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Well, Denizens – tomorrow is The Big One&#153 for the Donktards.&#160 Tomorrow begins the 2008 Demoscummic National Convention.

Or, to be rather blunt about it, B. HUSSEIN!!!&#160 Obambi’s coronation as Lord Messiah of the Jackasses.

Now, in the spirit of bipartisanship&#160 (*cough*), I’d like to offer the Democratics some of My Eternal Wisdom&#153.&#160 Advice that doesn’t&#160 involve a vibrator, a vise clamp and a sulfuric acid enema (grin):

Donks.&#160 You are but days away from deciding whom you will throw send up as your candidate for President of the United States.&#160 This is one of the most important decisions many of you will face in your lifetimes.

But consider where you stand as of this moment, as you try to win back a White House that has been your party’s for only 12 of the last 40 years.&#160 The presumptive nominee, B. Hussein Obama, has seen what was once a 20-percentage-point lead in the polls shrink to two or three points; in some polls, he even trails John McCain by as many as five points.

He has just chosen a running mate, Joe Biden of Delaware, who has as much baggage as Paris Hilton on a good day.&#160 He is a known plagiarizer, a racist, a hothead, a stream-of-consciousness rambling buffoon – and while he may be somewhat knowledgeable concerning foreign policy, it’s a knowledge with a leftist worldview in most cases, which is flawed to begin with.&#160 The one foreign policy area where he seems to have his head on straight is in an area you despise – he voted for the Iraq war, in direct opposition to your nominee.

In fact, Senator Biden even questions Senator Obama’s fitness for the presidency – and I quote:

“If the Democrats think we’re going to be able to nominate someone who can win without that person being able to table unimpeachable credentials on national security and foreign policy, I think we’re making a tragic mistake…” (Sen. Joe Biden, “The Diane Rehm Show,” 8/2/07)

And again:

Biden Attacked Obama For Voting Against Funding U.S. Troops In Iraq And Afghanistan, Accusing Him Of “Cutting Off Support That Will Save The Lives Of Thousands Of American Troops.” Biden: “And, look, Tim [Russert&#160 -ED.], if you tell me I’ve got to take away this protection for these kids in order to win the election, some things aren’t worth it. Some things are worth losing over. That would be worth losing over. Hundreds of lives are being saved and will be saved by us sending these vehicles over which we are funding with this supplemental legislation. And I want to ask any of my other colleagues, would they, in fact, vote to cut off the money for those troops to protect them? That’s the right question. This isn’t cutting off the war. This is cutting off support that will save the lives of thousands of American troops.” (NBC’s “Meet The Press,” 9/9/07)

(Credit:&#160 GOP.com.)

As it stands now, Donk delegates, your candidate is fighting a seriously uphill battle.&#160 Absent a catastrophic gaffe by John McCain – which, admittedly, is&#160 possible – Obama is going to lose this election, and it’s not going to be that close, either.

And this is with a conservative base that positively hates&#160 McCain.&#160 Imagine where you folks would be with an energized&#160 GOP base constituency.&#160 Which, I might point out, is not yet completely out of the realm of possibility.

In this scribe’s view, the Democratic Party has one chance…and only one chance…to even get a sniff&#160 of the White House come January 2009 – and that is this:

Nominate Hillary.

The Duchess (as I like to call her) is as close to the White House as your party has been in 40 years (with the exception of Carter, and many of us wonder if he was ever all there), having lived there for eight.&#160 Despite her status as First Lady, she was more than somewhat involved in the day-to-day operations of the government, including foreign policy.&#160 She understands, at least in part, the principle of the 3 a.m. phone call – unlike Obama, who apparently thinks 3 a.m. is only for sending cutesy little text messages.

She knows how to campaign, and she has the best chance of defeating McCain in November, regardless of what you all may believe.&#160 She is less likely to wither under pressure, and doesn’t need a teleprompter to speak to the American people – qualities that Obama has already shown he lacks in abundance.

