Welcome to the Realm™ - Version 5.0...

ITEM:&#160 Demoscummic goober-natorial candy-ass-date Wee Willie White thinks term limits for the office of Texas governor is a hell of an idea.

Democratic gubernatorial candidate Bill White said Tuesday that Texas governors should be limited to two four-year terms, a change he said would prevent incumbents from amassing too much power.

White is trying to unseat Republican Gov. Rick Perry, who’s seeking an unprecedented third full four-year term in the Nov. 2 election.

White, the former Houston mayor, said there should be a voter referendum on term limits and that he favors a proposed constitutional amendment that would have to be approved by voters.

One may make an educated guess that this is all because Wee Willie isn’t going to be able to unseat Rick Perry in November.

Because, Denizens, this is the same, exact Wee Willie White that also wanted to relax term limits for Houston’s mayor – if not remove them outright.

Mayor Bill White on Wednesday raised the specter of changing the term limits on Houston elected officials, urging City Council members to consider appointing a special commission to examine whether the restriction to three, two-year terms imposed by voters in 1991 has been too stringent.

Term limits are fine for Republicans.&#160 For Demoscum – not so much.

Doesn’t this kinda remind you of the fracas up in Massa-chews-shits whereby the Demoscum-controlled state legislature passed a bill to remove the power of a governor to appoint an interim rep or senator for some poor schmoe who had just bit the bucket while in office, in order to keep then-governor Mitt Romney from appointing a Republican to replace a departed Democrat?&#160 Then voted to reinstate said power for Duval Patrick so that he could appoint a Demoscum to fill in for Teddy “The Swimmer” Kennedy?

The Will Of The People&#153:&#160 Void where Demoscum have anything resembling a say in how things are run.

Wee Willie White, you are a pathetic ass.


You heard it here first.&#160 The C’girls are going nowhere&#160 this year.

Dallas 7, at P-U-Stun 16, Fucking Needle-dicked Officiating 7

Sorry, didn’t see enough of any other game this weekend to give much of a recap.

The shitty officiating gets 7 because they took away a turnover from Dallas on a Demarcus Ware sack/fumble when the fucking zebra called defensive holding (it wasn’t – not even close).&#160 The Tex-annes scored on the next fucking play.

Not that it mattered.&#160 The offense was a no-show, as usual, but the defense simply allowed Matilda Schaub – who, it must be noted, would still be Michael Vick’s backup&#160 in another reality – to play pitch-and-catch with Andrea Johnson, Mykki Walter and Jackoff Jones.&#160 The fucking secondary offered only the barest hint&#160 of resistance, allowing all three douchebags to run free all night.&#160 The run defense, long considered a strength of this team, allowed a no-name back named Ariana Foster to gash them for 110 yards.

When Romo wasn’t running for his life behind a patchwork offensive line, he was pitching to Felix Jones – which might have worked, except Jonsey was expecting a handoff.&#160 Sixty-three yards the other way later…

Coach Stay-Puf says he’s gonna work the starters some in the Miami game on Thursday, whereas he might not have otherwise.&#160 Probably oughta work the entire fucking game, if you ask me.

So Thursday is when the PFW will return – and, as my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets and the colleges get cranked up this weekend, so will we.

They count beginning next week.&#160 Be here.


Denizens, I don’t much feel like writing today (surprise, surprise, after that POS effort by the C’Girls in P-U-Stun), so your homework assignment is to read this treatise by Cap’n John Doe.

I used to be able to write that good.&#160 Wish I still had time to.


There will be NO&#160 communiques from the Southern Command&#153 of any&#160 type for at least the next three weeks.

I trust I make myself clear.


Got a solicitation letter from the National Association for Gun Rights (NAGR) this morning…

He’s at it again.

I’ve told you to beware of an Obama sneak attack, and here it comes.

In the face a tough election year, Barack Obama and the anti-gunners are willing to do ANYTHING to infringe upon your right to keep and bear arms.

Right now, Barack Obama has teamed up with liberal special interest groups to use the un-elected bureaucrats in the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) to ban all traditional forms of ammunition.

That’s right, Obama and his cronies are trying to ban ALL your ammo.

By using the Toxic Substance Control Act of 1976, they want to ban all hunting, target and self-defense ammo that contains lead, no matter how little.

Make no mistake — this is gun control at its worst.

Since your actions have stopped their plans to pass ammo and gun bans so far in congress, they’re using the old end-run.

