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Mississippi State was favored over Southern Mississippi by 31 points. If we can keep Southern from scoring, we have the spread covered.

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Denizens, the “decision” to which I had referred back in April (yeah, yeah, I know…some “next few days”, eh, Venomous?) was going to be to close This Fine Blog™.  I have neither the time, nor inclination anymore, to write.

I have a new house.  The workload at my job is ponderous.  Ponderous, man, fuckin’ ponderous! (a little Casey Kasem lingo, there)  And not to put too fine a point on it…certain in the Blogosphere have proven to me that it’s not worth putting up with it.

But, having said all that…I still have one last Perfect Football Weekend™ season left in me.

Those of you who’ve read me for any length of time know that about this time every year, I start jonesing for football (not to be confused with Jerry Jonesing for football, which means making stupid-assed decisions year after year, thinking having a Victoria’s Secret© at AT&T Stadium is more important than having a winning football team on that house’s field, that sort of thing), which means everything & everyone else take back seats.

So here we are.  Once more through the breech, dear friends.

Same rules as always: I follow my teams here, you follow your teams in comments.  I don’t give two flying fucks at rolling donut holes how your teams do – just how mine do.  And the football weekend isn’t Perfect unless all my teams win.  (Unless I declare Executive Fiat™, which will always come with an explanation.)

Here are the teams I’m following:

1.  High school:  The (Fort Worth) Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets.  Year Two for Phil Young and the Jackets, and the good news this year is that Aledo (a 7-84 loss last year) is not on the schedule.  Thus, a 5-5 playoff team from last year looks to have a better season.  They start with White Settlement Brewer (wait, not Azle? not Birdville?) in four weeks.

2.  College:  The Texas Christian University Horned Frogs.  Year Three in the Big 12 11 10 However Many There Are for Gary Patterson and the Tadpoles.  GP still has the delustional idea that Trevone Boykin is a quarterback, so look for another 4-8 year or so. But he has a couple of new offensive co-coordinators, and he still has a decent enough defense, so we’ll see what happens.  Now to see which teams are crappy enough to lose to them…

3.  Pro:  The Dallas Cowboys.  Another year, another Sean Lee season-ending injury – this time before training camp even starts.  His knee, of course.  Thus, a defense that was already suspect is probably going to be just as bad this year.

One more new piece for the offensive line, plus a new play caller (Scott Linehan), and they’ll have to keep the Cowgirls in games again.

Look for 6-10, and Jason “Red-Headed Jebus” Garrett’s exit from the franchise shortly thereafter.

In addition, this year we’ll play things a little differently.  I’ll pick one or two games at random that interest me – some from past PFW teams, some from teams that have never shown up here before.  (Look for Turner Gill’s Liberty University team a lot here.  And anytime I sense that one of my least favorite teams is going to get their heads kicked in – you know, SMU, Arkansas, Boise State, that sort – it’ll show up in the list.)

Now, I was hoping to at least have a blurb about the Hall of Fame Game™ in Canton prior to publication, but that home thing reared its ugly head again.  So I’ll just mention that the NY Football Douchebags beat Buffalo last night – seriously, who doesn’t  beat Buffalo? – and leave it at that.

We’ll return Thursday with the first installment of the season, when I rip the Hall of Fame committee (or whomever picks these guys) for one of their stupid-assed selections.

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The No Fuckingballs League announced the Pro Football Hall of Fame’s 2014 class last night.

Now, it’s bad enough that widdle Mikey “Gap Toof” Strahan gets in.  He owns a “record” for sacks that Brett “Hey, Jenn, lookit my balls” Favre laid down – literally – to give him.  No respect for players like that at all.

But, when Aeneas Effing Williams  of the Phoeniz Cardinals (yeah – that  piss-poor excuse-for-a-football-team) gets in, with zero Super Bowl rings, while Charles Haley (only player in NFL history with (ahem) five) gets snubbed again

Fuck you, NFL writers.  You pissweasels are as irrelevant as the bastards who dish out the Nobel Peace Prize.

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It seems that the price people are willing to pay for tickets to the Super bowl have been going down, the current price being just under $1800 a head. Even this *low* price is out of reach to most Americans.  In addition, it seems that the lowest price tickets for regular season tickets are about a hundred dollars. With the average player salary being about $1.9 million dollars, pro football is most assuredly not a poor man’s game.

While I personally would not be caught dead paying these prices to be entertained, I have no quarrel with those who do. However I do have a question. Professional athletes and other top rank entertainers make a tremendous amount of money working in a vocation which really contributes very little to our society, and the left has no problem; Let a man who runs a company which provides jobs to tens of thousands of people make the same money, and the left screams bloody murder. Where is the logic here?

