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Yesterday and today I have been at a conference called “Lutheranism and the Classics”. Among the pieces of trivia I picked up from miscellaneous conversation is the fact that in Great Britain, the Jedi religion is the fourth largest religion in the country.

Go figure!

Denizens, we have a problem over here.&#160 Mrs. Venomous’ mom has passed on at the age of 87.

For the next little bit, I’m going to be incommunicado, trying to book passage to San Diego, arranging for lodging & transportation and whatnot.&#160 As a result, the already-non-existant posting schedule I’ve been busting my ass (?) to maintain is dropping to zero.&#160 There will be no Perfect Football Weekend&#153 posts for the foreseeable future, among other things (although I may post schedules & lines, if there’s time).

Keep the Mrs.’ family in your prayers, and thanks.

Vicar, General – as of now, you have the conn. I’ll let you guys know.

The Demoscum are crowing about how Bambi’s running away with Ohio.

Nice Deb thinks she knows why.

This information came at the very end of the Gravis Marketing/Capitol Correspondent Ohio 2012 Presidential Survey, but I’m going to go ahead and post it right up front:

Survey of 594 likely voters was conducted September 21-22, 2012. The margin of error is +/- 4.3 percentage points. Party ID: 41.4% Democrat; 31.1% Republican; 27.5% Independent/Other. Results from the poll conducted September 7-8, 2012 are in curly brackets. Results from the poll conducted September 2, 2012 are in square brackets. Results from the poll conducted August 27, 2012 are in parentheses.

Huh!

Huh, indeed, as the Puppy Blender would say.

My teams are running like my car.

In slight need of a good tune-up.

at #17 TCU 27, Virginia 7

at #6 Oklahoma 19, #15 Kansas State 24

at #25 Nebraska 73, Idaho State 7

at Wisconsin 37, UTEP 26

at Liberty 26, Lehigh 28

at Dallas 16, Tampa Bay 10

Against anyone else, this would’ve been an L.&#160 And, had this game been played in, say, December, the Bucs would have won easily.&#160 But this is the Bucs, and their offense sucks, and it sucks worse than does the Cowgirlz’ O.

The offensive line (and lemme tell ya, it is&#160 offensive) continued to fail to protect El Choko, who threw yet another&#160 pick.&#160 Jason Witten, whom I’m convinced is either still injured or has just lost it, dropped another three passes he should have caught, making seven for the year.&#160 (By comparison, he dropped six all of last year.)&#160 He’s becoming the C’girlz’ second coming of Widdle Terri Owens.

El Choko did well enough, going 25-39-283…well, except for that pick (it, of course, led to six for TB).&#160 Not only that, they couldn’t open holes for Demarco Murray, who only ran for 38 yards on 18 carries.&#160 (Take out the 29-yarder for the score, and…well…you see the problem.)

Might be the last gimme game on the schedule, so get ready for a lot of bad&#160 C’girl f’ball.

—

The Big XII must coat their footballs in butter.&#160 The Frogs lost another&#160 fumble through the back of the end zone, and Pachall threw his first pick of the year.

Fortunately, Kenny Cain and the TCU defense pitched another near-shutout, only getting scored upon when Jason Verrett stupidly jumped up to make a Big Production Number&#153 out of a third interception…only to drop the ball.&#160 Nice.

Brandon Carter caught two TD passes (part of a 21-32-305 day for Pachall), both of the one-handed variety, and Josh Boyce broke the Frog career record for touchdown catches with his 18th.

Matthew Tucker and Trayvon Boykin ran for about fifty yards apiece to lead the Frog ground attack.&#160 Boykin probably ought to be starting at RB – this kid is scary fast.&#160 Put him in, let him stretch the defenses, then let Pachall kill ’em over the top with play-action.&#160 Best way to win the Big XII, IYAM.

—

Liberty’s getting closer, is all I’ll say.&#160 They had a chance to tie with a minute left against Lehigh, but missed the two-point attempt.

—

It didn’t start out pretty for Bucky.&#160 UTEP scored the first touchdown off a turnover when Montee Ball got smacked and coughed up the ball.

