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As we launch this pre-holiday edition of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153, Denizens, I find myself having lost all respect for one Adrian Peterson of the Minne-haha ViQueens.

No, not because he drew a tiny dollop of blood when he spanked his son a little too hard with a switch.&#160 (As an aside…Steffi Dawn Stewart

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, I trust you’re not taking it easy on our son when it comes to discipline.&#160 I would hate to think he turned out…well, like you.)

No, I’ve lost respect for the man because he caved in to the NFL and promised “never to use a switch as discipline on any of his children again”.

“I won’t ever use a switch again,” Peterson told USA Today Sports in his first extensive public remarks since being indicted for reckless or negligent injury to a child. “There’s different situations where a child needs to be disciplined as far as timeout, taking their toys away, making them take a nap. There’s so many different ways to discipline your kids.”


Commissioner Roger Goodell, in a statement announcing Peterson’s suspension, was critical of the star running back, saying, “You have shown no meaningful remorse for your conduct.”

And what the ever-loving fuck&#160 do you&#160 know about “discipline”, Roger Goodfella?&#160 Hell – you&#160 thought it was okay to only suspend Ray Rice two fucking games!!!


As for you, Peterson – thanks for letting us know your kids are now gonna grow up to be just like the doucherifles over there in Ferguson, MO.

See, Denizens, this is what I rail about when I scream bloody murder about the pussification of America.&#160 Peterson’s kid probably had a spanking coming, but because a droplet of blood emanated from his butt-ocks (a little Forrest Gump lingo, there), the metrosexual pansy-assed dickless wonders that make up the Low-Information Lunatic Lickspittles&#153 of our society clutch their pearls, acquire Teh Vapors&#153 and decry what, fifty to sixty years ago, this society would have roundly cheered.

And then we wonder how we could have elected an illegal Kenyan bastard to the White House – twice – and then just sit, whine & kvetch when he goes and blatantly violates the Constitution instead of manning up, getting off our asses and going and doing&#160 something about it.

Thanks, A.P.


Let’s get on with the football.&#160 My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets have a chance to do what no Fort Worth “hah skrewl” (a little Rush lingo, there) team has done in nearly 15 years:&#160 Win an area football playoff game.

They have Wichita Falls Rider tonight at 7:30 in Mineral Wells.&#160 Rider & Heights look to be pretty evenly matched – they beat White Settlement Brewer by more than did Heights, but didn’t beat Grapevine by as many as Heights did.&#160 They’re capable of putting up points, but they can also give them up, too.&#160 Should be a good game.

Sunday, Andy Dalton’s Cincinnati Bengals come to the Southern Command&#153 to take on Supreme General Rayegun’s Texans.&#160 If they can keep J.J. Watt out of the endzone (either offensively or defensively)

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, they might have a shot.&#160 Vegas has the Texans as a two-point home favorite, which translates to a toss-up.&#160 I guess it’ll depend on whether Ryan FitzPatrick takes the field.

TCU is off this week, so we’ll have four wildcard games: Rock Chalk to go into Norman and give #21 Oklahoma a scare (and if Kansas does&#160 pull off the upset, they’ll be calling for Bob Stoops’ head before the night’s out), #25 UMinnesota to have a letdown game against #23 Nebraska (and believe me, I’d love for Jerry Kill’s bunch to go in and upset Bo Pelini’s kids, but I just don’t see it happening), eighth-ranked Ole Miss to give Ar-kansas a shellacking in Fayetteville (I will never pick the Hogs for anything, ever), and Liberty U. to get their asses whipped at Coastal Carolina.&#160 (Sorry, Turner – I was gonna pick you…but then I saw whom you were playing, and you couldn’t beat ’em at home last year, so…(shrug))

We’re back Monday for the recap.&#160 (And it will&#160 be Monday, too – tune into this channel tomorrow to learn why.&#160 (Hint:&#160 This is as close to a countdown&#160 as you guys are gonna get this year.&#160 One.))


(Hat tip to the Emperor.)

This makes me fucking sick.

Go ahead.

Watch it.

If you fucking dare.

I watched the whole thing.

Now I need some industrial-strength brain bleach.

Ew.&#160 Just.&#160 Effing.&#160 Ew.&#160


NHO WHAI!!!!!!!

Yes whai, and if you thought not you’d better go check out this article and then go look up Jeremiah Wright, and Jim Wallis.

“What they have put out there is a message of intolerance and of hate,” said Nate Phelps.

