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As we start the 2nd half of the back-to-back Perfect Football Weekend&#153, we once again enlist the services of the He Ain’t All That & A Bag O’ Chips Department&#153, which brings us yet more lamenting about the Washington REDSKINS, YOU FUCKING LIBERALS!!!&#160 slide into oblivion:

For the sixth time in the past seven seasons, the Washington Redskins will finish last in the NFC East division. With four wins against 11 losses, the team has little at stake in Sunday’s season finale against the playoff-bound Dallas Cowboys.

But unlike last season, when a poisoned relationship between then-Coach Mike Shanahan and quarterback Robert Griffin III undermined the Redskins, no single relationship or failing explained Washington’s futility on the field in 2014. Instead, a series of shortcomings proved insurmountable: injuries, instability at quarterback, poor discipline among players, ill-advised play calls and friction in the locker room, to name a few.

Such hurdles are routinely overcome by better NFL teams, but they proved too much in Washington, where losing has become ingrained in the environment of a once proud franchise.

You are encouraged, as our old frenemy Straight Up With Sherri used to say, to go read the rest.

For my part – how many times have I told anyone who would listen that The Second Coming Of The World’s Greatest Ever Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever!!!!!&#153, aka ARRRRRRRRRRR GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!, that he wasn’t&#160 the greatest thing since sliced bread?&#160 That the only reason he is where he is right now is because of one game against an inexperienced TCU secondary playing its first game together?&#160 And that one of those touchdowns was an illegal double forward pass?&#160 And how, had Ross Evans been able to kick his way out of a paper sack, that Griffin would not have won the Heisman?

Anyone?&#160 Anyone?&#160 Bueller?

I’d give this a WITY&#153 – but I’ve already given it one, so what’s the point?

Let’s get on with it.&#160 With the end of TCU’s season, there’s one Core Team&#153 left – the Cincinnati Bengals – and their run will end Sunday in Indianapolis as they begin/end the playoffs against the Colts.

For the wildcard games

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, we’ll take the Arizona Cardinals to win in Carolina, Pittsburgh to end Baltimore’s year at Heinz Field, and Detroit (specifically, Megatron) to be too much for Dallas’ secondary.

For colleges

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, I like #19 Auburn over #18 Bucky in the Outback Bowl (I imagine the Tigers watched that Ohio State film) and #14 UCLA to edge #11 K-State in the Alamo Bowl (the Wildcats have problems with quality quarterbacks).

We’ll have the final recap & benediction Monday or so, as this is (in all probability) the last ever episode of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153. Be here!


Another WITY&#153 in the books, Denizens.

Canyon Randall 35, Wichita Falls Rider 28

#5 TCU 48, at Texas 10

Cincinnati 14, at Tampa Bay 13

at #1 Alabama 55, #15 Auburn 44

at Iowa 34, Nebraska 37 (OT)

at #14 Wisconsin 34, #18 Minnesota 24

Revenge acquired for Arlington Heights; thank you, Randall HS.&#160 We’re done with the high-schoolers ’til next year (if&#160 there’s a “next year” – jury’s still out on that).

No 109-yard comeback for the Tigers this&#160 year.&#160 Roll Tide!

I swear to Cthulhu – something’s wrong with Andy.&#160 Not even in his early days at TCU was he this&#160 bad.&#160 Granted, it looked like he was playing with the flu Sunday – but this goes beyond that.

Three more picks (all in the first half), and had they not been playing the Yukkaneers, it could have gotten even uglier.&#160 As it was, they had to come back from 10 down to win by one.&#160 (Think he got that from Gary Patterson.)

Too much Melvin Gordon, who damn near outrushed the entire Gopher team all by his lonesome (151 to 177 for UMinn).

Bucky now plays The Ohio State University&#153 for the B1G cham-peen-ship.

Speaking of Gary Patterson – for all the hullabaloo (ki-neck, ki-neck – sorry, little A&M lingo there) surrounding the revamped Frog offense, it’s still that swarming 4-2-5 defense that is TCU’s calling card.&#160 And with the exception of one bubble screen that went for a 73-yard score, that calling card got shoved up the Longhorns’ ass Thursday.

Six turnovers (including four picks, one a pick-six) four sacks of Texas QB Tyrone Swoopes – who will&#160 eventually be good, he just has growing pains like every other young quarterback – and an efficient (if not spectacular) effort from Trevone Boykin led to the Frog romp.

Give Iowa a defense, and there’s no telling where the Hawkeyes could go in the B1G.

