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Any who have read my comments on marriage, know that I stand squarely in support of true, or man/woman marriage; unfortunately there are many in our nation who wish to change this, and they are happily using the courts to counter the will of the people, and to effect this change. This article, in my opinion makes an excellent case for allowing the people to work through their state legislatures to define marriage for each state.


It would have been a good weekend, it seems that Green Bay delivered a sound drubbing to Chicago(38-17). The downside is that Mrs. Vicar’s Steelers managed to pull defeat from the jaws of victory, losing to Tampa Bay 24-27.


Six years ago today, she came into my life. One year to the day thereafter, we married

And my life’s been a living hell ever since. 🙂

Still sorta crazy about her, though, y’know?.

Happy anniversary, Mrs. Venomous.



Well, Denizens, I finally found something about which to rant as we begin this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend – surprise, surprise, it’s Roger Goodfella’s Goodell’s NFL (No Fun League).


Apparently, Phil Phylicia Simms has a problem saying the word “Redskins”.&#160 And the DC faithful had no problem roasting his ugly ass because of it.&#160 (I wouldn’t have either, BTW.)

Enter Roger Goodfella’s Goodell’s NFl brownshirts:

Kristen B.
@KristenBerset Follow

#Redskins fans protesting Phil Simms refusal to use team name . #NFL official told them to take it down @wusa9
6:12 PM – 25 Sep 2014

Ray Rice originally gets only a couple of games for the left cross he gave his then-fiancée, but CRACK DOWN ON THE FANS EXERCISING THEIR FREE-SPEECH RIGHTS!!!!!

Mother-fucking fascist retards.

On to the football.&#160 Tomorrow, it’s the annual Battle For The Iron Skillet&#153 (otherwise known in Namby-Pambyville as the “D/FW Duel”) as Gary Patterson’s TCU Horned Frogs travel to Dal-wa to take on the Shitland Ponies of SMUT.

The Shitlanders have scored six (6) points.&#160 All season (3 games).&#160 And haven’t given up less than 43 points in any of those three games.

This is a major trap game for the Froggies.&#160 Lose this game, and it’s “attaboy/awshit” time again.

Vegas has the Tadpoles as a 32&#189-point road favorite.&#160 Gary…you need to cover, and then some.

Believe it or not, that’s it for the Core Teams&#153.&#160 My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets & Andy Dalton’s Cincinnati Bengals are off this week.&#160 So we’ll go with an NFL wild-card game, featuring Sean Payton’s New Orleans Saints visiting the Allas Cowgirlz (still no D) on Sunday night (turn down your TV sound so you won’t have to listen to Roberta Costas).&#160 Once again, the ‘Girlz will do the Mediocrity Tango&#153 and wind up at .500 as they get their asses handed to them.

For college wildcard games, we have Turner Gill’s Liberty Flames at Indiana State (sorry, Turner, I don’t have that much faith in your program), UTennessee at #12 Georgia (the Dawgs romp in the Pound&#153), Ar-kansas in College Station to get flattened by #6 Texas A&M (sorry, Piggies, A&M isn’t Tech), T-Sip U at Rock Chalk (even with all the kids Charlie Strong’s kicking off the Shortdick Longhorn squad, this one’s a gimme) and Rice playing the sacrificial lamb at Southern Miss (this one should please the Vicar).

We’ll try to have a recap before next Saturday Monday.&#160 In the meantime, New Mexico State is a 43&#189-point road dog at Death Valley (LSU), and my question is…is that all?


This is why I closed the BBS, Denizens; it is eventually why I’ll shut down This Fine Blog&#153:&#160 No Fucking Time To Do Anything&#153.

So okay, here’s the recap:

Arlington Heights 60, Grapevine 14

at #19 Wisconsin 68, Bowling Green 17

#6 Texas A&M 58, at SMUT 6

Central Michigan 10 at Kansas 24

Iowa 24, at Pittsburgh 20

at Cincinnati 33, Tennessee 7

Denizens, that’s really all I have time for, literally.&#160 Sorry.

This week:&#160 5-1.&#160 Overall:&#160 21-3

The PFW will return tomorrow.&#160 What I’ll talk about is anyone’s guess – I don’t even know, myself.


