Welcome to the Realm™ - Version 5.0...
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________





(Hat tip:  Daily Caller.)

Here’s another one of those Booker T-type “She didn’t say that.  Tell me she didn’t just say that” moments.

After lamenting about how Russell Brand asked her for a divorce via text message, Katy Perry had this to say about current shack-up partner/fucktoy John Mayer:

“All I can say about that relationship is that he’s got a beautiful mind,” she says of the man responsible for “Your Body Is A Wonderland.” “Beautiful mind, tortured soul. I do have to figure out why I am attracted to these broken birds.”

Hmmm.

Well, Katherine, m’dear, maybe…just maybe… it has a little something to do with you being a brain-dead, liberal, eyes-grow-wide-and-bustier-drops-at-the-first-sign-of-a-cock skank, y’think?

Glad I could help.

Five cents, please. 

_____________________________________________________





Yes, Denizens, I know – this is a shocka  that could rise to the level of coronary induction. But according to the publicist, it’s all abso-effin’-lutely true.  Pinky-finger-swear.

Are you sitting down? Because we are about to unleash some information on you that is all but impossible to believe: Kim Kardashian staged her now-failed marriage to Kris Humphries, according to her former publicist. “She knew weeks before getting married she didn’t want to do it,” said Jonathan Jaxson, who worked with the reality star from 2007 to 2009, on the Elvis Duran Morning Show. “She’s never gotten over [ex Reggie Bush].” Jaxson claimed to have worked with Kardashian on similar stunts throughout their partnership in a bid to get her press, the New York Post reports.

“I staged several of the moments that the world has seen of her, such as a ring that we alleged was from Reggie Bush,” he said. “It was calculated to a T and then it was leaked to a magazine.”

Well, dip me in Angorgonzolic cheese and call me the Riker Maneuver. Shocked, shocked  I am to hear of this!!!

Yawn. 

_____________________________________________________





Damn.  Fuck.  Shit.  (And if the Vicar weren’t here, I’d say a helluva lot more than that.)

Chick-Fil-A just caved.

Chick-fil-A will no longer donate money to anti-gay groups or discuss hot-button political issues after an executive’s controversial comments this summer landed the fast-food chain in the middle of the gay marriage debate.

Executives agreed in recent meetings to stop funding groups opposed to same-sex unions, including Focus on the Family and the National Organization for Marriage, according to Chicago Alderman Proco Joe Moreno.

[...]

The agreement, announced Wednesday, could pave the way for the company to continue to grow not only in Chicago but in other metropolitan areas as well.

They won’t be doing so with any more of my  money.  Guaran-damn-fucking-teed.

Denizens, if you’ve read me for any  length of time, you’re perfectly aware of what I think about people (primarily Christians and/or conservatives) who take a stand for right in public, then back down from and/or apologize for said stand.

To me, it’s simple:  Do right, and fear no man.  Stand up for what you know to be the truth, and to Hell – literally – with those assclowns who would whine about it from behind the comfort & safety of their collective daddy’s pink taffeta hoop skirt.

And now, Chick-Fil-A has caved to a faggot-assed, heterophobic son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch Shit-cago alderman named Joe “Josephine” Moreno.  (Whom, if you ask me, should have a spiked titanium clue bad shoved right up his swishy ass.  On second thought, don’t – he might actually like  it.)

You’ve lost my business, Chick-Fil-A.  And my family’s.  And you’ve lost it permanently.

_____________________________________________________





(H/T to David Barton at WallBuilders and their FB site)

Seems the reports of Home Depot pulling their support for activists of the GLAAD variety was announced too soon. AFA (American Family Association) reports here that just the opposite is their choice.

I’m not a fan of boycotts but in this case I agree with AFA and will choose to no longer shop at Home Depot.

On another note, I’ll be scarce again for a few weeks. Having to go out and perform some maintenance and remodeling of the guard house at the west gate of the Command property. I’ll be in lurk mode for the time being though and could reply without warning. You have been warned.

ThatIsAll™

_____________________________________________________





(Hat tip:  411 Music.)

Those of you who’ve watched the Amy Winehouse saga like you would watch a bad train wreck, and wondering when her 15 minutes were going to be up…need wonder no further.


“Police were called by London Ambulance Service to an address in Camden Square NW1 shortly before 16.05hrs today, Saturday 23 July, following reports of a woman found deceased.

On arrival officers found the body of a 27-year-old female who was pronounced dead at the scene.

Enquiries continue into the circumstances of the death. At this early stage it is being treated as unexplained.”

