Welcome to the Realm™ - Version 5.0...

Denizens, say sayonara&#160 to Mssrs. Proctor, Stanback & Brown.&#160 Their days with the ‘Boys are most certainly numbered.

Arlington Heights 28, Birdville 35

at Dallas 13, San Transsexual 20

New England 27, at Washington 24

UPDATE:&#160 Minne-haha 17, at Houston 10

You can see the Pats-Skins writeup here, and I’ll have one for Texans-Favres probably tomorrow morning.

UPDATE:&#160 Here’s the write-up on Texans-ViQueens.

I don’t know anymore whether Birdville is called the Hawks or the Buffaloes, but Heights gave them more than they were bargaining for.&#160 Still, the Jackets blitzed one too many times, and wound up paying for it.

Jimmy Genius would have blown a gasket by now.&#160 As it is, I saw more animation from Coach Stay-Puf one one play Saturday night than I’ve seen in the last two years combined.

Romo was pretty decent despite not having Roy Williams or Sam Hurd, even though he did throw one pick that didn’t wind up hurting them.

Here are the notes:

* Ogletree looks good. Caught a couple of medium-length balls from Romo.

Oglegree will be the fifth receiver on this squad.&#160 Austin & Hurd need to start looking over their shoulders.

* Proctor, Stanback and Courtney Brown have just played themselves off the roster. Already on the bubble and having a bad preseason, Proctor was caught holding on a Folk field goal from 49 – C’boys wound up punting.&#160 Then he mishandled a snap to Kitna in the 4Q, turning a field-goal attempt into a punt.

Stanback caught a pass from Kitna, them fumbled it – SF recovered and wound up kicking the FG, tying the game.&#160 Brown failed to intercept a pass on one play, then committed a grotesque pass-interference penalty on the next play that gave SF new life at their 35 when they were going to have to punt from deep in their end zone.&#160 SF eventually drove to the winning TD.

Enough said, I think.

*Dallas’ new emphasis on hurrying to the line has already caused SF to call two timeouts in the 1Q alone.

In a strange, bizarre way, my guess is that it will also cut down on the pre-snap penalties.&#160 We’ll see if that bears out.

*Mike Jenkins – good open-field tackle on Frank Gore deep in their territory in the 1Q to prevent a field-goal attempt. Dallas D playing well tonight.

Well, the starters did, anyway.

* Newman, Mr. Perpetually Injured, is returning punts again.&#160 GRRRRRRRRR!!!!! (On the other hand, it worked this particular time – he brought it back 50 yards or so.)

Coach Stay-Puf says he’s gonna be part of the regular punt-return rotation (according to this report).&#160 There goes our cornerback depth.

* Romo threw away four points when he passed on 3rd-and-goal in the 2Q instead of running the ball in like he should have.&#160 He needs to start running again if he wants defenders to not sit on his routes & receivers.

Else, they’re just gonna sit on his receivers and pick off everything he puts up.

* First down SF, 11 seconds left in the first half – Singletary goes for the field goal instead of taking one shot downfield.&#160 Why?

Not that it mattered.

* Backups let a fourth-string QB march down the field for two scores.&#160 Pray for the health of the starters.

Yeah, Nate Davis may be a keeper – but for now, he’s still a fourth-stringer, and Dallas let him beat them.&#160 Phillips should’ve been a lot angrier about that.

* Top draft pick Jason Williams went down in the 3Q with a leg injury.&#160 If he goes down, the C’boys basically have no draft this year.

And he’s out four to six weeks (link).&#160 We’d best hope 2010 remains an uncapped year, salary-wise.

This week&#160 0-1.&#160 Overall:&#160 0-1

I did&#160 say they started counting, right?

The PFW will return Thursday or Friday, depending on when the C’boys play the ViQueens.


Once again, Denizen & fellow blogger Alan K. Henderson conclusively proves that he Does Not Have Enough To Do&#153.