There’s still time.&#160 The delegates are already committed, but the superdelegates, who can do whatever they want, regardless of how their state voted, are not yet so.&#160 It should still be possible to bend the ears of more than a few of them who had previously committed to Obama and put the fear of Cthulu in them.

Get to them.&#160 Bend those ears.&#160 Talk some sense into them.&#160 Make them vote for Hillary.

Do so, and you still have a chance to win the November general election.&#160 Fail, and you may not see the White House again in your lifetimes.

The choice is yours.&#160 Choose wisely.

UPDATE:&#160 One more thing I might point out to you guys:

By pulling that little 3 a.m. text message stunt, Obama added insult to injury to Hillary and her supporters.

Not only was she not chosen as running mate – she wasn’t even considered, apparently in direct contrast to what it seems she was promised – that being to at least be considered for the post.&#160 She wasn’t even vetted.

And then for Obama to pull that 3 a.m. stunt…

It should go without saying that supporters of Hillary right now are furious.&#160 They’ve taken to calling themselves “PUMA”s – Party Unity, My Ass.

Many of Hillary’s supporters are women.&#160 And Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

I’m just sayin’, that’s all.&#160 You guys have now been warned.

I don’t personally agree with the following, per se. Because you just DO NOT mess with that particular document.

What I DO AGREE with is the message that this update is conveying.

So here is an updated version of the PREAMBLE to the Constitution, as well as eleven Articles of Non-Rights:

‘We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights.’

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone — not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes. (This one is my pet peeve…get an education and go to work… Don’t expect everyone else to take care of you!)

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we’re just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don’t be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don’t be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won’t have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. (AMEN!)

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don’t care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from!

(Lastly….)

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country’s history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!

Denizens, The Six Or Seven Of You Who Still Read Me&#153 may remember that some time back, This Fine Blog&#153 rated a whopping 31.4% on “The Blog & Website Cuss-O-Meter”, presented by the fine folks at OnePlusYou.

At the time, I opined that:

I’m not fucking trying fucking hard enough.

Well, it seems that business is picking up as we approach election season:

Created by OnePlusYou

Now.&#160 That’s fucking more like it.&#160

Denizens, once again this week I got nothin’.&#160 (And again, having to work OT will do that.&#160 Plus, the Sibling Unit&#153 and his beloved are cooking dinner for me tonight.)

Therefore, I have a list of reading assignments for you:

Misha

Misha again

Misha one more time

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 You gonna let him do all&#160 your work for you, m’liege?

LSIK&T:&#160 Yes, until you get off your lazy ass and fix that chronometric particle generator like I asked you to do last week.

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 (ulp) Uh, aye, sir.

Coldfury

BlackisWhite

Now go.&#160 Shoo.

ThatIsAll&#153.

Drudge is also reporting that B. HUSSEIN!!!&#160 Obambi has selected Evan Bayh as his running mate, based on a picture of a bumper sticker rumored as being printed en masse&#160 at a Kansas City firm.

This when conventional wisdom was pointing to an Obambi-Little Joey “The Plagarizer” Biden ticket.

Sheesh.&#160 A simple solution like this, a slam dunk, and Frankie Flopears still&#160 fucks it up.

What a m’roon…&#160

UPDATE:&#160: The SpatulaGoddess reports that conventional wisdom has, in fact, held – Biden’s the choice.

Let the plagiarization jokes commence…&#160

Item:&#160 Oil took a nosedive today, dropping a big, honking…

…wait for it…

…six dollars & fifty-nine cents.

Okay, all well & good.&#160 Anytime oil drops in price, it’s a good thing.

What they’re not&#160 telling you, though, is that on Wednesday, it rose&#160 five ‘n change.

MERLIN:&#160 Uh, m’liege…?

LSIK&T:&#160 Yes, Wizard…?

MERLIN:&#160 Read a little bit further, sir.

