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Okay, so let me see if I have this right:

We’ve got BambiCare causing all manner of folks to lose insurance they wanted to keep, and to pay more & more to replace it.

Vladimir Putin has invaded the Ukraine.

We have some 270 folks missing that were on a Malaysian Airlines plane.&#160 No evidence of a crash or anything, the plane just went missing.

The Second Civil War&#153 may be just about to start.

And folks are getting the vapors over…thigh gap?!?!?!

It’s been OK to Photoshop since the invention of Photoshop, and perhaps no one has taken more advantage of it than the fashion and modeling industries. But Target’s apparent attempt to give a bikini model a fashionable thigh gap was such a hack job as to elicit a series of apologies from the company.

We.&#160 Are.&#160 So.&#160 Fucking.&#160 Screwed.

Let God’s judgement come.&#160 We’ve fucking earned&#160 it.

Item:&#160 The Los Angeles Dodgers clinched the NL West title the other day in Arizona – and to celebrate, they climbed the right-field fence and took a dip in the stadium’s open-access pool after everyone had left.

Item:&#160 This act pissed off half-assed excuse-for-a-senator RINO McLame:

“Poolgate” reached the nation’s capital Friday when Arizona Sen. John McCain voiced strong displeasure with the Los Angeles Dodgers’ celebration of their National League West title.

After the Dodgers clinched the division with Thursday’s 7-6 win against the Arizona Diamondbacks, roughly half the team celebrated by jumping into the pool behind the right-center field wall at Chase Field.

The revelry upset many players, executives and fans of the Diamondbacks, including McCain, who took to Twitter with this rant:

John McCain @SenJohnMcCain

No-class act by a bunch of overpaid, immature, arrogant, spoiled brats! “The #Dodgers are idiots” http://www.azcentral.com/insiders/danbickley/2013/09/19/the-dodgers-are-idiots/ …
12:36 PM – 20 Sep 2013

Item:&#160 Dodgers’ relief pitcher Brian “The Mohawk” Wilson had a classic response:

Brian Wilson @BrianWilson38

Senator McComplain knows a thing or two about coming in second and watching someone take a plunge in the pool (I mean poll) #POoLITICS
3:44 PM – 20 Sep 2013

BOOM!!!!!&#160

Denizens, as we start another Perfect Football Weekend&#153, talk in the world of College F’ball, You Bet!&#153 is on Johnny Football Johnny Signature Johnny Manziel, the defending Heisman Trophy winner, and Signature-gate, where multiple “brokers” (read:&#160 pissant swine) are claiming that he sold his signature for approximately seven large.&#160 (That’s $7,000 for those of you in Mykki Chickenshit’s Church of the SubTarded.)

There’s talk of suspensions & whatnot, but one Moaning Snooze columnist seems to think nothing’ll come of it:

The rub might be if Texas A&M decides to suspend him pending a finding by the NCAA. If he plays before the NCAA makes a ruling, they might make the Aggies void any wins he plays in. But I think the Aggies might be willing to roll the dice on that.

My take on it is, what’s the big deal?&#160 He’s making money doing something he’s done, independent of the NCAA, for nearly his entire life – signing his name.&#160 There are some things the NCAA just can’t control, and this is one of them – or should be, anyway.

On to the football.&#160 Right now, Raven is coming back on Panther in Baltimore (it’s 34-24, Carolina, as I write this).&#160 Baltimore’s apparently contracted a case of the Dallas Oopsies&#153 (in other words, they’ve coughed up the ball a few times), but they seem to be coming back.

Friday night, CBS will have Seahawk-Packer from the frrrroooooozzzzzennnnnnnnn tunnnnnnnndrrrrrraaaaaaaa&#160 (a little Chris Berman lingo, there)

Saturday, this house will be watching Cowgirl-Bengal.&#160 My first chance to see Andy Dalton.&#160 Woo hoo!&#160 &#160 In addition, CBS will have Ram-Bronco from Denver.&#160 Peyton should have a field day.

Saint-Texan and ViQueen-FairyWhiner on Sunday round out the schedule.

