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If the Core Teams&#153 are gonna suck like this, I gotta wonder why I keep doing this.

Arlington Heights 56, Western Hills 17

at TCU 7, TU Shortdicks 30

Liberty 24, at Gardner-Webb 0

at #4 Ohio State 63, Penn State 14

Dallas 30, at Detroit 31

A playoff spot.

After playing like shit the first four weeks of the season, Phillip Young’s Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets…have secured a playoff spot.

Quarterback Deion Hair-Griffin accounted for 312 total yards, including 123 rushing, and three passing touchdowns, and running back Kameron Hill rushed for three touchdowns.

“After the first win, we told them, we’ve got to practice like a playoff team,” said coach Phil Young, whose team improved to 4-4 and 4-1 in 7-4A. “That’s been our motto. Now we feel like we’re a playoff team.”

Nicely done, Phil.&#160 Nicely done.

Same song, fifth verse.&#160 Frogs get in a hole, spend the rest of the game scrambling to get out, and fail miserably.

Patterson’s let his program get away from him.&#160 Time to hire someone to get it back under control.

Take my comments from Cowboy-Ram, and apply them here.

And after mentioning about Turner Gill’s need for a defense, I’m beginning to wonder if he’s reading me.

Turner Gill…a Denizen?&#160 Stranger things have&#160 happened.

You can’t fault Romo for this one.

And while you could&#160 fault the defense, you have to consider that there were backups of backups&#160 out there, particularly for the final drive.&#160 Scream at Owner Jethro if you must, but when starters get hurt, backups have to play.&#160 And there’s a reason they’re backups.

It pissed me off for the ‘Girlz to lose, sure.&#160 But I’m not sure what could’ve been done about it.

And now, the game that scored me yet another Perfect Football Weekend&#153 – Penn State (hack, spit)&#160 getting the expected ass-whipping.

Ohio State was looking for a lopsided win to impress the voters and boost its BCS numbers. The Buckeyes made Penn State pay the price.

Braxton Miller passed for three touchdowns and ran for two and Carlos Hyde rushed for 147 yards and two more scores to lead the fourth-ranked Buckeyes to a 63-14 victory over Penn State on Saturday night.

“We’ve got to keep our foot to the pedal,” said Miller, who completed 18-of-24 passes for a career-best 252 yards before leaving in the third quarter.

It was the most points surrendered by Penn State (4-3, 1-2 Big Ten) and its worst beating in 114 years.

Music to my ears – especially after the Core Teams&#153 (Heights, TCU, Cowgirlz) go one-for-three.

This week:&#160 3-2.&#160 Perfect Football Weekend&#153 achieved (5).&#160 Overall:&#160 23-21

Next PFW will be in a couple of weeks, as Realm Headquarters&#153 is doing a little bugging out for points north (translation:&#160 we’re moving).&#160 Not far, you understand – but I’m about to take the network down here, and so will be a little incommunicado for a few days.

Vicar, General – you guys have the conn.


How can this possibly make sense? If I read this correctly, all this law does is places the same requirements on abortion providers as are levied on the rest of the medical community.



Okay, Denizens, since everyone else in the world, their dog, and its fleas has weighed in on The Big Hah Skrewl (a little Rush lingo, there) Football Controversy&#153…(sigh)…I s’pose I can, too.

And by The Big Hah Skrewl (a little Rush lingo, there) Football Controversy&#153…I’m talking about Aledo-Fort Worth Western Hills.&#160 IOW, the big 91-0 shellacking of the Cougars by the Bearcats.

Some Western Hills soccer mom helicopter mom Stupid Cunt&#153 of a parent actually went so far as to file a formal bullying complaint against the Bearcat football team – a complaint that was eventually found to be utterly baseless.

A copy of the complaint obtained by The Associated Press quoted a parent, whose name was redacted by the Aledo school district, who said: “we all witnessed bullying firsthand.”

