Welcome to the Realm™ - Version 5.0...

(This is in case that pussy Willie Amos deletes my response to you on Twitchy, you son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch.)

2314 Summer Oaks Ct, Arlington, TX.

Come spew your bullshit to my face, Stevie Gebeaux, you cowardly little pussy. See what happens to chickenshits who bring up my son in public forums.

Come on, doucherifle.&#160 Grow a fuckin’ pair and let’s see what you’ve got, cuntrag.

I’m waiting.


Something is wrong with Andy Dalton.

Arlington Heights 67, Western Hills 0

at #6 TCU 41, #7 Kansas State 20

at Cincinnati 3, Cleveland 24

Marshall 63, at Southern Miss 17

#23 West Virginia 16, T-Sip Shortdicks Texas 33

#20 Georgia 63, at Kentucky 21

Bad enough when one team doubles-up on another.&#160 When one team triples-up

Told you Georgia was pissed, didn’t I?

I went to see Heights-Hills Friday night.&#160 Saw all I needed to see by halftime.

Which, probably not coincidentally, was probably all coach Phil Young needed to see, too.&#160 Heights could have easily – and no…I’m not embellishing this whatsoever – easily&#160 hung a hundred or more on Western Hills.&#160 Easily.

I’m serious.&#160 Hills offered damned little resistance to the Yellow Jacket offense Friday night.&#160 Third-and-25 from midfield (thanks to a penalty or two)?&#160 No sweat for quarterback Deion Hair’Griffin – throw a twenty-yard out to wideout Larry Johnson, let him do the rest.&#160 Thirty yards later…yawn, touchdown Heights, yawn.

As it was, they score a field goal in the 3rd and a touchdown in the fourth, and that was it.

TCU’s victory over K-State was remarkably easy, all things considered.&#160 Never trailed, and the Wildcats only got within seven once.

This is not your father’s Southern Miss.&#160 (Or the Vicar’s, for that matter)

The Golden Eagles just don’t lose like that.&#160 Not at home, for Cthulhu’s sake.

Damn.&#160 Just, damn.

Andy Dalton had an NFL QB rating the other night of 2.0

No, I’m not kidding.&#160 Two.&#160 Point.&#160 Oh.

But without any doubt, Dalton was awful. Look at this line and try not to cringe: 10-of-33 for 86 yards and three interceptions. That’s how you get a 2.0 passer rating. Yes, 2.0. It might be the worst performance by an NFL quarterback this season, and an inexcusable one for someone in his fourth year as a starter.

Dalton was horribly inaccurate. He threw into heavy coverage. He held the ball too long and took too many sacks. It was baffling that he wasn’t benched until Jason Campbell finally got in late in the fourth quarter. Dalton has gotten a lot of criticism for playoff failures, and he has regressed since last year. In nine games, Dalton has eight touchdowns and nine interceptions. That’s not good enough for a team that is now 5-3-1 despite some mediocre quarterback play.

I have no idea what the deal is.&#160 If this were Tony “El Choko” Romo, I’d understand; he’s had multiple&#160 games like that.

But Dalton?

OTOH, this could be a good thing.&#160 If Cincinnati dumps him after this year, I know a team that needs a serviceable backup…

This week:&#160 4-2.&#160 Overall:&#160 52-14-1.

The PFW will return Friday, as we discuss how good Heights could possibly be.


Thank you.


As we launch another edition of the Perfect Football Weekend, Denizens, we are compelled to revisit the railroading & virtual crucifixion of one Joseph Paterno, former Pennsylvania State University head football coach, and how he was made to account, drawn & quartered, for basically performing within the scope of his job.

In this column, we are now finding out that even the NCAA knew that it didn’t have the legal authority to hand down any sanctions on either Paterno or the PSU program.

New internal NCAA emails offer a glimpse into how the organization questioned its own decision-making leading up to the unprecedented sanctions levied against Penn State in 2012, saying at one point it was banking on the fact that the university “is so embarrassed they will do anything.”

Seven pages of emails — from July 13 to July 21, 2012 — were filed Sunday as part of a Pennsylvania state senator’s lawsuit against the NCAA.

NCAA president Mark Emmert announced the sanctions against the university July 23, 2012.