As usual, I’ll have comment on anything I get to see.&#160 Recaps with links if not.&#160 And I’ll try to make it on Monday if I can.

See you then.

Oh, really?&#160 That’s nice.

Damn, the Cowgirlz are gonna have to figure out how to replace Tyrone Crawford…&#160

(*Incidentally, Jim Hoft, no – I don’t consider you part of the LSM.&#160 But everyone else is going all ga-ga for them, so…)

This is not necessarily a defense of Widdle Ricky Santorum, mkay?&#160 I mean, I’m not too fond of the idiot, particularly since he lied through his teeth when he downplayed the role of Newt Gingrich in the 1994 Republican Revolution during the S. Carolina debate.

And I say that with you guys well aware of my honest opinion of Newt.&#160 (Which is to say, it ain’t very good.)

I for one wish the GOP would grow a spine, look the Demoscum in the eye and flat-out state, “Listen, dumbasses, no one wants to ban contraception, the states least of all – even though, thanks to a little something called the Tenth Amendment, they bloody well can if they so choose – so drop the effin’ subject and let’s talk about where you and your honeyboy B. HUSSEIN!!!&#160 Obambi have dropped the ball…namely, the economy and foreign affairs, M”KAY?!?!?!”

But this bullshit about the reaction to Santorum questioning the theology behind Bambi’s policy?&#160 The whining and sniveling that’s&#160 caused?&#160 I mean, here’s “Baghdad Bob” Gibbs bleating that Santorum went over the line for the cardinal&#160 sin of “questioning [Bambi’s] Christian faith?

Hey, Baghdad Bobby?&#160 I’ll do more than question it – I’ll fucking challenge it outright.&#160 The bastard ain’t a Christian.&#160 Certainly not in the traditional sense of the word.&#160 Look at his track record if you don’t believe me.

And Santorum Franklin Graham’s bang-on right about one thing:&#160 Bambi gives more of a shit about Muslims than he does about the Christians the Muslims are killing overseas.&#160 I mean, when was the last time you heard Bambi mention anything about that, hmmmmmmmm?

Santorum’s right about another thing, too:&#160 Satan is targeting this country.&#160 I fucking dare anyone to look at what’s happened to this culture over the last 50 years and deny it.

So you pisstards on the Left can take all your kvetching about what Rick Santorum has said about our culture and shove it back up your pieholes.&#160 You pussies are a big cause of it, so I for one don’t give a shit that you don’t like us pointing it out.

Sister Toldjah tells us about Herbie Cain’s decision to “re-assess” his dwindling chances of even getting a remote sniff of the White House campaign, in light of the latest accusation d’ peccadillo&#160 against him.

An Atlanta businesswoman is breaking her silence, claiming she has been involved in a 13-year-long affair with Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain.

Over the Thanksgiving weekend, FOX 5 senior I-Team reporter Dale Russell sat down with Ginger White, who had a story to tell.

“I’m not proud,” White told Russell. “I didn’t want to come out with this. I did not.”

Don’t believe it for a nanosecond, Denizens.&#160 Unless she & Herbie were an item alllllllll over Hotlanta, all she had to do was keep her effing mouth shut.&#160 No one gave two flying fucks at donut holes who she was before this, and nobody’ll give so much as one after Herbie drops out of the race.

Which, if he can figure out what “Mene Mene Tekel Upharsin” means, should be AnyDayNow&#153.

Ginger White says she met Herman Cain in the late 90s in Louisville, Kentucky, when as president of the National Restaurant Association, he made a presentation. She was impressed. She says they shared drinks afterwards and he invited her back to his hotel room.

“’I’d like to see you again,’” White said Cain told her. “’You are beautiful to me, and I would love for us to continue this friendship.’”

She says in his hotel room, he pulled out a calendar and invited her to meet him in Palm Springs. She accepted, and she says the affair began.

[…]

She says during the next 13 years, he would fly her to cities where he was speaking and he lavished her with gifts. She says they often stayed at the Ritz Carlton in Buckhead and dined at The Four Seasons restaurant. She says he never harassed her, never treated her poorly, and was the same man you see on the campaign trail.