Pretty strong words coming from the estranged son of the Westboro Church (I refuse to put Baptist in there because no right-minded Bible believing Baptist would allow themselves to be associated with Fred Phelps’ so-called church) pastor. But he’s got a point, especially when you take this next statement into consideration.

“He [Fred Phelps] not only was this violent, cruel and insensitive person with other humans but he insisted that we be that way.”

Lovely. So not only is the pastor not leading his church in the proper ways of the Bible, but he’s forcing his whacked out beliefs on his family. That’s one sick dude.

And in this article, it seems things just get worse…..

An estranged son of anti-gay Kansas pastor Fred Phelps said Wednesday that the spiritual leader of Westboro Baptist Church hit his wife and beat his children with a mattock handle until they bled.

“I think what he does out there is evil,” said Nathan “Nate” Phelps, …

I’ll have to check with Security Services real quick on this one, but I’m fairly certain that would qualify as ASSAULT AND BATTERY.

Yes, the Bible does say that homosexuality is wrong, just check out Leviticus and other places in the New Testament. But what Fred Phelps is doing and the way he is doing it by primarily rioting fallen soldiers funerals’ is absolutely wrong. And contemptuously close to being anti-American in my estimation. Nate Phelps should be commended for calling what his father does, exactly what it is.
Evil, plain and simple.



Last week, two girls “hah skrewl” (a little Rush lingo, there) basketball teams played a game.&#160 And one team showed obvious superiority over the other.&#160 Perhaps you heard about it.

Kinda reminded me of some of the games I had to witness between my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets and Fort Worth Dunbar’s perennial Texas HS champion Wildcats.&#160 (For the Uninitiated&#153, I was the Jackets’ BB manager at the time, so I didn’t have much choice – I had&#160 to watch those debacles.)&#160 In fact, I imagine a few of you SMUT types could probably relate.&#160 Especially those of you who were around for a certain game back in 1989.

Anyway, yesterday – after the head coach expressed disagreement with the wimp-assed apology offered by the school’s excuse-for-a-headmaster – said headmaster canned said coach.

It goes a long way towards showing, IYAM, just how pussified our country has become.&#160 A coach’s team runs it up on an opponent who, quite frankly, shouldn’t even be on the same court with any team in that league in the first place, and that coach gets his ass bitched at and dumped.&#160 Hell&#153 – as much uproar as there is over this nationally, it’s a damned wonder said winning coach hasn’t yet been accused of child abuse.

Don’t get me wrong.&#160 I’m all for sportsmanship.&#160 But I also think that, if you’re going to play, play.&#160 Dallas Academy’s coach could have chosen to take his team off the floor after three quarters – or better yet, refused to come out after halftime – and the score would have automatically become 2-0.&#160 Two-zip doesn’t quite look as imposing as 100-0, y’know?

But DA’s coach didn’t do that.&#160 He kept running them out there, and they kept trying.&#160 And they kept failing.

And there’s no shame in that.

I mean, c’mon.&#160 This is a high-school game, for Cthulu’s sake.&#160 No one’s fewwings&#160 are going to be long-term hurt over this.&#160 No one is going to suffer some sort of psychosis over being on the short end of a 100-0 score.&#160 For there to be this&#160 kind of reaction to the final score – and for the winning coach to lose his job over it – is just flat-out asinine in the extreme.

But that’s what you get when you’ve become a country full of pussies.


If you go down the sidebar a bit, just before you get to the StatCounter, you’ll see this:

That comes from a little something over which the pussified Republicans in Snohomish County, WA, got their panties in a slight bunch.

A controversial three dollar bill may have brought Republicans and Democrats together to agree on something.

The bill, which was sold at the Evergreen State Fair’s Republican Party booth in Snohomis County, Washingotn, features Democratic presidential nominee Sen. Barack Obama wearing a headdress, propelling a widespread myth that he is Muslim.

Except I’m not so terribly sure that is is&#160 a myth, y’know?

Some call it a joke, but not everyone is laughing.

Which just goes to show you how linguini-spined the Republican party has become in Washington State.&#160 But then, that’s what happens when the only “principle” for which one stands there is “Ooooooh, pwease wike me – pweeeeeze???”

Obama is, in fact, a Christian.

Yeah, well, that’s&#160 eminently open for debate.

Carol Ronken snapped a picture of the bill, and then called the local newspaper. “It’s racist. It’s disgusting,” said Ronken.