Friday’s losses came after a big climb in prices earlier in the week that had been supported by rising tension between the United States and Russia, the world’s second biggest oil producer.

Oh.&#160 Well, okay, so they did&#160 tell us.

Here’s the point, though:&#160 We’re pretty much back where we started at the beginning of the week.&#160 Why is this news?&#160 And why did it rate a red-letter mention on Drudge (which is where I got this)?

C’mon, Matt.&#160 It’s not that&#160 slow of a news day.

This week’s edition of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153 begins on a sad note.

We note (and mourn) the passing of NFL Players Association leader and Hall of Famer Gene Upshaw at his home in California from pancreatic cancer.&#160 Gene Upshaw was 63.

Upshaw’s outstanding 15-season playing career was entirely with the Oakland Raiders and included two Super Bowl wins and seven Pro Bowl appearances. Upshaw’s biography was posted on the front page of the Hall of Fame Web site Thursday along with his enshrinement speech from 1987.

In 1983, he became executive director of the players’ association and guided it through the 1987 strike that led to replacement football. By 1989, while the union was pressing in court for a settlement, the league implemented a limited form of freedom, called Plan B. In 1993, when a new contract was finally hammered out, free agency and a salary cap were instituted.

Since then, the players have prospered so much that NFL owners recently opted out of the latest labor contract, which was negotiated two years ago by Upshaw and Tagliabue.

Despite all that Upshaw brought the players, he was roundly criticized for supposedly being “too soft” in negotiations:

Upshaw was criticized by some for not being tough enough in talks with [former NFL commisioner Paul] Tagliabue, a close friend. He also was blamed by many older veterans for not dealing sufficiently with their health concerns.

He never took criticism lightly and often said what he thought – without weighing the consequences from a public relations standpoint. Once, when he came under fire for the problems of retired players from Joe DeLamielleure, also a Hall of Fame guard, Upshaw retorted: “I’d like to break his neck.”

Upshaw was tough enough to have the players sit out half a season one year, so I wonder how tough he had to be.

The Realm&#153’s thoughts are with the Upshaw family this evening.&#160 Gene will be missed tremendously.

On to the PFW.&#160 Tonight, the Fairy Whiners of San Transexual visit Soldier Field to take on the Chicago Bears (the game’s on Fox).&#160 Shame they couldn’t put San Transexual’s mayor, Gavin Newsom, on the roster and in the game for this one night.&#160 I’d pay real money to see Brian Urlacher get a shot at His Weenieness.

Friday night will have Phuckadelphia visting the NE Pansies in a rematch of Super Bowl 30-something, Tennessee will travel down to Hotlanta to take on the Falcons (once upon a time this would have been a great game – Vince Young v. Michael Vick.&#160 Pity, now), and Green Bay will travel to Denver to (hopefully) shove the ball back up the Broncos’ piehole.

Then there’s my&#160 game of choice this weekend, also on Friday night, as the Outer Rim Houston Tex-annes come to Dallas to take on the C’boys.

The ‘Boys are starting to look really banged up a bit, which isn’t good.&#160 Starting CB Terrence Newman’s already out a couple more weeks with that groin problem; WR Miles Austin’s got a partially-torn MCL, and now LB Anthony Spencer has just had his&#160 knee scoped and will miss about a month.&#160 Not a good way to approach Opening Day.

But for the game, here’s the deal:&#160 It will not be enough to see the ‘Boys win.&#160 They’re going to have to win and make Tex-anne cornerback (and former C’boy) Jacques Reeves look like blackened cajun cornerback whenever he’s in the game.&#160 Do those two things, and this PFW will count towards the yearly stats.&#160

Saturday’s games include the Battle of New York as the NY B-R-E-T-T-S-BrettsBrettsBretts!!! “host” the NY Football Douchebags (well, I guess someone&#160 has to take the visitors’ lockerroom), Cleveland-Detroit, KC-Miami, Jacksonville-Tampa Bay, Washington-Carolina, N’awlins-Cincy, Steel-ViQueens, Ray Lewis & His Band of Fellow Thugs (Baltimore) at St. Louis, and Da Raiiiduhs&#160 hosting Arisona.