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Something I caught whilst watching the NBC pregame show just now:

The slogan:  “Subway – Where winners eat”.

And whom just happens  to be one of their spokesmorons?

Why, none other than ARRRRRRR GEEEEEEE OH-AND-THREEEEEEEEE!!!

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Well, Denizens, now that the Texass stRangers are well on their way to Oblivion™ (six games out of first as of this writing, and falling), it’s finally time to turn our attention to the Official Sport™ of the Realm™…

MERLIN:  Running libdouches through with bayonets?

OZY McCOOL:  Knocking them upside the head with spiked maces?

KORRIOTH:  Feeding them to the Sarlacc on Tattooine?

Ah, I love my job. 

No, guys, it’s time to crank up the phenomonon known around these parts as the Perfect Football Weekend™.

If you’ve been reading me for any length of time – and yes, I know, that’s only about Six or Seven™ of you – then you know what this is about:  Every Thursday or Friday or so during football season, I chronicle the exploits of my favorite football teams – “hah skrewl” (a little Rush lingo, there), college & pro.  I size up their games for a given weekend…and if my teams all win, it’s a PFW.

Occasionally, at my whim and mine alone, I will declare a PFW by Executive Fiat™ – usually because a team I hate with The Purplest Of Passions™ gets their heads handed to them (yes, even if it’s by one point).  More on that later.

(And as usual, I don’t give two shits about your  teams – that’s what the comments are for, of course.  Knock yerselfs out.  You people who are reading this and would like to get in on it – now’s a good time to get an account set up here.  Email me.  (Link on the right sidebar.))

Now, back in February, I promised that changes were coming – and, so help me Cthulhu, I bloody well meant what I said.

(Once again, Denizens, let me acknowledge For The Record™ that the World At Large™ does not revolve around me.  I’m perfectly aware that all this angst-filled rhetoric has the net effect of a gnat’s fart in a whirlwind.  This is as much for my entertainment as it is for yours, mkay?  Bite Sue me.)

With all that in mind, here are the teams I’m following in 2013:

High school:  The (Fort Worth, TX) Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets.  I kept seeing indications that Ged Kates was coming back to coach the Jackets, and my heart raced.  But it sounded too good to be true, especially after the disaster that was the Todd Whitten era.

Then I went to this FWISD page, and got my answer.

Arlington Heights High School has selected Philip Young to serve as the new Head Football Coach. Coach Young graduated from Texas Tech where he played football on teams that played in the Independence Bowl in 1986 and the Coca Cola Bowl in Tokyo, Japan in 1988. While completing graduate work in History, he worked as a graduate assistant coach for two years at Rice University. He later coached at the University of North Texas from 1991 to 1994. Later, Coach Young started coaching and teaching at Denton Liberty Christian High School was part of two state championship teams. He also coached two state championship games as the offensive coordinator at Gainesville High School, winning the title in 2003. Before joining the Arlington Heights High School staff this year, Coach Young also served as head coach at Cleburne High School.

Okay, then.  Best of luck to you, Coach Young.  You’ve got a near-empty cupboard with which to work, so I don’t envy you.  Let’s see what you can do.

College:  The Texas Christian University Horned Frogs.  It’s Year Two of the Big XII experiment for Gary Patterson’s bunch, and even though there was once again attrition that we didn’t really want to see, this group should be better able to handle it.

Josh Boyce & Stansley Maponga took their talents to the NFL – Boyce through graduation (apparently, he was a senior when I thought he was a junior), Maponga through listening to some fool agent who convinced him that he’d done all he could at TCU.

Devonte Fields will take over as the Defensive End To Stop™ – he already has a Big XII Defensive Player Of The Year under his belt, and should only get better.  Jason Verrett & Sam Carter return to anchor a secondary that helped TCU lead the Big XII in defense last year

Casey Pachall is back, and even though Coach P is being coy about who will start against LSU, conventional wisdom dictates that Pachall is a better quarterback right now than Trevone Boykin.  He’ll have Waymon James & B.J. Catalon to hand off to, and Cam White, LaDarius Brown & Bailey Desormeaux to throw to (and why Desormeaux isn’t playing for LSU, I’ve no idea).

It’s about a month to LSU at the Death Star, and we’ll find out a lot about this group in a hurry right about then.

College:  The Liberty University Flames.  It’s Year Two for Turner Gill as well at Jerry Falwell University, and things are looking up:

Seniors Kevin Fogg and Richard Wright have been named to 2013 Phil Steele Preseason FCS All-American teams, while 13 players are among those listed by the organization in its preseason all-conference lists.

