The Spatula City BBS!


(For those times when you're not sure of the meaning of something I say)


Term         Meaning
"Kaiser Wilhelm von Slickmeister"         Nickname given to Bill Clinton upon his invasion & subsequent occupation of the White House. Intended to convey his Nazilike rule of the United States of America. Perjorative after "von" may be modified for the occasion - "von Skirtchaser", "von Draftdodger", etc.  IMPORTANT NOTE:  You may have noticed Rush Limbaugh, over the past two or three years, begin to refer to Clinton as Wilhelm Von Der Schlick Meister.  I have no direct evidence that he took my terminology, appropriated it, and altered it for his own use - but I find it verrrrrrrrry interesting how closely related they are - especially given that Rush admitted actually having heard of Fidonet, and was rumored to have either read the Fidonet Limbaugh echo himself or had one of his minions read it - the echo being, of course, where this term first appeared nationally...
"Der Kaiser"         Shorthand for "Kaiser Wilhelm von Slickmeister".  NOTE:  See previous; now apply that to the Rush term "der Schlick Meister".  I'm sorry - that's more than a coincidence...
"Prince Ozone"         Former - gawd, that sounds so good - Vice-Perpetrator and Demoscum Presidential candidate Albert A. "Algore" Gore, Junior. So named in dishonor & ridicule of his excuse-for-a-book, "Earth in the Balance" - or, as Rush likes to call it, "Earth in the Lurch".
"The Duchess Hilarious"         Nickname for Hillary Rodham (Shaftem) Clinton, the wicked bi...uh, witch of the West Wing.  Formerly known as "Queen Hilarious"; was demoted upon eviction from the White House... (snicker)
"Uglo, Lady-in-Perpetual-Waiting"         Chelsea. 'Nuff said.
"Georgie-Porgy Snuffleupagus"         The other child of the Clintons - George Stephanopolous.
"Das Klintonreich"         The whole kit-n-kaboodle of 'em - from Der Kaiser to Queen Hilarious, right down to James Carville, Paul Begala, Janet Reno and Greg Craig. They rule as did Hitler in '30s - '40s Germany.
"Simplistic"         A liberal term - Translation: "your idea was excellent, and it's the perfect solution for the problem at hand, but because I'm a liberal and you're a conservative, I'll be damned if I'm going to give you credit."
"SpatulaOp"         Me, the host - the OPerator of SPATULA City BBS
"Spatulaite", "Spatula-ette"         You - my honored guest.  (BBS and Web site only)
"Denizen"         You - my honored guest.   (Blog only)
"Uninitiated"         Those who haven't so much as the slightest clue as to what's going on in my little world; i.e, those who haven't kept up.  If you are either a Spatulaite, Spatulaette or Denizen, this is not you.
"Realm"         The Realm of Reality - Spatula City BBS in its current incarnation as a Web log.
"Backyard"         An area just off the main blog front page where I place large columns and certain other files (for example, this glossary).  I then link to those files on the blog, thus giving you, the Denizen, the opportunity to read them without wasting precious Bogsnot (???) bandwidth.
"Demoscum"         Synonym for "Democrat". Most appropriate.
"Shrub" Synonym for current President George W. Bush.  Sadly, I can't take credit for this one - I have to, grudgingly, give it to (gulp) Molly Ivins.  That is, after I was able to transcribe it from the original manuscript (it's hard to read crayon sometimes)...

(Other synonyms:  Shrubya, Waffleya)

"Damn Bitchards"         Former Texas excuse-for-a-governor Ann Richards. Thinks she's a true Texan only because of her hick accent - "After awwwwl deeeeeeez yeerrrrrrrrs uv liss'nin' t' Jawwrge Buuuush, Ah figgerrd yew neeeed'd t' heeer whut uh reeeeeeeel Tayksunnnn souuunnnd'd laaaahk". Stupid little pseudo-biker-assed trollop...
"Heterophobe" Homosexual.  Sodomite.  Limp-wrist.  Fag (American definition).  Can't take credit for this one, either; props to loyal reader and contributor Alan Henderson.  Memo to the heterophobe community:  Hey, it was your decision to tag us right-thinkers with the moronic term "homophobe", despite any evidence with which to support the claim - you have no right to bitch when we come back with this.  Deal with it.
"Politicianitis"         Medical condition whereby a formerly straight-talking public servant (or, at least, one thought to be straight-talking) is suddenly caught talking out of both sides of his mouth.  One cure for this malady is subsequent removal from office.
"feminoid"         A feminist - female who looks like a real woman, but isn't. Similar to "femiNazi", a term popularized by Rush Limbaugh.
"D'asshole" Tom Daschle.  Need I say more?
"Benedict Jeffords" Jim Jeffords, who threw a hissy fit concerning Bush's victory in '00 and left the Republican Party, thus giving control of the Senate to the Demoscum for two years.  Now he wants to caucus with us again, but only if he can keep his committee chairmanship.  What a colossal asshole...
"Original Cast"         Callers to the original BBS.  And a charter member of the Original Cast is one who called the BBS while it was still based in Fort Worth.  If you can remember the number you dialed to reach my place, that's bonus points. (grin)
"WITY"         Acronym for "What'd I Tell You?".  Used when I'm proven right - again.


This list is by no means complete, as I'm pretty much having to rebuild this list from scratch. I'll add more as they come to mind.