Fortunately, Devin Smith blocked the PAT, ran it back for two, and UTEP didn’t seriously threaten the rest of the day, although they would hang around the rest of the day.

James White & Melvin Gordon picked up where Ball left off, running for nearly 190 yards.&#160 Joel Stave was a workmanlike 12-17-210, with a TD and a pick in sealing his takeover of the Badger QB spot from Danny O’Brien.

—

Coming into Lincoln, Idaho State had lost 33 straight road games.

You didn’t really&#160 think they were gonna have a chance in this one, did you?

The Huskers scored on offense.&#160 They scored on defense.&#160 They scored on special teams.&#160 They lead 35-0 after one, 45-0 at half, and 66-0 after three. Rex Burkhead & Imani Cross ran for 119 & 100 yards, respectively.&#160 Taylor Martinez was 9-13-165 with a couple of scores.&#160 Nebraska had 569 yards of total offense, 385 of that on the ground.

Nice little appetizer before Big Eleven Twelve Ten play.

—

The Oklahoma quarterbacks flat-out gave this one away.

A handful of critical mistakes by the Sooners’ quarterbacks did them in.

Jones’ first big gaffe came as he rolled to his right near his own goal line and was hit by Justin Tuggle, with the ball squirting free. Childs picked it up and scored to give K-State an early 7-3 lead and a big shot of momentum.

Oklahoma was within a yard of pulling even when Blake Bell, Jones’ backup who runs a power set called the “Belldozer,” fumbled away a snap to snuff out a promising drive.

“It’s just bad football when you turn the football over, give (up) a touchdown when you’re inside the 1-yard line on second down and you lose the football,” Stoops said. “It’s just bad football.

“You give up three turnovers and don’t get one, you’re going to lose against a good football team. That’s how it went.”

No kidding.&#160 And Bob – until you can teach these kids some mental toughness & ball protection, you’ve lost your last chance at a national championship for awhile.&#160 It’s a given that you won’t get it this year.

—

I was tempted to declare another Executive Fiat&#153 week since Rutgers beat Arkansas – but Rutgers is a Division I-A school, so it’s not like it was a complete shock.&#160 The Piggies have lost three in a row, though, and that’s always nice.

This week:&#160 5-1 (Liberty covers the SpatulaLine).&#160 Overall:&#160 17-7.

The PFW will return Friday, when we will guaran-damn-fuckin’-tee a loss for Arlington Heights, and bemoan the demise of Fort Worth high-school football, thanks to the (hack, spit) UIL (hack, spit).

Seems a small apology is in order.

Thursday, as you know, I…uh…had a little disagreement with a company called Chick-Fil-A.

KORRIOTH:&#160 “Little”?

K’HADIBAK’H:&#160 Yeah, and the Titanic only had a small problem with an ice cube.

MERLIN:&#160 Sire, you never&#160 do anything “little”.

OZY McCOOL:&#160 I thought Titanic&#160 was destroyed by an energy ribbon…?

[Korrioth smacks McCool upside the head, Gibbs-style.]

Naturally, the staff chimed in with an advisory that maybe, just maybe I should invoke the time-honored “48-hour rule” – let something sit for 48 hours before diving in with a rant.

And, as it turns out, they were right, and I was…was…wr…wr…w…

RAYEGUN:&#160 C’mon, you can say it.

VICAR:&#160 Really not that hard if you put your mind to it.

VENOMOUS:&#160 …wr…wr…

THE SPATULAGODDESS:&#160 Now, now, hon, you can do it, really.

…wr….wr………wr-not entirely accurate.

ALL:&#160 (groan)

What?&#160

Anyway, as I found a couple days ago…and what Denizen & fellow blogger Alan K. Henderson later reiterated to me…Chick-Fil-A did not, in fact, cave in:

Contrary to reports first made by the gay-activist group The Civil Rights Agenda (TCRA) on Tuesday and later picked up by mainstream media outlets, Chick-fil-A and its charitable-giving arm, the WinShape Foundation, did not agree to stop making donations to groups that support the biblical definition of marriage in exchange for being allowed to open a franchise in Chicago.

