Welcome to the Realm™ - Version 5.0...

Now who here didn’t see this coming?

I mean, good grief Charlie Brown. It’s as honkin’ big as Cyrano De Bergerac’s nose!!! If you miss that, you’re blind (or looking the other way)!!!

Then again, the modus operandi of the previous four years isn’t about to go away because Al-Obambi got re-elected….so of course Bambi’s going to reboot it now. This sort of presidential pisspottery and pot-calling-the-kettle-black crap, with the obligatory aid of the lap-dog lame stream media as willing accomplices, has clearly made the United States government the laughing stock of the globe. Does the Democratic party really think that We The People™ are that brainwashed? Yes, obviously those occupants of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue do. Then again they also believe that if you don’t happen to live at that particular address, then you’re just a peon and incapable of rational human thought.

WRONG there Bambi!!!

You’re the fracking arsehole that pushed for the sequestration months ago. Wait, there’s the answer! Al-Obambi is suffering from early onset Alzheimer’s. We’re in luck, that disease is not covered by his all-encompassing “universal” budget-busting “FREE” healthcare bill. Sorry sir, we’ve deemed you untreatable and you’re being voted off the island. Please leave. No, we don’t have any parting prizes for you. Just go.

What’s this? We can’t criticize the anointed one?

Bullshit we can’t! There still is this thing called the FIRST AMENDMENT you fracking arrogant weasels. Yes, that old, crusty document that you and your fracking arrogant weasel buddies are trying to rip to shreds because it’s full of “negative liberties”.

Get over it! It happens to be the LAW OF THE LAND. And also the thing you pledged to uphold in your OATH OF OFFICE!!!

Yes, in case you missed it I am seriously pissed right now. Al-Obmabi, Jay Carney, Nancy Piglousy, Harry “Dick” Reid, and the rest of the progressives in DC are doing nothing more than the equivalent of throwing a two-year old TANTRUM because they can’t get their way. Obambi claims that the GOP is siding with the rich and wealthy by forcing the sequestration to proceed, but plainly forgets that he’s clearly on the Autobahn with the destination of DESTROYING the America we all know and love! He clearly believes it’s not a matter of “if” but “when” he will arrive at the intended destination. And he’s doing so with a rather Adm. Farragut attitude of “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead”.

It’s not getting any prettier around here anytime soon denizens. We here at the Southern Command are prepping, are you?



‘Will there be resistance? Absolutely there will be resistance,’ he [Bambi] said.

You have no idea, you syphilitic son-of-a-Kenyan-crack-whore-bitch.

You.  Have.  No.  Fucking.  Idea.


(Hat tips:  Hoft & Drudge)

First-time jobless claims for this week:  439,000.

Inflation up.

Recession in Euroweaselstan – the second since 2009.  Headed here soon.

Yeah, Demo-bastards…how’s that hopey-changey shit working out for youse?

Fuck it all.

Let God’s judgement rain down on this country.  It’s earned it.


Trillions in debt.

Running billion-dollar deficits out the effing wazoo.

The United States credit rating downgraded twice  in his four years occupying the White House.

A laughingstock overseas.

A United States ambassador (J. Christopher Stevens) murdered, sodomized, dragged through the streets of Libya and Cthulhu knows what  else.

Other US embassies attacked, vandalized and torched.

And all B. HUSSEIN!!!  Obambi can come up with…is Big Bird.



Well, whaddya know?!  A Demoscum finally  submitted a bona fide, for-real budget proposal!!!!!1!!ONE!1!ELEVENTYQUADRILLION!!~

Holy crap!!!  That Demoscum was actually B. HUSSEIN!!! Obambi!!!

And…uh…well, it was a close vote, anyway.

President Obama’s budget was defeated 414-0 in the House late Wednesday, in a vote Republicans arranged to try to embarrass him and shelve his plan for the rest of the year.

Actually, like one of the commenters to this story pointed out, you don’t really need the GOP to embarrass the Ayatollah.  He’s doing a pretty damned good job o’ that  on his own.

Now, consider for a minute.  This “budgert proposal” (if you wanna call it that, it was so pathetic) got shot down 414-0.

Bambicare is looking like it  might be toast, as well.

Gas prices?  Don’t even  get me started on that.

Yet, poll after poll after poll I’m seeing suggests the American people want to give this douchebag a second term.

