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All is good at the Parsonage this evening. The Starkville high school Yellow Jackets won their play-off game against Southaven 35-10, Ole Miss got beat by Arkansas 30-0, and the Mississippi State Bulldogs beat Vanderbilt 51-0. This makes the Dawgs 10 and 1, and unbeaten at home for the season. Looking forward to next week’s Egg Bowl.

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Those of you who have read me for any  length of time – well, you probably knew it was coming all along, didn’t you? – but you know damned well what this is.

For now, click the link.  Go ahead.  Click it.  I effin’ dare  you.

And turn it up.  Waaaaaay  up.    )

That’s right, sportz fanz:  It’s vacation time for His Rudeness™.  A chance to Get Away From It All™, as it were.

For the first time in ten years, this is a multi-week vacation, as I get two whole weeks to spread as much hate & discontent as I possibly can.

MRS. VENOMOUS (with cast-iron skillet):  You are not  going to any strip clubs, you hear meeeeeee?!?!?!?!!

VENOMOUS:  Yeah, yeah, whatever, woman.

MRS. VENOMOUS (with cast-iron skillet):  CLAAAANNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!

…uh, ow.

Vicar, General – you guys have the conn.  General…when you’re done chlorinating the gene pool of Twinkie-hating union goons down there in the Southern Command™, could I borrow a couple cases of Band-Aids©…?

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As we launch this pre-holiday edition of the Perfect Football Weekend™, Denizens, I find myself having lost all respect for one Adrian Peterson of the Minne-haha ViQueens.

No, not because he drew a tiny dollop of blood when he spanked his son a little too hard with a switch.  (As an aside…Steffi Dawn Stewart, I trust you’re not taking it easy on our son when it comes to discipline.  I would hate to think he turned out…well, like you.)

No, I’ve lost respect for the man because he caved in to the NFL and promised “never to use a switch as discipline on any of his children again”.

“I won’t ever use a switch again,” Peterson told USA Today Sports in his first extensive public remarks since being indicted for reckless or negligent injury to a child. “There’s different situations where a child needs to be disciplined as far as timeout, taking their toys away, making them take a nap. There’s so many different ways to discipline your kids.”

[...]

Commissioner Roger Goodell, in a statement announcing Peterson’s suspension, was critical of the star running back, saying, “You have shown no meaningful remorse for your conduct.”

And what the ever-loving fuck  do you  know about “discipline”, Roger Goodfella?  Hell – you  thought it was okay to only suspend Ray Rice two fucking games!!!

Bastard.

As for you, Peterson – thanks for letting us know your kids are now gonna grow up to be just like the doucherifles over there in Ferguson, MO.

See, Denizens, this is what I rail about when I scream bloody murder about the pussification of America.  Peterson’s kid probably had a spanking coming, but because a droplet of blood emanated from his butt-ocks (a little Forrest Gump lingo, there), the metrosexual pansy-assed dickless wonders that make up the Low-Information Lunatic Lickspittles™ of our society clutch their pearls, acquire Teh Vapors™ and decry what, fifty to sixty years ago, this society would have roundly cheered.

And then we wonder how we could have elected an illegal Kenyan bastard to the White House – twice – and then just sit, whine & kvetch when he goes and blatantly violates the Constitution instead of manning up, getting off our asses and going and doing  something about it.

Thanks, A.P.

Dumbass.

Let’s get on with the football.  My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets have a chance to do what no Fort Worth “hah skrewl” (a little Rush lingo, there) team has done in nearly 15 years:  Win an area football playoff game.

They have Wichita Falls Rider tonight at 7:30 in Mineral Wells.  Rider & Heights look to be pretty evenly matched – they beat White Settlement Brewer by more than did Heights, but didn’t beat Grapevine by as many as Heights did.  They’re capable of putting up points, but they can also give them up, too.  Should be a good game.

Sunday, Andy Dalton’s Cincinnati Bengals come to the Southern Command™ to take on Supreme General Rayegun’s Texans.  If they can keep J.J. Watt out of the endzone (either offensively or defensively), they might have a shot.  Vegas has the Texans as a two-point home favorite, which translates to a toss-up.  I guess it’ll depend on whether Ryan FitzPatrick takes the field.

TCU is off this week, so we’ll have four wildcard games: Rock Chalk to go into Norman and give #21 Oklahoma a scare (and if Kansas does  pull off the upset, they’ll be calling for Bob Stoops’ head before the night’s out), #25 UMinnesota to have a letdown game against #23 Nebraska (and believe me, I’d love for Jerry Kill’s bunch to go in and upset Bo Pelini’s kids, but I just don’t see it happening), eighth-ranked Ole Miss to give Ar-kansas a shellacking in Fayetteville (I will never pick the Hogs for anything, ever), and Liberty U. to get their asses whipped at Coastal Carolina.  (Sorry, Turner – I was gonna pick you…but then I saw whom you were playing, and you couldn’t beat ‘em at home last year, so…(shrug))

We’re back Monday for the recap.  (And it will  be Monday, too – tune into this channel tomorrow to learn why.  (Hint:  This is as close to a countdown  as you guys are gonna get this year.  One.))