“For many months now, Chick-fil-A’s corporate giving has been mischaracterized,” executives said in today’s statement. “And while our sincere intent has been to remain out of this political and social debate, events from Chicago this week have once again resulted in questions around our giving. For that reason, we want to provide some context and clarity around who we are, what we believe and our priorities in relation to corporate giving.

“A part of our corporate commitment is to be responsible stewards of all that God has entrusted to us. Because of this commitment, Chick-fil-A’s giving heritage is focused on programs that educate youth, strengthen families and enrich marriages, and support communities. We will continue to focus our giving in those areas. Our intent is not to support political or social agendas.

And this is where the “not entirely correct” aspect kicks in.&#160 Chick-Fil-A has, in fact, given $$$$ to Focus on the Family&#160 in the past.&#160 Before I completely exonerate then, at least, I want to see them give to FotF again.&#160 And I want to see the heterophobic community squeam (squeal/scream), screech & throw a temper tantrum over it.

For now, the boycott is lifted.&#160 And I offer an apology to Donnie Cathy and the Chick-Fil-A management staff.&#160 (And, if you’ll notice, the post in question has been scratched out.)

Provisionally so.&#160 The folks at Focus&#160 could probably use a few bucks…

So here’s a really good question posed by an apparent black Republican, as seen on the FB feed:

Am I expecting an answer from ANYONE in the Al-Obambi administration or campaign?

{crickets chirping loudly}

That’s what I thought. And so should you, cause that ain’t the “acceptable” type of question to ask this president (cough, cough, gag, gag).

Worthless piece of ….oh nevermind, it’ll just put me in another Grumpy General Mood&#153. As if one wasn’t enough.

ThatIsAll&#153.

No wait, since I’m already in grumpy mode…..

DISMISSED!!!&#153

Denizens, as we start this episode of the Perfect Football Weekend, I am encouraged by what I see going on at the University of Tennessee.

The University has told a group of militant atheist douchetards to go pound sand.

Tennessee officials defended the pregame prayer ritual at Neyland Stadium, which has drawn protests from one group.

According to the Knoxville News Sentinel, in response to a letter from the Freedom From Religion Foundation urging Tennessee to stop its ritual of pregame prayer, University of Tennessee officials ruled there is no violation of the U.S. Constitution with the invocation.

The Freedom From Religion Foundation argues that it should be discontinued on the principle of separation of state and church.

First of all, I’ll say this for the 746,251st time:&#160 The words “separation of church and state” do not appear in the United States Constitution.&#160 Period.&#160 End.&#160 Stop.

Secondly, this tiny little gaggle of asshats is once again sticking its puny nose where it doesn’t belong, and is trying to horn itself in where it is neither needed, nor wanted.

Such tiny little gaggles, if you ask me (and you didn’t, not that I give a shit), should be taken out back and be severely horsewhipped.

If not ventilated, IYKWIMAITYD.

Let’s get on with the football.&#160 I guaranteed you that my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets would not lose tonight.&#160 And why is that, Wizard?

MERLIN:&#160 Knowing you as I do, old friend, it’s because they do not play.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Right you are, Wiz.&#160 And watch it with the “old” part.

MERLIN:&#160 Relax, m’liege.&#160 You have my word that you shall not be peppered with the black balloons this annum.

Anyway, no – Heights doesn’t play.

But 17th-ranked (17th-ranked???) TCU does, and it’s another early start for Gary Patterson and the Froggies as they take on the Virginia Cavaliers in the return match from two years ago.&#160 Virginia’s better now, and it shows in how Vegas rates the game – with the Tadpoles only an 18&#189-point home favorite (in previous years, this would’ve been 28, at least).&#160 The Cavs will give the Purple & Black all it wants.

In addition, TCU will be without RB Waymon James for the remainder of the season, as he blew out his knee against Rock Chalk.&#160 That&#160 ain’t good.