Obama and his anti-gun cronies in the EPA know that by banning all but the most expensive ammo, they’ve effectively banned your guns in all but name.

Blah blah blah, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.&#160 Whereupon, at the end of things, they ask me to sign this petition and possibly send them some $$$$.

Don’t get me wrong.&#160 I’m as pro-Second Amendment as they come – in fact, I just took a class this week to re-upp my CHL (which should scare libtards no end).&#160 So normally I would have no problem ginning up some outrage over the whole schlemiel.

Except for…well, except for this.

In a swift and unexpected decision, the Environmental Protection Agency today rejected a petition from environmental groups to ban the use of lead in bullets and shotgun shells, claiming it doesn’t have jurisdiction to weigh on the controversial Second Amendment issue. The decision came just hours after the Drudge Report posted stories from Washington Whispers and the Weekly Standard about how gun groups were fighting the lead bullet ban.

The EPA had planned to solicit public responses to the petition for two months, but this afternoon issued a statement rejecting a 100-page request from the Center for Biological Diversity, the American Bird Conservancy, and three other groups for a ban on lead bullets, shot, and fishing sinkers. The agency is still considering what to do about sinkers.

The decision was a huge victory for the National Rifle Association which just seven days ago asked that the EPA reject the petition, suggesting that it was a back door attempt to limit hunting and impose gun control. It also was a politically savvy move to take gun control off the table as the Democrats ready for a very difficult midterm election.

Methinks someone at NAGR is Sorta Kinda Maybe&#153 asleep at the switch, y’know?

Memo to the NAGR:&#160 C’mon, guys.&#160 Arise from thine slumber and get some coffee in thine nostrils.&#160 In Other Words&#153, guys, PAY SOME FUCKING ATTENTION!!!!!



For this episode of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153, Denizens, I’m going to take the expected potshot at the fans of the Texas University Shortdicks Longhorns Shortdicks.

Hey, T-sips!&#160 Yeah, you pinky-extended-from-the-teacup, limp-wristed, needle-dicked, give-us-back-our-one-second-on-the-clock douchebags!

Remember, Colt McCoy?&#160 Yeah, that overhyped, overrated, under-talented third-round draft choice&#160 that you faggots were absolutely certain&#160 could have beaten Alabama’s top-ranked defense if only&#160 he hadn’t gotten tapped on the shoulder and pinchy-ed hisself a nerve!

Yeah, that&#160 one.

Turns out that Bwad’s Widdle Boy&#153…is probably not even going to be good enough to crack the Cleveland Browns’ roster.

McCoy was taken in the 3rd round of last April’s NFL Draft, but according to quotes from Browns coach Eric Mangini, his spot is far from guaranteed on the Browns’ active roster this fall.

“I’ve kept four as a head coach and have been on teams that have kept four as an assistant coach. I have also been on [teams that only kept] two,” Mangini said, according to ProFootballTalk.com.

Earlier this week, the Cleveland Plain Dealer’s Tony Grossi listed McCoy among the members of the Browns who “need good showings in the last two games to make the roster.”.

The Browns’ top two spots seem cemented, with newly acquired Jake Delhomme pencilled in as the starter and Seneca Wallace a clear choice for the No. 2 QB.

Y’hear that, T-sips?&#160 That’d be Seneca Wallace…of freakin’ Iowa State.



Perennial Big XII One Less Than Eleven&#153 doormat.

Your football ghod&#160 can’t even beat out Seneca freakin’ Wallace&#160 for the number two spot.

Meanwhile, remember Sam Bradford?&#160 Former OU quarterback and number-one draft pick of the St. Louis Rams?&#160 The guy you swore up & down couldn’t carry Colt’s!!!!!&#160 fuckin’ jock?

Tore up the Patriots the other day.

QB Sam Bradford didn’t look like a rookie. In fact, you couldn’t tell that he wasn’t a veteran by the way he played — a complete departure from his first two outings. He played with tremendous poise and threw with outstanding accuracy.

While his offensive line deserves a lot of credit, Bradford did a great job of throwing with timing and anticipation, two traits that even the best quarterbacks don’t display.

You never want to read too much into any preseason game, but Bradford was simply terrific. You can see clearly why they drafted him. He has a great feel for the passing game. He basically defeated New England’s pass rush by getting the ball out of his hands quickly.

Eh, what say you, T-sips?


Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Oh, and one other thing:&#160 Not quite as easy&#160 for ol’ Colt when he doesn’t have seventh-year pro&#160 Jordan Shitty Shipley bailing out his ass, is it now?

Let’s go to the PFW.&#160 It’s Cowboys-Pewstun Saturday night for something called the Governor’s Cup, which I think is a moldy old clay pot somewhere in Lwaxanna Troi’s closet.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Uh, that would be the Sacred Chalice of Riix&#153, m’lord.

Whatever.&#160 Anyway, it’s the so-called “dress rehersal” game, and it happens to involve two of the three major hubs of the Realm, namely us and the Southern Command.&#160 Supreme General Rayegun, would you care to make anything resembling a wager on the outcome? Perhaps wings or somethin’?

We’re back Monday for the recap.&#160 As has usually been the case this preseason, if there are any other games I happen to catch more than a glimpse of, I’ll chronicle ’em here.

In the meantime, the floor is open for all trash talk.


Item:&#160 Former House Speaker and Texas congressman Tom DeLay was cleared by the Justice Department the other day on corruption charges.

Tom DeLay, the former Republican speaker of the House of Representatives, said on Monday that he had been cleared by the Justice Department in its long-running political corruption probe.


DeLay resigned from Congress in 2006 amid questions about his ties to Abramoff and after he was indicted in his home state of Texas for alleged campaign finance violations, charges he is still fighting.

Two of his former aides pleaded guilty in the Abramoff scandal as did former Republican Representative Bob Ney, who admitted he illegally accepted trips, meals, concert tickets and other valuable items in exchange for official acts on behalf of Abramoff and his clients.

“It was good news to hear from the Department of Justice that I have been cleared,” DeLay told reporters during a conference call. “I always knew this day would come; my only hope was that it would come much sooner.”

Item:&#160 The New York Slimes&#160 twisted its panties in a knot over the news:

The Justice Department decided last week not to bring charges against Tom DeLay, whose unethical conduct represented a modern low among Congressional leaders. The decision is a reminder that some of Washington’s worst big-money practices remain either legal or far too difficult to prosecute.

(Side note:&#160 Hey, Slimes?&#160 Two words:&#160 1) Clinton.&#160 2) China.&#160 Show a little angst & hand-wringing over that, and we’ll talk.)

Item:&#160 Darleen Click over at Protein Wisdom&#160 made note of this, but then couldn’t resist getting in a shot of her own:

Whatever one might think of DeLay’s ethical issues, and they are legion, the NYTimes again shows that when it comes controlling the micro actions of everyday living, no one wants it more or demands it more through legislation than the Left.

Uh, ex-squeeze me?&#160 Baking powder?

“And they are legion”?

Uh, Darleen, I’m pretty sure the trackback will never make it over there, but I’m a little confused.

Perhaps you could explain, in your infinite&#160 (cough) wisdom, to exactly which&#160 “ethical issues” DeLay has to which you object…?

I seem to remember that Mr. DeLay was an excellent Speaker, managing to push through a conservative agenda through the first Bush term, and was only forced to resign using a Republican House rule that (surprise, surprise!) never has managed to keep a Demoscummic Speaker of the House from serving.&#160 (Jim Wright, the Sleazer of the House, for one.)

I’ll just be sitting over here in the corner with my copy of the Federation-Shelliak peace treaty while you manage to sift through your notes and enlighten&#160 us all as to what, exactly, DeLay actually did to earn the wrath of a saint&#160 such as yourself.

For some reason, I imagine I’ll be waiting a while.


This team has problems.

Dallas 16, at San Diego 14

Pittsburgh 24, at NY Football Douchebags 17

The D-bags should be very good up front.&#160 And very average in the secondary.

Bennie “Ididn’tdoitnobodysawmedoityoucan’tproveanything” Rothelisberger got his feet wet – 6-8 for 76 and a pick – but Byron “Statue” Leftwich torched the NY secondary for a 68-yard bomb to Mike Wallace for a score, part of an 80-yard night for him.

Yeah, it’s preaseason.&#160 Yeah, they’re banged up.&#160 Yeah, it’s a vanilla game plan.

Jimmy’s C’boys used to take the attitude of “You know what’s coming – try and stop it”.&#160 (Worked, too, as I recall.)

The ‘Boys had one decent drive by the first unit, and one good drive by Kitna and the scrubbies (including a good series by Martellus Bennett, whom I didn’t think would play), plus a safety on a sack/fumble in the end zone in the fourth quarter.