Ew.&#160 Just, ew.&#160


To amplify on what my esteemed colleague General Rayegun said yesterday, Chris Muir, not to put too&#160 fine a point on it, says it thusly:

A commenter over at Dr. Rusty’s site said yesterday:

…Shutting down the Internet is one of the things that WOULD start the rebellion/revolution that would bring the reforms which would sweep Obama and other freedom/liberty stealers from existance

…and I can’t help but agree.

If the Al-Obambi minions & sycophants thought we were “unruly mobs” before, watch what happens when you take away what has become one of our tools of Article I of the Bill of Rights.&#160 What came before will seem like a picnic in comparison.

You are One Step Closer&#153 to the Line That You Dare Not Cross&#153, leftards – and you don’t have many steps left.&#160 You cannot possibly&#160 comprehend the backlash that awaits you, douchebags, should you cross that line – so, for your own sakes, I tell you here and now that you’d best not cross it.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you.





FoxNews and CNET are reporting here and here that a bill that has been introduced in the Senate by Jay Rockefeller. Senate bill 773, aka the Cybersecurity Act of 2009 would:

offer President Obama emergency control of the Internet and may give him a “kill switch” to shut down online traffic by seizing private networks

Not on my watch!


This piece of shit legislation reeks UNCONSTITUTIONAL all over the place. If this is not a clear attempt at a total power grab by the DEMONSHITTERS and the WHINE HOUSE you obviously are a DEMONSHITTER yourself or are living in a DRUG INDUCED coma.

Attention all SENATORS who even CONSIDER voting yes on this bill. KISS YOUR JOB GOODBYE at the next election. WE THE PEOPLE will not for one iota of a second stand for this overt attempt at turning OUR country into a socialist/marxist oligarchy with Al-Obambi as your puppetmaster.

All Comm channels are to remain open until further notice.



Well, your General and the Generalette are now officially known as “un-patriotic”, “angry right-wing protesters”, and all those other bravo sierra labels the MSM wants to put on town hall attendees. We attended the town hall meeting that our US House Representative was holding at the local high skrewl (gotta put that “Rush-ism” in there for consistency). Considering that our House Rep is an outspoken Jeffersonian Constitutional conservative, the crowd was largely those of us who are of similar beliefs.

This town hall was a Q&A session rather than a single-topic event. Which of course, made for some lively discourse as the evening progressed. Both your General and the Generalette were impressed with how our congressman handled himself and some of the more outspoken critics that were there as obvious ACORN and Obamanik plants. It was as clear as the nose on my face when the donktards got up to ask a question. Problem was, nearly all of them COULDN’T form a substantive question to save their life! The insisted on tactics like “We’re in control now.” “Obama is the President so get used to it!” and other tripe of the same color. One thing that was rather interesting is that our congressman pointed out that the Constutition states that representatives and senators do not have ANY rights, only DUTIES. {Nancy “SanFran Piglosi” and Harry “Sleaze” Reid, please call your office} He also pointed out that if he or any other representative or senator (State or Federal) that doesn’t or can’t follow the edicts of the Constitution, then WE THE PEOPLE have a DUTY to see that they are removed from office by voting them OUT!

Folks, if you haven’t attended a town hall event in your area. DO SO. As responsible, informed CITIZENS it is our duty to know what our government is up to. One of the final comments that our congressman made was that because of all the town halls that have happened, it literally has certain senior officials scared silly of WE THE PEOPLE. And well they should be. As can be imagined, if Al-Obambi and his harem continue on the present path then the 2010 elections are going to be a resounding referendum on what WE THE PEOPLE think needs to be done.

As Glenn beck points out this week, question authority boldly. Get out to a town hall and ask questions.



Your General was casually reading the news on my computer when something came scrolling across that made me RCOB and then nearly call for a tactical strike team to deploy. As most of you know, both Darth and myself are rather “outspoken” when it comes to issues involving the “ed-u-ka-shun” of the young skulls full of mush (for you folks in Rio Linda that’s children). This has become even more relevant for your General since the new Generalette is herself an elementary school educator. And one who is very good at her job (no, there was not any bribing involved to get me to say that).