It’s the Big XII opener for sixth-ranked Oklahoma as 15th-ranked Kansas State comes calling.&#160 OU has not impressed anyone to start the season, so K-State’s only a 14&#189-point road dog.&#160 This one does&#160 come down to a field goal.

Bo Pelini’s Nebraska Cornhuskers, back in the Top 25 this week at No. 25, gets another serving of squash in the form of Idaho State.&#160 Taylor Martinez might actually get a break in this game.

Bucky thinks&#160 they’re getting a break when the UT-El Paso Miners visit Camp Randall.&#160 But UTEP gave OU all it could handle, if you’ll recall – and though they’re on the road, I look for it to be a replay of the Utah State game.&#160 (So does Vegas – Bucky’s only an 18-point favorite at home.&#160 Ouch.)

Turner Gill’s Liberty Flames host Lehigh of the Patriot League this week.&#160 Lehigh’s 3-0.&#160 The SpatulaLine is set this week at 40.&#160 That’s all I’ve got to say about that.

And on Sunday, the Dallas Cowgirls have their home opener against the Tampa Bay Bucs.&#160 Doubtless the Bucs want revenge for the pasting Dallas gave them last year in Tampa.&#160 And Vegas has decided to make the ‘Girlz a 7&#189-point favorite at home, so gimme El Choko and about 20.

We’re back Monday or so with the recap.&#160 In the meantime, my question for HDD would be…think you&#160 can coach Bucky’s O-line?

Damn.&#160 Fuck.&#160 Shit.&#160 (And if the Vicar weren’t here, I’d say a helluva lot more than that.)

You’ve lost my business, Chick-Fil-A.&#160 And my family’s.&#160 And you’ve lost it permanently.

Felix “Bust” Jones is still on the Cowgirl roster.&#160 This tells you everything you need to know about the franchise.

Arlington Heights 28, Brewer 31

#16 TCU 20, UKansas 6

at Nebraska 42, Arkansas State 13

at Wisconsin 16, Utah State 14

Liberty 14, at Montana 34 (Liberty covers SpatulaLine of 35)

Dallas 7, at Seattle 27

Heights had a 7-0 halftime lead, and traded scores with Brewer in the third, but the Bears wore down the Jackets in the fourth.

—

Turner Gill’s teams, ever since he left UBeefalo, seem to have lacked something.

In UKansas, it was a secondary.&#160 Here at Liberty, it seems to be a running game.

Montana came up with some big plays on special teams and offense Saturday afternoon in its 34-14 win over Liberty. But it was the defense that drew the most praise from Coach Mick Delaney.

“Anytime you go out and stop a team from being able to run the ball, you should do well,” Delaney said. “I’m really proud of our defense, especially in the first half. They were just tenacious and got some key turnovers.”

[…]

“I’m a little disappointed,” said Liberty coach Turner Gill. “I thought we would be able to run the ball a little better.”

The Montana defense held the Flames to 21 yards rushing and harassed quarterback Josh Woodrum all afternoon — sacking him five times.

—

The most drama from Huskers-Red Wolves Saturday came from the sidelines.

Bo Pelini wasn’t acting like himself on the sideline Saturday, and defensive coordinator John Papuchis could tell something wasn’t quite right with the Nebraska head coach known for being effusive and emotional.

“Not that I knew there was anything wrong with him,” Papuchis said. “He was just a little bit less vocal than he normally is.”

Pelini was taken by ambulance to a hospital while his Cornhuskers were in the middle of a 42-13 victory over Arkansas State on Saturday. He said in a statement after the game that he underwent precautionary tests that “checked out just fine” and that he planned to go to work Sunday. He later was released from the hospital.

When Pelini gets around to watching the film, he’ll like what he sees.

Taylor Martinez threw two touchdown passes to Kenny Bell for Nebraska (2-1), and Ameer Abdullah ran for a career-high 167 yards and two scores, filling in for the injured Rex Burkhead.

—

Bucky should’ve lost this game.

Utah State’s Josh Thompson missed a 37-yard field goal with seconds remaining, allowing Wisconsin to hold on for a 16-14 victory Saturday night.

Thompson missed the kick wide right, preserving a win for the Badgers (2-1).

