Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 14:32
Denizens, don’tcha just wonder what the pro-American-flag-burning crowd is thinking about this Right About Now?
Tensions over immigration reform heightened in the Phoenix area’s East Valley Thursday when students raised a Mexican flag over Apache Junction High School — and then other students yanked it down and burned it.
Good on ‘em. It’s about time these fucking snot-noses had it shoved up their collective ass that the universe doesn’t revolve around them and their illegal excuses-for-parents.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 22:05
Denizens, I dunno ’bout you, but this sounds suspiciously like a threat.
A top Republican pollster has a warning for GOP congressional candidates in 2006: distance yourself from President Bush at your own peril.
Oh, really? Speaking as a constituent – you know, those of us who put you Congresscretins where you are today? – I have a warning for you to which you might pay more attention: Do what we want, or it won’t matter where you are in relation to Shrubya.
In a memo to RNC chairman Ken Mehlman, Jan van Lohuizen said the link between President Bush and Republicans in the House and Senate is too strong to break.
“The president,” he wrote, “is seen universally as the face of the Republican Party. We are now brand W. Republicans.”
As long as President Take-It-Up-The-Ass-From-Vinnie-Fox insists on this half-assed “guest worker” program, that’s not exactly a designation I’d embrace, y’know?
As a result, he said, Republicans tread on dangerous ground when they criticize the White House.
“Attacking the president,” he continued, “is counter-productive for all Republicans, not just the candidates launching the attacks. If he drops, we all drop.”
Then get your shit together in time for the midterms, or you all fucking drop. Starting with HR4437.
The veteran pollster also argued that results in the 2006 mid-term elections would be driven primarily by voter turnout. He is concerned Republicans will not be able to rally as large a turnout as Democrats.
You sure as Hell won’t if you keep acting like the Party of Stoopid and running with tail tucked between legs from every illegal alien group that thinks they have a right to tell us how to run our country!
“Anything we do to depress turnout, by not running as a unified party for instance,” he said, “could very well lead to serious consequences in November.”
Only if you’re unified in favor of yet another illegal-alien amnesty program.
You spineless bastards have been warned. We’re pissed, and we’re under no moral compulsion to vote for you, or even to come out and vote at all.
Govern yourselves accordingly.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 13:03
LC Xealot over at the Empire had a brilliant take on the immigration issue in this thread.
Read it here and see if this doesn’t just say it all:
The illegal immigration thing is an easy issue to explain. I had a liberal friend who argued with me on the subject, and I explained it like this:
The USA is our home, we live here… and we have rules, just like we have rules for our homes.
You don’t let just any idiot in your home, you have to get to know the person first.
1) Are you a felon? If so, I ain’t lettin’ you in my home. Why would anyone want criminals in their house… or their country?
2) Can you speak my language? If not, why would I want you in my home? What use are you to me if I cannot communicate with you.
3) Are you a mooch? I don’t let people in my home who raid my fridge without asking. Same goes for illegals and government services. If you bring your own beer though, we’re cool. I.e. if you work for it.
4) Do you know something? I’m not in the habit of letting dumb, lazy people in my home. Why would I want you here? We have enough dumb people to deal with as it is.
5) Do you know stuff about me, and do I know stuff about you? You don’t let someone who you know nothing about and who knows nothing about you into your home. So lets try some basic questions… like you know, What’s a Bill of Rights and where’s the statue of Liberty. And I’ll ask you some questions like “Where are you from?”
6) Are you sick or diseased? I don’t let people who are hacking up germs in my home, and we don’t want diseased people imported into our country either.
7) Do you hate me? If you espouse a hatred of me, I don’t want you in my home… or my country.
This is what Legal immigration is all about. Liberals make it out to be some racial thing, but you’ll notice that nowhere in that text did I ask or care about race or nation of origin. I don’t care where your house is, I don’t care what color your skin is. But I do care about those things above. We live here, this is our home, and it’s our right to say who comes in and who stays out. Anyone who says different has an agenda… a pretty messed up one at that.
“Indeed”, as the ACLU-boinking Instapundit might say…
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 13:43
Item: John “Silence the Vote” McCain (thanks, Alan K. Henderson) is scheduled to speak at Liberty University’s commencement.
Caller on Limbaugh a few moments ago postulated that the likely reason McCain is going there is to tweak the Christian Right and tell them that they will never win another election, so they might as well get behind his all-but-inevitable campaign for ’08.
To which, IYAM, the Christian Right should reply: “We may not win the election – but we can sure as Hell keep you from winning it, moron”.