So, back to on topic….when I came across this article I was ready to…..well, see above.

Holy WTF are they thinking? Wait, obviously these twits over at the (U)seless (N)itwits Education, Social, and Cultural Organization (is it just me or does that name just reek of a “community organization”) do not KNOW how to think clearly. It’s blatantly ignorant beauracrappers like this that are trying to push social engineering agendas down on our childrens that created a generation of hippies and numbskulls that unfortunately have found their way into authority and insist on propagating their so-called social justice.

Folks, I know I don’t need to ask you to do this….but let others know about this. It’s bad enough when Al-Obambi and the Brown Shirt brigade try to spawn this on us, it’s worse when the Useless Nitwits want to spread it all across the globe. This needs to end a merciless death, quickly.


[SCENE:&#160 The bridge of the new Realm&#153 dreadnaught, Titanic.&#160 After a quite inglorious launch (the engines having catastrophically failed two days out from spacedock), the great behemoth finds itself back home, having been towed by a Federation tug.

His Rudeness&#153, Lord Darth Venomous, sits & broods in his command chair, eyes welded shut.&#160 One could easily mistake him for dozing, except his brow is deeply furrowed and his jaw perpetually in motion from what appears to be a grinding of his teeth.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 That’s right, Allan.&#160 And they’re gonna continue to gnash until I have something other than a fucking incompetent for a chief engineer.

[I’m deeply sorry, m’lord.&#160 Can I be of service in any regard?]

VENOMOUS:&#160 Know anything about starboard power couplings?

[Only that Cmdr. K’tinghe entered into a deal with the Federation to supply the ones for this ship.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 McManx, send a dispatch to Fleet command.&#160 K’tinghe is to be demoted to Lieutenant and thrown in the brig until further notice.

T-BONE MCMANX:&#160 Aye, sir.&#160 [Something at his console catches his eye.]&#160 Admiral, incoming message from Realm&#153 Intelligence.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Put it through to my ready room, Lieutenant.

T-BONE MCMANX:&#160 Aye, sir.

[Cut to the Admiral’s ready room.&#160 The doors part and in walks Venomous, who sits at his deak and punches up the incoming dispatch from Realm&#153 Intelligence.]

TO:&#160 Adm. Darth Venomous, Realm&#153 Fleet Operations

FROM:&#160 Realm&#153 Intelligence

SUBM:&#160 PFW&#153


It’s Zero Week in Texas.


[The Admiral grins wolfishly.&#160 Finally, he has a reason to be happy.]

Okay, guys, they start counting for real now.&#160 Everybody ready?

CREW:&#160 (nods anxiously)

Then let’s get to it.

The first regular-season edition of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153…(deep breath, exhale)…kicks off


Awright, now that we got that&#160 outta the way for the year…

…kicks off with my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets engaging – along with all other “hah skrewls” (a little Rush lingo, there) in the state of Texas – in a tradition known as “Zero Week” in the football season.

For Coach Steve Hale and the Jackets, that means a return trip to Haltom City to play the second half of a home-and-home with the Birdville Buffaloes, of the ISD with the same name.

Heights pulled the upset last year in Fort Worth, so don’t for one minute think that the Beefaloes have forgotten that.&#160 Though it pains me to do so, I’m gonna call the squash here against my boys.

Saturday night, the preseason continues for the Dallas C’boys, as the San Transexual Francisco Fairy-Whiners Forty-Niners come to JerryWorld for a Week Three matchup

MERLIN:&#160 You’re not calling them the Fairy Whiners anymore?

KORRIOTH:&#160 You’re not calling them “San Transexual” anymore?

KORRIOTH & MERLIN (together):&#160 Who are you and what have you done with Lord Venomous?

