Local time where you're at. ("Where you're at"?)

Now after the Sabbath, as it began to dawn toward the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary came to look at the grave.

And behold, a severe earthquake had occurred, for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven and came and rolled away the stone and sat upon it. And his appearance was like lightning, and his clothing as white as snow.

The guards shook for fear of him and became like dead men. The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid; for I know that you are looking for Jesus who has been crucified.

He is not here, for He has risen, just as He said.

-Matthew 28:1-6a

And may God add his blessings to the reading of His holy Word.

1,980 years ago, it wasn’t about candy-coated eggs, fake plastic colored straw or bunny rabbits.

Today, 1,980 years later…it still isn’t.

The secularists can scoff & sneer all they like.

We’ve read the end of the Book.  We win.

Remember why.

Happy Easter 2013, Denizens.  He is risen!!!

Satan has begun his eternal raping of Hugito the Needle-Dick™.

Let the party…commence!!!

Damn.  Did we say “10-point lead”?

Soooooo very sorry.

How about a 12-point thumping??? 

Tea Party favorite Ted Cruz was headed toward victory Tuesday night, pulling off a stunning coup and besting veteran Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst in a fierce, hard-fought, multi-million dollar Republican quest for Texas’ first open Senate seat in a decade.

In the GOP battle that became “establishment” versus Tea Party, Cruz held 56 percent of the vote to Dewhurst’s 44 percent, with 6.780 of 7,957 precincts reporting.

Now that probably won’t hold up, especially if the Southern Command down there goes ahead and takes their foot off Houston’s throat (grin), but this is damned encouraging to behold.

Memo to Davey Pants Pee-yew-hurst:  This is what you get for running like a Demoscum, boy.  Don’t come to us calling yourself a conservative when your entire campaign against Cruz came from the leftards’ Short-Bus playbook – right down to that fuckheaded Sandy Fonzo “Ted Cruz should be ashamed of himself, I don’t know how he can sleep at night” bullshit.

Demoscum  use those tactics, chump.  And you gave a textbook demonstration on why you’re well-known in Texas as a “moderate” (read:  libtard).  The only good thing about your excuse-for-a-campaign is that, because he endorsed you, I can now go back to calling him “Big Dickhead Perry”.

Now.  On to November, and yet another kicking of Donktard ass. 

According to Hoft over at Gateway Pundit, MSNBC has not only already called the race for Scott Walker in Wisconsin, Lt. Governor Rebecca “Babe” Kleefisch also wins tonight, 59-41.

SUCK IT, LIBTARDS!!1!!ONE!!1!!ELEVENTYBILLION!!1!!!~  BWAHHHHH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!!!!! 

Those of you who have read me for any  length of time – well, you probably knew it was coming all along, didn’t you? – but you know damned well what this is.

For now, click the link.  Go ahead.  Click it.  I effin’ dare  you.

And turn it up.  Waaaaaay  up.    )

That’s right, sportz fanz:  It’s vacation time for His Rudeness™.  A chance to Get Away From It All™ for the next 10 days or so.

Thanks to Bambi & his shitty economy, though, Mrs. Venomous & I are staying in town and not doing a helluva lot, due to the money just not being there.

MRS. VENOMOUS:  Ohhhhhh, don’t worry, sweetie.  We’ll find plenty  of things to do. (wink)

VENOMOUS: 

Vicar, General – you guys have the conn.  General…when you’re done chlorinating the gene pool of Occutards down there in the Southern Command™, could I borrow another squadron of those black helicopters…? 

Finally.

Jim Hoft is reporting that Ron “Lunatic” Paul has finally (FINALLY!) given up the ghost.

Rep. Ron Paul of Texas said Monday he will not compete in primaries in any of the states that have not yet voted — essentially confirming Mitt Romney will win the Republican presidential nomination.

Mr. Paul said he will continue to work to win delegates in states that have already voted and where the process of delegate-selection is playing out. He said that’s a way to make his voice heard at the Republican nominating convention in Tampa, Fla., in August.

“Moving forward, however, we will no longer spend resources campaigning in primaries in states that have not yet voted,” Mr. Paul said. “Doing so with any hope of success would take many tens of millions of dollars we simply do not have.”

Translation: “Mene mene tekel upharsin”.

If there is a Cthulhu, this will be the absolute last time we ever  see the words “Ron Paul” and “presidential candidate” in the same sentence.

But then we are  talking about the definitive blithering idiot, so I wouldn’t hold my breath.

[SCENE:  Deep space.  The Realm's™ brand-new Federation-class cruiser prototype, ISS Poseidon, has been joined by Mrs. Venomous' personal vessel, Apparition.  Poseidon, having been faster and thus first able to track the Facebook Nexus that apparently captured Lord Darth Venomous, has spent the last six hours scanning the energy ribbon that seems to serve as the nexus' gateway - without success.

On the bridge of Poseidon, Supreme General Rayegun is ship-to-ship with a highly-agitated Mrs. Venomous, and is desperately trying to calm her.]