Winehouse famously battled addiction to drugs and alcohol and was in and out of rehab several times throughout the years.

Last month, Winehouse canceled her European tour after a performance in Serbia where she seemed completely out of it.

Story developing …

No offense, but this isn’t much of a “story”.  “Burn the candle at both ends” like that (and believe me, that’s putting it nicely), and you eventually run out of candle.  Amy Winehouse simply hit the wall at warp speed, without benefit of an inertial-dampening system.

A waste, and a damned shame.

_____________________________________________________





Bullshit.

Just bullshit.

One hundred percent pure, unadulterated, non-biodegradeable bullshit.

First Mikey “Needledick” Schiavo, now this.  What the everlovin’ fuck  is it about Flori-duh and their nadless inability to get justice for cold-blooded murderers?

One thing’s for sure – there are between twelve & fifteen cowardly douchebags in Orlando right now.

_____________________________________________________





Denizens, I want y’all to look at this:

Now, apparently, Bea Arthur’s character is suffering from what they call “chronic fatigue syndrome” (something from which the show’s creator, Susan Harris, apparently suffers) – essentially, she’s got a virus, but that’s not dramatic enough, so let’s give it an ominous-sounding name, mkay? – and her doctor is apparently not bending over backwards to make her feel like a po’ widdle pwincess.

So “Dorothy” gives her ex-doc a sanctimonious, self-righteous tongue-lashing in a public place.  Which gets a major response from what is likely a leftard excuse-for-an-audience.

She then goes over and watches mutely (albeit with a shocked, SHOCKED  expression on her face) as Estelle Getty’s character essentially pulls a con on the restaurant manager to get a free, high-class meal.  Again, to the delirious approval of the audience.

So, essentially, Susan Harris is lampooning about the (lack of) morality of an allegedly-uncaring doctor…then demonstrating her own lack of morality by having her characters con an expensive restaurant (and apparently giving her approval over it).

And the audience just laps it up.

And then we all wonder why this country’s going to hell in a handbasket.

_____________________________________________________





(Hat tip for the new title to Patterico, who got it from some of his commenters.)

Fox News is reporting (and the lovely & gracious Michelle is apparently confirming) that Little Toni Weenie – the star of the hit reality series Whom Can I Tweet My Dick To Today?! – is, after weeks of defiantly (and arrogantly, I might add) maintaining that he won’t step down…stepping down.

Proverbs 16:18.

G’bye, Toni, thanks for playing.

_____________________________________________________





Denizens, may I introduce to you porn star Ginger Lee.

#Weinergate rolls on for Rep. Anthony Weiner, New York Democrat. Now we’re learning that the plagued congressman shared private communications with porn star and stripper Ginger Lee.

In a March 13 tweet, Tennessee-based Lee indicated that Weiner sent her a private Twitter message:

You know it’s a good day when you wake up to a DM from @RepWeiner”, Lee tweeted. “(I’m a fangirl, y’all, he’s my trifecta of win)”

When contacted by The Daily Caller, Lee wouldn’t say what Weiner sent her in that private direct message, or DM in Twitter-speak. Lee also refused to answer whether she and Weiner have had other private communications and declined to say whether Weiner has sent her photos of any kind. Instead, she downplayed the #Weinergate scandal.

“I haven’t met Rep Weiner. I follow him on twitter because I support him & what he stands for,” Lee said in an email to TheDC.

Now  do you wonder why she’s in the porn industry?  Certainly appears as if she’s not mentally qualified to do much of anything else.

“I have been hounded by his political opponents

I tend to think it’s not political opponents “hounding” her, but rather leftist horndogs who think she’d be a cheap, easy lay.

And who knows?  Given the abject lack of brainpower she’s exhibiting here…they may be right.

but that hasn’t changed my view of him and what he fights for.”

Actress Goldie Hawn has made a helluva lotta scratch (that’s money  for those of you in the Church of the SubTarded) playing ditzoid bimbos like the title role in Private Benjamin  and her airheaded schtick on Laugh-In.

On the other hand – with this bimboid Ginger Lee…I don’t think it’s acting.

_____________________________________________________





(Hat tip to Tallulah over at the Rott.)

When – no, not if, when – God finally decides He’s had enough and brings the United States to its knees and relegates it to the ash heap of history, no one should wonder why:

But back to the question of genius. The U.S. government under Barack Obama is deeply committed to battling any belittlement, criticism, or questioning of Islam. (“I consider it part of my responsibility as President of the United States,” he said, “to fight against negative stereotypes of Islam wherever they appear.”)