VENOMOUS:&#160 Relax, guys.&#160 As long as Mike Singletary’s in charge, they’re not the despicable, despiseable enemy they once were.

Still, they’re a rival and these are&#160 the C’boys, so I’ll probably be screaming as always.&#160 Even if it is&#160 preseason.

We’re back Sunday or Monday with the recap.&#160 In the meantime, we’re wondering if the Patriots will now change their logo to look like Teddy the Red-Nosed Senator…


Mary Jo Kopechne has, at long last, been avenged.

The fat, drunken swine who murdered her, Edward M. “Teddy the Red-Nosed Senator” Kennedy, finally received what was coming to him, 40 years after he deliberately refused to attempt the rescue of the young Miss Kopechne and allowed her to suffocate in his submerged car at Chappaquiddick, then tried to cover up his crime.&#160 Reports that he was cheating on his wife with the comely Mary Jo remain unsubstantiated, but very likely.

For the part of This Fine Blog&#153, we will treat this in the same exact way that the leftard blogs regarded the deaths of Ronaldus Magnus, Tony Snow, Paul Weyrich, Richard Nixon and just about every other famous conservative in recent times:

With much hoopla and rejoicing.&#160

Yes, I know the old adage about “if you can’t say something nice”, etc.&#160 Frankly, in this instance, I don’t give two royal shits.


The simple fact of the matter is this:&#160 you liberal pieces of shit rubbed our faces in it when Ronald Reagan, et. al, shuffled off this mortal coil, and you did so with gleeful abandon.&#160 You’ve publically wished long and/or painful deaths on Rush Limbaugh, Dick Cheney, both Bushes, etc, etc, ad infinitum, ad nauseam, for years now, and given us a royal when we so much as raised an eyebrow.

All I’m doing here is observing the Golden Rule&#153 in reverse.&#160 We on the right, whether or not we choose to admit it publically, have long waited for justice to come to that Piggish Piece o’ Pusillanamous Putridity&#153 – and it’s finally come…and damn!!!&#160 it feels good.

And if you leftist pussies don’t like it, you’ve known what you can do about it for almost seven years now:&#160 Come Say It To My Face&#153.

That.&#160 Is.&#160 All.

Hot damn!!!&#160

UPDATE:&#160 Misha has extended an olive branch of sorts and written a treatise which is well worth your time to go and read.

It is a noble sentiment, and one with which we here can agree.&#160 And so we do.


And I’m only partially kidding:

(Click on the image to see the full-sized version.)


The question has been raised – are we once again doing fantasy football?

For my part, I hadn’t planned on it, because the four-team league last year wasn’t all I’d hoped it would be.


If you guys wanna do FF, I’m up for it.&#160 Just let me know fairly quickly, so I can set something up.&#160 Here or in email – doesn’t matter, so long as you get the message to me.


Comment of the Day&#153 comes from a guy known as “V the K” over at GayPatriot’s blog.&#160 (Relax, Denizens.&#160 I’ve nothing in common with those guys, save for the conservative (on most isssues) slant.&#160 I followed a link from Michelle’s blog.)

The left really can’t stand having their own tactics used against them. The same crowd that was insisting that opposition to ObamaCare had to be “well-behaved” are the same people who buy bumper stickers reading “‘Well-behaved women rarely make history.”

Lot of “do-as-we-say-not-as-we-do”-ery on the Left, isn’t there?


They say that you need to win two of the three facets of the game (offense, defense, special teams) in order to win the game.&#160 In which case, the C’boys had damned well best win offense & defense every week – because their special teams still suck.

at Dallas 30, Tennessee 10

UPDATE:&#160 at Baltimore 24, NY Jets 23

Romo was sharp in marchine the ‘Boys to two first-half touchdowns, going 18-24-192, but with no picks or fumbles.&#160 Those “little things” of which he spoke in the off-season seem to have been addressed.&#160 And the offensive line did a spectacular job of protecting him, as well.&#160 Amazing – I had always thought Kyle Kosier was the weak link in that chain, but he may be the glue that keeps that bunch together; they protect Romo a helluva&#160 lot better when he’s in there than not, although Romo did&#160 take a shot or two last night.

