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I have a losing week, and still get to declare a PFW.

Go figure.

Arlington Heights 38, Western Hills 35

TCU 14, at Oklahoma State 36

at #8 Oklahoma 13, #5 Notre Dame 30

at Nebraska 23, #22 Michigan 9

at #25 Wisconsin, Michigan State 16 (OT)

Liberty 12, at Coastal Carolina 36

at Dallas 24, NY Football Douchebags 29

I actually saw most of Cougar-Yellow Jacket.&#160 And for most of the first two-plus quarters, Heights was kicking Hills’ ass.

Then, after a long Cougar TD drive, the Jackets get the ball back…and promptly fumble it.

About that time, Hills figured out it could run on AHHS’ defense.

Western Hills (2-6, 1-4) completed only one pass. But its ground game, led by bullish fullback Aaron Stevenson, amassed 388 yards and had 10 more first downs than the Yellow Jackets. Stevenson carried 35 times for 215 yards and four touchdowns.

They’d either beat Heights to the corner on a pitch, or fake that and gash the Jackets right up the middle.&#160 One would’ve sworn it was LaDainian Tomlinson all over again vs. UTEP.

Only an Angel Gonzalez field goal with six minutes left saved Heights.&#160 That, and the fact that Hills isn’t very good, either.

—

For Nebraska, the secret is simple:&#160 Get to the other team’s starting QB.&#160 Do that, and victory is assured.

It happened last year with Braxton Miller & Ohio State.&#160 This year, Michigan signal-caller extraordinaire Denard Robinson injured an elbow and had to leave the game – after which, the Huskers rolled.&#160 Robinson’s backup, Russell Bellomy, threw three interceptions as the Wolverines could only manage three field goals.

Taylor Martinez was 14-24-166 with a touchdown & a pick.&#160 Running back Ameer Abdullah ran 24 times for 101 yards (Martinez added 58 on 14 carries).

—

Michigan State followed that formula against Bucky.&#160 Once they got Joel Stave out of the game in the second half, the Badgers had no choice but to turn back to backup Danny O’Brien – who will never make anyone forget namesake Davey.

To give you an idea of how bad it was…Bucky rushed for a total of 19 yards.&#160 No – that’s not a typo.&#160 The team that ran over, around & through TCU two years ago in the Rose Bowl could only manage 19 rushing yards total against the Spartans.

One gets the impression that there are going to be wholesale changes in Madison in the off-season – starting with the offensive coaching staff, particularly the line.

—

When you’re getting beaten by a team called the Chanticleers, it’s bad.

Coastal Carolina’s LaDarius Hawthorne intercepted a pass and returned it 66 yards for a touchdown on Liberty’s first possession, and the Chanticleers put away the Flames with 21 second-half points in a 36-12 victory on Saturday.

Jeremy Height ran for 99 yards and touchdowns in the second and third quarters for Coastal Caroliina (4-4, 2-1 Big South). The Chanticleers outgained the Flames (3-5, 2-1) 226 yards to 86 on the ground.

Next stop for Turner Gill:&#160 Running backs coach.&#160 (sigh)

—

Honestly, I didn’t think Notre Dame was that fast.

Shows what I know.

On the other hand, Bob Stoops’ program has once again been exposed as an also-ran.&#160 Can beat the weak-sisters-of-the-poor, can beat TU (but I repeat myself) – but put them up against a quality team, and they wilt.&#160 Landry Jones pretty much cemented in everyone’s mind that he might make it in the NFL as a backup.

Might.

The way he played Saturday night (35-51-356-no touchdowns), he couldn’t have beaten out Stephen McGee for the Dallas Cowgirlz’ third-string.&#160 And McGee got cut.

And then, he had the gall to show a little arrogance after the game.

“We’re better than we were at the start of the season,” Jones said. “We hit a bump in the road. Maybe the national championship’s not in the picture, that’s probably gone, but we still have the Big 12 and a bowl game up in front of us.”

Landry, m’boy?&#160 Perhaps you might google “Kinsler, Ian”.

—

El Choko was, once again, El Choko.

Four picks.&#160 One a pick-six.