But they don’t

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, and when Nebraska kicked the tying field goal following a 35-yard bomb from Tommy Armstrong to Brandon Reilly

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, one could pretty much tell that the Hawkeyes were going to piss this one away.&#160 Good teams don’t surrender 10-point fourth-quarter leads to teams like Nebraska.

This week…

MERLIN:&#160 Uh…m’lord?

VENOMOUS:&#160 Yes, Wizard?

MERLIN:&#160 The WITY&#153…?

VENOMOUS:&#160 Oh, right.&#160 Good catch.

Remember I said that we were witnessing the last days of Pelini’s reign of error in the Corn Nation?

Two days after the Husker win…

Bo Pelini was fired on Sunday, ending the seven-year run of the polarizing figure as Nebraska’s football coach.

“We weren’t good enough in the games that mattered,” athletic director Shawn Eichorst said in his meeting with the media that lasted nearly 35 minutes. “I didn’t see that changing at the end of the day.”

Translation:&#160 they were getting stomped in those big games (see: Nebraska 24, Wisconsin 59).&#160 That was becoming the rule rather than the exception.&#160 This is why Bo got shown the door.

So?&#160 What’d I Tell Ya&#153?

This week:&#160 5-1.&#160 Overall:&#160 65-19-1.

The PFW will return Saturday (or maybe Friday evening, who knows) to discuss the likelihood of TCU’s first major-conference championship in nearly 20 years – and the requisite gloating.&#160 See you then.


Denizes, as we start the Holiday Edition&#153 of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153, it is time for yet another WITY&#153.&#160 Someone else besides me has finally&#160 figured out that The Second Coming Of The World’s Greatest Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever!&#153 – aka ARRRRRRRRRRRR GEEEEEEEEEEEEE THREEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!1!!!ONE!!~ – isn’t all that ‘n a bag o’ chips.

Only this&#160 time…it’s his head coach.

If Jay Gruden’s stinging words this week about quarterback Robert Griffin III have not resonated, team sources tell ESPN that the Washington Redskins coach is prepared to speak louder if the third-year quarterback does not perform more consistently Sunday against the San Francisco 49ers.

That means Griffin could be yanked Sunday in favor of Colt McCoy, who is 2-0 as Griffin’s sub, or an evaluation will be made to make a move next week.

Gruden’s criticism has cited a breakdown in fundamentals, Griffin’s inability to overcome adversity and even that he has been “coddled.”


Through four games, Griffin has thrown for 763 yards , with 2 total touchdowns, 3 interceptions and a QBR of 34.2. The Redskins are 0-2 since he returned from a dislocated left ankle.

I have long told anyone who would listen that the only&#160 reason Robert Griffin III was in the position he’s in was because of one game – the 2011 season opener against TCU.&#160 He had a decent enough game against an untested, inexperienced secondary…and at that, one of those touchdown passes was an illegal double forward pass.

Add to that the fact that Ross Evans couldn’t kick his way out of a paper bag, and what should have been a 51-50 TCU win turned out to be a 50-48 Baylor victory, and the birth of a pseudo-legend.

Well, after an admittedly successful rookie year, the NFL has had a chance to figure out ARRRR GEEEE THREEEEEE!!!!&#160 That, plus an injury has resulted in Grifiin, who (believe it or not) actually has a statue&#160 out in front of Baylor’s new stadium, turning into another Andre Ware (great college QB, not so much in the pros).&#160 They’ve figured out that if you want to make Griffin mediocre, keep him in the pocket.

And, earlier this week, coach Gruden did, in fact, pull that trigger:

The quaterback for the future for the Washington Redskins might not be in the locker-room as they believed.

Robert Griffin III, the Heisman trophy winner and top draft pick for Washington has battled injuries and a constant rotation on coaches and offensive coordinators. His days might be numbered as of this week.

After getting back in the line-up after battling injuries, Griffin will be finding himself back on the bench again.

When the Skins play the Indianapolis Colts this Sunday, journeyman Colt McCoy will be the starting quarterback. McCoy has played well when asked to play this season in Griffins absence.

Well?&#160 What’d I Tell Ya?&#153

Let’s get to the football.&#160 It’s Thanksgiving, so while we’re not&#160 chronicling the Dallas Cowgirlz this time around (even though they’re at home versus Filthydelphia), we are&#160 talking about Gary Patterson’s fifth-ranked TCU Horned Frogs as they’re in Austin against the Texas Longhorns T-Sip Shortdicks.&#160 TU’s defense is improved from a few weeks ago, but Vegas still has the Frogs as a 6&#189-point road fave.&#160 May come down to Jaden Overkrom again, we’ll have to see.

