Welcome to the Realm™ - Version 5.0...

Guys, I’m pretty much taking the weekend off (duh!) and spending time with She Whom Yolly Can Only Aspire To Be&#153.&#160 And to give you an idea of how things are going with posting around here – I haven’t even started on the Year In Review&#153 post yet.

Raise a glass, watch the ball drop, and above all stay safe.&#160 I’ll see you here sometime next year.


It would appear that Iraq’s long national nightmare is about to be over, as Saddam Hussein is about to get what’s been coming to him for quite awhile now.

All together now…


UPDATE:&#160 It beeeees a done deal.


UPDATE#2:&#160 Drudge has linked to a cellphone capture of the event.

Viewer discretion advised.&#160 (In other words, grab your friends, have a gander at justice in action and ululate to your heart’s content. &#160 )


There’s a term in music called sampling.&#160 It’s loosely defined as taking part of a musical track from one song, and repeating it over & over as the background to your own composition.

If music had not officially gone headfirst into the shitter before, it Sure’s Hell&#153 done so now.

I just heard a track from some group named “Len” called Steal My Sunshine.

In the background, I heard the sampling of – and as Cthulu is my witness, I swear I’m not making this up – Andrea True Connection’s More More More (How Do You Like It).

Pardon me while I go throw up.


Gerald R. Ford, the nation’s 38th president, and the only one to have never been elected to either executive position, has died at 93.

I anticipate I’ll have more later.&#160 Think Brutus & Caesar.


Well, it looks like Steffi the Doublewide Fat-Assed Bitch Supreme&#153 has once again prevented my son from receiving Christmas presents sent to him by yours truly.

(And this time I know for a fact it was you personally, Steffi, you miserable little shrew.&#160 Here’s a hint:&#160 try lying about your identity BEFORE you admit to being you next time, hm?)

And Steffi, just so you know what it is you kept our&#160 son from having this year, have a gander:

A Lightning McQueen (from the Disney movie Cars) interactive car.&#160 Skip probably would’ve had fun with the thing all year – and it cost you nothing.

Oh, and I also sent along one of those goofy-assed little Teddy Snowflake&#153 bears you love so much, just so you wouldn’t have to buy him one.&#160 And as unbelieveable as it might sound, Steffi, you dumbass – I actually do that to honor you&#160 in a small (very small) way.&#160 Hell – do you think I want&#160 him to be caught dead with a stupid-assed bear that would be more at home swishing about in Oak Lawn?

So congratulations on playing the role of Grinch&#153 yet again, bitch.&#160 That’s four Christmases now you’ve denied him – and me.

I just hope you have a good explanation ready for God when you die.&#160 I guran-damn-tee you – you’re gonna need it.

Stupid trollop.


This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” which means, “God with us.”

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.

After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, “Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him.”

When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. When he had called together all the people’s chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Christ was to be born. “In Bethlehem in Judea,” they replied, “for this is what the prophet has written:

‘But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for out of you will come a ruler who will be the shepherd of my people Israel.'”

Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. He sent them to Bethlehem and said, “Go and make a careful search for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him.”

After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh.

And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route.

-Matthew 1:18 – 2:12

And may God add His blessings to the reading of His word.

Merry Christmas, Denizens.&#160 This season, remember why.


Since it’s Christmas ‘n all…

This link came to me courtesy of my step-parents.

Massive, and I do mean massive,&#160 cute-overload alert!


Denizens, for the last few years there’s been a pre-Christmas tradition where Supreme General Rayegun (and General, if you’re reading this, would you mind checking in, please?) or I would post the US Military’s take on the arrival of who Vonda Shepard lovingly calls “the man with the bag”.

(Incidentally, if you’ve never heard her belt that one out, go find it and give it a listen.&#160 That’s some of the best big-band orchestra jazz this scribe’s ever heard.&#160 When the horns do their solo, crank it up and just enjoy.&#160 Damn.)

Anyway, this year it’s your fellow Denizen David Hartung’s turn to post it, and he’s done a magnificent job thereof, if I do say so myself.&#160 Good job, blog-son.

Now, hie thee hence.&#160 We’ll still be around when you get back.


Denizens, today we have an oldie-but-goodie from the Grab-Bag&#153 – this one courtesy of LC James Quick:

More »


The Department of Yet Another Half-Assed Meme Debunked has weighed in tonight with this gem about the aftermath of the raid on illegal pendejos&#160 at the Swift plants.

And surprise, surprise, surprise!!!&#160 We find that we may not need the illegal fuckwads after all!