Sunday night will have Buffalo at the Colts (will Peyton finally show up?), and Monday has the Seahags traveling south to play the Bolts.

We’re back Tuesday for the recap.&#160 In the meantime, I’ll be seeing if I can find some way to get out to New Mexico next weekend for TCU’s opener…

Denizens, I got nothin’ tonight (2 hours of brutal overtime will do that), but I’ve been holding onto this story for a while, and now seems like a good time to unleash it.

At least two counties in California have begun reviewing a plan to uphold the state’s laws regarding marriage as being between one man and one woman and disregard a state Supreme Court opinion that has yet to be implemented by the Legislature.

In the next step in the state’s war over marriage – defined by voters as involving only one man and one woman and by the Supreme Court as two people of either gender – traditional marriage supporters will be attending the Kern County board of supervisors meeting tomorrow when the issue will be discussed.

Go read the rest.&#160 We could learn a thing or two from Kern County, California.&#160 Such as how to tell black-robed Nazi tyrants they can shove their attempts at unlawful social engineering back up their putrid pieholes.

Good on you, Kern County.&#160 You guys are in our prayers.

How refreshing to see that little has changed in the NFL.

Philthydelphia 24, Carolina 13

Tennessee 17, Oakland 16

Washington 13, NY B-R-E-T-T-S BrettsBrettsBretts 4 10

Tampa Bay 27, NE Pansies 10

NY Football Douchebags 37, Cleveland 34

Dallas 13, Denver 23

Jake Delhomme made his return for Carolina and looked…well, like a quarterback coming off an injury.&#160 IOW, he didn’t suck, but he wasn’t all that great, either.

A lightning storm chased the players off the field during the first quarter.&#160 Mother Shitcan would’ve called it “a little wind & rain”.

…

We have ourselves a JoMarcus Russell sighting!

Russell started for Oakland – and looked pretty good at times.&#160 On one touchdown drive, he rolled left, then fired a bullet back across to the right to a not-too-terribly-covered Zach Miller.

He was only 10 of 17 for 75 yards – but I imagine that’ll get better as he goes along.

…

Memo to Green Bay:&#160 Yes, I know you wanted to go with Aaron Rodgers – but His Almighty Favreness still has something in the tank.

Just 10 days after being acquired from Green Bay, Favre finished 5-of-6 for 48 yards and the touchdown. He said his arm felt fatigued early in the week, but looked strong in his two series. He lasted 14 plays after coach Eric Mangini said he expected Favre to take 8-12 snaps.

“I felt like I threw the ball well, moved around OK,” he said. “Ten days ago, I was doing yard work.”

The other Brett, Ratliff, threw for 148 yards, including 71 on the final drive.&#160 Mike Nugent’s 23-yard FG attempt hit the upright as time ran out.

…

The post-Super Bowl hangover continues for the New England Pansies.&#160 Brady didn’t make the trip, and Matt Cassel flat-out sucked.

With the 2007 MVP [Tom Brady&#160 -Ed.] sitting out for the second straight week, the defending AFC champions sputtered with backup Matt Cassel running the show in a 27-10 loss to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on Sunday night.

“I think it was pretty obvious we’ve got a lot of work to do, based on tonight, in all three phases of the game,” said Belichick, who played down the significance of Brady not playing.

Brady remained at home, reportedly to rest a sore foot, and Cassel had limited success moving the ball against a feisty Bucs defense that scored on his third-quarter fumble and intercepted the first pass thrown by successor, Kevin O’Connell.

…

The zebras are still slurping the balls of the Douchebags; Brandi Jackoff is still a pussy and a hot-shit wannabe; the D-bags’ O-line still holds on every friggin’ play, and Ewi is still a pansy.