And, truth be told, the Ags kicked the Badgers’ collective ass all night long.

Bucky, long known for massive offensive lines and power running backs that can run right through you (ask Gary Patterson), suddenly can’t budge a feather.&#160 They only ran for a total of 156 yards against Utah State, and what does that&#160 tell you?&#160 (Mind you, Bucky generally averages&#160 200+ rush yards per game.)&#160 In fact, Utah State outgained Bielema’s bunch, 308-234.

At Camp Randall.

No wonder the O-line coach got his ass canned.

—

Honestly, TCU should’ve hung half a hundred on Rock Chalk.

Pachall threw for 335 on 24-30.&#160 Waymon James & Matthew Tucker ran for 152 yards combined, averaging nearly seven yards per rush.

The problem?&#160 The Frogs uncharacteristically coughed up the ball four times.

Pachall fumbled three times for the Horned Frogs, and Matthew Tucker also coughed up the ball, each time as TCU was trying to cap a drive with a touchdown.

“We came out a little flat,” Pachall said. “We were just shooting ourselves in the foot. We felt like they couldn’t stop us, but at the same time, we were stopping ourselves.”

Granted, it’s a young team, and will make mistakes like this.&#160 Needs to grow up in a hurry, though.

—

He fucked up on the first play.&#160 He fucked up on the last.

Why is Felix “Bust” Jones still here?

On the opening kickoff.&#160 Bust failed to secure the ball, and had it knocked loose around the 30.&#160 The Seahags recovered, though the Cowgirls held them to a field goal.

Second possession, Jason Witten drops a third-down pass that he should’ve&#160 caught.&#160 Next play, blocked punt, recovered, run in for the ‘Hag touchdown, 10 quick points, Cowgirls never recovered.&#160 (El Choko would throw a pick on the very next possession, to give you an idea.)

On the very last play – a screen pass to the back out of the backfield – Bust just trots – TROTS!!! – up the seam…then trips over the Seahags’ 25 yard line.&#160 A pathetic end to a pathetic performance.

Yet, Jones remains on this roster.&#160 As does Witten.

Now, Witten might could be given a pass, due to his injured spleen.&#160 On the other hand, he’s getting old, and he’s not exactly Usain Bolt when he’s healthy.&#160 We’ve got a good rookie tight end named James Hanna who looks like he could be the next Jay Novacek.&#160 The Cowgirlz have to get younger anyway – why not plug this guy in and see what he could do?

Oh, but that’s not the Cowgirl way, y’see.&#160 Not when they’ve got all these dinosaurs who only won one playoff game their entire time here.&#160 They’re just too good, y’know (/sarc).

Owner Jethro’s satisfied with mediocrity.&#160 And that’s what he’ll have going forward.&#160 Doesn’t matter, as long as Cowgirl fans keep handing Jethro their dough.

This week:&#160 4-2 (Liberty covers; counts as win).&#160 Overall:&#160 12-6.

The PFW will return Friday, when we’ll guarantee that Arlington Heights doesn’t lose this week.&#160 See you then.

As Darth was mentioning here (or just look down one post), it seems that the Al-Obambi government is going to give in to Muslim Brotherhood controlled Egyptian government. You’ll likely not see this being talked about anywhere but here. Sure as HELL ain’t gonna see it on (P)MSNBC or the Clinton News Network. They’ll just blather on about how Their Savior is ahead in the polls, but conveniently forget to mention HOW they got those numbers (hint: they are BIASED in their polling).

But back to what I started on….let’s just say that the previous belief that the US government does not negotiate with terrorists has now officially been thrown out the window, under the bus, crapped on, and utterly OWS-ified. And if you HONESTLY believe (like the rest of the administration and lap-dog media) that the rioting that started on 9/11 ACTUALLY started in revolt of the YouTube video — have I got a sweet real estate deal that even includes a historical bridge. Price: dirt cheap! Heck, let’s just call it FREE even!!!!