For those who do not follow SEC sports, Death Valley is what schools in the South Eastern Conference call the LSU home stadium in Baton Rouge. The reason? Louisiana State University has not lost a home game since 2008. That six year streak came to an end last evening when unranked Mississippi State beat number 8 LSU 34-29. The moral of the story is that is never pays to underestimate the Mississippi State Bulldogs.

Despite his best efforts, the Vicar finds himself becoming interested in college football. 🙂


Given that I still do plan to close This Fine Blog&#153 sometime next year…well, don’t ask me why, Denizens – but I just pruned the blogroll.

And if that&#160 weren’t enough – and, bah Gawd (a little Jim Ross lingo, there), don’tcha think it oughta be? – I just updated to WordPress 4.0.

Guess I’m just bored.&#160 Or maybe I don’t want to do the couple of outside chores waiting for me (given that it’s near 90 out today, with 15,000,000% humidity)…

UPDATE: On the other hand, I appear to have found a bug in WordPress 4.0…

Update the Twoth (grin):&#160 Have rolled back to 3.92 for WordPress.&#160 (And General – if you should happen by, that’s it for updates (unless we get hacked again or WP fixes the & # bug).&#160 Sorry.)

To keep The Six or Seven Of You&#153 in the loop on this – I use “ampersand-pound sign” (or hashtag, whichever floats your particular boat) codes on this site for the purposes of blog-readability.&#160 I was taught in “hah skrewl” (a little Rush lingo, there) to use two spaces after a period or colon, one space for everything else.

Browsers, it seems, don’t agree. This is an example – I just put two spaces after that last period, but you’re only seeing one.

Hence, I “force” a space after every sentence by using a macro in my text editor that generates a period-ampersand-pound sign-one-six-zero text string.&#160 (For those of you in the Church of the SubTarded, that’s “. & # 160”.)&#160 I get my readability, none of you are any the wiser.&#160 (You SubTardians ignore that last part – that would never apply to you anyway.&#160 “Wise” is not how I would describe any of you.)

WordPress 4.0, apparently, ignores the ampersand-pound sign codes, and displays them as straight text.&#160 Which, if I were to stay with it, would make this entire blog, from February 2005 on, totally unreadable.&#160 Hence, the rollback to 3.92, until such time as WP fixes that bug.

(Murphy’s IT Law suggests that WP will consider it a feature, rather than a bug.&#160 Which means I’m probably screwed, big time. (a little Dick Cheney lingo, there))

Which probably means this is my own personal “mene mene tekel upharsin”, y’think?


Denizens, I was going to pontificate at length (as we start this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153) about how Roger Goodfella Goodell had gone all pussified sexist on us and hired four bimbos women to help oversee their domethtic violenthe polithies&#160 ‘n all, and about how the witchhunt over any NFL’er who had so much as looked&#160 crossways at a woman had begun (they’ve already arrested & suspended more players), and how all NFL employees are going to have to undergo thenthitivity “awareness” training, and so on & so forth.&#160 And about how this is no longer the game with which I fell in love, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.

Then I saw this.

Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III was told by an NFL representative to flip his ‘Know Jesus, Know Peace’ t-shirt inside-out at a press conference over his dislocated ankle on Sunday, reportedly because it was not a Nike t-shirt.


Wonder if Goodfella Goodell ever paused to ponder that, if he & his minions didn’t sneer so much at The Lord Jesus Christ, there might not be so much of the shit that’s going on in the NFL right now, eh what?

Let’s get to the football.&#160 Phil Young takes my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets into battle at Farrington Field tonight against the Grapevine Mustangs.

Grapevine only won one game last year, has a new head coach and (from listening to local punditry) doesn’t quite have their legs under them just yet.&#160 Gimme Heights in another squash (which, if it proves out, will mean a complete turnaround from last year’s non-district schedule, where they went 0-4 0-3).

Sunday, Tennessee, fresh off its humiliation at the hands of the Cowgirls, visits Andy Dalton & the Bengals of Cincy.&#160 The Orange & Black are only a seven-point favorite at home – which seems to me to be a bit low – but maybe Vegas knows something I don’t.