The defense did well, too, holding the Tennessee starters to a field goal; only a brain fart by rookie Mike Mickens permitted the Titans to score their only TD.&#160 They got one pick (of a Vince Young pass) and pressured Titan QBs well all evening.

Barber had 32 yards and a touchdown on 10 carries, and Keon Lattimore added 33 yards on 9 carries.&#160 Felix Jones also had a touchdown on the ground.&#160 Martellus “Marty B” Bennett had 4 catches for 65 yards, leading all receivers.&#160 Dallas totaled 466 yards to Tennessee’s 191.

Some notes from the game:

* The stadium looks incredible.

It’s a palace.&#160 The view of the roof eerily resembles old Texas Stadium, but the glass on the ends somewhat resemble that of Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis.

* What did we bother getting rid of Bruce Read for? Special teams still suck (penalty on the opening reception; allowing a 60-yard return on a kickoff).

They settled down as the game went along, but they’re gonna have to get a lot better a lot faster.&#160 Joe DeCamillis has a lot of work to do.

* If we ever go back to a 4-3, I want Chuck Cecil as my defensive coordinator. Love the way his front seven crowd the line of scrimmage.&#160 OTOH, Romo could probably get ’em with a hard-count if this were a regular-season game.

* Teams had best watch the fake-inside-pitch-back on any short-yardage situation.

If I see Barber & Jones in the same backfield, that’s the first thing I cover is that pitch.

* If I didn’t know better, I’d say Nick Folk is kicking himself right out of a roster spot.&#160 Hasn’t been all that impressive this pre-season, and he just missed a 49-yarder directly on the right upright.&#160 (Yes, it’s 49 yards, but it’s usually all-but-automatic with Folk at that distance.)

Buehler had a couple of kickoffs go into the end zone last night.&#160 I know Folk’s coming back from hip surgery, but he needs to get back on track quick.

* Cowboys’ run defense looks impressive. Pass defense, not so much.
See the aforementioned brain fart by Mickens.

Penalties are still a problem for this bunch.

13 for 113 Saturday night.&#160 Looks like these guys are Raiders South.

* What the hell was Terrance Newman doing returning a punt in the third quarter?&#160 This guy’s just coming off a tweaked hamstring and he’s back there returning punts?!?!?!

Really.&#160 I know you investigate every contingency, but f’Cthulu’s sake here!&#160 We lose any of our top three corners and we’ll start making everyone look like the second coming of Peyton!

Oh, well – it was a win.

The PFW will return Friday or so for another go-round.


Little humor for your Sunday, Denizens:

Separated at birth:&#160 David “Astroturf” Axelrod and Dabney Coleman –

But can you tell which is which?&#160


What a difference a year or two makes.

Remember Cindy “Mother Shitcan” Sheehan, the Anti-War Whore&#153?&#160 Remember she was the cause cel&#233bre&#160 (did I accent the right “e”?) of the Donktards during the second Dubya term?&#160 (If you can stomach it, here’s the Wikipedia bio.)

Well, now that Bambi’s not been so quick to conpletely reverse the war policies of the Bush Administration (and, in some cases, seems intent on continuing those policies), Mommy Shitcan has apparently decided to take him on.

This morning the anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan — the woman who spent so much time leading well-publicized protests outside President Bush’s ranch in Crawford, Texas — announced that she will demonstrate next week at Martha’s Vineyard, where President Obama will be vacationing. “There are several things that we wish to accomplish with this protest on Martha’s Vineyard,” Sheehan said in a statement:

Except it’s not quiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite&#160 going over as well with the leftists this time around:

In an appearance August 18 on WLS radio in Chicago, ABC News anchor Charles Gibson was asked about anti-war protester Cindy Sheehan’s plans to travel to Martha’s Vineyard next week, where she will protest the Iraq and Afghanistan wars while President Obama is vacationing there. Gibson, whose newscast and network featured Sheehan when she led anti-war protests outside President Bush’s Texas ranch in 2005, answered, “Enough already.”

