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[SCENE:&#160 Deep inside that sector of the Fifth Intergalatic Realm&#153 known as the Southern Command.&#160 Slow pan to a point about 140 degrees from the opening shot.

We then see a spatial displacement come into view.&#160 The translucent shimmer becomes the faint outlines of an image, which then coalesces into an oversized, seemingly-upside-down Klingon Bird-of-Prey.

Cut to:&#160 the bridge of the recently repaired ISS Pegasus, which has just decloaked someplace it was not previously known to be.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 And that’s a problem, Narrator?

KORRIOTH:&#160 Well, we usually file a flight plan with someone, y’know.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Look, Bumpy, when I go on vacation, I don’t give a shit if anyone&#160 know where I’m gonna be…

K’HADIBAK’H:&#160 Uh, guys…

KORRIOTH:&#160 …you know, so a certain Black Helicopter Fleet&#153 isn’t tempted to engage in…

[At that very moment, the bridge is rocked violently, back & forth.&#160 Cut to previous external view, and the Bird-of-Prey is now surrounded by what seems to be four Husnock warships, each taking turns firing on Pegasus.

Cut back to Pegasus’&#160 bridge.]

KORRIOTH:&#160 …target practice.

K’HADIBAK’H:&#160 Four warships, Admiral.&#160 IDs… [Kha double-checks his board] …it’s the Black Helicopter Fleet&#153, sir.

T-BONE McMANX:&#160 Admiral, we’re being hailed.

VENOMOUS (with a very&#160 annoyed look on his face):&#160 (sigh) On screen.

[On the viewscreen, space is replaced by a very familiar image.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 Supreme General Rayegun.

RAYEGUN:&#160 What did I tell you about coming through the Southern Command&#153 without proper permittage-ery?

VENOMOUS:&#160 And what did I tell you about the Southern Command&#153 being part of my&#160 Realm&#153?

[The Supreme General of the Realm&#153 renders what could only be described as a smart-assed smirk.]

RAYEGUN:&#160 Damned straight, Narrator.

VENOMOUS:&#160 I do&#160 hope you’re enjoying your new toys, General.&#160 Figures you’d hog ’em all and not share…

RAYEGUN:&#160 Funny you should mention that…

[Cut to external view.&#160 Yet another spatial displacement shimmers & coalesces into a fifth Husnock battlecruiser.

Cut back to Pegasus’&#160 viewscreen.

RAYEGUN:&#160 Meet your new flagship, Admiral – ISS Vengeance.

[It’s a Realm&#153 first:&#160 Admiral Darth Venomous…is speechless.]

RAYEGUN:&#160 What did I tell you, Korrioth?

KORRIOTH:&#160 Five hundred credits on their way, General.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Wait.&#160 You had a bet&#160 on this…?

[Rayegun & Korrioth look away & adopt feral grins as we fade to black…]

IN THE SOUTHERN COMMAND – She had been christened Excelsior II.

That was before I got it out on Texas State Highway 130.&#160 (For the Uninitiated&#153, that’s the Austin-to-San Antonio toll road, where the speed limits run up to 85.&#160 Not that anyone ever observes them…heh…heh…heh…)

This car makes the original Excelsior&#160 feel like driving my old Cavalier.

Damn.&#160 Just, damn.&#160

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3 responses to “The new ride”

  1. FYI denizens. The Admiral was NOT the only one to receive a new flagship. He’s just jealously trying to copy me…..

    THIS is my new conveyance.

  2. David Hartung says:

    Not exactly a “vicarly” ride. I guess I will stick with my old Saturn. 🙂 She has the rather unoriginal name of “the Blue Beastie”. You hot-dogs enjoy your fighter pilot rides. 🙂

  3. Not really all THAT fighter pilot-ish rides Vicar.

    THIS OTOH would be!!! Awesome trivia tidbit, Southern Command HQ is about 25 miles east of that shop where those little gems are constructed.

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