TCU is off, so we’ll do four wildcard games this week:&#160 Bowling Green State U. and #19 Wisconsin (squash alert), Iowa at UPittsburgh, #6 Texas A&M at SMUT (Schmear Schmoo) and Central Michigan in Lawrence to play Rock Chalk.&#160 (This is Charlie Weis’ last year, you heard it here first.&#160 I don’t care if I-State did&#160 beat Iowa last week, CM’s gonna come in here and torch ’em.)

We’re back Monday (hopefully) for the recap.&#160 In the meantime…if the light truly has&#160 come on in Cowgirlville, make sure you have Demarco Murray on your fantasy team, ’cause he’s going to gash St. Louis so much you’ll be seeing Ram bone…


Denizens, I simply ran out of time to get the recap in like I wanted, so here’s the summary:

Arlington Heights 28, at Scots Valley (CA) 14

at TCU 30, Minnesota 7

at Duke 41, Kansas 3

at Fresno State 19, Nebraska 55

at Tennessee 10, Dallas 26

at Cincinnati 24, Atlanta 10

Notable in this group was that Arlington Heights is, apparently, the first Texas “hah skrewl” (a little Rush lingo, there) team to ever play a game in Californication.&#160 (I’m rather dubious about that claim, but whatever.)

Otherwise…where’s this Nebraska team been?&#160 This is what I was accustomed to seeing when the Huskers were in the PFW. (And if they keep playing like this, I may have to reevaluate leaving them out this year.)

And it looks like the light may have finally come on in Cowgirlville:&#160 Run the ball, control the clock, don’t put all your eggs in the Romo basket (IOW, don’t give him a chance to be El Choko again) and keep your suspect D off the field as much as possible.

Don’t count on it continuing – at least, as long as pass-happy Jason “Red-Headed Jeebus” Garrett is still in charge.

This week:&#160 4-2.&#160 Overall:&#160 16-2.

The PFW will return Friday, when I will muse at some length (sort of) on the further pussification of the NFL.


Denizens, this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153 begins with NFL mafia don head honcho Roger Goodfella Goodell getting caught acting like the mafia don head honcho mafia don this scribe has always thought him to be.

Recall, if you will, how the NFL just got through suspending Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice after the Ravens terminated his contract following that video of him delivering a Joe Frazier-caliber left hook to the noggin of his main squeeze.&#160 At time time, Goodell claimed that that was the first time the NFL had seen the video.

Welllllll…not so fast there, Sparky.

A law enforcement official says he sent a video of Ray Rice punching his then-fiancée to an NFL executive five months ago, while league executives have insisted they didn’t see the violent images until this week.

The official played The Associated Press a 12-second voicemail from an NFL office number on April 9 confirming the video arrived. A female voice expresses thanks and says: “You’re right. It’s terrible.”


The law enforcement official, speaking to the AP on condition of anonymity because of the ongoing investigation, says he had no further communication with any NFL employee and can’t confirm anyone watched the video. He said he was unauthorized to release the video but shared it unsolicited because he wanted the NFL to have it before deciding on Rice’s punishment.

The NFL has repeatedly said it asked for but could not obtain the video of Rice hitting Janay Palmer — who is now his wife — at an Atlantic City casino in February.

The league says it has no record of the video and that no one in the league office had seen it until it was released by TMZ on Monday. Asked about the voicemail Wednesday, NFL officials repeated their assertion that no league official had seen the video before Monday.

Soooooo…an initial slap-on-the-wrist for Rice, followed by a cover-up.&#160 “Nuthin’ t’ see here, move ‘long, we don’ know what’cher talk’n ’bout.”

Fairly typical behavior from Roger Goodfella, hm?

Let’s get to the football.&#160 My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets, having conquered a couple teams that would’ve beat the crap out of them last year, now Go West, Young Men&#153 – in this case, out Californication way to Scots Valley to play the locals out there.

I honestly don’t know who’s going to win this one – though I’m always leery about games like this.&#160 Gimme Heights and 50.

Gary Patterson’s TCU Horned Frogs are home again this weekend to play the UMinne-haha Golden Ferrets Gophers of the B1G (that’s “Big Ten” for the Church of the SubTarded).&#160 Vegas has the Froggies as a 15&#189-point favorite at home – which sounds a bit high to me, given that TCU’s still fine-tuning its offense and&#160 Boykin’s still at QB, but I guess we’ll see.

