But I did, some time back, promise you Gratuitous Gun Pr0n!!!!!!!!1!!ONE~1™ - and I like to keep my promises.

So, without further adieu...

This is a Bersa Thunder 380cc - a .380 semi-auto handgun (duh!) that produced very  nice groupings on the first time out.  It is now the carry piece of choice - which was the intent all along (in fact, it hid very nicely in an internal holster during the Sibling Unit™'s Last Meal™ as a single guy last evening).  It handles well, fits superbly in the hand - and, as mentioned earlier, has superior groupings.  (The "cc" stands, obviously, for "concealed carry" - but I figure you guys already knew that.  )

This would be a fine piece with which to qualify for a CHL - and, when mine's up for renewal in a couple years, that's just what I'm gonna do. 

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. —Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain [George III] is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

We lost an icon today, Denizens.  Larry Harmon, whom I know for a fact you all know better as Bozo the Clown, has passed away of congestive heart failure.  He was 83.

He wasn't the original Bozo, and certainly there have been others who donned the orange-frizzed wig, huge cherry-red nose, the red, white and powder-blue outfit and the size 83AAA (his words) - but no one played the character better.

"I felt if I could plant my size 83AAA shoes on this planet, (people) would never be able to forget those footprints," he said.

The Realm's prayers are with the Harmon family tonight.  We loved Larry, and he will be sorely missed.

Item:  It pissed PETA off.  Good. 

Item:  Pamela Anderson Lee-Rock-Lee-whomever she humps next tries a rip job on Jessica.  Rumor has it that the "choice" name she called Jessica was "whore".

Yeah.  You read right.  Jessica Simpson got called a "whore" by Pamela Anderson Lee-Rock-Lee-whomever's-next.

Must...fight...urge...to...aw, hell with it.

A suburban Houston homeowner was cleared by a grand jury Monday for fatally shooting two men he suspected of burglarizing his neighbor's home.

Joe Horn, 62, shot the men in November after he saw them crawling out the windows of a neighbor's house in the Houston suburb of Pasadena, carrying bags of the neighbor's possessions.

Why yes, we are  our neighbor's keeper here in Texas.  Why do you ask? 

Mr. Horn, a retired grandfather, called 911 and told the dispatcher he had a shotgun and was going to kill them. The dispatcher pleaded with him not to go outside,

Because as we all know - when seconds count, the police are only minutes away.

but Mr. Horn confronted the men with a 12-gauge shotgun and shot both in the back.

Points taken off for style, to be sure, but the two dead goblins mitigate that quite substantially, I would say.

"The message we're trying to send today is the criminal-justice system works," Harris County District Attorney Kenneth Magidson said.

Actually, it sounds more like you're sending the message that fuckheaded goblin perps aren't going to get an even break in Harris County.

Which is just fine with us, we're pleased to announce.  Just fine with us. 

The two suspected burglars, Hernando Riascos Torres, 38, and Diego Ortiz, 30, were unemployed illegal immigrants from Colombia. Mr. Torres was deported to Colombia in 1999 after a 1994 cocaine-related conviction.

LSIK&T:  Kor, any response from the meter?

KORRIOTH:  No, m'Lord - it must be broken.  Here, have a look:

LSIK&T:  No, Captain, I believe this fine piece of equipment is in perfect working order. 

UPDATE:  As usual, Misha - having far more time, on balance, than your humble correspondent to layeth the smacketh down on GFWs like All Barack Crap (all the time) News - has once again cranketh'd out a gem, and you are advised to go read it at your earliest convenience.

Then go out and do it.

I already have. 

Yeah, the Dragons.  Gayest team name in the effin' league.  And  they were a fucking .500 regular-season team, to boot (8-8).

(That's their third straight  first-round playoff buh-bye, in case anyone's counting.)

Now, I'm not sure how much attention Jerry is paying to the Desperados right at the moment.  I do know that if I  owned them, coach Will McClay would have been fired about 30 minutes after that sickening performance.  This is about as bad as the Cowboys losing to that piece-of-shit Eli Manning.  Hell - it's as bad as anyone  losing to that pansy-ass.  Jerry, have you forgotten how to hire a coach who can win a freakin' playoff game?????

Damn.  Just, damn. 

Ergo, if you're commenting, do a different addy.

ThatIsAll™.  Thanks.

Misha pretty much said it here.  I'll have more to say tonight.

UPDATE:  As I said this morning, Misha pretty much hit the nail on the head.

I'm convinced that, had the tin-horned, tyrannical blackrobe Toni Kennedy voted with the liberal bloc on the Soprano Court (as he usually does), cities far & wide would have begun drafting all manner of gun bans - handheld, rifles, shotguns and the so-called "assault" weapons.  This, in turn, would very likely have triggered those of us who own guns and think with our noggins instead of our asses, to take said guns and take to the streets.  The Second US Civil War would have ensued shortly thereafter.

