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Sage Advice™ for those of you contemplating a move.

Never.  Ever.  EVER!!!!!  Hire a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend, or even their family.  Even if they say that they’ve done this sort of thing (moving) before.

Hire.  Fucking.  Professionals.  Professionals that, y’know, SHOW UP WHEN THEY SAY THEY’RE GONNA @(@#$%@%!%%^)!!!! SHOW THE FUCK UP!!!

That.  Is.  Fucking.  All. 


Denizens, this week’s edition of the Perfect Football Weekend™ begins with an episode of “What’s Widdle Terri Owens Been Up To Lately?”

Whereupon we find…that “Eldorado” (as Randy Galloway has been wont to call him)…has been engaged (pun somewhat intended) in a bit of Chick Chasing™.

That’s right, sportz fanz.  He Who Used To Have 25,000,000 Reasons Not To Commit Suicide™…has latched on to a matchmaking service.

Flamboyant footballer Terrell Owens has tapped a matchmaking service to help him find love. Outspoken Owens, who’s been linked to model Jessica White, has hired Kelleher International to help find a main squeeze who looks like bodacious Kim Kardashian — “who I happen to think is gorgeous,” he said.

Kelleher, run by mother and daughter team Jill and Amber Kelleher, has 18 international offices and charges clients anywhere from $15,000 to $150,000.

One might be surprised that not even the professional golddiggers (strippers, debutantes, et. al.) are touching him with a ten-foot pole.  Then again, given his unusually long-lasting, unusually high level of abrasive-oscity (abrasive-oscity?)…one might not be too surprised at all.

Gotta be a limit to what someone’ll do for $25,000,000, y’know?

On to the football.  It’s the annual Game Of The Century – well, at least for Fort Worth “hah skrewls” (a little Rush lingo, there) – and my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets will be taking on the Western Hills Cougars for the 4A-6 district championship.  Heights is 8-0, Hills is 7-1.  Field goal could win this, and a Yellow Jacket victory is not  automatic.  Expect no nails on my fingers by this time tomorrow.

Gary Patterson’s 4th-ranked Texas Christian Horned Frogs will get somewhat of a breather tomorrow night as they’ll be in Las Vegas to take on the UNLV Runnin’ Rebels – and let’s just say that Vegas isn’t  being too kind to the home team (TCU’s a 35-point road favorite).  Gary’ll pull his starters just in time to barely cover.

Also tomorrow, Danny Hawkins will be taking his hapless Colorado Buffaloes to get their asses whipped at Memorial Stadium in Norman by a very-pissed-off eleventh-ranked Oklahoma Sooners football team.  OU’s a 24-point favorite here, and – given how they were embarrassed by Missouri last week, I don’t hold out much hope for Colorado.

Speaking of seventh-ranked Mizzou, their reward for knocking off OU…is to go into Lincoln to take on the 14th-ranked Nebraska Cornhuskers.  Now, Bo Pelini’s squad has  lost a game there already this year – but they should have a chance against Mizzou.  At least they  don’t pa…nah, better not go there.

At any rate, the Huskers are eight-point favorites, and should cover – assuming Taylor Martinez doesn’t have another brain-fart of a game.

Sunday, the Dallas Cowgirlz will prove to the world that last Monday night wasn’t a fluke, as Jacksonville’s Jaguars will even their record when they take on the ‘Girlz at Cowboys Stadium.

Romo’s done for the year – well, actually eight weeks or so, but is there any point in playing him once the Cowpiez are officially eliminated from playoff contention?  Jon “Detroit’ll win 10 games…someday” Kitna takes over, so expect the recap to be entitled “Starring Jon Kitna as Brad Johnson”.

Bucky is off this week.

We’re back Monday or so with the recap, which will be posted from new digs. See you then.


In response to the directive suggestion emanating this week from the Southern Command, I took Mrs. Venomous in hand today and applied my steel-toed boot firmly to Demoscum ass.

Figuratively speaking, of course.

The literal version thereof may come later.

Vote Conservative, people.


This is how the airlines should make announcements.