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Welp…there go the playoffs.

Arlington Heights 70, Burleson Centennial 28 (Bi-District)

#4 TCU 34, at Kansas 30

Cincinnati 27, New Orleans 10

Oklahoma 42, at Texas Tech 30

at #20 Wisconsin 59, #16 Nebraska 24

at #5 Alabama 25, #1 Mississippi State 20

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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This actually happened a while back, but it seems that not all Federal judges have drank the “marriage equality” koolaid. Check this out.

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Since January, we have had five people begin worshipping with us who moved from that delightful place you have always called “North Ice”., just in case you are interested.

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Denizens, we launch into this week’s edition of the Perfect Football Weekend™ with yet another blurb from the Penn State debacle – this time with the No Cojones At All™ administration coming >< this close to stepping into a pile of shit up to its collective head.

To wit:

“A newly disclosed email from the NCAA’s top lawyer documents just how close Penn State came to having its football program shut down due to the Jerry Sandusky child abuse scandal.

It says the school’s “cooperation and transparency” saved the program.”

(Sorry for the formatting – looks like WordPress is vomiting up a lot of my coding tonight.)

That would be the “cooperation and transparency” into which it was browbeaten & cowed, if you’ll recall.

“The email from lawyer Donald Remy to a school attorney was attached to a court filing Thursday, as the NCAA battles with two Pennsylvania officials over penalties that were imposed on Penn State.

The email establishes that on July 17, 2012, six days before the Penn State sanctions were announced, a majority on the NCAA executive committee favored the “death penalty,” shutting down the football program.”

And again, this is the NCAA threatening to shut down the football program for the actions of people who weren’t even employed there, simply because they had certain access to certain buildings, where they performed activities that were not even sanctioned by the university, that were eventually dealt with by school personnel in accordance with Pennsylvania law.

This would be akin to Arlington Heights losing its football program for me entering the school building and performing some illegality, any illegality, that was arbitrarily & capriciously deemed to be _¡qué horrible!_

Damn good thing I’m not the PSU chancellor.  My lawsuit against the NCAA would have started at ten (10) digits, and gone from there.  (For the pussies in the Church of the SubTarded, that’s one-extra-extra-extra-extra large, or one billion.)

Once again…fuck you, NCAA.

Very quickly now, on with the football.  As I write this, my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets, fresh off a perfect season, are in the bi-district playoffs against Burleson Centennial HS down south of Realm™ HQ, in Mansfield.  As of this writing, Heights is up 7-0, so we’ll keep an eye on that.

Tomorrow, Gary Patterson takes his fourth-ranked TCU Horned Frogs – yes, that’s right; if the season ended today, the Frogs would be in the playoffs – up to Lawrence to play Rock Chalk.  The Tadpoles are a solid 28-point favorite here, so unless they lay a complete egg, I don’t see them breaking _that_ much of a sweat.

Sunday, Andy Dalton’s Cincinnati Kittycats – fresh off that humiliation at the hands of Cleveland (Cleveland?), try to snap out of it vs. the Saints at the Superdome in N’awlins.  This isn’t the best place to try to snap out of a funk, but N’awlins isn’t playing all that well, either (they’re one game under .500), so even though they’re a 7-point favorite at home, Cincy’s got a shot here.

Wild card games are as follows: *Oklahoma* traveling to Lubbock & taking out their Baylor frustrations on TTech (sorry, Generalette), #16 Nebraska going up to Madison to get pounded on by #20 *Wisconsin* (Joel Stave’s not quite as crappy a quarterback as Tommy Armstrong), and top-ranked Mississippi State running into fifth-ranked *Alabama’s* buzzsaw (sorry, Vicar).

We’re back next week with the recap.  Maybe it’ll be Monday – who knows?

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Jenna said what?

[...]

Did she mention me by name, or was it just kinda like was she just talking in general…?

She mentioned you by name, dumbass.  She said you were a little metrosexual dickweed, and she never wanted to see you again.

There.  Happy now?

This  is why I never patronize Sonic anymore.  Take the hint, Sonic.

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(This is in case that pussy Willie Amos deletes my response to you on Twitchy, you son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch.)

2314 Summer Oaks Ct, Arlington, TX.

Come spew your bullshit to my face, Stevie Gebeaux, you cowardly little pussy. See what happens to chickenshits who bring up my son in public forums.

Come on, doucherifle.  Grow a fuckin’ pair and let’s see what you’ve got, cuntrag.

I’m waiting.

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Something is wrong with Andy Dalton.

Arlington Heights 67, Western Hills 0

at #6 TCU 41, #7 Kansas State 20

at Cincinnati 3, Cleveland 24

Marshall 63, at Southern Miss 17

#23 West Virginia 16, T-Sip Shortdicks Texas 33

#20 Georgia 63, at Kentucky 21

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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Thank you.

