Local time where you're at. ("Where you're at"?)

(Yeah, it’s a rerun of a rerun of a rerun.&#160 Of a rerun.&#160 Et cetera, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.&#160 Bite Sue me, mkay?&#160 I’m busy cooking. )

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I first penned (penned?) this screed (g) on 11/17/01.&#160 I thought it appropriate then (and still do), it being Thanksgiving and all, to jot down a list of those things for which I was thankful.&#160 This year the tradition continues, below the fold, as usual with only a few minor tweaks to keep things current:

First of all, let me once again&#160 apologize for not blogging as much as I wish I could.&#160 Ideally, I’d be cranking out two or three posts a day.&#160 There’s certainly that much going on in the world, and it tears at my gut to be missing the opportunities to write about these things.&#160 Pains me even more to think that you, the Denizens, are missing out on most of My Eternal Wisdom&#153.&#160

The fact is that I simply have not had time to do one of the things that I enjoy more than I ever thought I would – writing.&#160 I never for a moment, sitting in my first ever English Composition college class twenty-five thirty years ago (Great Honkin’ Cthulhu&#153, has it been that long????), taught by a guy I believed to be an idiot, thought that I would ever come to the point that I actually got a kick out of slapping thoughts on page.

Amazing how things change.

But, I digress.&#160 There’s not been enough time.&#160 There’s never&#160 been enough time, but that’s beside the point.&#160 I’ve been swamped at work, and that’s when I’m not trying to renew a certification.&#160 This is taking me away from the chores I need to be doing – keeping the house clean, doing the laundry in a timely fashion, cleaning the kitchen, picking up dog crap off the carpet, those sorts of things.

MRS. VENOMOUS (with cast-iron skillet):&#160 Since when do you&#160 do those things anymore, slave driver?

VENOMOUS:&#160 Since I have you to do them for me, sweetie… (plants long kiss on the lips of Mrs. Venomous)

MRS. VENOMOUS (tossing aside cast-iron skillet):&#160 (swoon!!!!!)

Anyway, when I do finally get around to those things, they keep me from doing stuff I like to do – like surfing the Web and writing these columns.

Which brings me around to the topic at hand.&#160 Thanksgiving’s today, and it’s a good time to kick back and tick off the things for which your obdt.&#160 svt.&#160 (a little Blackie Sherrod lingo, there) is thankful:

God.&#160 The God of the Bible.&#160 The God of Abraham, Issac, Jacob, David and Solomon.&#160 That&#160 God.&#160 Not Allah, not Muhammad, not Cthulhu, not crystals and/or chakras and/or trees.&#160 God.&#160 Too damned few of us show our Creator too damned little appreciation for everything He’s given us, and do trust me when I tell you that that little tidbit has not&#160 escaped His attention.

His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, and the work He performed on the cross that allowed me to receive His salvation.&#160 (An aside:&#160 Yeah, in case anyone didn’t know – I’m a Christian.&#160 Not anywhere close to being the best example thereof, to be sure, but I’m still being worked on, and you’re just gonna have to be patient. (grin))

Being an American, and free to worship as I choose.&#160 For now, given whom the morons of this country just put into office.

My wife, Mrs. Venomous.&#160 Yes, Denizens, I haven’t really mentioned it all that much this past year, given my track record with such pronouncements (rueful grin) – but it’s once more through the marriage breach, dear friends.&#160 That’s five now – yes, it does pain me to say that – and So Help Me Cthulu&#153, this is the last one, forever & ever, a-freakin’-men.&#160 But this one has convinced me that the institution of marriage really is a Good Thing&#153 – she cares for me more than the other four combined.&#160 (No offense intended, D.)

My current home – a one-story, 3/2/1.5 house I share with the aforementioned Mrs, a chow/terrier and a huge lump of muscle & energy in the shape of a collie/sheltie mix.&#160 Not Better than the cozy cottage in Forney, but at least and I have an office again from which to pen (pen?) these screeds.

My son – Stephen Geoffrey “Skip” Crager, Jr.&#160 (although his doublewide-assed mother insists on calling him “Geoffrey”).&#160 Even though I haven’t seen you since 2003, Skip, I still love you.&#160 Always will.&#160 Always remember that.

Friends & family, some more than others.&#160 Even the ones who are diametrically opposed to me in their beliefs.