“Delicate issue, but how did PSU gain a competitive advantage by what happened?” Kevin Lennon, the NCAA vice president for academic and membership affairs, wrote July 14, 2012. “Even if discovered, reported, and actions taken immediately by the administration, not sure how this would have changed anything from a competitive advantage perspective.”

Julie Roe Lach, then the NCAA’s top enforcement officer, responded to Lennon about 75 minutes later. She told him that “Mark” — believed to be Emmert — thought Penn State did gain a competitive advantage, although she and several others disagreed with that point.

“I characterized our approach to PSU as a bluff when talking to Mark yesterday afternoon after the call,” she wrote.


“We find it deeply disturbing that NCAA officials in leadership positions would consider bluffing one of their member institutions, Penn State, to accept sanctions outside of their normal investigative and enforcement process,” the university said in a statement released Wednesday.

So, basically, the NCAA intimidated Penn State into firing JoePa and engaging in its own little bit of self-flagellation.

Now, there’s not a single one here who is saying that what Jerry Sandusky did wasn’t wrong.&#160 What I’m saying is that neither PSU nor Paterno bore any responsibility in the matter (save for State firing Paterno & turning him into some sort of pariah), and should not have been held accountable.&#160 And for the NCAA to have done exactly that, through illegal means, smacks of the worst sort of fascism.

Fuck you & the horse you rode in on, NCAA.

On with the football.&#160 Another early start to the PFW, but this time it’s Andy Dalton’s Cincinnati Bengals at home versus cross-state rival Cleveland for first place in the AFC Central.

Normally I wouldn’t give Brian Hoyer much chance on the road, but Cincy’s defense isn’t exactly the ’93 Cowboys.&#160 Game goes to whomever has the ball last.

Last game of the regular season for Phil Young and my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets Friday evening, this one against the Western Hills Cougars (aka the Alma Mater&#153 of the First Wife&#153) – and, given what’s been done to them this year…well, call it overconfidence if you must, but Heights could play it’s third-string all game and rout these guys.

How bad is Western Hills?&#160 Their only victory is against North Side.&#160 By six points.

South Hills destroyed them on an Aledo scale, 83-7.

Trimble Tech, whom Heights smashed last week, 64-0?&#160 The week prior, they beat Hills 60-18.

This will be the first unbeaten season in football for Heights in a long time.&#160 How long?&#160 Don’t know for sure, but I think I was going there at the time.

Saturday, it’ll be Gary Patterson’s sixth-ranked TCU Horned Frogs at home versus Bill Snyder’s seventh-ranked Kansas State Wildcats.&#160 The purple team will win.

TCU needs this one.&#160 Get it, and it’s all but a fait accompli&#160 that they win the Big XII.&#160 They’re home, so I feel better than I otherwise would, but it’ll still be close.

The wildcard games this week will be Marshall at Southern Miss (sorry, Vicar), #23 West Virginia taking out their frustrations versus TU (Charlie Strong runs into another buzzsaw), and #20 Georgia destroying Kentucky (the Dawgs are not happy about losing to Florida, and the Wildcats are gonna be made to pay).

We’re back next week with a recap. With any luck, it’ll actually be Monday.


Didn’t have much time to begin with this week, frittered away what little I had, so this is all I got – results.

Arlington Heights 64, Trimble Tech 0

#7 TCU 31, #20 West Virginia 30

at Cincinnati 33, Jacksonville 23

#3 Auburn 35, at #4 Ole Miss 31

#18 Oklahoma 59, at Iowa State 14

Indiana 10, at Michigan 34

Well, it’s always nice to see that Indiana can’t beat Michigan, no matter how bad Michigan is. :-/


TCU’s a 5½-point road fave, which means it’ll come down to Jaden Overkrom, most likely.

Last play of the game.&#160 Boom.

You’re welcome.

This week:&#160 5-1.&#160 Overall:&#160 48-12-1

Quick turnaround – Cincy plays tomorrow, so I’ll be back here then.&#160 Damn if I know what the lead-in will be, but I’ll think of something.


This commercial has always&#160 pissed me off.

Somebody please&#160 tell me why this girl doesn’t throw the apron back in her metrosexual boyfriend’s face, kick both&#160 boyfriend and compadre (wingman?) in the crotch, pack whatever things of hers are there and leave&#160 said boyfriend’s sorry ass?

