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Denizens, your homework assignment is to read this treatise on this recap of the 9/11 biker rally up in DC PA this week.

PETA Crashes Biker Gathering…

Well, that&#160 was a mistake…&#160

UPDATE:&#160 After a bit of research, I’m believing that this is just a tad apocryphal.&#160 (Shows what I get for not invoking the 48-hour rule.)

What the hell – it’s still a good read.

This edition of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153 begins with…baseball.

MERLIN:&#160 What?

KORRIOTH:&#160 Baseball???

K’HADIBAK’H:&#160 Who are you and what have you done with Lord Venomous?

Relax, guys.&#160 This isn’t so much about not being about football as it is a political mini-rant.

MERLIN:&#160 Oh.&#160 Well, that’s different.

The Tex-ass Strangers, having once again dashed the hopes of its faithful for another year, left Anaheim after delivering a whipping to their locals, 11-3.

But it was one of the after-notes in the article which got me going:

PETA is after Vizquel: Omar Vizquel’s desire to try bullfighting in Venezuela this winter has landed him on PETA’s hit list.

PETA announced Thursday that assistant director Dan Shannon has sent the Rangers’ utility infielder an urgent letter, pleading with him to give up his bullfighting plans and to “please leave animal abuse out of your midlife crisis.”

I beg your fucking pardon, Danielle?&#160 “Leave animal abuse out of your midlife crisis”?&#160 You’re awfully damned brave when no one can find you, aren’t you, Danielle?&#160 Perhaps you’d like to go say that to Mr. Vizquel’s face?&#160 I have a feeling Viz would take a rather dim view of your pussified bleating and be only so happy to go “midlife crisis” on your skanky, swishy ass.

“Participating in cruel and ludicrous activities overseas – activities that are illegal in the U.S. – won’t help Vizquel or the Rangers win over any fans here at home,” Shannon wrote.

I’m sure Vizquel doesn’t give two shits about what’s “illegal in the U.S.” with regards to this, pussy.&#160 But perhaps he could, instead of running swords through bulls in Spain, run those swords through some chickenshit, pansy-assed, sniveling oxygen-wasters posing as PETA directors.&#160 Now, I’d pay money to see that.

On to the PFW.&#160 If it’s Week 5, it must be O.D. Wyatt (Awwk, awwk!) for my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets.&#160 (And I say that because when I went to Heights, Wyatt’s cheerleaders always sounded like a Wendy Williams TV show audience – “Awwk, awwk!!!”.)&#160 Heights defeated the Chaparrals last year, 27-20, so we’ll hope for a second straight win on Saturday.

Turner Gill’s UBuffalo Bulls are at home against Central Michigan – the same Central Michigan that upset Michigan State a couple weeks back.&#160 The Bulls are 8&#189-point dogs in this one, and I tend to think it’ll be a fourth loss in a row for Turner’s boys.

The national marquee game Saturday features 8th-ranked Oklahoma going to Miami to play Randy Shannon’s 17th-ranked Hurricanes.&#160 Shannon has been steadily rebuilding the program down there, and it looks as if they’re primed for another Jimmy Johnson-type run.

What I like about their team – despite my not-so-secret disdain for the program in general – is their quarterback, Jacory Harris.&#160 When you watch him, you notice that, when he makes a big play, he doesn’t do a whole lot of chest-thumping and all of this gangsta-rap bullshit you see in so many players today, both college & pro.&#160 Harris just goes, “okay, next play, let’s go” – as if he realizes that it’s what he’s supposed&#160 to do as quarterback, so what’s the big deal?

OU’s a 7&#189-point road dog here, and I don’t think it’ll be that close.&#160 Bradford’s still out for the game, and all-universe tight end Jermaine Gresham is done for his college career (knee), and that can’t help but hurt.&#160 OU can not&#160 afford to get in a shootout with these guys, and I’m afraid that’s what it’s going to be.

Closer to home, we now explore the concept of the “trap game”, as I promised on Tuesday.&#160 Harken back with me if you will to 2005.&#160 Gary Patterson’s Froggies had just gone up to Norman and beaten the Sooners, had just earned (finally!) respect for the program, and were now in Dallas the next week to take on horrendously-lightly-regarded SMUT.