Carol, honeybunch, you’re&#160 full of shit, bitchy and repulsive.&#160 So how’s it feel having invective tossed back at you like that, hm?

Republican county chair Geri Modrell said she never approved the bill, but insisted the bills were nothing more than a very bad joke. She has asked volunteers to put them away.

And had I been a volunteer, I’d have told her to go pound sand.&#160 It’s a damn funny novelty item, and it’s sure to piss off Demoscum.

Which, of course, is why it’s now on my sidebar.

Cheri DeShaw, whose booth sat right across from the Republican Party’s at the fair, said she has heard an earful from visitors.

Oh, I’m sure she has.&#160 And I’m equally sure that she’s faced them with puppy-dog eyes, begging for forgiveness for something she didn’t even do.&#160 And then the Washington State GOP wonders why few like them.

To them, I say this:&#160 Lookie here, chumps.&#160 The Constitution guarantees us freedom of speech – even speech that happens to offend folks from time to time.&#160 No one has a right to never be offended, and the quicker you jackasses up there learn that, the better.&#160 Besides, if you whine and whimper apologies to every buttmunch who ever gets “offended” about something, that’s all you’ll ever spend your time doing.

Not terribly productive, if you ask me.

Modrell said she is working to track down the person responsible, but does not plan to conduct an intensive investigation. She said it is tough enough to recruit volunteers and does not want to alienate another.

“It’s not the policy of this party to use that low level sense of humor,” Modrell said.

Yeah, well, Geri, maybe it should be.&#160 And maybe you should re-evaluate your definition of “low level sense of humor”.

Moreover, you should track down the creator of that bill ASAP.

To buy him a beer.


Item:&#160 A Dallas banker purchases the house formerly owned by the late Stanley Marcus (for the Uninitiated&#153, that’s the&#160 Stanley Marcus of Needless Markups Neiman Marcus fame).&#160 He announces plans to demolish the house, citing “energy concerns”.&#160 Maybe it’s a bugger to heat & cool, I dunno.

Because it’s supposedly an historical landmark (why, I’ve no clue – I mean, I know the rich worshipped ol’ Stanley, but really, now), the banker sent notification to the Texas Historical Commission.&#160 This triggered a 60-day waiting period, after which no one had a whole lotta say-so in whether he razed the house or not.

Item:&#160 A number of “preservationists” – i.e, a hornet’s nest worth of fucking nosy-assed busybodies who apparently have nothing better to do than wring their hands in severe angst over property that’s not theirs and try and tell the owners of said property what they ought to should must&#160 do with said property, scream bloody murder about the proposed razing.

Stanley Marcus’ Lakewood house, for decades the most glamorous residence in Dallas, may be torn down by the couple that once spurred efforts to preserve it.

The announcement by Dallas banker Mark Lovvorn, who bought the house from Mr. Marcus in 1994, brought a mixture of shock, surprise and anger from preservationists statewide.

Now, before you try and point out to me, “well, Thpatth, weren’t they the oneth who wanted to pretherve it in the firtht plathe???&#160 Hmmmmm?” – Yes, they did.&#160 But if they’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not worth the effort, or cost-effective, or whatever…well, isn’t that their right to make that determination AS THE EFFIN’ PROPERTY OWNERS?????

Moreover, if it is truly their&#160 property, who the Hell’s business is it what&#160 they do with it? (Subject to zoning restrictions, of course, but that’s not relavant here.)

Katherine Seale, director of Preservation Dallas, called the decision “tragic.”

“In a list of significant houses in Dallas, this is right at the top,” she said. “This is one of the few private residences that can truly be said to define Dallas.”

Oh, but aren’t you having your lapdogs in Dallas local government spend as-yet-untold millions & millions&#160 of dollars to build a park with a toll road that has a designer bridge inside a levee that’s gonna flood every fucking time it rains more than .1 of an inch?&#160 Isn’t all that&#160 supposed to be what “defines Dallas” for the next half-century or more?

C’mon, you high-horsed nose-in-the-air bimboids, make up those ditzy minds!

Jerrie M. Smith, Mr. Marcus’ daughter, said she was shocked by the news that the house may be demolished.

“I would think when you buy a house like that that, you would try to preserve it,” she said.

Really?&#160 I&#160 would think – being a bit more grounded and practical about it, dearie – that when you buy a house and a tract of land, you’ve paid for the right to do whatever the hell you want with it.

