Welcome to the Realm™ - Version 5.0...

I’m going to give in to the Dark Side&#153 a bit and link to a Fine Blog&#153 called Hookers and Booze – primarily for this reason:

(Vicar, this is as far as you really need to read. (grin))

That, and some of my friends over at the Rott are authors there.

But primarily for the pic.

(And this isn’t the first ever Rule 5 post in the Realm&#153 – but there haven’t been that many of ’em, to my everlasting chagrin.)

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get a head start on a certain skillet…&#160


Babalu Blog is calling for a boycott of Rolling Stone Birdcage Liner Magazine because they’re once again slandering the US military serving over in Afghanistan.

My question:&#160 Why would we not be boycotting this colostomy bag of a publication anyway, just out of principle?


This is a pisser, Denizens.&#160 Every time there’s something to rant about, it seems that I either lose the urge to write…

MERLIN:&#160 Why don’t you just call it your muse and be done with it?

[Venomous gestures.&#160 Merlin goes flying face first into a bulkhead.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 Any more&#160 dumb-assed questions, Wizard?

MERLIN:&#160 …uh, ow.

…or the day turns into a One-Legged Man&#153 day.

Which is what’s gone on the last 48 hours.&#160 Three hours sleep (and I’m being generous about that), followed by an 0400 start time at work, followed by a 12-hour shift.

In short, I’m too damned tired to write.

So lemme just repeat a recurring theme:&#160 Demoscum are little pussified douchebags and they suck.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Same song, 34,602,345,089th verse?

[Venomous glares at Korrioth.]

KORRIOTH:&#160 Hey, I’m just saying it’s hard to come up with so many ways to say the same thing.&#160 Even for you.

VENOMOUS:&#160 (shrugs)&#160 Point.&#160 And at least you didn’t say “muse”.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Unlike the (hack, spit) Romulans (hack, spit), we don’t have a word for that.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Mheh.&#160 Okay, enough of trying to cheer me up.&#160 Go take a painstick to our writers and see if they’ve figured out how close they’re gonna cut my beamout from Titanic.

KORRIOTH:&#160 (nods) Aye, sir.

“Muse”, my effin’ arse.&#160


And Drudge.

In any court of law in America, this is commonly known as “kidnapping”. Typically a major felony offense that usually will get quite a few years in a hardcore penitentiary.

Will that happen in this case?

Do we really need to consult Vegas odds-makers on this one?????

I hope the lawyers at the Orlando Sentinel have a field day with the whole lot of them…all the way up to the Vice Doofus himself!

UPDATE: (0700 28 Mar 2011): It seems that Camp Biden feels sowwy for their boo boo and apparently apologizes here. Will the Orlando Sentinel sue, I certainly hope so. Will Scott Powers sue, he damn well should. Will it happen? See my reference to the Vegas odds-makers above.


[SCENE:&#160 On the bridge of the soon-to-be-defunct Titanic…]

VENOMOUS:&#160 Geeze Marie, Allan, d’ya have to give away the whole&#160 ending?

[And just how&#160 many of our ships have survived warp-core breaches?]

VENOMOUS:&#160 That’s not the point.&#160 I pay you to narrate the story, not write it.

[You don’t pay me enough is more like it.&#160 Union, baby!!!&#160 POWER TO THE PEOP…gakkkk…gakkkk…]

VENOMOUS (with hand outstretched):&#160 That will be quite enough, narrator.&#160 Understudy?

[The previous entity known as Allan-a-(union)Dale crumples to the floor, lifeless, extinguished by a Sith choke-out.

In the meantime, chaos reigns on the bridge of ISS Titanic&#160 as the skeleton crew on board move to evacuate.]

KORRIOTH:&#160 McCool, go see to your people!&#160 McManx, you’re with McCool!&#160 K’ha, internal scan for life signs to catch anyone we don’t know about!

K’HADIBAK’H:&#160 Aye, sir!

KORRIOTH (turning to Venomous):&#160 Admi…uh, Admiral, what are you doing?

[Venomous is at the helm, working controls.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 Plotting a course to take this beast away from here, Captain.&#160 They don’t grow spacedocks on cosmic trees, and I don’t wanna have to rebuild this one.

KORRIOTH:&#160 M’lord, we need to get you off this ship!

VENOMOUS:&#160 No, Kor, we need to get you&#160 off this ship, whereupon you&#160 will get me&#160 outta here.&#160 Now go; you have work to do.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Admiral—

VENOMOUS:&#160 Captain, go.&#160 Get to the transporter and wait for my signal.

KORRIOTH:&#160 (sigh) Yes, m’lord. (takes a look)&#160 It doesn’t take that long to plot a course, does it?

VENOMOUS:&#160 This one does.&#160 Now go!