Toss in a fumble by Felix “Bust” Jones, and an apparent touchdown catch by Dez Bryant where he just had&#160 to brace his fall with his right hand – right on the cusp of the end boundary – and it’s yet another loss to the Douchebags, who’ve never lost at Owner Jethro’s Mausoleum.

(Oh, and don’t even&#160 get me started on “Big Clusterfuck” Bryant.&#160 Runs the wrong route on El Choko’s first pick, muffs a punt that he tried to catch over his shoulder, then fumbles it when he does&#160 get control of it…this asshole’s my sixth receiver on a five-receiver depth chart.&#160 I’m serious – I cut the motherfucker tomorrow.&#160 He hurts my team more then he helps it.&#160 I can find kids off the street who’ll make the same fuckups for a lot less than Bryant will.&#160 And they&#160 won’t be half as arrogant.)

And afterwards, there’s Owner Jethro once again, sniveling about how “disappointed” he was that his Folly&#153 “din’ win da bawwwwl gayyyme”.

Fucking asshat.&#160 How about you get, y’know, actually pissed&#160 about it and start making some heads roll, eh, you effin’ Arkans-ass moron?

Worthless piece of shit.

And then there’s Jason “Red-Headed Jesus” Garrett, pissing & moaning about how they “need to get better”.

For about the 20th week in a row.

Same stump speech.&#160 Same bat-time.&#160 Same bat-channel.&#160 Stop me if you’ve heard it before.&#160 ‘Cause I know I&#160 have.

He sounds boring.&#160 The Cowgirlz play&#160 boring.&#160 I’m about to the point where I wanna throw them out of the PFW, ’cause I can’t stand to watch them.

Fuck’m.&#160 Just fuck’m.

—

As much as it pains me to say this…I think TCU’s already won all the games it’s going to this year.&#160 And though that means no bowl for the Frogs, I just don’t see how they’re going to scratch out one more win with a lineup of freshmen & sophomores against the teeth of a Big XII schedule.

They started off great against Okie State – then just collapsed.&#160 Score the first 14, give up the last 36.&#160 And Okie State’s not really that good, and&#160 they were going with a starting quarterback that hadn’t played in six weeks, and still&#160 did that to the Frogs.

Just get ’em ready for next season, Gary Patterson, and don’t worry about this one.&#160 You didn’t ask for half your team to go choom themselves off the roster.

—

As bad as all that was, it’s still a Perfect Football Weekend&#153, just for this one result:

at Penn State 23, Ohio State 35

Thank you, Urban Meyer.

Braxton Miller does stuff you can’t teach, and No. 9 Ohio State is riding its Heisman Trophy contender to a memorable season — despite the limitations.

Miller ran for 134 yards and accounted for three touchdowns a week after getting knocked out of a game, leading the Buckeyes to a 35-23 victory against Penn State on Saturday.

Ryan Shazier returned an interception 17 yards for a score early in the third quarter that gave the Buckeyes (9-0, 5-0 Big Ten) the lead for good, and the Nittany Lions (5-3, 3-1) and coach Bill O’Brien had their five-game winning streak snapped in a matchup of the Big Ten’s bowl-banned perennial powers.

This week:&#160 3-5.&#160 Perfect Football Weekend achieved (executive fiat) (3).&#160 Overall:&#160 35-21.

The PFW returns for a special Saturday edition.&#160 Primarily ’cause Heights loses Saturday this coming week, instead of Friday.&#160 See you then.

No time for much of anything, Denizens, so here’s what we got: Heights beat Western Hills last night, so that’s one.

Today, TCU’s at Oklahoma State, OU has Notre Dame in Norman (book this one for the Sooners – ND can’t match up with OU’s speed), Nebraska gets Michigan in Lincoln (probably a Wolverine win here), Michigan State gets fed to Bucky at Camp Randall, and Turner Gill’s LIberty Flames go for four in a row at Coastal Carolina.

Sunday, it’s the New York Football Douchebags&#153 at the Cowgirlz without Sean Lee.&#160 I don’t give a shit, necessarily, who wins – but if Vickie Cruz tries that little samba dance, I want a Cowboy to go for his knees.

