRIOTH:&#160 Negative, Admiral.&#160 The vessel appears to have been abandoned.

LSIK&T:&#160 McManx, have you managed to make out its registry yet?

T-BONE:&#160 Admiral, it appears to be Lyudmila&#160 – Emperor Misha’s personal vessel.

KORRIOTH:&#160 I thought he commandeered Executor II&#160 for his personal use…?

LSIK&T:&#160 Not since that incident with Durron and the Sun Crusher.&#160 Got his ass rightly singed on that one – Executor&#160 simply isn’t fast enough nor manueverable enough.&#160 (chews more knuckle)&#160 I wonder…

KORRIOTH:&#160 Admiral!!!&#160 Torpedo tubes arming!!!

LSIK&T:&#160 Evasive pattern Gamma!!!&#160 K’hadibak’h, shields, now!!!

K’HADIBAK’H:&#160 Incoming!!!

LSIK&T:&#160 All hands, brace for impact!!!!!

[Everyone flinches as Lyudmila’s&#160 shot finds its target – the viewscreen of Pegasus&#160 – and hits with a sickly-sounding sploosh.&#160 (Think of Dark Helmet’s vessel getting jammed in Spaceballs.)&#160 Once His Rudeness&#153 realizes they haven’t been vaporized, he cautiously peeks up.&#160 A massive scowl crosses his face.]

LSIK&T:&#160 Oh, shit.&#160 It’s a frickin’ meme!!!

I’m supposed to divulge some weird facts about His Imperial Vileness, Brendan?

…

So now I get to tag people, mheh.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Better you than me.

LSIK&T:&#160 Shut up or I’ll put you in command of the Hum-a-zoo.

KORRIOTH:&#160 (grunt)

Okay, okay.&#160 Six weird things that few folks know about me.&#160 Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

1) At one time – specifically, back in 1980 – I was considered one of the five best “hah skrewl” (a little Rush lingo, there) tenors in the city of Fort Worth.&#160 I was one of the ones chosen to participate in solo competition down in Austin.&#160 Didn’t do too badly, either, though it coulda been better.

2) As much as I love football, you’d think I’d’ve played organizationally at some point.&#160 And you’d be wrong.&#160 Guys with my build weren’t sought out in the schools I attended, not even for the offensive line.&#160 Which was rather curious – because whenever I played a disorganized game of “tackle the man with the football” during recess, no one – and I do mean no one&#160 – ever was able to bring me down.&#160 Period.

3) I’m an accomplished (though not licensed nor commissioned) driving instructor.&#160 In college, I helped an old girlfriend practice for her driving test, taking her to the mall on Sunday mornings and letting her work on turns, parallel parking, backing up and the like in my old Ford Maverick.&#160 I later sold her the Maverick so that I could go buy a car with a manual transmision, which I owned for exactly six hours before one of my Spatulaites wrecked it (no fault of his own).&#160 The girl owned that Maverick for many, many years.

4) In that same vein, I spent my first honeymoon teaching Wife Number One&#153 how to drive a standard – my old, beat-up 1978 Mustang II.&#160 (What can I say?&#160 It was a four-on-the-floor.)&#160 To this day, Wife Number One&#153 still&#160 drives a standard transmission, which makes me insufferably pleased with myself.

UPDATE:&#160 Oh, and I also gave LC & Denizen Alan K. Henderson instruction in the fine art of the manual transmission.&#160 Sadly, he chose instead to waste his money on an automatic.

5) I’ve only been rip-roaringly bombed-off-my-ass drunk once in my life – after a $.25 beer bash at a hotspot in Fort Worth about 25 years ago.&#160 (I’ve been tipsy a couple other times, but not to this extent.)&#160 It was a mile-and-a-half to my house, and I didn’t so much as blink the entire way, for fear I’d wreck.

Once home, I rather loudly (though it didn’t seem that way to me at the time) stumbled up the stairs and fell into bed.&#160 Ninety seconds later, I tried to make it across the hall to the porcelain temple.

I was about five seconds late.

Two days later, Herr Stepfather informed me in no uncertain terms that if I did that again, I would be thrown out of the house.&#160 Needless to say, I’ve been sober since then.

6) I hate tagging people, and I don’t have six people to tag, though I’m tempted to get back at Chris Muir and Frank for never having blogrolled me.&#160 But, seeing as they might say, “Lord who?”, I’ll settle for these guys:

The SpatulaGoddess (hey don’t give me that look – I owed you one, remember?)

LC & Denizen Deathknyte (I figure he’s too busy/broke to make it down here to kill me )

Feel free, guys.&#160

Update the 2nd:&#160 Oh, yeah – you’re it too, Alan. (grin)

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