“Picking up my son from the fieldhouse after the game and taking him home was tough,” the complaint read. “I did not know what to say to my son on the ride home to explain the behavior of the aledo (sic) coaches for not easing up when the game was in hand.”

Except, you dumb-assed bitch, that’s exactly what Buchanan did – he started taking his starters out after only 21 plays.&#160 Would it have made you any happier, trollop, had he left them in and ran up 150 points on the Cougars?&#160 Because I guaran-damn-tee you he could have, very easily.

Listen, it’s not like I don’t know where you’re coming from – both OD Wyatt and my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets got completly blown away by the Bearcats, both by an identical score of 84-7.&#160 You think that makes me&#160 happy to hear of it?&#160 And I don’t even have a kid going there.

But at least I’m man enough to just let it go, and realize that Aledo could give several major college teams a run for their money.

On to the football.&#160 Speaking of my Jackets, they whipped up on the aforementioned Cougars last night, 56-17 – in fact, since that Aledo beatdown, they themselves have averaged over 51 points a game.&#160 Guess they weren’t as bad as I’d first thought (though Paschal still pisses me off).

Tomorrow, the TU Shortdicks Longhorns Shortdicks come a-calling on Gary Patterson’s TCU Horned Frogs.&#160 TCU’s a two-point home favorite according to Vegas, so that means they expect TU to win it on a last-second field goal.

Casey Pachall will likely make his return, but he’ll be facing a defense that can get to the quarterback – and Pachall ain’t exactly Usain Bolt.&#160 This one makes me nervous.

Also Saturday, Turner Gill gets to face the Gardner-Webb Runnin’ Bulldogs again.&#160 Problem is, this time he has to face them with the Liberty Flames, instead of with the UBeefalo Bulls.

On the other hand, G-W got trounced by the same Coastal Carolina squad that barely squeaked by the Flames last week in OT, so no SpatulaLine&#153 here.

Sunday, it’ll be the Battle Of The Men Amongst Boys&#153, as Dez Bryant & the Dallas C’boyz travel up to Detroit to take on the Lions & Calvin “Megatron” Johnson.&#160 I like Detroit in this one simply because 1) they’re at home, and 2) they have Ndomakong Suh & Nick Fairley in the defensive line.

Houston doesn’t play this weekend, so we’ll plug in another college game – and one, I might add, that’ll give me yet another PFW.

And I say this, because the game is Penn State (*hack, spit!) is going to Columbus to take on Urban Meyer and the fourth-ranked Ohio State Buckeyes.

Does anyone seriously&#160 think the Nittany Pussies have a chance?&#160

We’re back Monday or so for the recap.


Just had an exchange on Facebook  with a lady from Texas who believes that Wendy Davis is going to be the next governor. As both of you are based in Texas, what are your assessments?


Denizens, maybe tonight I’ll have a football story on which to rant.&#160 Right now, there’s not time to do diddly-squat.

For now, we have Arlington Heights-Western Hills (I’ll take Heights, you can have Hills & 6, based on common games vs. Aledo (/snark)); TCU hosts the TU Shortdicks; Liberty is at Gardner-Webb; Dallas is at Detroit, and Houston is guaranteed not to lose this week – for the obvious reason.

Recap’s Monday or so; I’ll have more tonight.


Katy Perry’s Firework&#160 really does&#160 sound like fingernails on chalkboard.


Denizens, as you may (or may not) know, I’ve pretty much eschewed Halloween for several years now.&#160 Yeah, giving kiddies candy ‘n treats ‘n stuff is all cool ‘n all (when they bother even showing up) – but I’ve been fairly down on the goblins & spooks and general darkness&#160 October Thirty-Oneth has turned into in recent years.

That said…Great Honkin’ Cthulhu, check out this costume:

It’s been a heck of a day for bizarre and captivating Halloween costumes. But the first prize definitely goes to California photographer Royce Hutain who designed a LED Halloween costume for his daughter that created a startling effect in which the toddler appears to be an animated stick figure.