If the presidential election were held today, 47% of Americans would vote for President Obama, 39% would vote for Mitt Romney and 14% are not at all sure. Last month, 46% said they would vote for President Obama while 37% said they would vote for Mitt Romney. Among Independents, it’s a closer race with 43% voting for the President and 41% voting for the former governor and 48% of adults in the 2012 Swing States (Colorado, Florida, Indiana, Iowa, Nevada, New Hampshire, North Carolina, Ohio, and Virginia) voting for President Obama and 41% voting for Mitt Romney.

Anyone else besides me see a big disconnect here?


(Hat tip (unfortunately) to Malicious Malkin – her’s is the only place I’ve seen this.)

Let’s call it “Operation Get-In-Their-Faces – Part II“.

As the A.F.L.-C.I.O. prepares to endorse President Obama on Tuesday, labor leaders say they will mount their biggest campaign effort, with far more union members than ever before — at least 400,000, they say — knocking on voters’ doors to counter the well-endowed “super PACs” backing Republicans.


Unions first used their expanded ability in a big way in Ohio last November to educate and mobilize both union and nonunion voters in a battle to repeal a law that curbed bargaining rights for Ohio’s teachers, firefighters and other public employees. Spurred by 17,000 union volunteers, labor won in a blowout, with Ohioans voting 62 percent to 38 percent to repeal a law that the Republican-dominated Legislature had enacted seven months earlier.

Uh-huh.  And I still  haven’t figured out why John Kasich didn’t just turn around, say “Oh yeah, union asshats?  Watch this“, and file for bankruptcy, like he should  have.

Elections have consequences, y’know.  Or at least, they ought  to.

Anyway, Bull(shit) Trumka, feel free to bring a few of your goons campaigners goons down here just a couple blocks north of Cowboys Stadium.  And just try  to get in my  face.

I and my friends – Mr. Mossburg, Mr. Springfield, Mr. Glock & Mr. Walther – will be only so happy to greet you.



(Hat tip Hot Air.)

The Department of “Would You Like Some Brie With That Whine, Sir?” notes that the Ayatollah B. HUSSEIN!!!!!  Obambi is once again whining about how oh-so-haaaaaarrrrrrrrrdddddd  the job of being President is.

How Mr. Obama manages to do that while also balancing American interests is a question that officials acknowledge will plague this historic president for months to come. Mr. Obama has told people that it would be so much easier to be the president of China. As one official put it, “No one is scrutinizing Hu Jintao’s words in Tahrir Square.”

Bill Kristol nails it in one.

Mr. Obama is right.

If you’re president of China, people around the world who are fighting for freedom don’t really expect you to help. If you’re president of China, you don’t have to put up with annoying off-year congressional elections, and then negotiate your budget with a bunch of gun-and-religion-clinging congressmen and senators. If you’re president of China, you can fund your national public radio to your heart’s content. And if you’re president of China, when you host a conference on bullying in schools, people take you seriously.

Unfortunately for him and us, Barack Obama is president of the United States. That job brings with it certain special responsibilities. It’s a tough job—maybe tougher than being president of China. But Barack Obama ran for president of the United States. Maybe he should start behaving as one.

And commenter “hboulware” puts the cherry on top.

Well Obama should have thought of that. I’m not to keen on sympathy for poor,overworked, unappreciated President Present. My job is hard too you freaking whiner. You ran for this job and you got it. Quit the constant moaning and DO YOUR JOB!!

I love it when my posts get written for me.

RAYEGUN:  Oh, so that’s  why you hired us.

VENOMOUS:  Hush, you.


Item:  Captain Gaffetastic planted his foot in his cockholster again the other day.

Vice President Biden jokingly expressed his frustration toward Republicans on Tuesday, accusing them of having insincere concerns about the budget deficit.

Biden jokingly said that GOP protests about the need for a balanced budget made him want to strangle them, which the vice president quickly clarified was a figure of speech.

“If I hear one more Republican tell me about balancing the budget, I am going to strangle them,” Biden said at a fundraiser in Minnesota, according to a pool report. “To the press, that’s a figure of speech.”

Probably a good thing you clarified so quickly, Baron von HairButtPlugs.

Fact is, you wouldn’t have the stones, y’little needle-dicked Douche-o-crat.

Oh, and by-the-by – yeah, you and your Kenyan enabler have  spent us into the poor house, dumb-ass.


(Hat tip RedState.)

This should surprise absolutely no one.

When Congress required most Americans to obtain health insurance or pay a penalty, Democrats denied that they were creating a new tax. But in court, the Obama administration and its allies now defend the requirement as an exercise of the government’s “power to lay and collect taxes.”

And that power, they say, is even more sweeping than the federal power to regulate interstate commerce.

Administration officials say the tax argument is a linchpin of their legal case in defense of the health care overhaul and its individual mandate, now being challenged in court by more than 20 states and several private organizations.