KORRIOTH:&#160 (rolling eyes) Aye, Admiral.&#160 [Korrioth takes the turbolift out.]

VENOMOUS (muttering to himself):&#160 Can I please&#160 get some writers that don’t force me to stay on the ship ’til the last effing minute…?!

To be continued…


(Hat tip Professor Jacobson.)

Denizens, remember when the Ayatollah Bambi and his trained little monkeys minions decided that, despite Bambicare being held to be unconstitutional by Judge Vinson, they went ahead and continued with plans to implement it anyway?

Oh, how the libtards crowed about that.

Not so much now – for the Demoscum’s own ox has now been gored.&#160 By the Wisconsin Legislative Reference Bureau.

In a stunning twist, Gov. Scott Walker’s legislation limiting collective bargaining for public workers was published Friday despite a judge’s hold on the measure, prompting a dispute over whether it takes effect Saturday.

The measure was published to the Legislature’s website with a footnote that acknowledges the restraining order by a Dane County judge. But the posting says state law “requires the Legislative Reference Bureau to publish every act within 10 working days after its date of enactment.”

Dee.&#160 Lish.&#160 Ous.

Absolutely.&#160 Delicious.

“Instant Karma’s gonna get you…Gonna knock ya right on yer ass…”


The Daily Caller is reporting that the Huffington’s Yeast Infection Post, a weblog notorious for slanderous, lying ad hominem&#160 attacks on conservatives, has banned columns written by Andrew Breitbart from appearing on their front page…

for making ad hominem attacks directed at Color of Change co-founder Van Jones in an interview published earlier on Thursday by The Daily Caller.

Breitbart called Jones, who resigned from his position in the Obama administration following a series of revelations, including that he had once signed a 9-11 “truther” petition, ”a cop killer-supporting, racist, demagogic freak. And a commie. And an eco-fraudster.”

In other news (hat tip:&#160 DC commenter “dez1”)…the KKK reportedly has banned membership for blacks.&#160 (Shock of shocks, yeah – I know.)


Screen legend, one of the original Hollywood divas, and two-time Oscar winner, Elizabeth Taylor passed away today. She was 79.

Much could be said about her, much already has been, but that’s for the gossip blogs and E! not here. We prefer to remember her from her days as “Cleopatra“. She will be missed.

God rest her soul.



Denizens, consider this T-Mobile commercial:

For the Uninitiated&#153, this is a blatant rip-off of the old “Hi, I’m a Mac/(sigh) And I’m a PC” commercials that Stevie Jobs apparently – and erroneously – thought were hilarious.

Ever since T-Mobile came out with these BS spots, I’d tell anyone who’d listen – which usually amounted to Mrs. Venomous – “Dammit, it didn’t work for Apple, and it’s bloody well not gonna work for T-Mobile”.

MRS. VENOMOUS:&#160 Yes, dear.


Well, AT&T, having probably gotten a little tired of the mosquito biting it, did the appropriate thing – they smacked the mosquito into oblivion:

AT&T is planning on buying T-Mobile USA from Deutsche Telekom for $39 billion in cash and stock. The deal must be approved by both the Department of Justice and the Federal Communications Commission first.

“This transaction represents a major commitment to strengthen and expand critical infrastructure for our nation’s future,” said AT&T Chairman and CEO Randall Stephenson. “It will improve network quality, and it will bring advanced LTE capabilities to more than 294 million people.”

Guess we can see that little cutie in blue & orange now instead of pink polka-dots.

Score another WITY&#153 for His Rudeness.&#160


[SCENE:&#160 On the bridge of ISS Titanic.&#160 The ship has just returned to Realm&#153 spacedock after a successful month-long shakedown cruise to test the new warp core.&#160 Chief Engineer Ozymandias McCool is beaming with pride at the rave review being given to him by Admiral Darth Venomous.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 …we even got to test the upgraded particle disruptors, and for once, we made it through a successful mission without something or other blowing up.&#160 I think you’ve earned that promotion back to Lieutenant Commander, Ozy, and it pleases me to so bestow you now…

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 Thank you, Admiral.

VENOMOUS:&#160 …and Wizard, if you want to embark on that vacation I’ve been promising you, I’ve taken the liberty of making a reservation for you on Risa.

MERLIN:&#160 Thank you, m’liege.&#160 At my age, it is sorely needed.&#160 No pun intended, of course.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Just one condition, my friend:&#160 Under no circumstance are you to bring me a horga’hn – Mrs. Venomous would have what’s left of my skillet-battered head.


[The laughter is rudely interrupted by a massive rocking of Titanic&#160 and a simultaneous power failure.&#160 The senior staff, including Venomous, are thrown about the bridge.&#160 The automatic red-alert klaxons begin blaring.]

VENOMOUS (shouting at the nearest intercom):&#160 Bridge to Engineering, report!!!