We’re back next week with something resembling a recap.&#160 In the meantime, I remind my staff (and my Denizens) that PFWs aren’t solely my domain.&#160 That’s what I have comments for, and I’m sure my cracked staff (grin) has some teams they follow…right?

Denizens, the time has come to add a new voice to This Fine Blog&#153.

Welcome, please, Rachel Higgins from the accreditedonlinecolleges.org site, who will be writing a guest post or two here.

MERLIN:&#160 Anything to get out of your writing duties, eh m’lige?

VENOMOUS:&#160 Damn straight.

Now, one caveat, Denizens:&#160 Her submissions here may not be what you’ve come to expect (i.e, it’s not necessarily gonna be Right-Wing Rant-age-ery&#153 (grin)).&#160 Don’t worry – I haven’t lost my mind.

MERLIN:&#160 Competely.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Yet.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Hush, you.

Anyway, welcome, Rachel.&#160 Glad to have you on board.

Take your lumps now, Froggies.&#160 As long as you start delivering them in 2013.

Arlington Heights 13, OD Wyatt 41

at #23 TCU 53, #17 Texas Tech 56 (3OT)

at #9 Oklahoma 52, Kansas 7

Nebraska 29, at Northwestern 28

at Wisconsin 38, UMinnesota 13

at Liberty 21, Concord 13

Dallas 19, at Carolina 14

Damn.&#160 When you lose to O-D-Freakin’-Wyatt…you suck.

Like I said Friday, Todd Whitten, enjoy your year here – you won’t get another one.

—

Sirchauncey Holloway rushed for two touchdowns as Liberty defeated Concord 21-13 Saturday in a nonconference game.

(Hat tip ESPN.com)

—

Kansas may have a chance under Charlie Weis someday.&#160 Maybe.&#160 If OU loses 90% of its scholarships, perhaps.&#160 And if the game’s in Lawrence.

Not Saturday, though.

Landry Jones threw for 291 yards and three touchdowns with no interceptions as Oklahoma improved to 14-0 under coach Bob Stoops in games immediately after the Longhorns matchup.

“It wasn’t hard to stay focused on Kansas. We know that Notre Dame’s a great team but we’re a great team also,” Finch said. “So, we just wanted to close out Kansas and we know that the game ahead of us next Saturday is going to be a crazy game.”

James Sims ran for 102 yards and a shutout-preventing touchdown run in the fourth quarter for Kansas, which lost its 16th straight conference game and 27th out of the last 28.

That, and a punt & kickoff return (both for scores) sealed Rock Chalk’s fate.

—

Taylor Martinez may have finally come of age Saturday.

The Cornhuskers (5-2, 2-1 Big Ten) rallied from 12 down in the fourth, taking a one-point lead when Martinez hit Ben Cotton with a 7-yard pass with just more than 2 minutes left, and hung on when a 53-yard field goal attempt by Northwestern’s Jeff Budzien barely missed wide right with 1:10 remaining. That kept Nebraska in the thick of the Legends division race after being blown out at Ohio State two weeks earlier.

The Cornhuskers can thank Martinez for that. He led them to two touchdowns in the fourth quarter and completed 27-of-39 passes in the game, helping Nebraska rack up 543 yards of total offense.

And even at that, it took N’western missing a field goal attempt to seal the win.

Seriously, Huskers.&#160 Northwestern really ain’t that good.&#160 You guys should be 2-0 against them in the Big Ten, not 1-1 and damned near 0-2.

—

Wisconsin was finally Wisconsin against UMinne-haha Saturday.

James White raced 15 times through Minnesota’s defense for 175 yards rushing and three touchdowns, carrying Wisconsin to a 38-13 victory over Minnesota on Saturday, the ninth straight time the Badgers have beaten the Gophers to keep Paul Bunyan’s Axe.

Montee Ball let his partner steal the show for most of the afternoon but still muscled his way for 166 yards on 24 attempts and two fourth-quarter scores to put the game out of reach and push the Badgers (6-2, 3-1 Big Ten) to their 21st win in a row at Camp Randall Stadium.

And that’s&#160 the ground game I’ve been expecting from Bucky for a while now.

—

Dallas was…bleh…on Sunday.