And at long last, Widdle Jonnie Huntsboy has seen his personal “Mene Mene Tekel Upharsin” and decided to hang it up.

On Monday morning, Jon Huntsman announced his decision to quit his presidential bid following a poor showing in New Hampshire’s Jan. 10 primary. In his announcement, he derided the negativity permeating the GOP primary race and immediately threw his support behind Mitt Romney.

“Today, I am suspending my campaign for the presidency,” the former Utah governor and U.S. ambassador to China said during a news conference held in Myrtle Beach, S.C. “I believe it is now time for our party to unite around the candidate best equipped to defeat Barack Obama. Despite our differences and the space between us on some of the issues, I believe that candidate is Governor Mitt Romney.”

Oh, you really didn’t expect anything different, did you?  One Mormon endorsing another, that is?

This’ll add, what? Another 1.54 votes to Mittens’ total?

Yawn.

Well, she’s done.

Rep. Michele Bachmann will “suspend her campaign” a senior campaign officials tells ABC News, just hours after placing last in the Iowa caucuses and vowing to continue in South Carolina.

Bachmann finished sixth in Tuesday’s Iowa caucus.

Awwww, isn’t that tooooo bad?  Michelle “Malicious” Malkin’s hand-picked honey-girl candidate, out.  Fall down, go boom. 

Iowa has played a visible and vital role in Bachmann’s campaign since its inception.

It became the backdrop of her presidential bid when in June she announced her candidacy   (Their link, not mine.  -DV)

Yeah, it’s called “putting all your eggs in one basket, then dropping the basket”.

in her hometown of Waterloo.

Waterloo?  She sure about that?

Thanks for playing, Shelly girl.  And, as your strap-on buddy “Malicious” would say, DLTDHYITAOTWO.

We paid a lot for that door.

Drudge has it up that Kim Jong “Mentally” Il has packed it in.

Y’all know what that means…

PARRRRR-TEHHHHH!!!1!ONE!!!

(Pun very definitely intended.)

Denizens, to officially  start your week off, we have this from the Sibling Unit™:

The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals.

We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese.

However, less widely known is a Pride of lions, a Murder of crows (as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens), an Exaltation of doves and, presumably because they look so wise, a Parliament of owls.

Now consider a group of Baboons. They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates. And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons? Believe it or not…

… a Congress!

“Indeed”, as the Puppy Blender™ would say.

From that, we jump to some breaking news that’s hitting Fox as I type this (and confirmed by Drudge via CNN)…that Bawney Fag is bailing out on Congress.

Merry Christmas, Denizens! 

ABC News has broken the news (confirmed by Roto-Reuters) that NATO forces have killed Moammar Qaddafi.

More later, possibly.

UPDATE:  The Picture™ is below the fold, for those of you who want to look (it ain’t pretty, you’ve been warned)…

(Hat tip:  Hot Air via Michelle.)

Not sure why it’s taken this long, but the Ayatollah’s approval rating (according to Gallup – everyone else’s mileage may vary ‘n all that) has finally crashed through the 40% barrier to settle at 39%.

Translation:  He’s lost all the independents, and is now beginning to lose part of the base.  (You can figure out for yourselves which part of it.  It ain’t the 99%-ers, that’s for damned sure.)

At this rate – assuming the GOP nominates the right candidate (and that’s by no means a given) – the only question will be whether it’s a 49- or 50-state landslide.

He’s in.

CHARLESTON, S.C. — Rick Perry said Saturday he’s running for president to “get America working again” and to bring Texas’ economic success and vision of limited government to Washington.

“That’s why, with the support of my family, and unwavering belief in the goodness of America, I declare to you today my candidacy for President of the United States,” he told a crowd of conservative bloggers meeting in South Carolina , the first southern state that will vote in the Republican nominating contest.

Now, those of you who aren’t the Uninitiated™ know that no one’ll ever confuse me with the president of the Big Dickhead Perry fan club.  In fact, I’ve been downright inhospitable to the man.

But he has my vote.  Primarily because no other candidate in this field has shown the cojones  to call B. HUSSEIN!!!  Obambi what he is – a miserable failure in the White House.

Perry/Bachmann 2012.

Sanity appears to have held on in Wisconsin last night (h/t Drudge):

After tens of millions of dollars spent by outside interest groups, dozens of attack ads and exhaustive get-out-the-vote efforts, Democrats on Tuesday fell short of their goal of taking control of the state Senate and stopping the agenda of Gov. Scott Walker.

Republicans won four of six recall races, meaning the party still holds a narrow 17-16 majority in the Senate — at least until next week, when Sens. Robert Wirch, D-Pleasant Prairie, and Jim Holperin, D-Conover face their own recall elections. A third Democrat, Sen. Dave Hansen, D-Green Bay, easily survived a recall attempt last month.

Sens. Robert Cowles, R-Green Bay, Sheila Harsdorf, R-River Falls, Luther Olsen, R-Ripon, and Alberta Darling, R-River Hills, successfully defended their seats Tuesday.

Hey, unions!

This  is what democracy looks like…!!!1!!ONE!!1!!ELEVEN!!!1!