Folks, this even has got those in the military seriously concerned about the “Bubba Effect” (don’t know that term — Google it, Bing it, use your preferred search vendor). It’s to the point where even the Southern HQ is making preparations. Crap is piling up at an alarming rate and the launchers are pointed directly at the proverbial ceiling fan. As Darth mentioned previously, the End Times seem to be getting closer. And FYI, in case you’re not up-to-speed on your study of Revelation….here’s a hint: The USA ain’t a player. AAMOF, we’re actually even a slave-nation for on of the other ten powerhouses. Don’t believe me, look it up for yourself.

If the State Dept. actually caves in and releases the sheikh (even if they stonewall until after the election), it’s going to be open season on more than just embassies and consulates over in the Middle East. Target #1 is going to be Israel, with us as an extremely close target #2. And with Obambi snubbing a head of state just to campaign on David Letterman, you can even wager that Israel ain’t real happy right now either.

Hey all you 52%-ers out there, this the “hope and change” you so vehemently voted for???

Bet not.

Here’s to praying that enough people have woken up and will do the right thing in November.

Dismissed&#153

Uh, oh.

Battleships, aircraft carriers, minesweepers and submarines from 25 nations are converging on the strategically important Strait of Hormuz in an unprecedented show of force as Israel and Iran move towards the brink of war.

Western leaders are convinced that Iran will retaliate to any attack by attempting to mine or blockade the shipping lane through which passes around 18 million barrels of oil every day, approximately 35 per cent of the world’s petroleum traded by sea.

For those of you who have studied and are in the know, this means two conclusions can be reasonably drawn, given this and what’s happened with all the Muslim temper-tantrum throwing this past week:

1) Things are about to get real messy, real quick.&#160 (Yes, even messier than they already were.)

2) It’s a good bet that Antichrist is already on Planet Earth.

Won’t be long now, I tend to think.

Denizens, if you’ll take a gander down the right sidebar, you’ll note that all the pics, etc, are back.&#160 (Meaning, I finally got up off my lazy ass and changed a few links in the HTML coding – something the General was on me to take care of earlier this year.)

So I’m a lazy-ass.&#160 Bite Sue me.&#160

Denizens, as we begin this week’s episode of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153, I wanna direct your attention to the following screenshot below.

Now, obviously I’m writing this before the game’s started (at least, I started&#160 the post in the morning), and they have since changed it.&#160 However…I took this screenshot on Tuesday.

Think maybe there’s something the Lame Stream Mediots&#153 at the Startlegram know, that I don’t?

Let’s get on with it.&#160 It is my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets against the White Settlement (TX) Brewer hah skrewl&#160 (a little Rush lingo, there) Bears right now as I continue to type this.&#160 I have no idea how good Brewer is, except that they’ve kicked the shit outta both Trimble Tech & Western Hills the last couple o’ weeks.

Uh, oh.

Tomorrow morning, it’s an early breakfast for Gary Patterson and his 16th-ranked TCU Horned Frogs as they travel to Lawrence, KS, to face our old friends and former PFW targets, Rock Chalk.&#160 And I was really&#160 looking forward to this one – at least, until they canned Turner Gill.

KU has Charlie Weis now – and while he’s a good offensive coordinator and a decent enough head coach, he’s not all that great.&#160 If he were, do you think Notre Dame would’ve ever gotten rid of him?

Still, Vegas has the Frogs as a 21-point road favorite – and I just don’t buy that.&#160 Yes, TCU kicked the snot outta Grambling, and yes – Rock Chalk lost to Rice, of all people, at home.&#160 Call it a “trap” game if you want – I just don’t have a good feeling about this one.

Speaking of Turner Gill, his Division I-AA Liberty U. Flames are on the road at Montana this week.&#160 Montana beat S.Dakota State, but lost to Appalachian State (no shame there), so we’ll apply the SpatulaLine and ask Turner to keep it within, say, 35.

Also tomorrow, we’ll see if Bo Pelini’s Nebraska Cornhuskers can throw up something more than a matador defense against perennial powerhouse&#160 (*cough*) Arkansas State.&#160 (Then again, State may be the best team in&#160 Arkansas at the moment.&#160 &#160 )

Vegas has the Huskers as a 23&#189-point favorite at home, so look for it to come down to a Brett Maher field goal.