They still commit dumb-assed penalties.&#160 They still can’t block for the run.&#160 They still have trouble protecting El Choko (although, to be fair, they kept him upright Sunday).&#160 And they still allow quarterbacks & wideouts to play pitch & catch.

That said…Carolina helped them out.&#160 Cam Newton was positively awful in that game.&#160 He had a couple of good runs, and a nice pass or two, but for this guy, a former #1 draft pick, to have this kind of day against a team that he should&#160 have dominated (even moreso when Sean Lee went out with a toe injury)…sad.

But that’s the kind of year it’s going to be for the Panthers.&#160 At least they’ll get another high draft pick out of it.

—

The General advises me that the Generalette is, shall we say, very interested in my take on Frog-Raider Saturday.

Now, I only caught snippets of the game, the Mrs. and me having been invited to a birthday dinner out in Far West Fort Worth/Benbrook (very close to the old digs where SCBBS all started twenty years ago).

But I will make two observations:

1. A wholly intact Frog team – and this means no drug bust back in the spring, Tanner Brock and the rest of them never get removed from the team, no Casey Pachall DUI bust/subsequent suspension and departure, Stansly Maponga not injured, etc. – would have destroyed Tech, and it wouldn’t have even been close.&#160 As much as this loss tears my insides up like a cheese grater, I can at least take solace in that Tuberville’s crew only won by three, in three&#160 overtimes, playing basically the equivalent of a JV squad.

2. Tech & the rest of the Big-However-Many-There-Are had best get ready.&#160 Because in two or three years, when these guys are all upperclassmen, the Frogs are gonna make that national championship run.&#160 Meaning, we’re gonna be treating the conference like the old Mountain West.

So get your lumps in now, guys.&#160 In two years…it’s payback time.

This week:&#160 5-2.&#160 Overall:&#160 32-16*

(* At least, I think&#160 that’s what it is – kinda difficult to go back over the last couple weeks, for obvious (if you’ve been keeping up) reasons.)

Now that we’re back in the swing, the PFW will return Friday, when we’ll celebrate Homecoming Week.&#160 See you then.

First there is this, which claims that our elections are being monitored because conservatives are trying to intimidate voters.

Then today we see this and we learn that there are indeed voters being intimidated, but it is conservatives who are the victims!

The more news I see, the more I realize that the American left, led by President Obama has the goal of taking control of our nation by any means necessary. When they have this control, whatever liberty we have left will be done away with, all in the name of protecting us from ourselves.

At the suggestion of his Nastiness, I am reposting something posted earlier to Facebook.

Red meat for the conspiracy theorists:
http://dailycaller.com/2012/10/21/cbs-news-affiliate-calls-2012-presidential-race-for-barack-obama-weeks-ahead-of-election/#ixzz29zjdB7c

I am not one who sees a conspiracy in every media story, and  strongly suspect that this was a practical joke on the part of some KPHO employee. However, I can’t help but wonder if in the joke there is not a revelation that our “impartial media” is anything but.

Though I am not the big Football fan in this forum, I must point out that Mississippi State goes into this weeks match-up against Alabama with a 7 and 0 record. This is the second time since 1895(the start of MSU football) that the school has accomplished such a feat. I think it safe to say that Dan Mullens is doing a god job.

Unfortunately, Alabama is also undefeated and against them MSU cannot afford to take a quarter off, like they did against Middle Tennessee. They are going to have to play 4 quarters of all out quality football, if they hope to repeat the results of 1980.

For your Sunday, Denizens – and since I know that at least some&#160 of youse guys (mheh) will be doing this this weekend – a short primer on the art of changing oil.

Below the fold, ’cause it’s kinda long – but a good read and always well worth your time, because I said so.&#160

OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS FOR WOMEN

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.

2) Drink a cup of coffee.

3) 15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

MONEY SPENT

Oil Change $20.00 Coffee $1.00

TOTAL $21.00

OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEN

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50 00

2) Stop by 7-11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20.00, drive home.

3) Open a beer and drink it.

4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5) Find jack stands under kid’s pedal car.

6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7) Place drain pan under engine.

8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

9) Give up and use crescent wrench.

10) Unscrew drain plug.

11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.

12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.

13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.

14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.

15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.

16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.

