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[SCENE:&#160 Unknown.&#160 A black, empty, seemingly lifeless void in space.

Well, not completely&#160 lifeless.&#160 As we pan (not easy to do, as everything appears black), a prone, hooded figure appears, motionless, on the ground, as if in a spotlight.&#160 (No, we don’t know where the spotlight is coming from – let’s not go there, ‘k?)

After a couple of beats, the figure stirs, groaning in pain that seemingly racks its entire body.]

HOODED FIGURE:&#160 Unnnhhh…uhhhh…damn.&#160 I do&#160 hope someone got the license plate of that battlecruiser…ow.

[The hooded figure rises to a kneeling position, shakes its head a couple of time, then removes the hood to reveal Lord Darth Venomous, who was previously thought to have been killed in the destruction of the ISS Titanic.&#160 He looks left, then right, not seeing much.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 Well, if this is my own personal Nexus, where the hell is Miss CJ Miles and the rest&#160 of my Asian hookers…?

(NOTE TO READERS:&#160 That’s a personal dig at Mrs. Venomous, FYI.&#160 Fortunately, she’s at home and I’m here in this…wherever it is…so she can’t kabong me.&#160 &#160 )

[Some sort of bright light flips on behind Lord Venomous.&#160 He whirls around to look, and blanches.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 What the…oh, shit.

[Not a drop of blood remains in His Rudeness’ face as he reads the sign.]

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VENOMOUS (muttering bitterly):&#160 “Welcome to Hell.&#160 How do&#160 you like it?”

Yes, Denizens.&#160 After years of resisting temptation, I’m now officially on Facebook.&#160 Come find me & friend me.&#160 (Hint:&#160 There are apparently two (I knew&#160 I shoulda trademarked it); I will be the one of Palpatine shooting purple Force lightning.)

Or not, I don’t care.

Thanks for reading the Death of the ISS Titanic&#160 series.&#160 Will have another mini-vignette for you soon.&#160 And some&#160 Klingons & union-types had best&#160 watch their backs…&#160


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3 responses to “Death of the ISS Titanic:&#160 Facebook Hell”

  1. David Hartung says:

    Which account are you using? The one named Darth Venomous, or the one with your more vanilla alter ego who graduated from some podunk high school called Arlington Heights? 🙂 Or maybe you will use them both?

  2. LC Purple Raider says:

    Just remember a certain small college compadre..

  3. or the one with your more vanilla alter ego who graduated from some podunk high school called Arlington Heights?

    I’ll have you know that “podunk high school” went all the way to the state semifinal in basketball this past year!&#160

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