“She is 22 months old and loves wearing the suit,” Hutain writes on his YouTube page. “I’ll be uploading a video of her in different locations running around and doing her usual funny stuff.”

Is that effin’ cool, or what?


Fox News’ Juan Williams said earlier today that it’s Republicans’ fault that the Bambicare websites utterly failed like they did.

Yes, he really said that.

Yes, he really said that.

He also said that two-thirds of Americans want Republicans to ease up on criticizing Bambi & the Demoscum.

Why the hell&#160 did Roger Ailes ever think it was a good idea to bring this asshat aboard?


The future is Case Keenum.

Okay, Houston – you can stay.

Arlington Heights 54, OD Wyatt 21

TCU 10, at #21 Oklahoma State 24

#15 Georgia 27, at Vanderbilt 31

at Liberty 52, Coastal Carolina 55 (OT)

Houston 16, at Kansas City 17

Dallas 17, at Phuckadelphia 3

Yes, I’ll grant you that they’ll never do this against Aledo, or Granbury, or probabaly even Southwest.

That said, if they can do this against the rest of Fort Worth, I’ll take it.

When Javonte Adams took the first play from scrimmage 76 yards for a Fort Worth Wyatt touchdown, the Chaparrals thought they were putting last week’s 74-point loss to Aledo behind them.

But that didn’t last long.

Fort Worth Arlington Heights scored on its third play from scrimmage and never looked back in a 54-21 rout Friday night at Farrington Field.

Another day, another pathetic performance by Trevone Boykin.

Three more picks thrown by Boykin, to whom I’m now going to refer as The Imposter&#153 – because he’s a poser at quarterback.

Yet another scoreless first half – the worst offensive showing since the Mike Schultz days.

And Gary Patterson is truly in over his head now.&#160 A decent enough minor conference coach, he’s now proven he can’t consistenly win against the big boys.&#160 Put me down once again for favoring his immediate termination.

Liberty took Coastal to overtime before succumbing.&#160 Progress.

Turner Gill still needs to find himself either some defensive talent, or a better defensive coach.

Zebras handed Vanderbilt two half-assed personal foul/targeting penalties that led directly to 14 points.

Georgia lost by four.&#160 You do the math.

That said…the Dawgs fucked themselves over.&#160 A dropped punt snap that led directly to the winning touchdown.&#160 A fumble off a pass reception on Georgia’s final drive.&#160 Letting a fucking redshirt freshman&#160 beat their defense.

Sorry, Georgia.&#160 You’re out of the PFW.

The future of Houston Texan football has arrived.&#160 And much the same way that Romo supplanted Bledsoe when it became apparent that Bledsoe couldn’t do the job any longer, Schaub’s injury has given Gary Kubiak the excuse he needs to begin the Keenum Era.

And if they play like they did against KC, this era will last a while.

Every once in a while, the opposing team’s quarterback can&#160 such worse than El Choko.

Such was the case Sunday.&#160 Ol’ “Woof!” was out, so the Beagles had to go with Nick Foles (who left the game with a concussion in the third) and Widdle Mattie Barkley.&#160 Who promptly threw the Cowboy defense three picks to seal the win.

Romo was okay – he threw for 300+, a touchdown to Terrence Williams, and a pick that likely wasn’t his fault – but at least he didn’t lose the game for Dallas, and that, sometimes, is all we ask for.

I could declare an Executive Fiat&#153, based solely on the fact that Ole Miss thumped Lousy-ana State – but I’ll hold off for now.

Besides, Liberty stayed within the SpatulaLine&#153, so it counts for me.

This week:&#160 3-3.&#160 Overall:&#160 20-19.

The PFW returns Thursday, when we explain why Arlington Heights is 14 points better than Western Hills.


My apologies this morning, Denizens, for not posting this yesterday.&#160 Wasn’t time yesterday morning, and (as usual) once my avoirdupois ass hit the chair last night…zzzzzzz.