As you may remember, I felt pretty good about the game.&#160 And those of you who’ve been here for a while know how it turned out.

Well, good for Gary P. – he hasn’t forgotten, either.

The Horned Frogs (No. 10 in USA Today’s coaches’ poll), have been continuously reminded of their loss to SMU after an upset victory over Oklahoma in 2005. But no one needs to remind Patterson of the loss.

“Immediately, in the locker room,” said defensive tackle Cory Grant on how quickly the ’05 loss was brought up after Saturday’s 14-10 win at Clemson. “We knew it was going to happen.”

I positively hate playing teams in their second year under a new head coach, because they start to realize how good they might get.&#160 That the Shitland Ponies have played a couple games this year doesn’t help.&#160 Nevertheless, I like the Frogs to win this one, although it won’t be the 28-point shellacking Vegas thinks it’ll be.

Sunday finds the Dallas Cow-whatever they ares up in Denver to play the Broncos and their irritating fans, who have to celebrate every not-caught pass by the opposition by screaming “IN…COM…PLETE!!!!!!” at the top of their lungs.&#160 Here’s hoping for a squash and Romo going 25-for-25.

We’re back Monday with the recap.&#160 In the meantime, Bucky travels to Minne-ha-ha to play the Golden Gophers in their new stadium (at least, I think&#160 it’s new – it was outdoors) as a 2&#189-point road dog, so I ask HDD:&#160 Does going back outside mean that UMinne-ha-ha loses whatever home-dome advantage it used to have?

Observed today at a local eatery:&#160 A white pickup.&#160 Windows rolled about halfway down.&#160 Evidence strongly suggests that it belonged to a shit-for-brains liberal.&#160 Two things bore this out:

1.&#160 The plethora of PETA-style bumper stickers on the back – everything from “eat vegan” to the old bullshit saw about how “animals are not ours to eat as food, test, have as pets”, etc, to the bitching about animal abuse, all that stuff.&#160 And –

2.&#160 The sheer hypocrisy demonstrated…by the terrier mix in the cab of the unattended pickup.

(Fortunately, it wasn’t all that hot today, and there was a cloud cover.&#160 A call to Animal Control yielded the opinion that the dog was probably okay, given the circumstance.)

And the animal-rights terrorist bastards wonder why they’re not taken seriously…

Meryl Yourish reminds us that today is EATAPETA (Eat A Tasty Animal for PETA) day.

To that end, I’ll be at the Hooters in Plano (north of Plano Pkwy on the US 75 frontage road) to celebrate with chili & wings sometime during the traditional lunch hour, or maybe shortly thereafter.

Memo to Denizen and fellow blogger Alan K. Henderson:&#160 If you plan on showing up, lemme know.

Thatisall&#153.

Denizens, how many stories have we heard about how the rat bastards at PETA gather at, say, Needless Markups or some other high-falutin’ department store to throw paint on shoppers who committed the cardinal sin of wearing fur coats around the holier-than-thou?&#160 How they bitch & moan at those of us who dare&#160 to eat at KFC?&#160 Remember?

Well, isn’t this&#160 a fine howdoyoudo&#153?&#160 PotKettleBlack&#153 much, PETA?

Two Hampton Roads employees of Norfolk-based People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have been charged in Ahoskie, N.C., with animal cruelty after dumping dead dogs and cats in a shopping center garbage bin, police said Thursday.

Investigators staked out the bin after discovering that dead animals had been dumped there every Wednesday for the past four weeks, Ahoskie police said in a prepared statement.

Police found 18 dead animals in the trash bin and 13 more in a van registered to PETA. The animals were from animal shelters in Northampton and Bertie counties in North Carolina, police said. The two were picking up animals to be brought back to PETA headquarters for euthanization, PETA president Ingrid Newkirk said Thursday.

Neither police nor PETA offered any theory on why the animals might have been dumped.