Cincinnati’s pretty much got a gimme this week, as they travel to Raymond James Stadium in Tampa Bay to play the Bucs.&#160 Andy, can you bring back one of those pirate wenches when you get back to Fort Worth?

MRS. VENOMOUS (with cast-iron skillet):&#160 HEY!!!!!!!


Arlington Heights is out of the playoffs, so we’re going to go with plan R – for Revenge.&#160 Wichita Falls Rider, which beat Heights last week, is up in the regional playoffs in Lubbock this week against Canyon Randall HS.&#160 GO RANDALL!!!!!

For the wildcards this week, we’re going with top-ranked Alabama hosting #15 Auburn (Bama’s has not forgotten that 109-yard failed-field-goal return from last year

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, and they’re out for revenge, as well), Nebraska at Iowa (the Huskers’ collapse continues as we observe what’re probably Pelini’s last days) and 18th-ranked Minnesota going to Camp Randall to get steamrolled by #14 Wisconsin (I’d love to see Minnehaha win here, as it helps TCU, but you’re not beating Bucky in Madison.&#160 Ain’t happening).

We’re back Monday with the recap.&#160 In the meantime…Vicar, how do you handicap the Egg Bowl (#19 Ole Miss vs. #4 Mississippi State)?


Denizens, remember last year when I lamented what it appeared one Destiny Hope “Miley” Cyrus was turning into?

Shame, Miley. Given who your dad is, we out here were hoping you’d spare us a modicum of angst by not becoming a clone of Britney Spears. That you might grow up to be someone we’d want our daughters to emulate – someone wholesome, upright, even pure (relatively speaking, anyway).

Guess we can’t have everything we want in life, huh?

Well, Denizens?&#160 Chalk up yet one more WITY&#153 for Der Spatulameister (hat tip:&#160 411mania):

Miley Cyrus is a “pothead” and apparently she doesn’t care who knows it.

At least that was the “party line” at her private 19th birthday bash last week at the Roosevelt Hotel Beacher’s Madhouse Club in Los Angeles. In a video obtained exclusively by Flash, when Kelly Osbourne presents a cake to Cyrus emblazoned with the face of a ganja icon, the former “Hannah Montana” star cracks, “You know you’re a stoner when friends make you a Bob Marley cake — you know you smoke way too much f***in’ weed.”


Of late, it seems the former child star has gone to great lengths to distance herself from a clean pop image, including hosting “Saturday Night Live” this year and dissing Disney child actors. Can another “SNL” sketch with dead-on Cyrus impersonator Vanessa Bayer be in the works?

Can a prison career a la&#160 Lindsey “My Breasts Have Been a Big Hit” Lohan be far behind?


Denizens, remember when Desperate Nymphoid&#153 Eva Longoria – she who dumped her husband so she could go shack up with French-born San Antonio Spurs guard Tony Parker – said this about him?

“He’s very sweet,” she says of her French-born boyfriend. “I’m the experienced one. I’m the teacher, especially about love. He’s always telling me he’s never met anyone who loves the way I do – wholly and freely and unconditionally.”

Well, it looks like ol’ Frenchie took to his lessons very&#160 well, hawhawhawhaw!!!

Brent Barry’s father, NBA Hall of Famer Rick Barry is worried his son will be devastated by the news that his wife Erin was having an affair with Tony Parker. Barry played with Parker from 2004 to 2008, and he is currently in the middle of his own divorce from Erin.

Live by the extra-marital affair, die by the extra-marital affair.

Though I (curiously) didn’t blog on it at the time, I was telling whoever would listen to me that this marriage would last three years, tops.

And the news came down just a couple days ago – the marriage is done, over, toes up, fini.

Karma’s kind of a bitch, isn’t it Eva?



As if on cue.

Remember, Denizens, when I said:

Well, here’s a question for you: what if the Yankees & Red Sox don’t ever trail Texas this weekend – or worse, bomb the crap out of the pitching staff? What if the Rangers never even get the _chance_ to use either Oliver, Frankie Frank or Feliz? (It’s less of a chance this year than prior years, but work with me here.) You will have then wasted a chance to win a game you should have won, all for a scenario that never presented itself.

Noo Yawk won Friday’s rain-shortened, six-inning game, 5-1.&#160 And won today, 7-3, after leading most of the day, 7-0.

Tomorrow’s matchup is the Yankees’ patient offense vs. Rich Harden, who hasn’t proven yet he can put people away if he doesn’t strike them out.&#160 I tend to think that’ll be a bloodbath, too.

UPDATE:&#160 And they get swept, 5-2.&#160 Mheh.&#160

Well?&#160 WITY&#153?

Somebody needs to go buy me a swami’s hat ASAP.&#160


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