Just sayin’, is all.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 11:41
Denizens, the Stupid Letter Of The Month award goes to some moron named David Swaim in Dallas. Since I’ve no idea how long the Dullest Moaning Snooze will keep it on their site, I copied it here.
(As before, sorry – don’t have access to the original letter to which Swaim the Short Bus Swami was referring.)
Here is what has to be one of the most stupid-assed lines ever uttered in any letter to the editor ever:
Entering the U.S. illegally is not a crime.
Let’s hear little Davey Swaim utter that brilliant line once again, shall we?
Entering the U.S. illegally is not a crime.
One more time, just for posterity’s sake:
Entering the U.S. illegally is not a crime.
Davey Swaim – you, dumbass, are one of the most stupid, fuckheaded, asshatted MORONS it’s ever been my displeasure to read.
Where the fuck did you ever get the idea that doing something – anything – illegally was not a crime, you fucking loon?
Damn, we need to send some of these shitheads back to Romper Room…
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 8:25
It occurs to me that of all the folks we send to Iraq, Barry Lynn (
Assholes Americans United for Separation of Church & State) should top the list.
I mean, look: Either he secularizes them, or they lop off his head.
Either way…we win. Y’know?
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 18:56
(Hat tip to the SpatulaGoddess – sorta. (I’d read it already))
Proving yet again that thespians are at their most dangerous – to themselves, that is – when not reading someone else’s lines, the Department of You Can’t Be Fuckin’ Serious brings us Sharon “Beaver Shot” Stone, and her take on the 2008 presidential race.
LONDON: Sharon Stone says former first lady Hillary Clinton should wait before running for president because she is too sexy for the post.
According to contactmusic.com, Stone says the New York senator should take her place in the White House but only after she has lost some of her sexual power.
She says: “I think Hillary Clinton is fantastic. But I think it is too soon for her to run. This may sound odd, but a woman should be past her sexuality when she runs. Hillary still has sexual power, and I don’t think people will accept that. It’s too threatening.”
All together now…1…2…3:
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 16:32
For a second straight day, snot-nosed chickenshit punks showed their asses in downtown Dallas.
Hundreds of students stormed Dallas City Hall on Tuesday morning, forcing police officers to shut down the building’s elevators and corral rowdy protesters in the lobby.
Probably a good thing I wasn’t there. A few dozen of those whiny-assed brats might’ve gotten hurt.
At least one girl was seriously injured en route to the protest in a vehicle accident.
Sorry, no sympathy. Disobey the rules, see what happens to you.
But just watch – the bimbo’s asshole parents will probably sue the school district now.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 21:35
Not much time to do a whole lot today, Denizens, so here’s something out of the Grab-Bag from the Mothergoose:
The Internal Revenue Service sends an auditor to a synagogue. The auditor is doing all the checks and then turns to the rabbi and says, “I noticed that you buy a lot of candles.”
“Yes,” answered the rabbi.
“Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?” he asked.
“A good question,” noted the rabbi. “We actually save them up and when we have enough, we send them back to the candle maker and every now and then, they send us a free box of candles.”
“Oh,” replied the auditor somewhat disappointed that his unusual question actually had a practical answer.
“Rabbi, what about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with all the crumbs from the matzo?”
“Ah, yes,” replied the rabbi calmly, “we actually collect up all the crumbs from the matzo and when we have enough, we send them in a box back to the manufacturer and every now and then, they send a box of matzo meal.”
“Oh,” replied the auditor, thinking hard how to fluster the rabbi.
“Well, Rabbi,” he went on, “what do you do with all the foreskins from the circumcisions?”
“Yes, here too, we do not waste,” answered the rabbi. “What we do is save up all the foreskins, and when we have enough we actually send them to the Internal Revenue Service.”
“Internal Revenue?!,” questioned the auditor in disbelief.
“Ah, yes,” replied the rabbi, “Internal Revenue…and about once a year, they send us a little dick just like you.”
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 7:10
We lost yet another icon yesterday. Alvis Edgar “Buck” Owens has died at his home in California. He was 76.
Buck Owens was a country swing star long before country swing was cool, and long before I’d ever heard of him. I first noticed this man when he teamed with another country singer named Roy Clark to host a comedy program called “Hee Haw” – one of the most popular shows of all time – which ran in first-run prodcution for nearly 20 years, and is still in syndication today. It was a show that didn’t have an agenda, other than to make America laugh.
No preaching, no political correctness, none of that – the cast & crew of Hee Haw wanted to make you laugh, and that was it. And, they never failed to do precisely that.