Welcome to the world of Donk prostitution, Mother Shitcan.&#160 Serve your pathetically pitiful purpose, get tossed aside like a dirty dishrag.&#160 “Thanks for your sacrifice, now get lost”, indeed.

Not quite as easy when you’re biting the hand that fed you all those years, is it, Cindy?&#160


As the pressure mounts on Al-Obambi & the Imperial Socialist Congress&#153 to get socialized medicine health care reform health care insurance&#160 reform socialized medicine passed so that Jugears McHopenchange can sign something by year’s end, yet another facet of the Ayatollah’s messianic&#160 personality has emerged.

The pussbag is a godforsaken, fucking crybaby.

President Obama took to the conservative airwaves Thursday to charge that Republican leaders are engaged in a vast right-wing conspiracy to kill health care reform in order to repeat the 1994 mid-term takeover of Congress, which followed the defeat of President Clinton’s reform plan.

Y’know, Juggy, that strategery didn’t exactly&#160 work for the Duchess Hilarious, now did it?&#160 As I recall, those of us on the right look at being part of the “Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy&#153” as an effin’ badge of honor.&#160 Didn’t exactly get us all “wee-weed” up, now did it?&#160

“I think early on, a decision was made by the Republican leadership that said, ‘Look, let’s not give him a victory, maybe we can have a replay of 1993, ’94, when Clinton came in, he failed on health care and then we won in the mid-term elections and we got the majority. And I think there are some folks who are taking a page out that playbook,” the president said.

Waaaaaaaah.&#160 Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.&#160 WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

Look here, Bambi – just what the ever-lovin’ HELL did you expect&#160 Republicans to do?&#160 Bend over and grab the ankles for that needle-dick of yours and the rest of the Demoscum?&#160 Do you honestly think we’re just going to kow-tow to your every fucking whim just because you managed to lie out your ass to a four-or-five percentage-point vote advantage in November?&#160 Have you not gotten it through your thick-assed head that it doesn’t quite&#160 work that way, buttmunch?

Damn, are you dense or what?

Appearing on the Michael Smerconish radio show, Mr. Obama said he would “love to have more Republicans engaged and involved in this process,”

Of course you do, Bambi.&#160 You want to be able to blame the GOP when you and your overwhelming majority in the House and filibuster-proof majority in the Senate ram this piece-of-shit “reform” package down the throats of the American people.

Sadly for you, though, most of the Republicans are united enough on this to see to it that this is your baby, and your baby alone.

Good luck with all that.&#160

but he vowed to win the battle, with or without support from the minority party in Congress.

Dumbass, you could win it right fuckin’ now&#160 if you wanted. You’ve got all the votes in the Imperial Socialist Congress you need, right?&#160 We can’t do a damned thing to stop you, and you know it.

So quit your bitching and pass the damned bill.

If you can.


« Previous Articles    
Glossary -  Disclaimer - Privacy Policy - History - The SpatulaFAQ
This blog is best viewed with your eyes. 
It helps, though, if you have Microsoft Internet Explorer  set about 1024x768 1280x1024 with your Favorites window activated on the left deactivated.  (At least until I can get a better handle on how WordPress works.)

(KORRIOTH:  Oh, great.  More wormholes.)

Mozilla Firefox doesn't do too badly, either; in fact, it's His Rudeness' browser of choice.
You can  use Nutscrape,  if you so desire - but why in blazes would you want to use a browser from a company that had to hide behind Janet El Reño's skirt to be successful?

And don't even  get me started on Opera or Chrome.  I'm not about  to trust any browser that won't let me change its color scheme.
Hacked by ZAKILOUP was based on WordPress platform 2.6 (it's 3.05 3.31 now), RSS tech , RSS comments design by Gx3.