Anyway, I had promised that I was going to talk about Bob Costas and the “Redskins” controversy.&#160 And may do that in the next couple of days, if there’s time.

But there isn’t right now, so let’s hit the football.&#160 Arlington Heights trampled OD Wyatt last night, 54-21 (dammit, where was this group against Paschal?), so that’s one for me.

Today, TCU is at 21st-ranked Okie State (for the second straight year – grrrrr), and OSU is a 7&#189-point favorite; they should cover easily.

15th-ranked Georgia is a Vanderbilt today – and if the Dawgs know what’s good for ’em, they’ll more than cover their own 7-point spread.

Liberty hosts Coastal Carolina in a Big South matchup – and, given how CC manhandled the Flames last year, the SpatulaLine&#153 is set at 50.

Houston…well, I know I shouldn’t do this, but since they tapped Case Keenum to start at Kansas Shitty (fuck you, Fatassed Andy Reid, you had no business beating Dallas), they’re back in the PFW this week, even though they’ll likely get their heads handed to them.

As for the Cowboys, they’re up in Phuckadelphia this week, where Mikey “Woof!” Vick is going to take a back seat to Nick Foles, who will probably shred the Girlz’ secondary a la&#160 Peyton Manning.

We’re back Monday for the recap.&#160 Now, if you’ll excuse me…I have to go work up a rant for Widdle Roberta Costas…


NFL coaching legend for the Houston Oilers and New Orleans Saints, Bum Phillips, passed away Friday at age 90.

Prayers and condolences go out to his family, especially the six children including son Wade Phillips.

The rain and colder weather here at the Southern Command add a certain exclamation point to this sullen time. You will be missed Coach Phillips!


Seems that the cupid stunts over at Moron.org have clamored up something possibly resembling a set of soap-bubble cajones and are pushing forth this petition.

An online petition posted this week to Moron.org (edited for clarification – SGR) calling for President Barack Obama to “arrest and try House GOP leadership for sedition” has generated thousands of signatures.

Well, if you spineless weasels insist on going there then you best be watching your own bulbous backsides cause that just opens the floor! I had a worthy retort all lined up and ready to go, but I found this already penned.

I could not care less if they arrest Boehner and Cantor. But, that will not solve the problem. By these pigs saying ‘arrest GOP’, that is like saying; “Arrest ALL Republicans” I told you this would happen and it is.

The fact remains that the only person who needs to be arrested for treason and sedition is Barack Hussein Obama, born in Kenya-his father not legit, making HIM not our president…

Yup, that is it in a nutshell denizens. And don’t forget, Al-Obambi has more than TRIPLED our national debt in just over fieve years to where now it is about to go over $17T. Folks, that “T” for TRILLION. As in the number seventeen followed by TWELVE zeroes, aka 17,000,000,000,000.00. That fact alone is enough to call for treason proceedings in my book. Then add in all of the scandals like Benghazi, EPA, IRS, NSA, Fannie, Freddie, the Gaffmaster, and the flat out lies and utterly complete contempt for the US Constitution by the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, you get to the same conclusion rather quickly and easily as well. Not to mention, Al-Obambi is still actively trying to cram the so-called “Affordable” Care Act on us and all the while still not listening to WE THE PEOPLE when we say HELL NO!

Deniznes, the call for action has gone out time and time again. This time though, more are responding…like those from “The Greatest Generation”, our WWII veterans. Men and women who understand the difference between right and wrong, and what true justice looks like. Stay vigilant.



Item:&#160 Bambi today blamed the recent partial governmental shutdown&#160 on “meddling bloggers and ‘activists who profit from conflict’”.

Reaction:&#160 Where’s my paycheck?


I really have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand I never really expected this to end any other way than the way that it has, but at the same time the eternal optimist in me keeps hoping that our elected leaders will see the handwriting on the wall and actually fix our fiscal house. More and more I fear that the day when our entire government and society implodes is not far off.