Godspeed, Buck, and prayers for your surviving family. You will be very much missed.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 16:40
Guys, you will remember last year when Cingular Wireless (piss be upon them) dropped the axe on what was a promising career for me.
Since the tail end of November, I’ve been working as a contractor for a no-it-will-not-be-named company (yes, Cianderella Tierney, the no-he-really-doesn’t-work-at-EDS chickenshit, still reads this blog and tries to hack into the comments on occasion, and I’ll not give him the chance to try and get me fired before I’m ready), doing the PC-techie thing.
That will end on April 5th. On April 6th, I will begin yet another PC-techie-type position – this one being a temp-to-hire gig paying very nearly what I was making at Cingular to start, with a negotiable conversion rate (IOW, when I’m hired on three months hence, I get to negotiate my starting salary. Schweet).
Thanks to all y’all (yes, the plural of “y’all” is “all y’all” (grin)) for your prayers during the last five months or so. They’ve really been appreciated.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 11:04
Well, I never thought I’d hear myself saying this, but I think it’s time:
Get the troops out of Afghanistan. As in, yesterday.
And I say that because, if this is the way they’re going to thank us, an ostensibly Christian nation, for saving their ragheaded asses from the Taliban…then it’s long past time to get our troops out.
So we can nuke that shithole back to Hell™.
Despite an international outcry over the prospect of “liberated” Afghanistan executing a former Muslim for converting to Christianity, a judge dealing with the case today said his nation’s judiciary will ignore outside pressure and act “independently.”
Why do I get the feeling this Islamoprick’s been listening to a little too much Sandy Ditz O’Bint?
Yesterday, hopes were rising that 42-year-old Abdul Rahman would be spared, amid widespread reports Afghanistan’s government was attempting to find a face-saving way to free the man facing a death penalty.
Afghan prosecutors reportedly claimed Rahman – facing death for converting 16 years ago from Islam to Christianity – might be “mad,” and therefore not prosecutable.
Take a good, long look, Denizens. “Mad”.
What you’re looking at is Christianity’s future in this country, and not nearly as far down the road as you might think. The day is coming when this ragheaded colostomy bag’s views will be pretty much de rigueur in this country.
Rahman is charged with rejecting Islam, a crime under Afghanistan’s Shariah-based laws.
“We think he could be mad. He is not a normal person. He doesn’t talk like a normal person,” prosecutor Sarinwal Zamari told the Associated Press.
No. He actually sounds like an average American. You know – the Christians who saved your sorry Islamonazi asses?
“Doctors must examine him,” Moayuddin Baluch, a religious adviser to President Hamid Karzai, said according to the same report. “If he is mentally unfit, definitely Islam has no claim to punish him. He must be forgiven. The case must be dropped.”
The case needs to be dropped anyway, you fucking Seventh Century rejects.
But today, Afghan Supreme Court judge Ansarullah Mawlavizada said, “Afghanistan is an Islamic country and its judiciary will act independently and neutrally,” according to a Reuters report. “No other policy will be accepted apart from Islamic orders and what our constitution says,” Mawlavizada added.
Suggest you rethink that policy, raghead. Especially in light of the fact that the people who saved your sorry asses could find something else to do…say, on the Mexican border. Be a damned shame if some Ba’athist terrorists came knocking on the doors there and found no one home but you burqa’d bastards.
Then again, you might just welcome them in with a hearty “hail fellow, well met”…
Dammit, now I need to go to the range…
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 8:15
Denizens, your Amazing Item Of The Day is a two- or three-year-old video that was brought to my attention by the Sibling Unit.
Dial-up Denizens, may take a bit, be patient. This is worth it.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 22:53
Memo to Mark Cuban: If your team can’t beat the San Transexual Limp-wristed Warriorettes, it doesn’t deserve to win the NBA championship.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 12:41
Dingy Harry Reid must be suspecting that Dr. YEARRRRRRGH!!! is either planning on resigning as Demoscummic head, or is at the very least vulnerable to a coup. Because he’s sticking his feet in his mouth almost with Dean-like regularity nowadays in what looks for all the world like at attempt to take over as head of the Party of Asses.
His latest verbal excrement came yesterday in an interview with the Assphyxiated Piss.
Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid called President Bush “dangerously incompetent” on Wednesday and said the administration ought to be doing more to prevent increasing sectarian violence in Iraq.
Actually, we agree. We here in the Realm propose that you and the rest of the Donktards in Congress volunteer to go and take the place of the Iraqi citizens.
That way, the Iraqis could be spared, the terrorists could have someone to practice their jihad on and America would be rid of its problems, as well. Everybody’s happy.