Problem was, Cleveland played worse.&#160 A lot&#160 worse.

New York’s 37-34 exhibition victory Monday night was made easier by the Cleveland Browns, who had a season’s worth of mistakes in little more than a quarter, including 98 penalty yards and a fumble that resulted in a 95-yard TD for the Giants.

That return gave New York (1-1) a 30-3 lead less than a minute into the second quarter, one that second- and third-stringers barely managed to maintain.

That return came after Cleveland’s Syndric Steptoe brought back a kickoff 90 yards for a near score.&#160 Nothing went right for the Browns last night, and that sequence typified it.

The bad news is that the D-bags won’t be as bad as their third-stringers.&#160 The good news is that they’re nowhere near that good to begin with.

And as soon as the zebras start calling the games properly&#160 last year’s fluke factor will be evident to all.

…

I’m not all that concerned over the Cowboys’ suddenly woeful offense.&#160 I’m only minorly pissed that an undersized Denver outfit pushed them around, both offensively & defensively.&#160 And I’m hacked that the special teams did only marginally better than last week.

But this is what worries the hell outta me:&#160 Tony Romo has stopped running.

Case in point:&#160 2nd quarter, C’boys ball, 3rd-and-4 at their 26.&#160 Romo evades the rush, scrambles to his right, where he’s got all day to run – then pulls up short and badly overthrows Sam Hurd running a post.

The old Romo would have run for the first down.&#160 I dunno who&#160 this guy is.&#160 But I do know that when Romo doesn’t run, the C’boys don’t win.&#160 Keep your eyes on that going forward.

The officiating sucked as badly for us as they did for Cleveland.&#160 There were more phantom pass-interference calls, as well as a couple of bogus personal-foul calls.&#160 Meanwhile, Denver’s shit didn’t stink as far as the zebras were concerned.&#160 Ed Hochuli – if you paid as much attention to your eyesight as you do your biceps, you might&#160 make a halfway-decent referee.

Bruce Read needs to go as special teams coach.&#160 Even when the C’boys do something right – they blocked a punt in the third quarter – they found a way to fuck it right back up (the punter caught his own blocked punt and raced 29 yards up the backs of the Cowboy punting unit which was setting up a return).&#160 Read just needs to go.

And why the Hell&#153 are we still lining corners up 15-20 yards off the receiver?&#160 Do we really want our opponents playing fucking pitch-and-catch all day long?&#160 Dave Campo, are you listening?

The PFW returns on Thursday.

Denizens, the Line Of The Day&#153 comes from this comment by “catchem” from an Obambi thread over at Free Republic:

A friend just notified me that after a speech to a gathering of Native Americans, Obama was presented with a plaque stating that his name would henceforth be ‘Walking Eagle’.

When asked the significance of the name, a spokesman said it signified a ‘stutting bird too full of shit to fly’.

I’m fortunate to know several of Dallas’ finest in blue.

No, not as a perp, thankyouverymuch&#153.&#160 I’ve had opportunity to meet several cops in the course of what I do.&#160 In addition, I had a pair of uncles who worked in Ft. Worth and other county departments.&#160 Moreover, several bloggers with whom I’m somewhat acquainted belong to the Blue&#153.

All of them, I’m certain, are properly embarassed by this.

(Here’s a YouTube vid corresponding to the story):

A Texas couple, whose sick dog died as the pair waited along a Texas roadside while a police officer wrote them a speeding ticket, said they are not satisfied with how the officer involved was reprimanded and believe he should be fired.

Michael Gonzalez and his girlfriend were pulled over as they raced to an animal hospital, near San Marcos, Texas, allegedly at speeds up to 100 mph, Aug. 5. Gonzalez is seen on the police dashboard camera screaming hysterically that the dog, a 3-pound teacup poodle named Missy, was dying.