And while I’m thinking about it – and I should have really mentioned this last year, too – my sister in law.&#160 My brother, heretofore doomed to a lifetime of Eternal Bachelorhood&#153 – not necessarily a Bad Thing&#153, given his sibling’s aforementioned catastrophic track record – was pulled from that abyss by a wonderful woman he met only a couple of years prior.&#160 They celebrated their first anniversary back in August 2006, and while it hasn’t been Easy Street&#153 for them, they’re doing better than okay.

Employment.&#160 Specifically, mine as a desktop technician, where I get to play with computers all day long – in effect, getting paid to practice my hobby.

(Thankfully, I’ve had a full-time gig since 2006, for a company known to me and only to me – since I know pussies like Cianderella Tierney, who bitched long and loud about me being a NetKKKop before having his ass exposed as a lying skank that doesn’t work at EDS, would love to find out where I work and try to get me fired…)

Okay, where was I…?

MP3s.&#160 The ability to take all my all-time favorite songs, regardless of format, and transfer them to something I can listen to in my car.&#160 Fuck you,&#160 Hilary Rosen.

Turkey.&#160 Lots of it, preferably drumsticks.

Leftovers.&#160 Turkey sammiches with lots of mustard.&#160 YEAH!

(Well, hold the bread on that.&#160 I have got to-got to-got to start paying more attention to Atkins.)

An American President who, though he is still not completely trustworthy in my eye, is at least giving the impression that he is, at least, trying – which is a damn sight better than what we could have had, hm?&#160 And at least this guy understands that the Presidency isn’t just one big frat party.&#160 (This will be crossed out at least until 2012 2017.)

The military which he commands.&#160 Peepz, these men & women do a helluva job protecting you and yours and the freedoms you enjoy, and they do it for pretty much next-to-nothing.&#160 Next time you see one, take a moment to say, “Thank you”.&#160 (Another aside:&#160 When I first posted this, I left out one very important group of guys:&#160 the Coast Guard.&#160 Unconscionable, since one of my readers served in that very branch.&#160 Mr. Slagle, my apologies – and my thanks.)

My car:&#160 A 2007 Chevy Cobalt 2013 Hyundai Genesis Coupe 2.0T turbo.&#160 Fast, fast, sleek, fast, fully equipped – and did I mention it was fast? (grin)

A seafood restaurant chain here locally by the name of “Ole Whiskers”.&#160 Catfish, chicken, ribs, stuffed crab, onion rings, and a host of other great stuff.&#160 Catfish topped with Tabasco&#169 sauce has become a staple. (They closed this year – dammit.)

My current boxes – an AMD FX six-core processor screaming along with 32 gigs of RAM, plus an Acer Aspire HP Pavilion with eight gigs of RAM.&#160 Two 23″-plus monitors so that I don’t have to squint anymore when I write these things.&#160 (Well, not much, anyway – at 1280×1024 1920×1280, things are still awfully small.)

The aforementioned crap-on-the-carpet dogs – she’s still a precious little lapdog, and she captures the heart of anyone that meets her.&#160 The aforementioned collie mix – a whirling dervish that tears everything up, but he has an infectious personality.&#160 Even my brother’s little min-pin and dachsund, Mindy & Demi respectively – two of the most affectionate dogs you’ll ever see.

Ham.&#160 Not as much as a turkey drumstick, but leftover ham does go good with eggs.

Any college football team that severely thrashes Nebraska.&#160 (Not since they hired Bo Pelini, and hopefully never again.) (As you guys know, I’m done with Pelini.&#160 Guy is one of those Dave Campo types – great coordinator, lousy head coach.)

Any college football team that severely thrashes Miami.

Any college football team that severely thrashes Arkansas.

Any college football team that severely thrashes Texas.&#160 (Unless it’s Arkansas.)

Any pro&#160 football team that severely thrashes ARRRRRRRRRR GEEEEEEEEEEE THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

TCU’s Horned Frogs.&#160 After your best job (again) ever last year, Gary Patterson.&#160 You’ve established yourself as one of, if not the&#160 best coaches the program’s ever had.&#160 Do the city of Fort Worth a favor – don’t go all Franchione on us and jilt us for Bama or Notre Dame or somesuch, mkay?

Any college football team that severely thrashes SMUT.

Any college football team that severely thrashes Bastard Smurf-Turf State.&#160 (That’d be you, Boise, and until you can prove that you can win something without having to resort to “trickeration”, that’s the way it’ll stay.&#160 You potato-humping pussies are nothing bur frauds.)

