Posted by Darth Venomous @ 21:03
…in a time-honored end-of-year tradition…IOW, go get drunk.
Okay, guys, I’m about to go off and give it the Good Ol’ College Try at inducing the Mother Of All Hangovers
Thus, I leave you to your New Year’s celebrations with…fireworks!
Be safe tonight, Denizens – whereever you may be. (And no, I’m not driving tonight, so neener neener, libtards.)
Posted by David Hartung @ 18:33
Is it me, or does this indicate that our political leadership believe themselves to be above the rest of us? Eight years ago, the media was moaning about all of George Bush’s “vacations”. Now we see that Obama has spent even more time on “vacation”, but instead of going home, he goes to high dollar resorts. On top of that, the young miss Pelosi has scammed herself some USAF transport for her vacation, and it wouldn’t surprise me to find out that the taxpayers are paying her hotel bill.
Posted by Supreme General Rayegun @ 14:36
Found this one over at Andrew Breitbart’s (e.g Breitbart TV) BigGovernment.com site.
Gotta love it!!!
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 0:08
Denizens, your assignment for today is to pray.
Rush was taken to a hospital Wednesday evening because of chest pains.
God bless you and be with you, Rush. You have our support!
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 7:00
…then double standards must be twice as good.
More Grab-baggy goodness from LC Rurik. (Sir, are you sure you don’t wanna be on the staff here…? (grin))
Below the fold. Enjoy.
Posted by Supreme General Rayegun @ 20:29
From one of my weekly humor lists:
If you see a fat man
Who’s jolly and cute,
Wearing a beard and
a red flannel suit,
And if he is chuckling
and laughing away,
While flying around
in a miniature sleigh,
With eight tiny reindeer
to pull him along,
Then let’s face it…
Your eggnog’s too strong!
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 22:23
Got this via email from LC Rurik – and since I didn’t have time to write squat tonight, here ’tis:
A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.
‘Fred,’ he replies.
‘Fred what?’ the officer asks.
‘Just Fred,’ the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.
The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. ‘Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?’
The biker replies, ‘It’s a long story, so stay with me.’ I was born Fred Dingaling. I know — a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time, so I stayed to myself, studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.
After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.
Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD.
Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred.’
The officer walked away in tears, laughing.
As he should, Rurik. As he should.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 17:15
The entire college football world was in a state of shock yesterday when UFlorida head coach Urban Meyer announced he was stepping down for health reasons.
First reaction: Yeah, well – I’d be sick over losing my cash-cow quarterback, too.
Posted by David Hartung @ 8:11
Its the day after Christmas, all the presents are exchanged, the dinners eaten, and relatives are heading home. Now comes the cleanup! This year my better half and I are in the “going home” crowd, and we can leave the cleanup to others! Life is indeed good.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 8:59
Now in those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus, that a census be taken of all the inhabited earth. This was the first census taken while Quirinius was governor of Syria. And everyone was on his way to register for the census, each to his own city.
Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, in order to register along with Mary, who was engaged to him, and was with child.
While they were there, the days were completed for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
In the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened.
But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.”
When the angels had gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds began saying to one another, “Let us go straight to Bethlehem then, and see this thing that has happened which the Lord has made known to us.” So they came in a hurry and found their way to Mary and Joseph, and the baby as He lay in the manger.
When they had seen this, they made known the statement which had been told them about this Child. And all who heard it wondered at the things which were told them by the shepherds. But Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart.
The shepherds went back, glorifying and praising God for all that they had heard and seen, just as had been told them.
—Luke 2:1-20 (NASB)
And may God add His blessings to the reading of His holy Word.
Merry Christmas, Denizens. This season, more than any other – remember why.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 18:16
Denizens, Realm Headquarters is going to have a White Christmas.
Hide the decline.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 6:02
Yet another holiday tradition hits us here at the Realm, Denizens – the annual visit by everyone’s favorite General, the fat guy who wears all the red.
Usually it’s a round-robin between Supreme General Rayegun, David Hartung and myself, each of us taking turns posting it, and the other two linking to it. However, given that (even though each of them still have their own little corner of cyberspace still intact) we’re all in one place now, it seems fitting that I tack the bulletin to the board. Raise the flag and see who salutes, as it were.
Besides – it’s my turn, anyway.
(And, wonder of wonders – this year, it’ll even be formatted properly. Well – mostly, anyway. )
General Claus’ Visit
To: All Personnel
_1._ An official visit by MG Santa (NMI) Claus is expected at this headquarters 25 December 1998. The following instructions will be in effect and govern the activities of all personnel during the visit:
_a._ Not a creature will stir without official permission. This will include indigenous mice. Special stirring permits for necessary administrative actions will be obtained through normal command channels. Mice stirring permits will be obtained through the office of OSURG, Veterinary Services.