Anyone?&#160 Anyone?&#160 Bueller?



Well, the MSU Bulldogs are now 8 and 0 against Arkansas, Air Force destroyed Army, and Wisconsin beat Rutgers. In addition Ole Miss lost to Auburn and the Georgia lost to Florida. All in all, it was a good football day. Unfortunately, Mrs. Vicar’s Nittany Lions also lost, and had MSU lost, she would not have been a happy camper.



What on earth is going on with your sorry excuse for a mayor?


Looking at the vegas.com site it seems that those teams I like are all favourites, with Mississippi State being an eleven point favourite over Arkansas. We shall see what happens when this day is done.


Denizens, as we begin this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend, we are amused that Joseph “Lightfingers” Randle simply Can.&#160 Not.&#160 Keep.&#160 His.&#160 Mouth.&#160 Shut&#153.

Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant and running back Joseph Randle got into an argument as the media was entering the practice field Friday.

Bryant did not divulge what the argument was about when asked after practice, but a source said it was related to a comment Randle made during the running back’s arrest earlier this month in reference to a July 2012 incident involving Bryant and the receiver’s mother.


“Dez didn’t miss no games for slapping his mama,” Randle said in the video, obtained by KDFW-TV, that was taken while he was being booked after stealing underwear and a tester bottle of cologne form a Dillard’s in Frisco, Texas.

Randle was wondering aloud if he’d be suspended by the team for the shoplifting arrest.

Bastard shoulda been cut – especially after coughing up the ball the other night against the Foreskins.

In the video, Randle also made a comment about Josh Brent, who was convicted of vehicular manslaughter for his involvement in an accident that led to the death of teammate and friend Jerry Brown in 2012.

“Josh Brent, he’s still up in the locker room. He was driving drunk. That’s stupid,” Randle said.


Randle made other flippant remarks while being booked, including asking a female jail employee if she would give him a massage if he paid her $100 and asking why his height and weight were not on his mug shot.

Asshole thinks he’s a hot shit, when he’s not even among the top three running backs at Valley Ranch.


Let’s get on with the football.&#160 My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets, having all but won District 7-5A, have to fight against a letdown tonight when they play the Trimble Tech Bulldogs here in a little bit.&#160 South Hills handled the Green & White pretty easily a couple of weeks ago, so I expect Heights to roll here.

Tomorrow afternoon, Gary Patterson’s seventh-ranked TCU Horned Frogs have what will probably be their toughest test, as they’re in Morgantown to play the 20th-ranked West Virginia Mountaineers.

How tough?&#160 WVA gave Baylor what should have been their second consecutive loss – had it not been for the LIttle Darlings&#153′ hand-picked zebras a couple weeks ago.

TCU’s a 5&#189-point road fave, which means it’ll come down to Jaden Overkrom, most likely.

Sunday, it should be a near-walkover for the Cincy Bengals, as Andy Dalton’s crew hosts the worst team in the NFL, namely the Jacksonville Jaguars.

Running back Giovani Bernard is out for the Black & Orange; hopefully, that won’t make much of a difference.&#160 AJ Green returns, though, so that should get them through.

The wildcards this week will be 18th-ranked Oklahoma taking out their frustrations on Iowa State, 3rd-ranked Auburn at 4th-ranked Ole Miss (I’m going out on a limb on this one), and Indiana for the upset special at Michigan (trust me, sportz fanz – Brady Hoke is on his way out).

With any luck, we’ll have a timely recap this week. In the meantime…the crumb-crunchers are about to start knocking at my door, so…&#160


That’ll teach me.

Arlington Heights 66, South Hills 48

at #10 TCU 82, Texas Tech 27

at Cincinnati 27, Baltimore 24

at #16 Nebraska 42, Rutgers 24

BYU 30, at Boise State 55

at #11 Kansas State 23, Texas 0

at Dallas 17, Washington Foreskins 20 (OT)

Sorry for yet another delay, Denizens.

Neither defense – Jackets or Scorpions – were all that effective.&#160 But Heights did get a couple of key stops, and that was the ball game.

After what BigamY U did to TU, I figured Smurf-Turf State wouldn’t pose a problem.

Shows what I know.

TU hasn’t been shut out in ten years, until Saturday.&#160 Charlie Strong had best turn things around in a hurry, or his tenure will be a short one.