Defense is gonna have&#160 to carry this bunch for the first few weeks.&#160 The offense ain’t gettin’ it done.

The PFW will return Friday for one last practice round before they start counting for real week after next.


To start the week off with a smile, Denizens, I give you one that, believe it or not, I got from a liberal at Cap’n John Doe’s place.

Spew warnings.

An olde Army buddy of mine just started a new business making landmines that look like prayer rugs.

It’s doing well, He says “Prophets are going through the roof…!”

[rim shot]


Today’s blurb comes from the GrabBag&#153, courtesy of LC Rurik, who got it from one of his email friends via Australian Shooter Magazine&#160 this past week.

“If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq Theater of operations during the past 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers.

The firearm death rate in Washington, DC is 80.6 per 100,000 for the same period. That means you are about 25 per cent more likely to be shot and killed in the US capital, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the U.S., than you are in Iraq.

Conclusion: The U.S. should pull out of Washington.

Damned straight.


Behold the savior&#160 of the Texass stRangerS!&#160

(For the record, the Orioles – one of the worst teams in the American League, if not all of baseball – won the season series from Our Pathetic Wuss-asses&#153, 6-3, with one game to play.

The funny thing is that some morons around here actually think the stRangerS are actually gonna make it to the World Series.&#160 &#160 )


Tonight’s edition of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153 begins, as promised, with the sad (awwwww!) news that C’boy wideout Miles Austin…is no longer dating Kim Kardashian.

ALL:&#160 Awwwwwwwww.

MERLIN:&#160 So I guess that means no Cabo distractions this year?

VENOMOUS:&#160 One can only hope.

However, if you check out Lifestyle Weekly’s&#160 cover, you’ll find the lusty, busty wench saying thusly:

Kim’s plans for marriage and kids are on hold.

Turning 30, she admits, “I never thought this would be my life”

Well, Kimmie, buttercup – maybe you should have told the boy to turn off the video camera during your little romp in the hay, huh?

Second item of note is of a happier bent:&#160 Texas Christian University’s Amon G. Carter Stadium will (finally!) be getting that concrete-snd-steel surgery it’s been needing.

The idea to upgrade Amon G. Carter Stadium has been around for 50 years. In 2012, TCU’s then-82-year football stadium will have a finished face-lift.

TCU announced a long-rumored $105 million renovation project during a news conference Monday afternoon.

The stadium’s west side and north end zone will be completely revamped, thanks to 34 donors. The first $15 million donation came from the Amon G. Carter Foundation after TCU’s Board of Trustees created a stadium renovation committee in 2006.

The renovated stadium looks to hold about 40,000, which is less than the 47,000 or so it holds now.&#160 OTOH, TCU’s good for about 30,000 or so every week, so it’ll be a little more intimidating for opposing teams that venture into the Purple Pit&#153.

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 As in, more intimidating than it already is.


On to the PFW.&#160 Dallas is in San Diego tomorrow night for Preseason Game Number Three&#153, and they’re a banged up lot, especailly up front on offense.&#160 Marc Columbo had his knee scoped out this week, and Kyle Kosier sprained his MCL in the loss to the Raiders.&#160 TE John Phillips is out for the year (knee), and Martellus Bennett (high ankle) still isn’t back yet, so we’ll see a bunch of no-namers backing up Jason Witten.

Could be a long night for Romo.

Defensively, we’ll see how they do against a halfway-competent offense in Phillip Rivers and the Norv Turner timing game of the Chargers.&#160 Jason Garrett, take copious notes.

We’re back Monday or so for the recap.&#160 In the meantime, c’mon, HDD.&#160 Even a blurb about how you hate exhibition football.&#160 Something just to lemme know yer alive, huh?

UPDATE:&#160 HDD has been located.

According to the SpatulaGoddess (long may she exude massive quantities of hawtness), our biggest Bucky supporter has undergone something of a career change.&#160 He is now in training to receive his Class A over-the-road license.

That’s right, Denizens – we gotz us a real-live trucker on our hands.&#160 (Truck-stop cuties everywhere, beware – he’ll steal y’all’s hearts.&#160 &#160 )

Godspeed, HDD.&#160 We’re praying for you over this way.


Denizens, as some of you may know, I’ve long been an advocate of telling the Environmental (Nutcase) Protection Agency – to their face, if necessary – to go pound sand.