17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener.

18) Sunday: Skip church because “I gotta finish the oil change.” Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it to be recycle!

19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.

20) Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.

21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer.

22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.

23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

24) Remember drain plug from step 11.

25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard, along with drain plug.

27) Drink beer.

28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily dirt into hole. Steal sand from kids sandbox to cleverly cover oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas.

29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.

30) Drink beer.

31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.

32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.

33) Begin cussing fit.

34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.

35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes.

36) Beer.

37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.

38) Beer.

39) Beer.

40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.

41) Beer.

42) Lower car from jack stands.

43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.

44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23 – 43.

45) Beer.

46) Test drive car.

47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.

48) Car gets impounded.

49) Call loving wife, make bail.

50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

MONEY SPENT

Parts $50.00 DUI $2500.00 Impound fee $75.00 Bail $1500.00 Beer $40.00

TOTAL — $4165.00

BUT YOU KNOW THE JOB WAS DONE RIGHT

Snort.&#160

This happened yesterday morning at the State Fair of Texas.

Man, they’ll fry anything there these days.&#160

Denizens, at the moment I’m up past my scalp in alligators, so that’s why posting’s been DamnedNearNonExistent&#153.&#160 With any luck, things will lighten up a bit next week.

For now, TCU has Texas Tech at home, Rock Chalk gets fed to OU in Norman, Nebraska’s at Northwestern (you’d damn well better win this&#160 one, Pelini), Wisconsin keeps Paul Bunyan’s Axe vs, UMinne-haha, Turner Gill’s Liberty Flames go for a three-game winning streak vs. Concord (no SpatulaLine – I like Liberty straight-up), and if Jason Garrett ever wants to be taken seriously as a head coach, the Cowgirlz will win in Carolina Sunday.

Oh, and Heights lost again – this time to OD Wyatt. (Enjoy your one year here, Todd Whitten.&#160 You ain’t getting another.)

I’ll have something resembling a recap, hopefully Monday.&#160 Maybe I’ll only be up to my ass in alligators by then…

Some of you may remember that I have been in a course of instruction, which will ultimately lead to my ordination and installation as a Lutheran pastor. That day has finally arrived. On 11 November 2012 at 1600 I will be officially ordained and installed as pastor of the church where I have been serving for the past three years. During that time my official title has been that of  vicar, which is what led His Nastiness to christen me with that name on this fine blog. As a matter of housekeeping, in this realm, I will remain Vicar.

Those who find themselves in my neck of the woods on the appointed day, consider yourself invited to the service.

Last evening, in the last seconds of the Mississippi State, University of Tennessee game, we saw this:

State was already three points up, all they had to do was to keep the ball away from UT. As luck would happen, this guy was open, and State won 41-31. We are now 6 and 0. Next week, we have a chance to be 7 and 0. The following week we play Alabama. On that game, all bets are off.

Not quite as easy when your All-Universe&#153 offense is going against an experienced&#160 defense, is it?

BWAH-HAHAHHAHAHAHA…!!!!1!!ELEVENTEENTYMILLION!!!!!111!!~

Rather blatantly highjacked from FB

Little Johnny even gets it right!!!!! Must be a TEXAS boy!
—————–
A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans.

Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for little Johnny. The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different.

Little Johnny said, ‘Because I’m not an Obama fan.’

The teacher asked, ‘Why aren’t you an Obama fan?’


Johnny said, ‘Because I’m a Libertarian.’


The teacher asked him why he’s a Libertarian.

Little Johnny answered, ‘Well, my Mom’s a Libertarian and my Dad’s a Libertarian, so I’m a Libertarian.’


Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, ‘If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?’


With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, ‘That would make me an Obama fan.’
————–

ZING!

Trillions in debt.

Running billion-dollar deficits out the effing wazoo.

The United States credit rating downgraded twice&#160 in his four years occupying the White House.

A laughingstock overseas.

A United States ambassador (J. Christopher Stevens) murdered, sodomized, dragged through the streets of Libya and Cthulhu knows what&#160 else.

Other US embassies attacked, vandalized and torched.

And all B. HUSSEIN!!!&#160 Obambi can come up with…is Big Bird.

Nice.&#160