Sunday, Andy Dalton & the Cincy Bengals play host to Matt Ryan and the Hotlanta Falcons.&#160 Vegas has Cincy as a five-point home favorite.

I dunno about this.&#160 I’m not a believer any more in Matt Ryan – yet he does&#160 tend to eat up questionable secondaries – and Cincy has Terrence “Bust” Newman back there.&#160 This could get ugly.

For my wildcard games, we’re going to go with Nebraska at Fresno State (if McNeese nearly pulled off the upset in Lincoln, Fresno’s going to kill them), Kansas at Duke (the Devils get to pwn them in football, too) and the Dallas Cowgirls at Tennessee.&#160 (No, I still don’t like Widdle Jakie Locker, but Dallas doesn’t have anything this year.&#160 I seriously think the ‘Girlz may go 0-16.)

We’re back Monday or so for the recap.&#160 In the meantime, SMUT, which had June “Why Did I Leave Hawaii?” Jones just up & quit on them, is guaranteed not to lose this weekend…because (all together now)…


See ya Monday.


(The following is a column which appeared on my old web site, www.spatulacitybbs.com, on September 11th, 2001.&#160 It is re-posted now in remembrance of then.

This will very likely be the last time this ever gets posted, as I do intend to close Spatula City sometime next year.)

NOTE: This column contains some coarse language. Back out now if such language offends you, please.

I got four hours of sleep last night. I’m fighting the obligatory yearly case of tonsillitis. My throat hurts like Hell ™, my body is racked with soreness, and – not to put too fine a point thereupon – I’m in need of a tube of Prep H.

You get the idea. (sigh)

So here I am on LBJ Freeway in Dallas, plodding my way through traffic, fighting hard the urge to fall asleep at the wheel, literally. I’m listening to our sports-talk/guy-talk station on AM, the Ticket (KTCK 1310), when the sports jocks there suddenly exclaim something to the effect of, “WTF…?!”. Apparently, a heavy jet has veered off course and slammed into one of the World Trade Center twin towers in New York City.

“Wow,” I’m thinking, “they’ll likely stay with this one all day”, and I immediately turn over to the news/talk station here, WBAP 820, for all the coverage. Yes, I admit it – I’m fascinated by carnage.

At that point, though, I’m thinking tragic accident. Somebody’s plane lost its hydraulics and careened out of control, and the World Trade Center, unfortunately, was simply in the way.

That was 7:50. At 8:09, my worldview – and that of 280 million Americans, I would bet – changed radically.

At that point, a second jet slammed headfirst into the other tower. At that point, it’s not just a major tragedy. This looks just a weeeee bit too organized to be a coincidence.

It’s 8:20 when I get to the office, and I meet my buddy and old Wingtip Courier dispatcher as he’s driving up. He hasn’t been paying attention to anything. We get inside the office, and I bring him and our other compadre up to speed on things (he wasn’t listening to the radio, either, which was surprising). I go into my office and try pulling up a video stream for any of this. It’s 8:25.

Fifteen minutes later, the message is clear: America is under attack for the first time in 60 years. Yet another heavy jet has crashed – this one into the Pentagon. Reports are coming in about multiple hijackings. I’ve read a report about a worldwide alert issued last Friday concerning our resident international terrorist, Osama bin Laden, Two & two are quickly starting to come together.

(Side note: Don’t let them tell you they had no warning. I’m not kidding about that worldwide alert concerning bin Laden. They knew. Damned right they knew.)

(SECOND SIDE NOTE:&#160 As I go through the years, I’m less inclined to blame the Bush Administration than I was nine years ago.&#160 Sure, they knew it was possible, but all they had was a general warning.&#160 Nothing specific that said they were going to do what they did precisely on that day.&#160 So the Bush Administration gets a pass from me on this one.

The Demoscum, on the other hand…)

I can’t pull up anything on the ‘Net – and I have a T1 at work. The radio offers some details, but I want to know more. I run across the street to the CompUSSR to scope out the TV images.