We’ll forget, for a second, the emotional attachment Gonzalez & his girlfriend had to the dog.&#160 For that alone, this power-hungry Nazi-in-blue should fry, job-wise.&#160 We’ll forget, for just a brief moment, that Gonzalez & his girlfriend actually, y’know, loved&#160 this beautiful little puppy and were actually, y’know, trying to, like, save her life.

Teacup poodles are a relatively rare breed.&#160 According to this site, they can run upwards of $4,000.

Lemme say that again.&#160 Four.&#160 Thousand.&#160 Dollars.

This swastika-behind-a-badge just caused this young man to lose a very&#160 expensive animal.&#160 One for which he may very well have had to save a lot of hard-earned money.

And then, just so Sgt. Billy-Bob Bad-Ass could add insult to injury – you know, twist the knife a little further – he adds this little blurb:

“It’s just a dog, you can get another one,” Officer Paul Stephens is heard saying.

“It’s just a dog, you can get another one.”

A beloved pet.&#160 Who just happened to cost between $2,500 and $4,000.&#160 An animal you just don’t replace with a trip to the local shelter or the ASPCA, either for the emotional attachment or the financial one.

“Just a dog, he can get another one.”

Denizens, I’m sorry, I can’t type any effin’ more tonight.&#160 I can’t see past the RCOB.

(Hat tip to the SpatulaGoddess (long may she exude ginormously massive quantities of hawtness – especially as long as I can get these tidbits from her (grin)))

Denizens, I’m going to see this.&#160 I’m going to be there on October 3rd when this thing opens up.&#160 I don’t care where it is; I don’t care how far I have to drive to see it; I don’t care how long the line is in which I have to stand; I don’t care how much the tickets are – I’m going to see this.

The Department of Ambulance-Chasers On Parade&#153 brings us this Banal Basket of Bogus-tude&#153 about a guy who blew his brains out over a car.

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 Must not have noticed that the light had changed.

LSIK&T:&#160 (spew!!!!!)&#160

KORRIOTH:&#160 Shore leave for this man!&#160 Shore leave!!!

LSIK&T:&#160 (still doubled over) Muah-hahahaha…(gasp…!!!) Granted.&#160 Ozy, get thee to a sanatarium posthaste.&#160 Or Risa, whichever comes first.

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 &#160 Thank you, m’lieges.&#160 See you in a couple weeks.

…okay, where were we?

An East Texas car dealership has settled a lawsuit filed by the widow of a man who killed himself after dropping out of the business’ “Hands on a Hardbody” contest.

What was this?&#160 First prize is a pickup; second prize, a few hundred thousand dollars from a judgement?

MERLIN:&#160 What was third prize?&#160 Half of Bill Gates fortune?

LSIK&T:&#160 One wonders, doesn’t one?

Details of the settlement between Patterson Nissan and Chalala Gutierrez, the wife of contestant Richard Thomas Vega II, will be confidential.

They’d damn well better be, I’d think.&#160 Otherwise, potential customers might take to suing them for tripping over their own shoelaces during test drives.

Court documents show damages sought in the lawsuit included funeral costs, lost income of about $600,000 and court costs.

MERLIN:&#160 How much of that is gonna go back home to support la familia???

KORRIOTH:&#160 Did anyone bother checking to see if she’s even permitted to be here?

LSIK&T:&#160 Probably not.&#160 That’d be so racist, don’tcha know?

Attorney Adam Allen said the dealership was happy with the result.

C.D. “Chuck” Cowan, one of the attorneys representing Gutierrez, said the settlement resolved all the allegations in the lawsuit.

Hey, I gotcha resolution right here:&#160 Dealership pays the bimbo nothing, and then sues the trollop and has her ass thrown in the hoosegow for filing a freakin’ frivolous lawsuit!&#160 How’s that for a resolution?

MERLIN:&#160 Won’t work.&#160 Makes too much sense.

