Posted by Darth Venomous @ 7:30
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 8:55
Babalu Blog is calling for a boycott of Rolling Stone
Birdcage Liner Magazine because they’re once again slandering the US military serving over in Afghanistan.
My question: Why would we not be boycotting this colostomy bag of a publication anyway, just out of principle?
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 20:35
This is a pisser, Denizens. Every time there’s something to rant about, it seems that I either lose the urge to write…
MERLIN: Why don’t you just call it your muse and be done with it?
[Venomous gestures. Merlin goes flying face first into a bulkhead.]
VENOMOUS: Any more dumb-assed questions, Wizard?
MERLIN: …uh, ow.
…or the day turns into a One-Legged Man day.
Which is what’s gone on the last 48 hours. Three hours sleep (and I’m being generous about that), followed by an 0400 start time at work, followed by a 12-hour shift.
In short, I’m too damned tired to write.
So lemme just repeat a recurring theme: Demoscum are little pussified douchebags and they suck.
KORRIOTH: Same song, 34,602,345,089th verse?
[Venomous glares at Korrioth.]
KORRIOTH: Hey, I’m just saying it’s hard to come up with so many ways to say the same thing. Even for you.
VENOMOUS: (shrugs) Point. And at least you didn’t say “muse”.
KORRIOTH: Unlike the (hack, spit) Romulans (hack, spit), we don’t have a word for that.
VENOMOUS: Mheh. Okay, enough of trying to cheer me up. Go take a painstick to our writers and see if they’ve figured out how close they’re gonna cut my beamout from Titanic.
KORRIOTH: (nods) Aye, sir.
“Muse”, my effin’ arse.
Posted by Supreme General Rayegun @ 0:01
In any court of law in America, this is commonly known as “kidnapping”. Typically a major felony offense that usually will get quite a few years in a hardcore penitentiary.
Will that happen in this case?
Do we really need to consult Vegas odds-makers on this one?????
I hope the lawyers at the Orlando Sentinel have a field day with the whole lot of them…all the way up to the Vice Doofus himself!
UPDATE: (0700 28 Mar 2011): It seems that Camp Biden feels sowwy for their boo boo and apparently apologizes here. Will the Orlando Sentinel sue, I certainly hope so. Will Scott Powers sue, he damn well should. Will it happen? See my reference to the Vegas odds-makers above.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 19:05
[SCENE: On the bridge of the soon-to-be-defunct Titanic…]
VENOMOUS: Geeze Marie, Allan, d’ya have to give away the whole ending?
[And just how many of our ships have survived warp-core breaches?]
VENOMOUS: That’s not the point. I pay you to narrate the story, not write it.
[You don’t pay me enough is more like it. Union, baby!!! POWER TO THE PEOP…gakkkk…gakkkk…]
VENOMOUS (with hand outstretched): That will be quite enough, narrator. Understudy?
[The previous entity known as Allan-a-(union)Dale crumples to the floor, lifeless, extinguished by a Sith choke-out.
In the meantime, chaos reigns on the bridge of ISS Titanic as the skeleton crew on board move to evacuate.]
KORRIOTH: McCool, go see to your people! McManx, you’re with McCool! K’ha, internal scan for life signs to catch anyone we don’t know about!
K’HADIBAK’H: Aye, sir!
KORRIOTH (turning to Venomous): Admi…uh, Admiral, what are you doing?
[Venomous is at the helm, working controls.]
VENOMOUS: Plotting a course to take this beast away from here, Captain. They don’t grow spacedocks on cosmic trees, and I don’t wanna have to rebuild this one.
KORRIOTH: M’lord, we need to get you off this ship!
VENOMOUS: No, Kor, we need to get you off this ship, whereupon you will get me outta here. Now go; you have work to do.
VENOMOUS: Captain, go. Get to the transporter and wait for my signal.
KORRIOTH: (sigh) Yes, m’lord. (takes a look) It doesn’t take that long to plot a course, does it?
VENOMOUS: This one does. Now go!
KORRIOTH: (rolling eyes) Aye, Admiral. [Korrioth takes the turbolift out.]
VENOMOUS (muttering to himself): Can I please get some writers that don’t force me to stay on the ship ’til the last effing minute…?!
To be continued…
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 0:05
(Hat tip Professor Jacobson.)
Denizens, remember when the Ayatollah Bambi and his trained little
monkeys minions decided that, despite Bambicare being held to be unconstitutional by Judge Vinson, they went ahead and continued with plans to implement it anyway?
Oh, how the libtards crowed about that.
Not so much now – for the Demoscum’s own ox has now been gored. By the Wisconsin Legislative Reference Bureau.
In a stunning twist, Gov. Scott Walker’s legislation limiting collective bargaining for public workers was published Friday despite a judge’s hold on the measure, prompting a dispute over whether it takes effect Saturday.
The measure was published to the Legislature’s website with a footnote that acknowledges the restraining order by a Dane County judge. But the posting says state law “requires the Legislative Reference Bureau to publish every act within 10 working days after its date of enactment.”
Dee. Lish. Ous.
“Instant Karma’s gonna get you…Gonna knock ya right on yer ass…”
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 1:42
The Daily Caller is reporting that the Huffington’s
Yeast Infection Post, a weblog notorious for slanderous, lying ad hominem attacks on conservatives, has banned columns written by Andrew Breitbart from appearing on their front page…
for making ad hominem attacks directed at Color of Change co-founder Van Jones in an interview published earlier on Thursday by The Daily Caller.