OFFSTAGE VOICE (over speaker):&#160 1100 1001 1111 0000 1ac420dfee 1010 0101 ac2df19e…

[Even Venomous raises an eyebrow at that.&#160 He’s never heard a Bynar use hexidecimal before.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 Ozy, what the hell was he saying?!?!

[Ozy’s face is as white as a sheet.]

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 There’s been an explosion in Engineering and they’re losing containment!&#160 He’s estimating 10 minutes to a warp core breach!!!

VENOMOUS:&#160 Oh, shit, not again.&#160 Awright, guys, secure all stations and let’s get out of here!&#160 T-Bone, get on it.

T-BONE MCMANX:&#160 Aye, sir!&#160 [He touches some controls and leans toward the pickup.]&#160 All hands abandon ship!&#160 Repeat, all hands abandon ship.&#160 This is not&#160 a drill.&#160 I repeat, all hands abandon ship…

VENOMOUS (muttering to himself):&#160 Just once&#160 could I get some writers whose effing solution to everything wasn’t to blow up the damned ship…?!??!?!?!?!

Working through some issues here, Denizens.&#160 Will try to post as time allows.&#160 (It’s nothing serious, no worries – just a bleeping annoyance.)


Denizens, I’m going to be taking the Big Box&#153 offline for a couple of days, so any major posting will likely come from the Scorpion-class laptop.&#160

General, you have the conn.


NHO WHAI!!!!!!!

Yes whai, and if you thought not you’d better go check out this article and then go look up Jeremiah Wright, and Jim Wallis.

“What they have put out there is a message of intolerance and of hate,” said Nate Phelps.

Pretty strong words coming from the estranged son of the Westboro Church (I refuse to put Baptist in there because no right-minded Bible believing Baptist would allow themselves to be associated with Fred Phelps’ so-called church) pastor. But he’s got a point, especially when you take this next statement into consideration.

“He [Fred Phelps] not only was this violent, cruel and insensitive person with other humans but he insisted that we be that way.”

Lovely. So not only is the pastor not leading his church in the proper ways of the Bible, but he’s forcing his whacked out beliefs on his family. That’s one sick dude.

And in this article, it seems things just get worse…..

An estranged son of anti-gay Kansas pastor Fred Phelps said Wednesday that the spiritual leader of Westboro Baptist Church hit his wife and beat his children with a mattock handle until they bled.

“I think what he does out there is evil,” said Nathan “Nate” Phelps, …

I’ll have to check with Security Services real quick on this one, but I’m fairly certain that would qualify as ASSAULT AND BATTERY.

Yes, the Bible does say that homosexuality is wrong, just check out Leviticus and other places in the New Testament. But what Fred Phelps is doing and the way he is doing it by primarily rioting fallen soldiers funerals’ is absolutely wrong. And contemptuously close to being anti-American in my estimation. Nate Phelps should be commended for calling what his father does, exactly what it is.
Evil, plain and simple.



Every once in a while, I’ll just happen to run into a hard copy of the Dullest Moaning Snooze – as long as I don’t have to pay for it, I don’t mind reading it, thus I’m living up to my boycott thereof – and I happened to come across this screed from the biggest shit-for-brains I’ve seen in a long while.

Social Security is not the biggest problem with the federal budget. The Greenspan Commission in the ’80s made sure that the Social Security system is well-funded for the baby boomers.

This dumbass Dan Mosher has obvously never read this article at what should be one of his favorite papers, the New York Slimes, nor must ne not have read, heard and/or seen the other major media outlets do their converage on the story (and for once, they did&#160 cover it), else he wouldn’t have gone out of his way to expose the vacuum in his head.

Social Security is broke.&#160 Medicare is broke.&#160 The United States of America is broke.&#160 What about that does this asshelmet not understand?

In fact, the trust fund will last well into the late 2030s, when the early boomers have mostly died.

Scripture admonishes us not to say things like “Thou fool” to anyone.&#160 In this case, however, I don’t think I’ll be able to help myself.

Mosher?&#160 Thou fucking fool.&#160 Just because Alan Greenspan, 20 years ago, said that this dumbshit little Ponzi scheme was financially stable doesn’t mean&#160 it was.

We were saying thirty years ago, during the days of Reagan, that Social Security was facing economic collapse, unless drastic changes were undertaken to stabliize it.

Did any of your butt-buddy Demoscum listen?&#160 HELL, NO!!!&#160 All they did was slap economic Band-Aids&#169 on it, kick the can down the road and pronounce it “fixed”!&#160 Now, in about 20 years when I’m going to start needing it, I’m likely not going to get a @%*@!! cent&#160 of it back!

And neither will you, Mosher – and you’d realize that if the matter between your ears was grey, rather than fecal.