And ohmigod – what TV images. I saw the second plane come in behind the first tower, and a plume of fire and deep black smoke explode out the other side. I saw the collapsed side of the Pentagon. I saw both WTC towers collapse – I had to ask someone if they’d collapsed all the way, so incredulous was the scene there. (A third building nearby would collapse six hours later.) I heard reports of yet another plane crash – this one near Pittsburgh. Rumor has it that the plane was headed to Camp David – we’re somewhere around the anniversary of the Camp David accords, so I hear.

Returned to work around 11:00 in a state of near-shock. Twenty minutes later, I received the go-ahead to go home. After a quick stop-off at the school to check on my wife, I arrived home and turned on the TV to Fox.

The images there were even more unbelievable than before. Fox had the direct angle on the second tower hit. They also had better angles on the collapse of both towers – although by that time, there was so much smoke & dust that one could hardly make anything out.

After a quick lunch, I sit down here to gather news stories, and I find this.

That’s right, sports fans. Here are a group of Palestinian squids laughing, dancing and cheering the attack on us, whom they call “the Great Satan”.

Compassionate people, those Palestinians.

Okay, now that I’ve bored you with my day, here’s my analysis: CNN early on was doing everything it could to avoid calling it a terrorist attack. But, Spatulaites & Spatulaettes, it’s too coordinated, too organized to be anything but. These events had to be planned months in advance. Certain people had to be installed at just the right junctures in order to pull this off – our airport security procedures, despite the fact that they’re handled by part-timers making minimum wage, are still way too strict. People who knew how to fly those planes had to arrange for passage on these planes. This would have been a major undertaking for simply one airliner – for four to have been hijacked in this manner and turned into suicide machines screams for the fact that this is more than just a Chinese fire drill.

So. Who’s got the capability to pull it off? Who has the money to train these thugs, place them right where they needed to be placed, and then turned loose? And who among them hates us enough to target us? Not to mention, who’s stupid-assed enough to try it?

If you haven’t figured it out by now, go back to school and take a comprehensive reading course. You think about it, there’s really only one man who qualifies: Osama bin Laden.

There can be no question. The mastermind behind the 1993 bombing at the aforementioned World Trade Center is so consumed with hatred for the United States that it sticks in his craw that he failed to bring us down eight years ago. So he decided to try and finish the job, gambling that we’ll be too chicken-shit to do anything about it.

(Second side note: Yeah, the Palestinians and the Taliban in Afghanistan are denying responsibility. Don’t believe the bastards. This is their baby.)

This is where George W. Bush needs to prove him wrong. Take this one to the bank, my friends: The Bush presidency – whether he believes it or not, whether he likes it or not – rides on how he handles this.

America is screaming for justice. More to the point, America is screaming for revenge. This is nothing short of an act of war. Yes, war. There’s been a formally undeclared one on us now, by most of the non-Israeli countries of the Middle East, for several years now. The Muslims hate our guts. The Syrians, the Iraqis, the Iranians – we’re their enemy. “Death To America” has been cruising at #1 on the Middle Eastern Top 40 for several years. They’re getting bolder, too – because they think we’re too cowardly to fight back. They think we’ve forgotten how to fight.

If George Bush has any balls, now’s the time to prove them wrong.

This is your solution, like it or not: Any country harboring terrorists – that would include Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Libya, Syria, et. al. – must be wiped from the face of the earth.

Scramble 30 bombers. Five warheads each – six if the plane will hold it. Bomb the shit out of these countries – get rid of these raghead bastards.

So what if you take innocents out, too? This is war, people. They don’t care about killing our innocents; why should we give a shit about theirs??

And that goes for the Palestinians, too. Let’s do Israel a favor and eliminate those sons-of-bitches from the annals of history, as well. They want to laugh and make merry at our misfortune, they need to pay the ultimate price.

Show the world some balls, George W. Teach them that there’s a price for fucking with America. Demonstrate to them that we have not forgotten how to fight!


0-16, anyone?

at Arlington Heights 36, Princeton 7

at #2 Alabama 41, Florida Atlantic 0 (Rain-shortened)

at #19 Nebraska 31, McNeese State 24

#20 Kansas State 32, at Iowa State 28

Cincinnati 23, at Baltimore 16

San Transexual 28, at Dall-ass 17

Y’know, I really thought Princeton was better than that.

Shows what I know:

A balanced rushing attack from Fort Worth Arlington Heights helped the Yellow Jackets to a 2-0 start to the season after defeating the Princeton Panthers 36-7 at Farrington Field.