(What with TCU’s win at Boise in 2012, all – for the moment – is kinda-sorta forgiven.&#160 Let’s not play again for a while

, mkay?)

Any pro football team that kicks the crap out of Donna McNabb and the Philthydelphia Beagles & Warshington Foreskins – something the Cowboys did last year (twice), should have done this year in Warshington, and will do this year in Dallas need to start doing a helluva lot more of.&#160 (McCrabb’s not even playing for the ViQueens now anymore, so never mind.)

Tony Romo.&#160 Especially if he ever wins a playoff game… (sigh)&#160 (Assuming he can play behind something resembling an offensive line.) (Not until he can win something.)

MERLIN:&#160 Yeah, that line’s offensive, alright.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Hush, you.

MERLIN:&#160

Jerry Jones – for signing that extension for Romo. (grin) (See above.)

Southern Baptist churches that aren’t afraid to call themselves “Baptist”. (Not since they climbed into bed with the enviro-nutjob movement.&#160 Now it’s any church that unashamedly preaches the Gospel and refuses to compromise with its enemies.)

An occasional road trip – maybe to go fishing, or even if it’s work-related.&#160 I love staying in hotels where I can crank up the AC at night, and not have to worry about the electric bill (grin).

Microsoft.&#160 No, all you morons at the federal judiciary – Bill Gates does not run a monopoly, and you damned well know it.&#160 What he does do is run an extremely successful company, one that you bastards tried to shake down for $$$$, and failed.&#160 It’s not a secret that the tech sector crashed simultaneously with Janet El Reño’s baseless attack against Microsoft.

(Linus Torvalds, and the job he’s done with Linux.&#160 And the fine folks at Ubuntu)

Spanish-language television channels.&#160 You will not find a better-looking collection of major babes anywhere on Planet Earth.&#160 And they don’t mind letting people know that they’re women either, dammit.&#160 Take that, NOW.&#160 🙂

Mashed potatoes.&#160 With a ton of gravy.&#160 (Atkins be damned on this one.&#160 (grin))

Ranch-style beans™.&#160 (Well, not so much now, seeing as ConAgra Backstabbing Foods has decided to shut down the Fort Worth plant that RSB has called home forever – but it’s still a nice little bean.)

Sweet tea – even though, being a Type II diabetic, I can no longer drink the stuff (make mine Sweet ‘n Low, 3 packets per 40 ounces, please unsweetened, unless it’s peach or cranberry tea, please).

Hooters’ hot wings.&#160 Scenery’s not bad, either.&#160

Dueling-piano bars.&#160 Picture two baby-grands.&#160 Picture two players with crass senses of humor.&#160 Picture some of the raunchiest lyrics ever conceived – sometimes on the fly.&#160 Picture yourself laughing your ass off.&#160 Try it sometime.

Rush Limbaugh.&#160 Sean Hannity.&#160 (There’s a rant coming on this assclown.&#160 Eventually.&#160 Maybe.)&#160 Mark Levin.&#160 Glenn Beck (though Levin seems to not like him for some reason).&#160 Michael Savage.&#160 Michael Reagan – and, in case I’ve not mentioned it before…his dad, too.

Ann Coulter.&#160 Michelle Malkin.&#160 (Not since Horseface foisted the Romerrhoid on us, and you already know how I feel about Malicious Malkin.)&#160 Laura Ingraham.&#160 Sigh, yowzah.&#160

The Blogosphere&#153.&#160 Specifically, Misha and Alan Henderson – for getting me into this blogging thing.&#160 (It’s a long story regarding Misha.&#160 Basically, it comes down to that bitch in Florida he calls his sestricka sucksdicka.)

My hairstylist.&#160 In all my lifetime, I’ve only found three people who could fully understand what I wanted done to my hair, and do it right in a minimum of time:&#160 one retired about 15 years ago.&#160 This one’s just as good as her predecessor – and she’s a major babe, too.&#160 (grin)

Broadband.&#160 Forney didn’t get it on a widespread basis – but I have Verizon FiOS Time Warner Cable AT&T U-verse now, and I rock yet again…(though, as soon as Verizon FiOS comes to Arlington I get just this much more&#160 pissed at AT&T… (grin))

…

And finally (though this list is by no means complete) – you Denizens who keep coming back to the site in hopes that I’ve updated it.&#160 Without you guys

, why am I doing this?&#160 Thanks very much for being here.

And Happy Thanksgiving.&#160 Remember the Source from whom the blessings originate…