But Denizens, what this shit-for-brains says next is quite possibly the stupidest, most asinine, most idiotically foolish&#160 thing I’ve ever read.&#160 (And that includes anything from the Church of the SubTarded, so that’s saying something.)

Charles Krauthammer is just as wrong as if he had said that a person struggling with $10,000 in credit card debt at 24 percent and a $100,000 mortgage at 5 percent should be most worried about the mortgage. The mortgage is the largest, both in total balance and yearly interest, but we all know that it is the credit card debt should be paid first.

He didn’t just say that.&#160 Tell me he didn’t just say that.

Boyz & girlz, I’ve owned a home, and I’ve been in massive, unrepayable credit card debt.&#160 I think I know whereof I speak.

I’m not sure how things are in other states, but I know how they are here.&#160 If you don’t pay your unsecured credit cards, here’s what happens:

They start sending you letters.&#160 They start calling you.&#160 You ignore them.&#160 More calls.&#160 More letters.&#160 More ignoring.&#160 Eventually, they turn your account over to a collection agency, which sends you a collection letter.&#160 If you don’t know how to use the United States Federal Code to handle those (and I do), or if you don’t act quickly enough, you get sued.

Then, if (for whatever reason) you lose the case, they can then file for possession/repayment – which will most likely be pennies on the dollar, and you might have to sell a few personal items, a couple of guns (if you have them), but not a whole heck of a lot else.&#160 And if you do&#160 declare bankruptcy, they’ll get a whole lot less than that.&#160 But at least in Texas, you don’t lose everything.&#160 (And, if you have the Texas Homestead Exemption, you can’t lose your house, period.)

In other words, with very few exceptions, the credit card companies can’t touch you.&#160 Especially if you know how to handle them.&#160 (You will take a hit on your credit record, but we’re not discussing that right now.)

Now.&#160 Contrast that with what happens if you don’t pay your mortgage:&#160 You stand to lose your home – and anything that might happen to be in it when they post the foreclosure notice and padlock the place.

So you tell me, Denizens:&#160 What are you&#160 gonna pay first?

The logic that “the largest is the problem” is simply flawed.

There’s indeed some flawed logic here, dumb fuck – but it’s sure as Hell not Charles Krauthammer’s.

The real problem with our federal budget is the excessive military spending.

Ah yes – here’s where we get into “it’s all Reagan’s/Bush’s/Bush’s fault”.&#160 The little pussy hates our military, so he blames it for everything from his widdle hangnail to the 600,000,000 quadrillion trillion billion million that Dubya personally shot to death in Iraq.&#160 (Not that widdle Danielle can give us any names or anything, but you get the idea.)

We involve ourselves in far too many of the world’s problems and then cut taxes instead of raising taxes to pay for our expeditions.

And then he goes on to demonstrate his absolute fuckwittery when it comes to taxation philosophy:&#160 “Tax hikes goooood, letting people keep more of their own money to stimulate the economy themselves, baaaaaaaaaaaad.

Never mind that when you cut&#160 tax rates, you bring more money into the Treasury.&#160 This putrid ‘tard didn’t read the lesson debunking Keynes, though – must’ve been off huffing his bong during that class.

And Daniella, I’m so&#160 very sorry that we spent that money on killing people, breaking things, and defending this country instead of using it to produce mass quantities of unicorn farts like you’d have preferred.&#160 But we rather dislike ragheaded pussies taking planes and flying them into our buildings, y’dig?

President George W. Bush and the Republicans nearly doubled our national debt during relatively good times and left us in much worse shape to deal with the fiscal meltdown that their “don’t regulate” policies brought on.

Well, finally, he got to the “blame Bush” part.&#160 Bush Derangement Syndrome does, indeed, live.

Never mind that his honeyboy Bambi, in only two years has about quadrupled&#160 what Bush accomplished in eight.

But that’s liberal retardia for you, isn’t it?&#160 Good thing morons like him aren’t in government…uh, wait…&#160


Once you’re done considering things that Darth mentions, ponder on this one denizens.

Other than China, which country is the next largest holder of US Treasury Bonds?

And just for gee whiz and golly willikers sake, what would happen if said country would have a catastrophe only seen once every THOUSAND years or so “they” claim.

COULD it just maybe be possible that said country would start selling off those bonds (even if only pennies to the dollar) to get liquid funds to say REBUILD THE COUNTRY’S DESTROYED INFRASTRUCTURE??????

Try not to hurt yourself too much thunking what that would do to the issuer of them there bonds…….



Fox & Friends was going on & on about how the potential nuclear disaster in Japan supposedly “raises questions” about nuclear power here in the U.S.

Seems simple to me.

Don’t build nuke plants on or near known quake faults.&#160 Problem solved.

What would the world do without My Eternal Wisdom (*cough*)&#153


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