Breitbart called Jones, who resigned from his position in the Obama administration following a series of revelations, including that he had once signed a 9-11 “truther” petition, ”a cop killer-supporting, racist, demagogic freak. And a commie. And an eco-fraudster.”
In other news (hat tip: DC commenter “dez1″)…the KKK reportedly has banned membership for blacks. (Shock of shocks, yeah – I know.)
Posted by Supreme General Rayegun @ 7:30
Screen legend, one of the original Hollywood divas, and two-time Oscar winner, Elizabeth Taylor passed away today. She was 79.
Much could be said about her, much already has been, but that’s for the gossip blogs and E! not here. We prefer to remember her from her days as “Cleopatra“. She will be missed.
God rest her soul.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 20:57
Denizens, consider this T-Mobile commercial:
For the Uninitiated, this is a blatant rip-off of the old “Hi, I’m a Mac/(sigh) And I’m a PC” commercials that Stevie Jobs apparently – and erroneously – thought were hilarious.
Ever since T-Mobile came out with these BS spots, I’d tell anyone who’d listen – which usually amounted to Mrs. Venomous – “Dammit, it didn’t work for Apple, and it’s bloody well not gonna work for T-Mobile”.
MRS. VENOMOUS: Yes, dear.
Well, AT&T, having probably gotten a little tired of the mosquito biting it, did the appropriate thing – they smacked the mosquito into oblivion:
AT&T is planning on buying T-Mobile USA from Deutsche Telekom for $39 billion in cash and stock. The deal must be approved by both the Department of Justice and the Federal Communications Commission first.
“This transaction represents a major commitment to strengthen and expand critical infrastructure for our nation’s future,” said AT&T Chairman and CEO Randall Stephenson. “It will improve network quality, and it will bring advanced LTE capabilities to more than 294 million people.”
Guess we can see that little cutie in blue & orange now instead of pink polka-dots.
Score another WITY for His Rudeness.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 1:31
[SCENE: On the bridge of ISS Titanic. The ship has just returned to Realm spacedock after a successful month-long shakedown cruise to test the new warp core. Chief Engineer Ozymandias McCool is beaming with pride at the rave review being given to him by Admiral Darth Venomous.]
VENOMOUS: …we even got to test the upgraded particle disruptors, and for once, we made it through a successful mission without something or other blowing up. I think you’ve earned that promotion back to Lieutenant Commander, Ozy, and it pleases me to so bestow you now…
OZY MCCOOL: Thank you, Admiral.
VENOMOUS: …and Wizard, if you want to embark on that vacation I’ve been promising you, I’ve taken the liberty of making a reservation for you on Risa.
MERLIN: Thank you, m’liege. At my age, it is sorely needed. No pun intended, of course.
VENOMOUS: Just one condition, my friend: Under no circumstance are you to bring me a horga’hn – Mrs. Venomous would have what’s left of my skillet-battered head.
[The laughter is rudely interrupted by a massive rocking of Titanic and a simultaneous power failure. The senior staff, including Venomous, are thrown about the bridge. The automatic red-alert klaxons begin blaring.]
VENOMOUS (shouting at the nearest intercom): Bridge to Engineering, report!!!
OFFSTAGE VOICE (over speaker): 1100 1001 1111 0000 1ac420dfee 1010 0101 ac2df19e…
[Even Venomous raises an eyebrow at that. He's never heard a Bynar use hexidecimal before.]
VENOMOUS: Ozy, what the hell was he saying?!?!
[Ozy's face is as white as a sheet.]
OZY MCCOOL: There’s been an explosion in Engineering and they’re losing containment! He’s estimating 10 minutes to a warp core breach!!!
VENOMOUS: Oh, shit, not again. Awright, guys, secure all stations and let’s get out of here! T-Bone, get on it.
T-BONE MCMANX: Aye, sir! [He touches some controls and leans toward the pickup.] All hands abandon ship! Repeat, all hands abandon ship. This is not a drill. I repeat, all hands abandon ship…
VENOMOUS (muttering to himself): Just once could I get some writers whose effing solution to everything wasn’t to blow up the damned ship…?!??!?!?!?!
Working through some issues here, Denizens. Will try to post as time allows. (It’s nothing serious, no worries – just a bleeping annoyance.)
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 21:49
Denizens, I’m going to be taking the Big Box offline for a couple of days, so any major posting will likely come from the Scorpion-class laptop.
General, you have the conn.
Posted by Supreme General Rayegun @ 15:54
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 23:12
Every once in a while, I’ll just happen to run into a hard copy of the Dullest Moaning Snooze – as long as I don’t have to pay for it, I don’t mind reading it, thus I’m living up to my boycott thereof – and I happened to come across this screed from the biggest shit-for-brains I’ve seen in a long while.
Posted by Supreme General Rayegun @ 0:30
Once you’re done considering things that Darth mentions, ponder on this one denizens.
Other than China, which country is the next largest holder of US Treasury Bonds?
And just for gee whiz and golly willikers sake, what would happen if said country would have a catastrophe only seen once every THOUSAND years or so “they” claim.
COULD it just maybe be possible that said country would start selling off those bonds (even if only pennies to the dollar) to get liquid funds to say REBUILD THE COUNTRY’S DESTROYED INFRASTRUCTURE??????
Try not to hurt yourself too much thunking what that would do to the issuer of them there bonds…….
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 6:56
Fox & Friends was going on & on about how the potential nuclear disaster in Japan supposedly “raises questions” about nuclear power here in the U.S.
Seems simple to me.
Don’t build nuke plants on or near known quake faults. Problem solved.
What would the world do without My Eternal Wisdom (*cough*)