But then, whadda I know?&#160 I’m just a right-wing deathbeast who believes in quaint notions like liberty, capitalism and the right to do what you want with your property after you’ve paid for the right with the sweat off your brow.

Damn&#160 that pithy, pesky little concept called freedom!

But now, we find that all the whining from the busybody assholes had something of an effect on the linguini spine of the banker:

An embattled Mark Lovvorn said Friday he had changed his mind about demolishing the house built by legendary Dallas retailer Stanley Marcus and will withdraw an earlier notice of that intent to the Texas Historical Commission.


“Dallas is a city that is dear to us and we will always remain sensitive to the feelings of its citizens,” Mr. Lovvorn said in a brief statement e-mailed to The Dallas Morning News. “Our greatest desire is to maintain a consistent testimony for Christ in all of the issues of life and, in this circumstance, we feel that a strong spirit of cooperation best accomplishes this.

“We will therefore be happy to work closely with the city and state that we love as we explore restoration plans for our home.”

Asked if he was leaving open an option to demolish the house in the future, Mr. Lovvorn took a long pause, then said, “No.”

I lost a lot of respect for this excuse-for-a-man right there.&#160 He was in the right, and he let the pressure from the snot-nosed buffoons get to him.

And this thing about “Christian testimony” – sorry, I don’t buy it.&#160 I’m pleased he’s a Christian and all, but this had nothing to do with his Christian walk, and I have a feeling he knows it.&#160 This was nothing more than a cop-out, and a wishy-washy, half-assed attempt to please a bunch of jackoffs who had absolutely zero&#160 business sticking their collective nose where it didn’t belong.

And the fact that this linguini-spined banker guy caved and reversed himself like a pussy leaves one helluva sour taste in my mouth.



(Hat tip to the Emperor.)

And not to put too fine a point on it, the formidable Frank J’s wife, the equally formidable SarahK, delivers a roundhouse steel-toed boot to the Professional Victim Nation&#153…which, apparently, now includes the Rutgers nappy-headed hos their own selfs.

I mean, really.

Meanwhile the Rutgers women’s basketball team appeared Thursday on the Oprah Winfrey show to discuss the controversy. “Not only did he steal our dreams, he hurt our character of Rutgers University, our state, and all who have been associated,” Rutgers Head Coach C. Vivian Stringer said on the show.

Good Gawd A’mighty&#153, tell me they didn’t just do that.&#160 Please&#160 tell me they didn’t just go on Okrah Ofrah that fat-assed broad’s collective vibrator-jerk and throw their own little pity party???

F.E.J.F.E, as far as I’m concerned.&#160 Fuck the entire lot of ’em.

Imus was right.


Not that I’m a fan of Don Imus, okay?&#160 Quite the opposite, in fact – I think he’s an asshole.

But, c’mon.&#160 He’s getting all this (the latest being his canning by (P)MSNBC) for “nappy-headed hos”?

Puh-leeeeeeze.&#160 Isn’t there enough real&#160 news going on without this Salacious Sideshow of Suckitude&#153?

And a quick bitch-slap to the Rutgers bitches – who apparently have led the absolute most sheltered lives in recorded history, despite the fact that they go to school in frackin’ Noo Joisey, for fuck’s sake – because their widdle feewings are hurt:

In their first comments about Imus’ remarks, the team talked Tuesday about how the insult stung. Some of the women wiped away tears as their coach, C. Vivian Stringer, criticized Imus for “racist and sexist remarks that are deplorable, despicable, abominable and unconsionable” the day after they reached the NCAA finals.

The young women, half of them freshmen and eight of them black, expressed incredulity at how someone they’ve never met could say such a thing about them.

“All of our accomplishments were lost … we were stripped of this moment by the degrading comments made by Mr. Imus,” said Heather Zurich, a sophomore forward.

Don’t get out much, do you, bimbos?

Hell, I’ve been called every vile name in the book, and even some that ain’t&#160 in the book.&#160 (Google “Lord Spatula” if you don’t believe me.)&#160 You don’t hear me&#160 whining about “racist and sexist remarks that are deplorable, despicable, abominable and unconsionable”, do you?

Grow a pair, ladies.&#160 Grow several pair, in fact.&#160 Move the fuck on and forget about it.&#160 Your pissy-faced reaction to all this has given it a shelf life at least one week longer (and still going) than it would’ve gotten otherwise.

Damn,&#160but our society has become pussified.&#160


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