[…]

She says the physical relationship ended about eight months ago, right before Cain announced he was running for president. But the communication did not.

Don’t get me wrong, Denizens.&#160 I don’t for a minute believe a single syllable this tawdry trollop is saying.&#160 There has been too many of these accusations, saying exactly the same thing, to think these bimbos haven’t been coached.

But it doesn’t matter what you & I know, guys.&#160 The majority of the American Idol-fed, pablum-scarfing douchebaggery that we foolishly call citizens, will lap it up like cats on a saucer of milk laced with catnip.

Cain, as much as I dislike the man for his disrespect of Rick Perry, is bang on right about this one:&#160 Like Clarance Thomas before him, he is a victim of an attempted “high-tech lynching”.&#160 Problem is…this time, it worked.

And while I might not mind too much, all things considered – I do think that anyone who was involved in spreading this maliciousness (all&#160 of it) should be taken out back…and properly ventilated, if you know what I mean.

Asshats.&#160

UPDATE (hat tip Jim Hoft):&#160 Uh, oh.&#160 Maybe there is&#160 something to this one, after all.

Herman Cain acknowledged Thursday that he repeatedly gave Ginger White money to help her with “month-to-month bills and expenses” without telling his wife of more than 40 years.

In fact, the embattled presidential candidate said, his wife, Gloria, “did not know that we were friends until she (White) came out with this story” alleging that the two had a 13-year extramarital affair.

In his most candid interview since the latest allegations emerged, Cain adamantly maintained that he and White were no more than friends.

Uh, huh.&#160 To quote a certain SpatulaGoddess, “Yeah, right, whatever”.

Doesn’t matter if this specific episode was platonic or not.&#160 Doesn’t matter if he was merely “trying to help her financially” or whatever.&#160 The mere appearance&#160 of impropriety in this case is enough to torpedo this&#160 campaign.

G’night, Herbie, thanks for playing.

UPDATE the Twoth:&#160 Sure enough…

Herman Cain, the insurgent populist whose candidacy has been ensnared by allegations of sexual impropriety, said Saturday that he is leaving the race for the Republican presidential nomination, saying that the allegations have cast a “cloud of doubt over me and this campaign.”

“As of today, with a lot of prayer and soul searching, I am suspending my presidential campaign,” he said at an event in Atlanta. “I am suspending my presidential campaign because of the continued distraction, the continued hurt . . . on me, on my family, not because we are not fighters, not because I am not a fighter.”

“…but because I am a horndog on a Clintonian scale, and where it was okay with Slick Willie, a Republican – ‘specially a black&#160 Republican – ‘Cain’t’&#160 gets away widdit.”

And, whereas before I thought the Ginger White story was 100% bullshit…now I’m not so sure.

(shrug) Meh, whatever.

Denizens, by now you’ve heard about this doofus flying for Southwest Airlines that made an ass of himself over the air:

Southwest Airlines was once well known for hiring only female flight attendants and dressing them in hot pants. At least one of its pilots apparently dislikes that it’s not like that anymore.

“Eleven f***ing over-the-top f***ing a** f***ing homosexuals and a granny. Eleven! I mean, think of the odds of that,” the unidentified pilot said during a March flight.

[…]
The pilot labeled his Chicago-based flight crew as a “continuous stream of gays and grannies and grandes.”

“So in six months I went to the bar three times; in six months, three times. Once with the granny and the f*g, and I wished I hadn’t gone,” he said.

For his tirade, the guy got a suspension and was ordered to undergo that time-honored liberal method of sticking it to conservatives, Christians and/or white men in general – THENTHITIVITY TWAINING!!!!!

That’s not good enough for some fat-assed fraulines flight attendants, though.&#160 Several of them are thinking about filing an EEOC complaint.

Oh, that’ll&#160 get the guy frog-marched into the federal hoosegow.

Here’s my question the Professionally Offended&#153 in this case:&#160 What criminal statute has this guy violated?

Soon as you can tell me that, I’ll possibly consider maybe giving half an abbreviated listen to y’all’s whiny-assed sniveling.

And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.