At the same time, however, it is OK, in the Obama regime [SEE BELOW FOR AN UPDATE], for the U.S. government to burn Bibles. Yes, that’s right. Bibles were sent to U.S. soldiers in Afghanistan. But the U.S. government determined that the presence of Bibles in this “devoutly Muslim country” might inflame the natives. So they burned them. Why did they burn them? Because it is military policy to burn its trash.

[...]

Isn’t that nice? Handle it “as if it were a fragile piece of delicate art.” But burn the Bible because it is just part of your trash.

Not gonna be long now, I think, Denizens.

_____________________________________________________





How high has Carlos “Charlie Sheen” Estevez jumped his personal shark?

Even his publicist can’t take any more.

Veteran Hollywood publicist Stan Rosenfield, who represented Charlie Sheen through the actor’s rehab attempts and breakup with his employers on the hit sitcom “Two and a Half Men,” abruptly resigned on Monday.

“I have worked with Charlie Sheen for a long time and I care about him very much,” Rosenfield wrote in a brief statement. “However, at this time, I’m unable to work effectively as his publicist and have respectfully resigned.” In a follow-up e-mail, Rosenfield said he had represented Sheen for at least seven years.

The move came on the same day that Sheen turned up in another round of interviews on ABC, NBC, TMZ and elsewhere, attacking everyone from CBS to his father, former “The West Wing” star Martin Sheen. Since CBS and Warner Bros. decided last week to halt production on “Two and a Half Men” after Sheen attacked his boss, Chuck Lorre, the actor has gone on a manic round of media interviews.

Damn.  Just, damn.

Just an idle thought here:  Five’ll get you ten he started with pot. y’think?

Just sayin’.

_____________________________________________________





While your obdt. svt. (a little Blackie Sherrod lingo, there) was busy with “things I learned while looking up other things” (a little more Blackie Sherrod lingo, there) over the weekend, I came across this recap of Playboy’s  entry in the Super Bowl’s Party Parade™:

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

_____________________________________________________





On this day, 38 years ago, seven men  decided what, exactly, women could do with their bodies.  (That’s for you feminazi bimboids who still bleat about how men shouldn’t have a say in any abortion that occurs anywhere, anytime.)  It was considered – and is still today, in some quarters – an “enlightened” decision that would “liberate” women.

Thirty-eight years later, this carnage in Pennsylvania is what our “enlightenment” has brought us.

An abortion doctor killed hundreds of babies by cutting their spinal cords with scissors after removing them from mothers late in their pregnancies, prosecutors said on Wednesday.

Philadelphia District Attorney Seth Williams charged Dr. Kermitt Gosnell, 69, and nine associates with eight counts of murder, following a year-long investigation by a grand jury, whose report was unveiled on Wednesday.

The defendants are charged with first-degree murder in the cases of seven babies for which there is substantial evidence, Williams said.

Hundreds of other babies are likely to have died in Gosnell’s West Philadelphia clinic, which he operated from 1979 to 2010, Williams said.

No doubt right now there are in this country some feminoid bitches and pussy-whipped (or maybe cock-whipped, who knows?) bastards who still – still – consider this Mengele-wannabe a fucking hero.

As the RCOB™ drapes over my eyes solid red, I have only two things to ask:

First, whaddya wanna bet that the Innocence Project tries to get him off at some point?

And, since Pennsylvania’s bleeding-heart court system will probably be wooed by a slick-talking John Edwards-type defense attorney into either letting him off light, or walking altogether – where’s Scott Roeder when you really need him?

ThatIsAll™.

_____________________________________________________





Denizens, as we start the final Perfect Football Weekend™ of the season, we have ourselves a WITY™ to share with you guys.

Remember about two or three weeks ago, I said this?


Jenn Sterger’s manager, Phil Reese, said Thursday that she would like the league to “implement a program” to prevent unwanted advances — similar to those she’s alleging Favre made. Reese said Sterger wants the league to discipline Favre before his career ends.

They’d best hurry. There’s a greater-than-zero chance Favre doesn’t play against the NY Football Douchebags – and, with his big consecutive-games streak done, and the ViQueens out of the playoff picture, there’d be no reason to play him any further – and the guess from here is that after this season, he’s done.

And true to form, the NFL…is sweeping the whole thing under the rug.

Down to the last few days of the season and maybe Brett Favre’s career, the NFL ended a slow-paced investigation of tawdry allegations against the quarterback with a $50,000 fine and a rebuke for not being candid.