Both Fogg and Wright were named to the Phil Steele Preseason FCS All-American first-team listing, with Fogg grabbing a spot on the team as a kickoff return specialist and Wright at long snapper.

Liberty was the only Big South program to have two first-team honorees on the Phil Steele listing. Players from Gardner-Webb (one second-team and one fourth-team) and Coastal Carolina (both third-team) were also named to the FCS All-American listing.

The first game is vs. Kent State in about one month’s time.  As usual, Liberty will be under the SpatulaLine™, getting points when they appear way overmatched.

Pros:  The Houston Texans.  It’s time the Southern Command got some love from HQ, and I’m sick & tired of Cowgirl mediocrity, so the Texans get the nod this year.

Matt Schaub is back at QB, Arian Foster runs the ball, Andre Johnson catches it, and JJ Watt will anchor the defense.  It got them a 12-4 record & an AFC South championship last year, and there’s no reason why they shouldn’t be a contender this year as well.

More teams may be added to this mix as I see fit, or not.  In the meantime, this is a good group.

First games are next weekend, and I have a helluva story to launch with, so watch this space.

In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this.

Here’s to football!

UPDATE:  Oops – almost forgot.

The team that I hate with the Purplest of Passions™…

K’HADIBAK’H:  You mean, besides SMU & TU?

VENOMOUS:  Something like that.

…is the Penn State Nittany Lions.

For the way they dragged Joe Paterno’s name though the mud, they are on the Eternal Shit List™.  Anytime they lose, it doesn’t matter what  any of the rest of my teams have done – I will declare a PFW by Executive Fiat™, because they got their asses kicked.

Now let’s go have some fun!

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Though I am not the big Football fan in this forum, I must point out that Mississippi State goes into this weeks match-up against Alabama with a 7 and 0 record. This is the second time since 1895(the start of MSU football) that the school has accomplished such a feat. I think it safe to say that Dan Mullens is doing a god job.

Unfortunately, Alabama is also undefeated and against them MSU cannot afford to take a quarter off, like they did against Middle Tennessee. They are going to have to play 4 quarters of all out quality football, if they hope to repeat the results of 1980.

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Last evening, in the last seconds of the Mississippi State, University of Tennessee game, we saw this:

Photo: CLUTCH

State was already three points up, all they had to do was to keep the ball away from UT. As luck would happen, this guy was open, and State won 41-31. We are now 6 and 0. Next week, we have a chance to be 7 and 0. The following week we play Alabama. On that game, all bets are off.

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Not quite as easy when your All-Universe™ offense is going against an experienced  defense, is it?

BWAH-HAHAHHAHAHAHA…!!!!1!!ELEVENTEENTYMILLION!!!!!111!!~

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Several years ago the University of Mississippi gave into the political correctness crowd and gave Colonel Reb a dishonourable discharge. The stated reason for this was that the colonel glorified a racist past and thus was not suited to continue as school mascot. After much discussion and a vote by the student body, the new mascot became the black bear. Since then several thins have happened.

First, on Thanksgiving weekend of 2011, the Mississippi State Bulldogs went bear hunting and got their bear. Second, Colonel Reb just refuses to stay gone. Most folks in this area, including the on air personalities on at least one TV station continue to refer to Ole Miss as the Rebels.

Having said that, this year the Bulldogs will again get their bear, or kick Rebel butt, depending on how you wish to see it! :)

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Well, never let it be said that the dumbass doesn’t have a sense of humor.

We always knew that Donna McCrabbs, aka the World’s Greatest Ever Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever!™, had a severely overinflated opinion of himself.  Certainly all of Leftist Libtardia™ always thought so, and made it a point to shout down anyone who dared to disagree.

Now McBlabby is…(snicker)…tooting his own horn.

During an appearance on the interview show Barfly , former Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb said he saw himself as a Hall of Famer, even invoking the name of a few former greats to make his point.

“Absolutely,” McNabb said when asked if he would vote for himself for the Hall of Fame. “One thing that people don’t realize [is] I never played the game to make it to the Hall of Fame. I played the game because I love it. I played the game to win. I’m a competitor. When I step out on that field, I feel like I’m the best player on the field. … I played at the pinnacle, I played at the highest of my career. And I would vote for myself for the Hall of Fame, and I played with probably two or three other Hall of Famers.”

Yeah, well, Reggie White was a helluva lot better player than you ever were, Donna.

Helluva lot better man, too, come to think of it.