_b._ Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap prior to 2200 hours, 24 December 2009. Uniform for the nap will be: Pajamas, cotton, light, drowsing, with kerchief, general purpose, camouflage; and Cap, camouflage w/ear flaps. Equipment will be drawn from CIF prior to 1900 hours, 24 December 2009.
_c._ Personnel will utilize standard ration sugar plums for visions to dance through their heads. This item will be drawn from the servicing dining facility.
_d._ Stockings, wool, cushion sole, will be hung by the chimney with care. Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fire hazards caused by carelessly hung stockings. Unit Safety Officers will submit stocking hanging plans to this headquarters prior to 0800 hours, 24 December 1996, ATTN: AEAGA-S, for approval.
_e._ At the first sign of clatter from the lawn, all troops will spring from their beds to evaluate noise and cause. Immediate action will be taken to tear open the shutters and throw open the window sashes. ODCSOPS Plan (Saint Nick), Reference LO No. 3, paragraph 6c, this headquarters, 2 February 1995, will be in effect to facilitate shutter tearing and sash throwing. Division chiefs will familiarize all personnel with procedures and are responsible for ensuring that no shutters are torn open nor window sashes thrown prior to start of official clatter.
_f._ Prior to 2400, 24 December 2009, all personnel will be assigned “Wondering Eye” stations. After shutters are thrown and sashes are torn, these stations will be manned.
_g. _ODCSLOG will assign one each Sleigh, miniature, M-66, and eight (8) deer, rein, tiny, for use of MG Claus’ driver who, in accordance with current directives and other applicable regulations, must have a valid SF 56 properly annotated by Driver Testing; be authorized rooftop parking and be able to shout “On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen, up Comet, up Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen.”
_2._ MG Claus will enter quarters through standard chimneys. All units without chimneys will draw Chimney Simulator, M-6, for use during ceremonies. Chimney simulator units will be requested on Engineer Job Order Request Form submitted to the Furniture Warehouse prior to 19 December 2009, and issued on DA Form 3161, Request for Issue or Turn-In.
_3._ Personnel will be rehearsed on shouting “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.” This shout will be given on termination of General Claus’ visit. Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of division chiefs.
__CHRISTOPHER K. RINGLE__
OIC, Special Services
At ease, troops.
Posted by David Hartung @ 12:55
How about sending a company of imperial clones to help with the packing!
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 8:12
Got this one from LC Rurik via email:
‘Twas the night before Christmas & out on the ranch
The pond was froze over & so was the branch.
The snow was piled up belly-deep to a mule.
The kids were all home on vacation from school,
And happier young folks you never did see-
Just all sprawled around a-watchin’ TV.
Then suddenly, some time around 8 o’clock,
There came a surprise that gave them a shock!
The power went off, the TV went dead!
When Grandpa came in from out in the shed
With an armload of wood, the house was all dark.
“Just what I expected,” they heard him remark.
“Them power line wires must be down from the snow.
Seems sorter like times on the ranch long ago.”
“I’ll hunt up some candles,” said Mom. “With their light,
And the fireplace, I reckon we’ll make out all right.”
The teen-agers all seemed enveloped in gloom.
Then Grandpa came back from a trip to his room,
Uncased his old fiddle & started to play
That old Christmas song about bells on a sleigh.
Mom started to sing, & 1st thing they knew
Both Pop & the kids were all singing it, too.
They sang Christmas carols, they sang “Holy Night,”
Their eyes all a-shine in the ruddy firelight.
They played some charades Mom recalled from her youth,
And Pop read a passage from God’s Book of Truth.
They stayed up till midnight-and, would you believe,
The youngsters agreed ’twas a fine Christmas Eve.
Grandpa rose early, some time before dawn;
And when the kids wakened, the power was on.
“The power company sure got the line repaired quick,”
Said Grandpa – & no one suspected his trick.
Last night, for the sake of some old-fashioned fun,
He had pulled the main switch – the old Son-of-a-Gun!
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 7:00
December 6th, 2009, 1905 hours, is a date & time which will live in Realm infamy. Mark that date & time and remember it well, Denizens.
For it is the moment that I officially changed my mind on the B
CS, and decided we needed a national playoff.
#20 Nebraska 12, #3 TU Shortdicks 10, Big XII/B
CS Conspirators & Rule Violators 3
Denison 49, Sulphur Springs 35
Denison 28, Aledo 40
Wisconsin 51, at Hawai’i 10
Dallas 24, at NY Football Douchebags 31
at Dallas 17, San Diego 20
Dallas 24, at New Orleans 17