The suit, settled late Thursday, focused on the contest in which the person who kept their hand on the vehicle the longest won a Nissan truck and other prizes.

Vega dropped out of the 2005 endurance contest just before a scheduled rest break 48 hours into the event.

Okay, it’s tough and a damned shame ‘n all, but endurance contests aren’t for everyone.&#160 It’s not a catastrophe to lose an iron-man contest like that, is it?

Apparently for this guy, it was:

Witnesses and law officers say Vega crossed the street and broke into a Kmart, where he took a gun from a case and shot himself.

Okay, so what we’ve got here is an East-Texas looney tune.&#160 He ain’t the first, nor will he be the last.&#160 And the dealership is supposed to pay for that?

Gutierrez alleged in her suit that the dealership was negligent in organizing and conducting the contest. She said the dealership failed to “provide a safe environment for contestants” and did not provide personnel to restrain contestants who “temporarily lost their sanity.”

Someone should have up-front told this bitch that:&#160 a) you can’t lose something you never had in the first place, and b) apparently whatever insanity it was is contagious, because now she’s&#160 got it.

The lawsuit likened Vega and other contestants’ stress and sleep deprivation from the contest to ‘brainwashing.’

Oh, that is such bullshit.&#160 If that was the case, how come no one else in the contest went and took their own lives, as well?

This is why society can’t have fun anymore – because there’s always some professional offended people&#160 seemingly under every rock, and an anbulance-chasing pissweasel champing at the bit to represent them and try to pilfer from the deep pockets.

This Cupid Stunt&#153 needs to have her ass thrown back across the border (whether it came from there or not), and her fuckstick of an attorney strung up by the thumbs.

Stupid-assed dumbshit motherfuckers.&#160

Great Honkin’ Cthulu, you people do.&#160 Not.&#160 Know!!!!&#160 how badly I was hoping this would happen.

Background:&#160 About a month ago, there was a brouhaha of Olympic-sized proportions when he got his probably illegal or anchor-baby ugly ass kicked off the US Olympic boxing team for leaving training camp.

The excuse?&#160 Oh, boo hoo hooooooo, his widdle sister was in rehab and ¡¡¡ELLA LO NECESITADA POR SU LADO, MALDITA SEA!!!&#160 (translation:&#160 NEEDED HIM BY HER SIDE, DAMMIT!!!)

He begged to come back.&#160 Pleaded.&#160 Cajoled.&#160 The US Olympic Committee, for once in it’s miserable existence, stood firm.

So the little prick-ito did what any little Messican boy of his stripe nowadays would do:&#160 He hired a couple of ambulance-chasers attorneys, implying that he might sue.

Well, it was apparently enough for the spine of the USOC to suddenly change back into linguini, as they subsequently reinstated the punk.

All the Olympic-sized soap opera one could ever hope for – which, today, proved to be all for naught, as Yanez just got finished having his gangsta ass handed to him.

Shawn Estrada and Luis Yanez both lost their second-round bouts Saturday, leaving only two American boxers in the Olympic tournament.

Estrada was handed an 11-5 loss by James Degale of Britain in the middleweight division and Yanez suffered an 8-7 setback against Serdamba Purevdorj of Mongolia.

Justice.&#160 Buford…T…Justice.&#160 There is&#160 a God.&#160

Item:&#160 A Dallas banker purchases the house formerly owned by the late Stanley Marcus (for the Uninitiated&#153, that’s the&#160 Stanley Marcus of Needless Markups Neiman Marcus fame).&#160 He announces plans to demolish the house, citing “energy concerns”.&#160 Maybe it’s a bugger to heat & cool, I dunno.

Because it’s supposedly an historical landmark (why, I’ve no clue – I mean, I know the rich worshipped ol’ Stanley, but really, now), the banker sent notification to the Texas Historical Commission.&#160 This triggered a 60-day waiting period, after which no one had a whole lotta say-so in whether he razed the house or not.