Under the legislation signed by President Obama in March, most Americans will have to maintain “minimum essential coverage” starting in 2014. Many people will be eligible for federal subsidies to help them pay premiums.

And I will still refuse to pay it.


(Hat tip:  Dan Riehl.)

So help me Cthulu, I don’t know whether to laugh my ass off or issue a CSITMF™.

KORRIOTH:  That depends.  Do you want a horde of Secret Service agents at your door?

VENOMOUS:  Guess it’s time to roll on the floor, huh?

MERLIN:  We’d say so, m’liege.

Here, Denizens, come have a look at this:

Ex-fuckin’-scuse me?  “Whose ass to kick”?!?!?!?!?!?!

OZY MCCOOL:  Does seem a little out of place, doesn’t it, Admiral?

VENOMOUS:  “Whose ass  to kick”?????

KORRIOTH:  I perceive you’re having some difficulty getting past that part of the interview.

VENOMOUS:  “Whose ass  to kick”?!?!!!1!!ONE!1!ELEVENTEENTY!?!

K’HADIBAK’H:  He’s having trouble with it.

Let’s be clear about one thing, sports fans.  Bambi is, without any doubt or question whatsoever, the biggest pussy  ever to occupy the White House – and yes, I’m including Jimmuh “Peanuthead” Carter in that group.  This wussbag wouldn’t last five minutes against my dear, sainted grandmother (God rest her soul).  This pansy-ass would not only hit  like a girl, he’d slap-fight  like a girl, too.

And he’s going to (snx)…to…(snnnnick)…to…(mmmmmf)…“kick some ass”


(Sorry, Denizens.  I’m gonna be out of pocket for a few hours.  Anyone got some oxygen?)



“One of the things that the conservatives have always brought to the table in America is a reminder that no law can replace personal responsibility. And the more power you have and the more influence you have, the more responsibility you have.” Clinton made the remarks at events sponsored by the Center for American Progress Action Fund on the upcoming anniversary of the bombing.

Thus sayeth he whom, as Dick Morris relates here, who has “personal responsibility” for Waco.  (And Juanita Broderick and Kathleen Willey, as well, but that’s another topic for another post.)


They’ll try to pound it through your head that today’s the 15th anniversary of the Oklahoma City Bombing.  That’s because they’re still trying to link Timmy McVeigh to the conservative movement.  Ideal for these bastards would be to find evidence that a Tea Partier has him for an ancestor, or something.

What they’re not  telling you – hoping, of course, you’ll forget – is that today is also  the seventeenth  anniversary of Waco – when they  were the direct cause of the deaths of some 50 men, women & children in a C4-ignited fire.

“They”, of course, is Kaiser Wilhelm von Slickmeister and his fellow pussified douchebags in Das Klintonreich™.

Never let it be forgotten that it was von der CitizenMurderer who gave the approval for Janet El Reño and her minions to torch the Branch Davidian safe house on this date in 1993 – and have been trying to blame the Right for “hate-this”, “hate-that” and “hate-the-other” ever-fucking-since.

Not to worry, motherfuckers.  Justice will prevail at some point.

I just hope I’m around to see it.


It would appear as if the Imperial Socialist Congress™ is poised to give FINGER.TXT to the American people.  (And yes, I’m already experiencing an RCOB™ over it.)

Two good articles on possible responses thereto can be found here and here.

That’s your homework assignment for today.  Go.  Shoo.


(Hat tip LC Rurik, via email.)

This would explain a great deal.


Well this  was certainly a nice way to treat the Dalai Lama – out the servants’ entrance alongside the trash.

Be mindful, Ayatollah – the real  trash gets taken out in November 2012.


« Previous Articles    
Glossary -  Disclaimer - Privacy Policy - History - The SpatulaFAQ
This blog is best viewed with your eyes. 
It helps, though, if you have Microsoft Internet Explorer  set about 1024x768 1280x1024 with your Favorites window activated on the left deactivated.  (At least until I can get a better handle on how WordPress works.)

(KORRIOTH:  Oh, great.  More wormholes.)

Mozilla Firefox doesn't do too badly, either; in fact, it's His Rudeness' browser of choice.
You can  use Nutscrape,  if you so desire - but why in blazes would you want to use a browser from a company that had to hide behind Janet El Reño's skirt to be successful?

And don't even  get me started on Opera or Chrome.  I'm not about  to trust any browser that won't let me change its color scheme.
Spatula City BBS! was based on WordPress platform 2.6 (it's 3.05 3.31 now), RSS tech , RSS comments design by Gx3.