I guess Rutgers is a little better than first thought, but the Huskers handled them in the second & third quarters.

TCU never did run the quarterback sneak (at least, not in this scribe’s memory) when Andy Dalton was here.

Baltimore knows he can, now.&#160 And it just cost them a second loss to the Bengals.

Speaking of TCU, I expected a high-scoring affair between them & Tech – but I expected it to be on both sides.

Damn.&#160 Just, damn

That is the absolute last time I pick the Dallas Cowgirlz to win a game.&#160 Fool me once, shame on you – fool me twice…

Congratulations, fuckheads.&#160 You let the biggest pussy in the history of T-Sip Shortdick Texas Longhorn football beat you – and you didn’t even make the douchebag try&#160 to earn it.

Fuck you, Cowgirlz.

This week:&#160 5-2.&#160 Overall:&#160 43-11-1

The PFW returns tomorrow…hopefully.&#160 I’ll have to write blurbs between handing out butt-loads of candy to young skulls (literally) full o’ mush.&#160 We’ll see what happens.


As his Nastiness pointed out several weeks ago, the Vicar seems to have his own PFW going on this year. More details later, but this afternoon number one Mississippi State University(it really feels strange writing that) beat the University of Kentucky and moved to 7 and 0 on the season. Later this evening, LSU beat Ole Miss, leaving the Dawgs as the only unbeaten SEC team. More to follow on Monday, but this is shaping up to be a banner year for the Mississippi State Bulldogs!


As we begin this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153, Denizens, we note for the record that the Dallas Cowboys have finally come to their senses and released Michael Sam from the practice squad in favor of linebacker Troy Davis and defensive tackle Ken Bishop (both of whom were in Dallas’ training camp).

This creates something a dilemma in the Realm&#153.

Remember back here, when I said:

So that’s it. I’m done with Dallas – for good, this time. The Cowgirlz now become a PFW “Anti-Team” – meaning they’re now this scribe’s least-favorite team, more disliked than even the Warshington Foreskins or the San Transexual Fairy Whiners.

Honestly, what’s a King & Tyrant&#153 to do?&#160 They’re playing well, and Cincy…well…isn’t.&#160 And I’ve pretty much always followed them, whereas I’m only following Cincinnati because of Andy Dalton.

Decisions, decisions.

Okay, on with the football.&#160 This is the acid test for Phil Young & my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets.&#160 They have the South Hills Scorpions tonight, and SHHS is every bit as good (if not better) as the Jackets.

As much as I hate to say it, I think the Scorps are gonna win…and Great Honkin’ Cthulhu&#153, I hope I’m wrong.

Saturday, Gary Patterson’s 10th-ranked TCU Horned Frogs are at home against perennial pest Texas Tech.

This is sort of a rivalry game in the Realm&#153, as the wife of Supreme General Rayegun (hereinafter referenced as the Generalette) is a Tech grad; thus, the Southern Command has a vested interest in the game.

OZY McCOOL:&#160 Shall I get to work on the shields, in case the General decides to bring the Black Helicopter Fleet&#153 and take TCU’s inevitable victory out on us?

VENOMOUS:&#160 Probably, and make sure the pulse disruptor is in good repair, as well.

(Sorry, General.&#160 But TCU’s flying high, and you guys barely beat Rock Chalk last week.&#160 Besides, Vegas has the Frogs as a 23-point favorite.)

Sunday, Cincinnati will try to score a point.

Don’t laugh.&#160 They have Baltimore at home, and even though the Unconvicted Criminal&#153, Ray Lewis, no longer plays for them, their defense is still most stout.&#160 And Vegas has the Ravens as a 1-point road favorite.

And after what Indy did to them last week, there’s a raised eyebrow pointed towards Cincy’s offensive coordinator.


For my wildcard games, we’re going with Rutgers visiting #16 Nebraska (the Scarlet Knights have basically stunk up their first year in the B1G), BigamY U (that’s Brigham Young for those of you in the Church of the SubTarded&#153) traveling to that ugly-assed blue field to take on Smurf-Turf State (things aren’t quite as easy with out Chrissy “Trick Play” Peterson on the sidelines) tonight, the T-Sip Shortdicks TU Longhorns up in Lawrence to take on #11 Kansas State (the Wildcates bore everybody to a win) – and in a bonus game, the Dallas Cowboys to steamroll the Warshington Foreskins REDSKINS, DAMMIT!!!!! at home…

UPDATE:&#160 …on Monday night.