Kerrion Graves led the Yellow Jackets on the ground with 90 yards on four carries, highlighted by an 80-yard touchdown run in the fourth quarter. Terrence Gilliam provided two touchdowns and 64 yards of rushing, while Deion Hair’Griffin added 62 yards on nine carries.

Arlington Heights had 400 yards of total offense, 286 yards rushing and 114 passing as Princeton fell to 1-1.

So is Heights that good, or is Princeton that bad?

Maybe we should start the chant: WE WANT ALEDO!!!!&#160 WE WANT ALEDO!!!!!&#160

A massive thunderstorm halted play between Bama & the Owls midway through the fourth quarter.

Didn’t matter.

Blake Sims had 214 passing yards and Jake Coker threw for 202 to lead the second-ranked Crimson Tide to a 41-0 win over Florida Atlantic on Saturday in a game cut short early for lightning. It’s the first time two Alabama quarterbacks had thrown for 200 yards in the same game and the second most passing yards in program history behind Scott Hunter’s 484 against Auburn in 1969.

Both quarterbacks got a chance to make a case for the Tide’s starting job in a one-sided game. The schools agreed to end the game with 7:53 left and Alabama (2-0) nearing the end zone again.

With a minute & a half left in the third quarter, K-State was 19 down to Iowa State.

Cue the massive comeback.

For about a quarter, it looked as if Kansas State was going to get run out of Ames.

The Wildcats survived a furious upset bid from Iowa State by leaning heavily on quarterback Jake Waters and a defense that shined in the second half.

Waters had an 8-yard touchdown run with 1:30 left to push 20th-ranked Kansas State past host Iowa State 32-28 on Saturday.

Waters threw for 239 yards and ran for a career-high 138 yards for the Wildcats (2-0, 1-0 Big 12). They allowed 28 consecutive points in one stretch of the first half, but Waters rescued the Wildcats with a stellar winning drive.

Waters followed a key 23-yard completion to Tyler Lockett with a 25-yard run with just under two minutes left. Then, Waters capped an 80-yard drive that took just 1:31 with his second touchdown run of the day.

Maybe N. Dakota State is&#160 that good.

Nebraska flat-out did not&#160 deserve to win this ballgame.

McNeese – that’s Southland Conference McNeese – had pulled ahead with about two & a half to play with a touchdown.&#160 Only there was a penalty on the play and the Cowboys had to settle for a field goal.

Enter…Ameer Abdullah.

With No. 19 Nebraska and McNeese State of the second-tier FCS tied Saturday, Abdullah turned a short pass from Tommy Armstrong Jr. into a jaw-dropping 58-yard touchdown with 20 seconds left for a 31-24 victory.

Abdullah broke five tackles on his way to the end zone on what may end up as the signature play of his career. As far as Abdullah was concerned, the game shouldn’t have come down to that against an opponent from a lower division.

“Very disappointed right now,” he said, “but you definitely get a little extra energy. I don’t know if it’s God pushing me a little bit more or something chemically that humans are made with that gives you a little more oomph to make the big play.”

AJ Green caught a 77-yard TD pass from Andy with under five minutes to play, and the Bengals hung on to beat the Ravens.

Andy was 25-38-301 yards, and Green had six catches for 131 of those.

Second play of the game, Demarco Murray takes the ball left on a stretch play.

Boom.&#160 Fumble, Whiners pick up and steam into the end zone.

That’s the kind of day it would be for the Dallas offense.&#160 A unit that didn’t get near&#160 enough work in the preseason, looked like it.

El Choko helped out immensely, throwing three picks.

See what happens when you hire a limp-wrist for your team, Owner Jethro?

At this rate, 0-16 isn’t out of the realm of possibility.&#160 They don’t have the easiest schedule this year, and they’re not gonna win any games playing like that.

Gotta love it.&#160

This week:&#160 6-0.&#160 Perfect Football Weekend&#153 achieved (2).&#160 Overall:&#160 12-0.

The PFW will return Friday, when we scream “Road Trip!!!!!”.


I wasn’t watching the game real close, and cannot give a play t by play, A couple of things which got my attention:

MSU elected to receive, and managed to score within the first 3 minutes of the game.