The line of applicants hoping to fill jobs vacated by undocumented workers taken away by immigration agents at the Swift & Co. meat-processing plant earlier this week was out the door Thursday.

Among them was Derrick Stegall, who carefully filled out paperwork he hoped would get him an interview and eventually land him a job as a slaughterer.

But…but…but this wasn’t supposed to happen!&#160 These were supposed to be “jobs Americans won’t do”!&#160 We’re supposed to NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED&#160 this illegal alien labor ‘cuz Americans aren’t willing to get their hands dirty doing stuff like this!!!

Hm.&#160 “Jobs Americans won’t do”, eh, you pro-illegal-immigration shitheads?

Two of his friends had been taken away by Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents and he felt compelled to fill their rubber boots.

Dude, they’re taking money out of your pocket, food off your table and the roof out from over your head.&#160 I don’t think I’d be calling them “friends” if I were you, y’know?

Greg Bonifacio heard about the job openings on television and brought his passport, his Colorado driver’s license, his Social Security card and even a color photograph of himself as a young Naval officer to prove his military service.

“I don’t want to hassle with any identification problems because of my last name,” said Bonifacio, a 59- year-old Thornton resident of Filipino heritage.

No worries, mate.&#160 As long as you can prove you’re a citizen, I’d have no qualms hiring you.

Good luck to you, and thanks for putting the lie to yet another bullshit line from the pro-illegal crowd.


Three items before we launch the Bowl Edition&#153 of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153:

1) Despite being dominated in time of possession & number of plays, Texarkana Liberty-Eylau captured its second state football title in seven years with a 35-34 victory over Robinson in the 4A division.&#160 And the Cowboys came from behind to beat Michael Vick and the Hotlanta Falcons 38-28.

I suppose they count. &#160 That puts me at 57-24 for the year, if anyone’s interested.

More »


God bless Johnny Hart.

The man has hit the nail on the head.


Yeah, there’s stuff out there about which to pontificate, but right now allergies have rendered one eys shut and the other eye about halfway there.

(No comments from the peanut gallery about the blind leading the blind, mkay? )

We’ll start the Bowl Edition&#153 of the PFW tomorrow.&#160 Stay tuned.


Your Misha link du jour&#160 is this priceless gem from one Mr. Dan Bonaduce.

Oh, what the hell – I’ll post it here, too.

My new hero.


Over at the Rott, Imperial correspondent LC Jackboot has a great post about the Phoenix, AZ socialist indoctrination center independent school district and its plan to teach a so-called “HIV/AIDS curriculum” to first graders.&#160 It’s a good read, and well worth your time.

But my favorite part of the post is a comment from LC Beaker, who had this to say:

This year my kids (5th and 2nd grades) brought home a permission slip for me to sign that would allow the district to have a psychologist “counsel” them about a number of issues, including “family problems.” My daughter was surprised a bit when I told her to tell her teacher to go pound sand.

Just why in the ever-loving fuck a school feels the need to pry into every students personal life is beyond me, but I’ll be dammed if I’m going to give them permission to poke their socialist noses into my family’s private life. My kids go to school to learn to read and write, to learn mathematics and science and history.

They do not go to school to save the rainforest, eliminate global warming, protect the endangered three-nippled salamander, or learn how gay marriage is just as valid as the old-fashioned kind found in the Old Testament. How parents raise their kids is a private affair, and liberal, nanny-statists who think they have the right to interfere can all go fuck themselves.

And then die in a fire.

Amen and amen, Beak.&#160 Good on ya, mate.

Our kids belong to us,&#160 not the state – and the sooner the socialist shitstains get that through their thick-assed heads, the sooner they can get on with sitting behind their oversized desks and beating themselves off while fantasizing about owning us all.

Free of having to worry about how many more holes they get put in them.


« Previous Articles    
Glossary -  Disclaimer - Privacy Policy - History - The SpatulaFAQ
This blog is best viewed with your eyes. 
It helps, though, if you have Microsoft Internet Explorer  set about 1024x768 1280x1024 with your Favorites window activated on the left deactivated.  (At least until I can get a better handle on how WordPress works.)

(KORRIOTH:  Oh, great.  More wormholes.)

Mozilla Firefox doesn't do too badly, either; in fact, it's His Rudeness' browser of choice.
You can  use Nutscrape,  if you so desire - but why in blazes would you want to use a browser from a company that had to hide behind Janet El Reño's skirt to be successful?

And don't even  get me started on Opera or Chrome.  I'm not about  to trust any browser that won't let me change its color scheme.
Hacked by ZAKILOUP was based on WordPress platform 2.6 (it's 3.05 3.31 now), RSS tech , RSS comments design by Gx3.