“Peyton never won the big game until he won the Super Bowl finally. Dan Marino never won the big game. But does that mean his career is a failure? No, not at all,” McNabb said. “And a lot of times, if we want to sit and look at the numbers for certain players, then we need to look at numbers for all of them.”

“When we want to sit and look at numbers — because that’s what it is when it comes to the Hall of Fame — my numbers are better than Jim Kelly, better than Troy Aikman, better than a lot of the guys who are in the Hall of Fame. But one thing they do have is a Super Bowl.”

That may  have just a weeeeeeeeee  little bit to do with it, don’t you think?

But no worries, Donna.  You may get in the Hall some day.  On the Senior ballot, perhaps.

But you know the old adage: If one could buy you for what you were worth, and sell you for what you thought  you were worth… 

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Was it something I said?

Ged Kates can keep his job another year – but dammit, son, you need to find you a secondary.

Guess it was too daunting a task.  Kates is taking his marbles and moving to Beverly Hills Richland Hills.

The Arlington Heights football program, one of the most successful teams in the district, took the biggest hit, with seven coaches resigning.

In 2009, with Ged Kates as their head coach, the Yellow Jackets became the first Fort Worth team in eight years to win a playoff game. Heights also won a playoff game in 2011. In January, Kates accepted the head coaching position at Richland.

Former Kates assistants Brian Brown, Steven Burkett, Jacob Johnson, William Kates, Cody McCauley, Derek Ward and Whitney Wyatt have decided to leave.

Kates said three of his former Heights assistants will join him at Richland.

They’re calling it a cost-cutting measure.  I call it the gutting of a once-proud football program.

Sigh.

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This…is not  good.

Fifteen TCU students, including four members of the football team, were among 18 people arrested early Wednesday after a six-month drug sting in which deals allegedly went down everywhere from players’ homes to a Hooters restaurant.

[...]

The bust ensnared members of the Horned Frog football team, which recently celebrated an invitation to the Big 12 conference, and information in the documents revealed a surprise team-wide drug test on National Signing Day.

I am reminded of a time nearly 30 years ago.  TCU’s new head coach, Jim Wacker, had just led his Horned Frogs to an 8-4 record and a berth in the Bluebonnet Bowl, and things were looking good for the Purple & White for the foreseeable future.

Then came 1985.

NCAA investigators arrived on the Texas Christian University campus Wednesday to look into reports that as many as 29 players accepted money from alumni trying to beef up the school’s football program.

[...]

TCU turned itself in to the NCAA for inspection and suspended seven players, including All-American running back Kenneth Davis, who admitted taking money from boosters.

The resulting scandal crippled the Frog program for 15 years.  Only when Dennis Franchione brought his act from New Mexico did Frog fortunes begin to turn.

Now we’ve got this.  And it’s all over the media here – the three four major affiliates, ESPN – everyone’s covering it.  Dale Hansen even went “unplugged” on it (gee, wonder why the fatass never goes “unplugged” when something good  happens to them, hm?).

One of the perps, Devin Johnson, stated to police that as many as 82 players failed a mandatory drug test sprung on the players by Gary Patterson on Feb 1st.  And if that’s  the case, one wonders how long it’ll cripple TCU this  time.

I’ve got a bad  feeling about this…

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What I wouldn’t give to have a nuke I could drop on New York/New Jersey right now.

Fuck you, E-why (Wo)manning, Bwandi Jackoff and the rest of the NY Football Douchebags.  And  the pussies masquerading as zebras that gave them Super Bowl XLVI.

Bastards, all.

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Denizens, welcome to this week’s edition of the Perfect Football Weekend™.

Arlington Heights gets its season ended by Birdville tonight, fifth-ranked Smurf Turf Douchebag State proves once again it can’t beat TCU without their so-called “trickeration” (they’ll win, but they’ll have to use trick plays to do so), sixth-ranked Oklahoma has the week off, so we’ll plug in 18th-ranked Wisconsin at UMinne-haha, 19th-ranked Nebraska is at 12th-ranked Penn State, and Dallas has Beefalo at home on Sunday.

And I’m not pontificating on the games this weekend, because I’ve got a Red Curtain o’ Blood™ covering my eyes RightAboutNow™, and a certain Filipina bitch – not to mention a lot of other Lame-Assed Media™ types – are at the top of my shit list.

Some background.  A damned good man lost his job today, and he lost it for the CARDINAL, UNFORGIVABLE SIN!!!!11!!!ONE!!1!ELEVENTYMILLION!!1!…of following Pennsylvania state law.

I refer, of course, to Joe Paterno.

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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