You may think I'm embellishing things a tad.  I'd hope that it wouldn't come to that - but if the rest of America's gun-owners are anything like me (and I think this likely), we're not giving up our guns, regardless of what any  court says.  In such a scenario, we'd likely die - but we'd have an honor guard, as Misha likes to say.

So the Soprano Court dodged a bullet (pun intended).  But only for now, and their decision is not a perfect one.  Moreover, if Hopey "Flopears" McChangetude prevails in November (not out of the question, given how McZhamnesty has a predilection for shooting himself in the foot), this issue will return with a vengeance.  And the scenario we just avoided might be inevitable next time.

And if it should  come to that - I'll tell you this right now, you leftist fucktards...you don't stand a chance.  And after we're done with you, you're gonna wish  you still had a Constitution on which to fall back.  We'll win that particular struggle, and it'll get ugly for you bastards from there.

Don't say you wern't warned.

I mean, it's not bad enough that the son-of-a-bitch let a 17-year-old murderer damn near get off scot-free because Kennedy thinks international law is more important than our Constitution.  It wasn't bad enough that this bastard then allowed Terri Schiavo to die a horrible, long and painful death.

Oh, no.  Oh, hell no.

Now  this fucking waste-of-oxygen and his four shit-for-brains tyrannical cohorts have come down on the side of child rapists.  To hell with the will of the people of Louisiana, Texas and whatever other states had similar provisions - no, once again these five Jizz-gobbling Jurist Jackals™ have decided that they know better than the millions of people who voted, through their representatives, for these provisions to be enacted.

NAMBLA would be proud of these five sacks of putrid bullshit.  I can almost hear their parties in honor of these assholes even now.

At this point, my question is not why these five motherfuckers are still on the Supreme Soprano Court.

It's not why they remain on any court at all.

It's not why they remain firmly ensconced & employed by the United States government.

It's not why they remain in the practice of law.

At this point - it's why they remain.  Period.

Why the Hell™ do these five gutless bastards continue to waste our oxygen tonight?

Where are the good people with brass ones who will stand up to these smarmy little black-robed pissants and say "ENOUGH!!!!!" ???

Ropes, trees, flamethrowers, whips, spiked balls, blackjacks, AK-47s, bayonets...you know the drill.

Memo to Flopears The Magic Jackass:  Dr.  Dobson (and where's your  doctorate, Obambi, you dumbass?) could tell me the sky was purple polka-dot and I'd take his word for it - whereupon if you  were to tell me it was blue, I'd go outside to double check.

For you, a documented effin' liar, to accuse a well-respected Christian leader of "making stuff up" shows us the height of your arrogance.  Not to mention the fact that you're full of bullshit to begin with, Barry.

The Rev. Kirbyjon Caldwell, a Methodist pastor from Texas and longtime supporter of President Bush who has endorsed Obama,

Which should tell you all you need to know about most Methodists - that they have their heads up their asses.

said Tuesday he belongs to a group of religious leaders who, working independently of Obama's campaign, launched a Web site to counter Dobson at www.jamesdobsondoesntspeakforme.com. The site highlights statements from Obama and Dobson and asks visitors to compare them.

And I went over there and let them know, in no uncertain terms, just what I thoguht of them.  And I encourage you to do the same.

Fucking asshats, the whole lot of 'em. 

Carlin never did have much good to say about those of us who call on the name of Christ.  Something tells me he's being reminded of that RightAboutNow™.

UPDATE:  Now, there was  one thing that Carlin did that I absolutely went nuts about - and those of you who either know me well or have followed this blog any number of years during fall & winter pretty much know what it's gonna be.

Nevertheless, here's my favorite Carlin routine, for your viewing pleasure:

Harris wasn't a bad pitcher, per se - in fact, for a couple of years, he served as their closer - but what set him apart was this little known fact:  He could pitch with either hand.  There were even rumors that he was working on a special glove to do just that.

Ever since then, I'd always wondered what would happen if he were to try that, and a switch hitter - say, Pete Rose, for example - were to come up to bat with the idea to switch to either side of the plate in an effort to counter the switch-pitcher.

Well, now we have our answer.

In his professional debut, Pat Venditte of the Staten Island Yankees – a natural right-hander whose father taught him to pitch with either arm – played cat-and-mouse in the ninth inning with the Brooklyn Cyclones' Ralph Henriquez as each player tried to gain an advantage, holding up the game for seven minutes.

Check out the video:

Given that there was a runner on first, I might have wanted my pitcher to stay with the left hand, for the better pickoff attempt.  That's just me, though. 

So it is with great joy that the Realm™ announces the marriage of Frog linebacker Robert Henson to Sarah Jakes - yes, the daughter of T.D. Jakes of the Potter's House.

Best of luck to you guys, Robert & Sarah!