Saturday was the SEC channel’s first weekend and about the only glitch was really beyond their control. The Arkansas/Auburn game was on weather delay when the MIS/USM game began, and when play resumed, they cut back to Auburn/Arkansas for about 15 minutes.

The odds makers predicted MSU by 31 and we almost had that covered by halftime.

On a humorous note, on one play, the play interference was actually one of the referees. Dak Prescott threw the ball and the ref couldn’t get out of the way in time, and was caught between two potential receivers. Picture a maroon sandwich with a stripped filling. The ref was shook up, but was able to continue the game.

The only real problem with the high scoring game is that the Vicar had bought Mrs.Vicar a cowbell, and with every score that dang thing was rung, and rung loudly!

The current line on today’s game against Auburn is MSU by 28.


Denizens, we begin this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153…by giving one mammoth “ATTABOY!!!!!”&#160 to the Cincinnati Bengals.

The Cincinnati Bengals appeared to have moved on from former second-round defensive tackle Devon Still when they cut him this preseason. Still, 25, certainly has looked like a bust to this point in his career, and his preseason play was not an indication he had come around.

However, Sitll has had much better things on his mind than football. His 4-year-old daughter, Leah, was diagnosed with stage 4 pediatric cancer back in June.

So when training camp came around, Still lost some desire to play. The Bengals had no choice but to cut him.

I can understand this.&#160 If my son had an illness like that, fixing computers would take a backseat.

But I also see Cincy’s point of view on this.&#160 If you’re gonna play in the NFL, there’s a commitment level there that you must&#160 maintain.&#160 Any less, and you’re not only cheating the team & the ownership, you’re cheating the fans who come to see you.

Cue the happy ending.

But there’s a silver lining to this story. The Bengals re-signed him to their practice squad, and the $6,300 weekly salary and medical insurance will go a long way to help Leah. Still is eminently grateful for the team’s gesture when he knows they simply could have made what NFL teams like to call “business decisions.”

“They could have washed their hands with me and said they didn’t care about what I was going through off the field,” Still said. “It’s like a blessing in disguise for me.”

As a member of the practice squad, Still will practice with the team but not travel. That means he has more time to spend by Leah’s side. Blessing in disguise indeed.

Prayers Leah’s way.

And because of this selfless act by the Bengals…not to mention the fact that they still have Andy Dalton…Cincinnati is being added to the PFW.

They are taking the place of the Dallas Cowgirlz…who (in case you didn’t see the news from the Vicar) signed Widdle Mikey “I Kissed A Man On National TV And I Liked It” Sam to the practice squad.

“It was a little longer than I expected,” said Sam, who is trying to become the first openly gay player to participate in an NFL regular-season game. “But you know what, I’m here now, and that’s all that matters.”

So that’s it.&#160 I’m done with Dallas – for good, this time.&#160 The Cowgirlz now become a PFW “Anti-Team” – meaning they’re now this scribe’s least-favorite team, more disliked than even the Warshington Foreskins or the San Transexual Fairy Whiners.

Which, speaking of them and getting on to the actual football around these parts, is coming to the Death Star Sunday to play the Cowgirls.&#160 We’ll make this a wildcard game and pick the Whiners to win.

Cincy, meanwhile, travels to Baltimore to take on Flacco & the Ravens.&#160 Balt’s defense isn’t what it used to be, not even with Elvis Dumberass Dumervil toiling for them, so I like the Bengals here.

Friday, Phil Young & my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets are in Princeton, TX, to take on the Panthers in their season opener.&#160 Princeton isn’t bad, and I expect Heights to have its hands full.

TCU is off this week, so for wildcard games we’ll go with Florida Atlantic visiting #2 Alabama, McNeese State headed to Lincoln to get squashed by #19 Nebraska, and #20 Kansas State to go up to Ames to smack around Iowa State.&#160 (This is gonna be a long year for the Cyclones – if they can’t beat Division II N. Dakota State at home, who are&#160 they gonna beat this year? (And no, smart asses – it ain’t gonna be TCU, so don’t even&#160 go there.))

We’ll come back Monday or so with the recap.&#160 In the meantime, my Vicar is cordially invited to write anything about any Mississippi team he chooses…


Michael Sam is now a Dallas Cowboy.


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