Arlington Heights 52, South Hills 0

at #5 Texas Christian 38, Air Force 7

#3 Oklahoma 27, at #18 Missouri 36

#16 Nebraska 51, at #14 Oklahoma State 41

#13 Wisconsin 31, at #15 Iowa 30

at Dallas 35, NY Football Douchebags 41 (line:  Dallas by 3½ – no SpatulaLine)

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >


Both the Generalette and myself did, just today no less.

It only took 5 minutes from the time we got out of the Official Southern Command Staff Conveyance until we once again re-entered it. For both of us!

What is this you ask?

We did the one thing that makes our individual voices be heard and recognized in our great republic.


You are hereby summarily ordered to do likewise, unless you’re a sick, twisted freak that really enjoys the “fundamental transformation” that Al Obambi and George Soros Inc. are currently in-progress with. We here at the Southern Command are thoroughly sick of the utter thrashing these people are doing to the Constitution (that they SWORE TO PROTECT AND HONOR) let alone the almost irreparable damage they are doing to this great land. Just looking out for Mother Earth my big, fat ass. These nimrods are pouring out slop that no respectable farm animal would come within THREE MILES of. Even if they were upwind of it!!!!

Let the pigsty that D.C. has become know that WE THE PEOPLE are here now to plow over the manure and replant our nation with the seeds of LIFE, LIBERTY, and the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS. And yes, IN GOD WE TRUST is something more than just a phrase printed on our money.



American League Champions


(Yeah, Jon Daniels & Ron
, I guess you guys can stay.)



Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

Arlington Heights 37, Southwest 14

at #4 Texas Christian 31, BYU 3

at #6 Oklahoma 52, Iowa State 0

at #5 Nebraska 13, TU Shortdicks 20

at #18 Wisconsin 31, #1 Ohio State 18

Dallas 21, at Minnehaha ViQueens 24

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >


To: Supreme General Raygun

From: The Vicar

RE:Recent Court Ruling concerning Homosexuals in the Military.

General, your experience in the regular forces is more recent than mine. Do you believe that there will be problems among the troops, now that the courts have once again inserted themselves into the nation’s defense? Do you think that the problems will be sever enough to degrade our mission readiness?


It appears that Jack Conway, the Kentucky Democratic Senate candidate took a few below the belt swings at Dr Rand Paul. These attacks took place during a televised debate between the two. Dr. Paul was offended enough that he refused the traditional end-of-debate handshake.

This Missouri Democrat says the Mr. Conway in Kentucky was borderline inappropriate when he attacked Dr Rand Paul.

The question is, was Mr, Conway out of line, and was Dr. Rand right in refusing to engage in what has become a tradition in political debates.

For that matter, what credibility does any democrat have in discussing anyone’s willingness to tolerate personal attacks?


No PFW recap tonight, Denizens…

KORRIOTH:  Smell the nationwide heartbreak!

MERLIN:  It’s going viral, I tells ya!

VENOMOUS:  Aaah, shaddup, both o’ youse.


My Sith computer skills have been summoned once again – this time to one of my longtime friends.

Maybe tomorrow.


The Dullest Moaning Snooze is off the blogroll.

This is why.

I will no longer link to bastards & pussies who don the editorial kneepads for a jugeared son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch.  I don’t give two flying fucks whether it’s the illegal Kenyan fucktoid or  Mr. Sanctuary City.

Fuck you, DMN.  I’ve bought my last copy of your birdcage liner, as well.



If you don’t and don’t want them delivered, check out this Lifehacker article.

Might want to consider bookmarking the site, they’ve got tons of really useful Windows, Mac, and Linux tips….as well as the occasional time-saving household tidbit.

That’s all for now….it’s been a rough week.  Maybe some more tomorrow since it’s a down day for the Command Staff.


This week’s edition of the Perfect Football Weekend™ begins with the revelation that – surprise, surprise! – not all college football players are in it for the education.

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >


May be time for another Executive Decision™.

Arlington Heights 69, North Side 3

at #5 Texas Christian 45, Wyoming 0

#7 Nebraska 48, Kansas State 13

at #20 Wisconsin 41, Minnesota 23

at Dallas 27, Hickville 20, Pussified Zebras 14

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >


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