Y’know, when I added Houston to the PFW, I should have realized that Wade Phillips was a coach on a staff of a team that was starting a backup quarterback.

And didn’t I just leave that party?

Arlington Heights 40, South Hills 16

at TCU 27, Kansas 17

at #7 Georgia 26, #25 Missouri 41

#12 Oklahoma 20, TU Shortdicks 36 (at Dallas)

at Houston 13, St. Louis 38

at Dallas 31, Washington REDSKINS!!!!!! 16

(Incidentally, guys, I didn’t mention that Liberty didn’t play this weekend.&#160 My bad.)

This Deion Hair’Griffin seems to be a find for Phil Young’s Yellow Jackets.

Hair-Griffin completed 14 of 22 passes for 234 yards, including a 20-yard touchdown pass to Davon Davis on the opening drive of the game. Hair-Griffin also ran for two touchdowns, a 1-yard sneak and a 35-yard scamper that put the Yellow Jackets (2-4 overall, 2-1 District 7-4A) up 20-10 heading into halftime.

And he’s only a sophomore.&#160 Hmmmm.

What I Tell Ya&#153 about TCU playing down to its competition?

Boykin throws two more picks, one a pick-six, and the score is tied 10-all at the half.&#160 Fortunately, David Porter bailed Boykin out with a 76-yard catch-and-score on the first play of the second half, and TCU’s defense stiffened just enough to allow the Frogs to pull away somewhat (though they still didn’t cover).

Clearly, Griffin’s been rushed back (he got no preseason work at all), and the rust is clearly there.

But the story of this game was Dwayne Harris.&#160 222 return yards (more than the entire Cowgirl offense), one return for a score and another 90-yarder setting up a Romo-to-Terrence Williams TD catch, pretty much made the difference in the game.

And this time, though Griffin passed for over 300 yards, he didn’t shred Dallas’ defense like the last two times.&#160 (Of course, having a healthy Sean Lee & Bruce Carter helped some.)&#160 Guess America’s Darling&#153 is human, after all.&#160

Georgia?&#160 You let this&#160 mongrel beat you at home?

Say so long to any BCS aspirations, boys.

This, people.&#160 This is why I threw Oklahoma out of the PFW last year:&#160 The inability to win a big game that they should have fucking won.

[Case] McCoy threw two touchdowns, 295-pound defensive tackle Chris Whaley returned an interception 31 yards for a score and the Longhorns (4-2, 3-0 Big 12) ended Oklahoma’s three-game winning streak in the rivalry to give Brown at least a temporary reprieve from all the gloomy talk about his future with the Longhorns.

That’s what happens when you choke, Bobby Stoops.&#160 And I’m starting to thing there’s something fishy about the TCU game, as well.&#160 Again.

They cheered Matt Schaub when he injured his ankle.&#160 Because&#160 he injured it.

With respect to the General…that’s Pew-stun for you.

TJ Yates threw a pick-six, keeping that streak alive at five games.&#160 Coach Stay-Puf’s defense couldn’t stop a baa-baa sheep offense.

The General has made lots of noise about rookie Case Keenum taking over as the starter.

With the Tex-annes’ season plinking into the toilet, I tend to agree.&#160 Keenum gained a college rep as a passer extraordinaire&#160 at the U. of…well, whaddya know…Houston.&#160 So he’s already the most popular man in the city.&#160 And they did run an NFL-style offense in Cougarland.&#160 Why not throw him in & let him see what he can do?

But until they do, I’m done with ’em.&#160 Houston…you’re out of the PFW.

Nevertheless, because it’s the first time Dallas has beaten the Second Coming&#153, it’s an Executive Fiat&#153 type of weekend.

This week:&#160 3-3.&#160 Perfect Football Weekend achieved (4).&#160 Overall:&#160 17-16.

The PFW will return Friday.&#160 And I don’t know what I’m gonna talk about yet (*coughBobCostasthefuckingpussycough*)…but I’ll think of something.


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