Lookit.&#160 No one – least of all yours truly – wants to have to breathe dirty air and/or drink dirty water.&#160 Conservatives country wide acknowledge that, yes and yes – it’s nasty and it’s nasty.&#160 We get that, mkay?&#160 At the exact same time, we have this thing about being told what to do and when/how to do it.&#160 ‘Specially from outsiders.&#160 With a particular predjudice against those from Warshington, DC.

It kinda got my hackles up, therefore, when I read the environ-mental case ‘tards were going to try to regulate…are you sitting down…?

…farm dust.

The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency is considering a crackdown on farm dust, so senators have signed a letter addressing their concerns on the possible regulations.

Bullshit.&#160 Instead of expressing their “concerns”, these half-assed congresscritters ought&#160 to be sending a letter to the EPA threatening to completely, 100% defund the bastard agency&#160 if they don’t get off their fucking high horse and act with some common sense.

Do y’all realize how many possible things can kick up dust on a farm?&#160 Livestock, tractors, people walking across the dirt road – hell, even a windy effin’ day&#160 can kick up a little sand.&#160 What, EPA – you gonna attempt to fine that tornado?!&#160 Best of luck to you trying to serve it the citation.

The first EPA retard who even attempts&#160 to cite someone for kicking up dust should probably go back to being&#160 dust, courtesy of…well, you know.

Dumb-shit ass-spelunkers.


(Hat tip to Riehl.)

San Fran Nan Piglousi wants to investigate those of us who oppose Cordoba House – i.e. the Ground Zero mosque:

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi Wednesday morning called for “transparency” in the funding behind a planned Islamic community center and mosque being built blocks from ground zero. But she also said there should be similar openness about the money behind conservative attacks aimed at thwarting the project.


Earlier Wednesday, Pelosi told San Francisco’s KCBS radio that “there is no question there is a concerted effort to make this a political issue by some.”

“I join those who have called for looking into how is this opposition to the mosque being funded,” she said. “How is this being ginned up?”

The power of the government brought to bear on ordinary, private citizens who believe this travesty to be a slap-in-the-face against Americans and don’t want to see it built at a spot two blocks from Ground Zero.

Libtards, just an advisory:&#160 When our rights under the First Amendment are taken away from us…we’ll just have to go to the next one.


(Hat tip to Val over at Babalu Blog.)

And remember, Denizens – this is the Party of Tolerance&#153:

There’s only one way the tragic airplane crash in Alaska that ended the life of former-U.S. Senator Ted Stevens could have been better, according to New Hampshire Democratic activist and State Rep. candidate Keith Halloran: If Sarah Palin had been on it.

In a Facebook post, Halloran, who describes himself as “an active local citizen and supporter of NH Governor John Lynch,” said of the plane crash, “Just wish Sarah and Levy were on board.”


Halloran isn’t alone among New Hampshire Democratic leaders in wishing ill toward the controversial former Republican Vice Presidential nominee.

Natch Greyes, a staffer for Democratic Rep. and Senate hopeful Paul Hodes tweeted the following on July 21st: “I have to wonder if & or when @sarahpalinusa will learn the meaning of our state motto: “live free or die.”

sNatch, you fucking asswipe, lemme tell you and your fellow chickenshit LaKeitha Halloran something:&#160 When the SHTF, true patriots aren’t going to even consider&#160 giving you the fucking “live free” option.

Let’s just say, pussy, that you’d best keep your distance and continue giving each other those rim jobs underneath the hoop skirts.

Cowardly bastards…


« Previous Articles    
Glossary -  Disclaimer - Privacy Policy - History - The SpatulaFAQ
This blog is best viewed with your eyes. 
It helps, though, if you have Microsoft Internet Explorer  set about 1024x768 1280x1024 with your Favorites window activated on the left deactivated.  (At least until I can get a better handle on how WordPress works.)

(KORRIOTH:  Oh, great.  More wormholes.)

Mozilla Firefox doesn't do too badly, either; in fact, it's His Rudeness' browser of choice.
You can  use Nutscrape,  if you so desire - but why in blazes would you want to use a browser from a company that had to hide behind Janet El Reño's skirt to be successful?

And don't even  get me started on Opera or Chrome.  I'm not about  to trust any browser that won't let me change its color scheme.
Hacked by ZAKILOUP was based on WordPress platform 2.6 (it's 3.05 3.31 now), RSS tech , RSS comments design by Gx3.