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As we launch another edition of the Perfect Football Weekend, Denizens, we are compelled to revisit the railroading & virtual crucifixion of one Joseph Paterno, former Pennsylvania State University head football coach, and how he was made to account, drawn & quartered, for basically performing within the scope of his job.

In this column, we are now finding out that even the NCAA knew that it didn’t have the legal authority to hand down any sanctions on either Paterno or the PSU program.

New internal NCAA emails offer a glimpse into how the organization questioned its own decision-making leading up to the unprecedented sanctions levied against Penn State in 2012, saying at one point it was banking on the fact that the university “is so embarrassed they will do anything.”

Seven pages of emails — from July 13 to July 21, 2012 — were filed Sunday as part of a Pennsylvania state senator’s lawsuit against the NCAA.

NCAA president Mark Emmert announced the sanctions against the university July 23, 2012.

“Delicate issue, but how did PSU gain a competitive advantage by what happened?” Kevin Lennon, the NCAA vice president for academic and membership affairs, wrote July 14, 2012. “Even if discovered, reported, and actions taken immediately by the administration, not sure how this would have changed anything from a competitive advantage perspective.”

Julie Roe Lach, then the NCAA’s top enforcement officer, responded to Lennon about 75 minutes later. She told him that “Mark” — believed to be Emmert — thought Penn State did gain a competitive advantage, although she and several others disagreed with that point.

“I characterized our approach to PSU as a bluff when talking to Mark yesterday afternoon after the call,” she wrote.

[...]

“We find it deeply disturbing that NCAA officials in leadership positions would consider bluffing one of their member institutions, Penn State, to accept sanctions outside of their normal investigative and enforcement process,” the university said in a statement released Wednesday.

So, basically, the NCAA intimidated Penn State into firing JoePa and engaging in its own little bit of self-flagellation.

Now, there’s not a single one here who is saying that what Jerry Sandusky did wasn’t wrong.  What I’m saying is that neither PSU nor Paterno bore any responsibility in the matter (save for State firing Paterno & turning him into some sort of pariah), and should not have been held accountabled.  And for the NCAA to have done exactly that, through illegal means, smacks of the worst sort of fascism.

Fuck you & the horse you rode in on, NCAA.

On with the football.  Another early start to the PFW, but this time it’s Andy Dalton’s Cincinnati Bengals at home versus cross-state rival Cleveland for first place in the AFC Central.

Normally I wouldn’t give Brian Hoyer much chance on the road, but Cincy’s defense isn’t exactly the ’93 Cowboys.  Game goes to whomever has the ball last.

Last game of the regular season for Phil Young and my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets Friday evening, this one against the Western Hills Cougars (aka the Alma Mater™ of the First Wife™) – and, given what’s been done to them this year…well, call it overconfidence if you must, but Heights could play it’s third-string all game and rout these guys.

How bad is Western Hills?  Their only victory is against North Side.  By six points.

South Hills destroyed them on an Aledo scale, 83-7.

Trimble Tech, whom Heights smashed last week, 64-0?  The week prior, they beat Hills 60-18.

This will be the first unbeaten season in football for Heights in a long time.  How long?  Don’t know for sure, but I think I was going there at the time.

Saturday, it’ll be Gary Patterson’s sixth-ranked TCU Horned Frogs at home versus Bill Snyder’s seventh-ranked Kansas State Wildcats.  The purple team will win.

TCU needs this one.  Get it, and it’s all but a fait accompli  that they win the Big XII.  They’re home, so I feel better than I otherwise would, but it’ll still be close.

The wildcard games this week will be Marshall at Southern Miss (sorry, Vicar), #23 West Virginia taking out their frustrations versus TU (Charlie Strong runs into another buzzsaw), and #20 Georgia destroying Kentucky (the Dawgs are not happy about losing to Florida, and the Wildcats are gonna be made to pay).

We’re back next week with a recap. With any luck, it’ll actually be Monday.

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Didn’t have much time to begin with this week, frittered away what little I had, so this is all I got – results.

Arlington Heights 64, Trimble Tech 0

#7 TCU 31, #20 West Virginia 30

at Cincinnati 33, Jacksonville 23

#3 Auburn 35, at #4 Ole Miss 31

#18 Oklahoma 59, at Iowa State 14

Indiana 10, at Michigan 34

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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This commercial has always  pissed me off.

Somebody please  tell me why this girl doesn’t throw the apron back in her metrosexual boyfriend’s face, kick both  boyfriend and compadre (wingman?) in the crotch, pack whatever things of hers are there and leave  said boyfriend’s sorry ass?

Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?

Sheesh. 

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Well, the MSU Bulldogs are now 8 and 0 against Arkansas, Air Force destroyed Army, and Wisconsin beat Rutgers. In addition Ole Miss lost to Auburn and the Georgia lost to Florida. All in all, it was a good football day. Unfortunately, Mrs. Vicar’s Nittany Lions also lost, and had MSU lost, she would not have been a happy camper.

 

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