Bucky – that’s unranked&#160 Bucky, for the first time in Cthulhu knows when – is home Saturday to take out all of their Oregon State frustrations on the Aggies of Utah State.&#160 The Ags just got through upsetting BYU last week though (why anyone considers that an upset is beyond me – that program isn’t exactly headed in a northerly direction, y’know?), so this isn’t a gimme, although Vegas thinks they’re a solid 13&#189-point favorite at Camp Randall.&#160 The Badgers need to get it in gear fast, though, so we’ll see what happens.

Sunday afternoon, it’s the Dallas C’girlz on the road to take on the Seattle Seahags.&#160 Bucky’s own Russell Wilson starts now for the Seahawks, and word is that he’s a poor man’s ARRRRRRRRRR GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

I disagree vehemently.&#160 I think Wilson’s actually got some talent.

(Oklahoma gets a week off to finish digesting Florida A&M.&#160 Burp.)

We’re back Monday or so for the recap.&#160 In the meantime, HDD…how would you try & defend Russell Wilson?

Denizens, I was going to offer commentary on all the crap going on in Egypt and the rest of the Middle East, but Misha has it all covered.

Well worth your time, go and read, ThatIsAll&#153.

(The following is a column which appeared on my old web site, www.spatulacitybbs.com, on September 11th, 2001.&#160 It is re-posted now in remembrance of then.)

NOTE: This column contains some coarse language. Back out now if such language offends you, please.

I got four hours of sleep last night. I’m fighting the obligatory yearly case of tonsillitis. My throat hurts like Hell ™, my body is racked with soreness, and – not to put too fine a point thereupon – I’m in need of a tube of Prep H.

You get the idea. (sigh)

So here I am on LBJ Freeway in Dallas, plodding my way through traffic, fighting hard the urge to fall asleep at the wheel, literally. I’m listening to our sports-talk/guy-talk station on AM, the Ticket (KTCK 1310), when the sports jocks there suddenly exclaim something to the effect of, “WTF…?!”. Apparently, a heavy jet has veered off course and slammed into one of the World Trade Center twin towers in New York City.

“Wow,” I’m thinking, “they’ll likely stay with this one all day”, and I immediately turn over to the news/talk station here, WBAP 820, for all the coverage. Yes, I admit it – I’m fascinated by carnage.

At that point, though, I’m thinking tragic accident. Somebody’s plane lost its hydraulics and careened out of control, and the World Trade Center, unfortunately, was simply in the way.

That was 7:50. At 8:09, my worldview – and that of 280 million Americans, I would bet – changed radically.

At that point, a second jet slammed headfirst into the other tower. At that point, it’s not just a major tragedy. This looks just a weeeee bit too organized to be a coincidence.

It’s 8:20 when I get to the office, and I meet my buddy and old Wingtip Courier dispatcher as he’s driving up. He hasn’t been paying attention to anything. We get inside the office, and I bring him and our other compadre up to speed on things (he wasn’t listening to the radio, either, which was surprising). I go into my office and try pulling up a video stream for any of this. It’s 8:25.

Fifteen minutes later, the message is clear: America is under attack for the first time in 60 years. Yet another heavy jet has crashed – this one into the Pentagon. Reports are coming in about multiple hijackings. I’ve read a report about a worldwide alert issued last Friday concerning our resident international terrorist, Osama bin Laden, Two & two are quickly starting to come together.

(Side note: Don’t let them tell you they had no warning. I’m not kidding about that worldwide alert concerning bin Laden. They knew. Damned right they knew.)

(SECOND SIDE NOTE:&#160 As I go through the years, I’m less inclined to blame the Bush Administration than I was nine years ago.&#160 Sure, they knew it was possible, but all they had was a general warning.&#160 Nothing specific that said they were going to do what they did precisely on that day.&#160 So the Bush Administration gets a pass from me on this one.