Item:&#160 A number of “preservationists” – i.e, a hornet’s nest worth of fucking nosy-assed busybodies who apparently have nothing better to do than wring their hands in severe angst over property that’s not theirs and try and tell the owners of said property what they ought to should must&#160 do with said property, scream bloody murder about the proposed razing.

Stanley Marcus’ Lakewood house, for decades the most glamorous residence in Dallas, may be torn down by the couple that once spurred efforts to preserve it.

The announcement by Dallas banker Mark Lovvorn, who bought the house from Mr. Marcus in 1994, brought a mixture of shock, surprise and anger from preservationists statewide.

Now, before you try and point out to me, “well, Thpatth, weren’t they the oneth who wanted to pretherve it in the firtht plathe???&#160 Hmmmmm?” – Yes, they did.&#160 But if they’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not worth the effort, or cost-effective, or whatever…well, isn’t that their right to make that determination AS THE EFFIN’ PROPERTY OWNERS?????

Moreover, if it is truly their&#160 property, who the Hell’s business is it what&#160 they do with it? (Subject to zoning restrictions, of course, but that’s not relavant here.)

Katherine Seale, director of Preservation Dallas, called the decision “tragic.”

“In a list of significant houses in Dallas, this is right at the top,” she said. “This is one of the few private residences that can truly be said to define Dallas.”

Oh, but aren’t you having your lapdogs in Dallas local government spend as-yet-untold millions & millions&#160 of dollars to build a park with a toll road that has a designer bridge inside a levee that’s gonna flood every fucking time it rains more than .1 of an inch?&#160 Isn’t all that&#160 supposed to be what “defines Dallas” for the next half-century or more?

C’mon, you high-horsed nose-in-the-air bimboids, make up those ditzy minds!

Jerrie M. Smith, Mr. Marcus’ daughter, said she was shocked by the news that the house may be demolished.

“I would think when you buy a house like that that, you would try to preserve it,” she said.

Really?&#160 I&#160 would think – being a bit more grounded and practical about it, dearie – that when you buy a house and a tract of land, you’ve paid for the right to do whatever the hell you want with it.

But then, whadda I know?&#160 I’m just a right-wing deathbeast who believes in quaint notions like liberty, capitalism and the right to do what you want with your property after you’ve paid for the right with the sweat off your brow.

Damn&#160 that pithy, pesky little concept called freedom!

But now, we find that all the whining from the busybody assholes had something of an effect on the linguini spine of the banker:

An embattled Mark Lovvorn said Friday he had changed his mind about demolishing the house built by legendary Dallas retailer Stanley Marcus and will withdraw an earlier notice of that intent to the Texas Historical Commission.

[…]

“Dallas is a city that is dear to us and we will always remain sensitive to the feelings of its citizens,” Mr. Lovvorn said in a brief statement e-mailed to The Dallas Morning News. “Our greatest desire is to maintain a consistent testimony for Christ in all of the issues of life and, in this circumstance, we feel that a strong spirit of cooperation best accomplishes this.

“We will therefore be happy to work closely with the city and state that we love as we explore restoration plans for our home.”

Asked if he was leaving open an option to demolish the house in the future, Mr. Lovvorn took a long pause, then said, “No.”

I lost a lot of respect for this excuse-for-a-man right there.&#160 He was in the right, and he let the pressure from the snot-nosed buffoons get to him.

And this thing about “Christian testimony” – sorry, I don’t buy it.&#160 I’m pleased he’s a Christian and all, but this had nothing to do with his Christian walk, and I have a feeling he knows it.&#160 This was nothing more than a cop-out, and a wishy-washy, half-assed attempt to please a bunch of jackoffs who had absolutely zero&#160 business sticking their collective nose where it didn’t belong.

And the fact that this linguini-spined banker guy caved and reversed himself like a pussy leaves one helluva sour taste in my mouth.

Fucktards.