Oh, I&#160 can tell you why.&#160 PETA is the biggest bunch of do-as-we-say-not-as-we-do asshelmets since…well, since the last group of liberal fucktards who came along purporting to tell us right-thinkers how the cow eats the cabbage.&#160 For all their bleating, PETA is a bunch of sanctimonious hypocrites.

Local officials and veterinarians said they were told that PETA would find homes for the animals, not euthanize them. PETA has scheduled a news conference for Friday afternoon to discuss the charges.

Oh, what I wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall for that.&#160 Think someone will come with a can of red paint? (snicker)

Police charged Andrew Benjamin Cook, 24, of Virginia Beach, and Adria Joy Hinkle, 27, of Norfolk,each with 31 felony counts of animal cruelty and eight misdemeanor counts of illegal disposal of dead animals. They were released on bond and an initial court date was set for Friday in Winton.

Hinkle has been suspended, but Cook continues to work PETA, Newkirk said. Hinkle has worked for more than two years as one of its community animal project employees in North Carolina, PETA spokeswoman Colleen O’Brien said. Cook, who joined a couple of months ago, was being trained.

Newkirk said she doubted Hinkle had ever been cruel to an animal and said if the animals were placed in the bin, “We will be appalled.”

YeahRightWhatever&#153, as the SpatulaGoddess has been known to say.

You’ll be nothing of the sort, Newkirk, baby.&#160 You’ll pretend-wring your hands in pretend-angst while you pretend-denounce the actions of these pretend-humans.

Then you’ll go have your brie and merlot at the latest fund-raiser/Republican-basher du jour.&#160 You think we haven’t figured your skanky asses out by now?

Morons…

We’re an eccentric lot here in Texas.&#160 Y’see, we don’t take kindly to weirdos telling us how to run our lives…especially when it comes to what we eat.

We’re meat-and-potatoes, fried chicken-and-hamburgers types down here, and when some tofu-munching, rice-burner-driving asshelmets like PETA try to barge in and tell us that the cow eating the cabbage is sacred and shouldn’t be our dinner…well, that doesn’t set well with us.

So when *spit* PETA *spit* decided to protest at a KFC in Brownsville, they probably shouldn’t have been too surprised at the reception they received…

A trio of protesters with People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals didn’t find the welcome mat out when they stopped at a KFC in Brownsville on Wednesday. The sprinkler system was on for them, though.

John Olivo, the manager of the fast-food chicken restaurant, turned the system on full blast to soak the curbside protesters. And a man who eats beef followed them around with his stepchildren and a microphone.

“Hey hey, ho ho, PETA fucktards got to go, hey hey, ho ho…”

The PETA protesters, including one in a chicken suit, are participating in PETA’s campaign to get KFC to pressure slaughter houses to use more humane methods to kill chickens.

Oh, I can see it now:&#160 Lethal injection for the omelette-makers, ayup…

“They already hit me in McAllen,” Olivo said in a story in Thursday’s editions of The Brownsville Herald. “I was already waiting for them here in Brownsville.”

Hey, if dumbasses were trying to negatively impact your&#160 business, what would you&#160 do?

“You’re not going to win. Not in Brownsville,” David Ingersoll, of Los Fresnos, shouted through his microphone at the protesters at a busy intersection. His stepchildren passed out anti-PETA pamphlets to stopped drivers.

“I’m waiting for someone to throw a cabrito head at them so they know what part of the country they are in,” Ingersoll said, referring to the goat meat that’s used in some Mexican dishes.

This is my kind of guy:&#160 Stands up to the morons and let them know that their bitching isn’t going to be taken sitting down.&#160 Those stepchil’lun have themselves a good stepdad.

The PETA members didn’t give up on their message.

“It hasn’t been quite like this in other parts of the state,” said Chris Link, PETA’s campaign coordinator, who is traveling to protest KFC in 12 Texas cities.

Come to Dallas.&#160 We can fix that…

Link said the group didn’t receive harsh treatment earlier in McAllen.

“It’s a rarity that we get this,” he said after the dousing.

I’d start wearing the raincoats if I were you, fuckhead.

Then again, it’s a shame your daddy didn’t wear a “raincoat”, if you know what I mean…