The Demoscum, on the other hand…)

I can’t pull up anything on the ‘Net – and I have a T1 at work. The radio offers some details, but I want to know more. I run across the street to the CompUSSR to scope out the TV images.

And ohmigod – what TV images. I saw the second plane come in behind the first tower, and a plume of fire and deep black smoke explode out the other side. I saw the collapsed side of the Pentagon. I saw both WTC towers collapse – I had to ask someone if they’d collapsed all the way, so incredulous was the scene there. (A third building nearby would collapse six hours later.) I heard reports of yet another plane crash – this one near Pittsburgh. Rumor has it that the plane was headed to Camp David – we’re somewhere around the anniversary of the Camp David accords, so I hear.

Returned to work around 11:00 in a state of near-shock. Twenty minutes later, I received the go-ahead to go home. After a quick stop-off at the school to check on my wife, I arrived home and turned on the TV to Fox.

The images there were even more unbelievable than before. Fox had the direct angle on the second tower hit. They also had better angles on the collapse of both towers – although by that time, there was so much smoke & dust that one could hardly make anything out.

After a quick lunch, I sit down here to gather news stories, and I find this.

That’s right, sports fans. Here are a group of Palestinian squids laughing, dancing and cheering the attack on us, whom they call “the Great Satan”.

Compassionate people, those Palestinians.

Okay, now that I’ve bored you with my day, here’s my analysis: CNN early on was doing everything it could to avoid calling it a terrorist attack. But, Spatulaites & Spatulaettes, it’s too coordinated, too organized to be anything but. These events had to be planned months in advance. Certain people had to be installed at just the right junctures in order to pull this off – our airport security procedures, despite the fact that they’re handled by part-timers making minimum wage, are still way too strict. People who knew how to fly those planes had to arrange for passage on these planes. This would have been a major undertaking for simply one airliner – for four to have been hijacked in this manner and turned into suicide machines screams for the fact that this is more than just a Chinese fire drill.

So. Who’s got the capability to pull it off? Who has the money to train these thugs, place them right where they needed to be placed, and then turned loose? And who among them hates us enough to target us? Not to mention, who’s stupid-assed enough to try it?

If you haven’t figured it out by now, go back to school and take a comprehensive reading course. You think about it, there’s really only one man who qualifies: Osama bin Laden.

There can be no question. The mastermind behind the 1993 bombing at the aforementioned World Trade Center is so consumed with hatred for the United States that it sticks in his craw that he failed to bring us down eight years ago. So he decided to try and finish the job, gambling that we’ll be too chicken-shit to do anything about it.

(Second side note: Yeah, the Palestinians and the Taliban in Afghanistan are denying responsibility. Don’t believe the bastards. This is their baby.)

This is where George W. Bush needs to prove him wrong. Take this one to the bank, my friends: The Bush presidency – whether he believes it or not, whether he likes it or not – rides on how he handles this.

America is screaming for justice. More to the point, America is screaming for revenge. This is nothing short of an act of war. Yes, war. There’s been a formally undeclared one on us now, by most of the non-Israeli countries of the Middle East, for several years now. The Muslims hate our guts. The Syrians, the Iraqis, the Iranians – we’re their enemy. “Death To America” has been cruising at #1 on the Middle Eastern Top 40 for several years. They’re getting bolder, too – because they think we’re too cowardly to fight back. They think we’ve forgotten how to fight.

If George Bush has any balls, now’s the time to prove them wrong.

This is your solution, like it or not: Any country harboring terrorists – that would include Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Libya, Syria, et. al. – must be wiped from the face of the earth.

Scramble 30 bombers. Five warheads each – six if the plane will hold it. Bomb the shit out of these countries – get rid of these raghead bastards.

So what if you take innocents out, too? This is war, people. They don’t care about killing our innocents; why should we give a shit about theirs??

And that goes for the Palestinians, too. Let’s do Israel a favor and eliminate those sons-of-bitches from the annals of history, as well. They want to laugh and make merry at our misfortune, they need to pay the ultimate price.

Show the world some balls, George W. Teach them that there’s a price for fucking with America. Demonstrate to them that we have not forgotten how to fight!