I will make an effort to get you the recap on Monday Tuesday. In the meantime, my question for the Vicar is…Southern Miss, a 9&#189-point home dogg to Louisiana Tech?!?!?!


What in the hell&#160 has happened to A&M?

Arlington Heights 63, North Side 3

at #12 TCU 42, #15 Oklahoma State 9

Cincinnati 0, at Indianapolis 27

at #7 Alabama 59, #21 Texas A&M 0

#19 Nebraska 38, at Northwestern 17

at #11 Oklahoma 30, #14 Kansas State 31

Believe it or not, North Side actually led Heights in the first quarter, 3-0.

Then Heights got the ball.&#160 Game over.&#160

Ross Evans somehow made it onto the field Saturday and wore Michael Hunnicutt’s #18 jersey. Can there be any other explanation for OU leaving 7 points on the field like that?

Still, OU gave the old, tired “it didn’t have to come down to that” excuse.

Oklahoma tight end Blake Bell said it wasn’t all Hunnicutt’s fault.

“Hunnicutt’s a great kicker,” Bell said. “I mean, he makes every single kick that I’ve ever seen — it’s ridiculous — so you can’t blame it on him. Hunny, the type of guy he is, he’s going to bounce back and be great and make field goals for us.”

Yeah, I know:&#160 All y’all “coulda, shoulda, woulda” done more so it didn’t have to come down to that.&#160 But you didn’t.&#160 And it did, and Hunnicutt screwed it up.

Sometimes you just have to blame the kicker.&#160 Ask TCU & Ross Evans.

That debacle in Indy…was discouraging.&#160 Yes, Andy Dalton didn’t have the services of AJ Green, true – but no one will ever confuse the Indian-hapless Colts’ defense for the ’85 Bears.

Damn.&#160 Just, damn.

WITY&#153 about Northwestern?&#160 They held Ameer Abdullah to 40 rushing yards in the first half, and led Nebraska, 17-14.&#160 In fact, the Huskers had to go all Boise-State on the Wildcats to even be that close (QB Tommy Armstrong caught a pass in the end zone from wideout De’Mornay Pierson-El to get to a 14-all tie).

Fortunately for the Big Red, the offensive line & Abdullah woke up in the second half.&#160 Abdullah finished with 146 yards on 23 carries as Nebraska rolled.

With all respect and admiration for Mike Gundy – Hey, Okie State!!!&#160 Not quite as easy to play TCU when the game’s not in your backyard, is it?&#160

(And no, I’m still not fond of the idea of Trevone Boykin at quarterback – but at least he’s screwing up a lot less than he’s done the last two years.&#160 Actually kinda parallels Andy in that regard.)

Three weeks ago, Texas A&M was the #6 college football team in the nation.&#160 The talk was all about Johnny Manziel’s replacement, Kenny Hill.&#160 “Kenny Football”, they were calling him.&#160 Coach Kevin Sumlin was being talked about in terms of possibly being a candidate to replace Jason Garrett as coach of the Dallas Cowboys.

Think about that for a second.

Now?&#160 After this embarrassment at the hands of the Crimson Tide?&#160 There’s now talk about whether Hill will even remain the starting quarterback.&#160 Coach Sumlin has vowed to put every aspect of the program under a microscope.&#160 No starter’s job is safe for next weekend.

How the mighty have fallen.

Wow.&#160 Just, wow.

This week:&#160 4-2.&#160 Overall:&#160 38-9-1.

The PFW will return Friday, when we discuss the District 7-5A championship, and whether I should allow the Dallas Cowboys back in (and why).&#160 See you then.


For the second week in a row, Mississippi State and Ole Miss are numbers 1 and three respectively in the AP poll. In addition SEC teams make up four of the top five, and five of the top ten in that same poll.

Last Summer the Vicar attended a vicar type conference in Seward Nebraska, where very few people had ever heard of Mississippi State; something tells me that were that same conference to be held this week, the responses would be very different. This coming week Mississippi State faces Kentucky and hope is high in Starkville that we will go to bed Saturday night a 7 and 0 team.


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