The league punished one of its marquee players for failing to cooperate with investigators who were trying to determine if the 41-year-old quarterback sent inappropriate messages and below-the-belt photos to Jenn Sterger in 2008, when both worked for the New York Jets.

The ruling came days before what could be the final game for the three-time MVP. He’ll start for Minnesota at Detroit on Sunday if he’s recovered from a concussion sustained Dec. 20 against Chicago, and has said this will be his final season, though he’s unretired in the past. He made the declaration even before his NFL record for consecutive starts was snapped at 297 in mid-December.

Oh, yeah, that’s  gonna put the hurt to Mr. Pants-on-the-Ground, YesSirreeBob™.  How’s ol’ Brett gonna ever  endure the pain, the humiliation, the absolute fucking shame  of it all?  And losing that $50 large is just a-gonna put him in the poor house!!!!, Bah Gawd (a little Good Ol’ J.R. lingo, there)!!!!!1!!ONE!!!1!!ELEVENTYMILLIONTEEN!!!1!

Well, guys?  What’d I Tell Ya?™ 

For her part, Sterger is…somewhat torqued about the whole thing:

“Today’s decision is an affront to all females and shows once again that, despite tough talk, the NFL remains the good old boys’ league.”

– Joseph R. Conway, attorney for Jenn Sterger

Well, Jenn, I’d say it’s time to put up or shut up.  That lawsuit should be making its way westward to Minnie-haha Real Soon Now™, if your credibility is to remain anywhere near the size of your gorgeous chest.

Awright, on to the football.  In bowl season, you don’t get many rematches of a regular-season game, but we have one tonight.  Bo Pelini will take his 17th-ranked Nebraska Cornhuskers into battle tonight for the Holiday Bowl in San Diego, where Taylor Martinez (or Cody Green or Zac Lee, take your pick) will match wits against the UWashington Huskies’ Jake Locker.  Locker’s the latest incarnation of Ryan Leaf – meaning only a few folks in Washington think he’s any good, while the rest us are are suitably unimpressed.

Big Red’s favored by 13½.  If the Blackshirts are healthy, it should be considerably more.

Saturday, Bob Stoops takes his ninth-ranked Oklahoma Sooners to the Fiesta Bowl to take on the Connecticut Huskies.  The Sooners won’t have running back Roy Finch, but they’ll have RB DeMarco Murray and QB Landry Jones.  They should be fine.

Vegas has OU favored by 17.  Let’s just say that UConn’s football team isn’t quite  as good as its women’s hoops team.  OU won’t have any trouble here.

The marquee matchup for us will also be Saturday, as the Rose Bowl features two PFW teams – fourth-ranked Bucky takes on Gary Patterson’s third-ranked Texas Christian Horned Frogs.  It’ll be the Badgers’ size versus the Frogs’ speed.

Generally, I hate matchups like this – remember a couple years ago when I posted this? I was worried about Matt Panfil getting pushed around by Phil Loadholt, and I was right (in fact, that could’ve been a WITY™ right there).  I’m just as worried this week that Bucky’s gonna pound on the TCU defensive front until it collapses.

Therefore, TCU had best jump out to a quick, big lead.  Let it remain close into the fourth quarter, and Bucky will win this game.  Don’t let that happen, Gary Patterson.

Sunday, the Dallas Cowgirlz bring a merciful end to the season, as they go to Pussydelphia to play Mikey “Woof Woof Yikes!!!” Vick and the rest of the Beagles.  No way Dallas wins this game – but if there’s any justice (and if Dallas has any balls to speak of), DeShawna Jackoff leaves the game on a cart after trying to showboat one more time.

Then again, what am I talking about?  These are the Cowgirlz – we’ve known they’ve had no balls since Owner Jethro whined about Dez Bryant getting his ankle tweaked in training camp.  Dallas, just go, expose your belly to the Beagles and put us out of our misery for another year.

Final recap and the Benediction™ will be Monday.  Hopefully, we’ll have something to celebrate around these parts.

_____________________________________________________





(Hat tip to Allahpundit.)

Pat Robertson, people, has jumped the shark.

Count this among the 10 things nobody ever expected to see in their lifetimes: 700 Club founder Pat Robertson, one of the cornerstone figures of America’s Christian right movement, has come out in favor of legalizing marijuana.

Calling it getting “smart” on crime

…Robertson became a fool.

Well, at least there’s Scriptural precedent, y’know?

Robertson aired a clip on a recent episode of his 700 Club television show that advocated the viewpoint of drug law reformers who run prison outreach ministries.

Yeah, y’know, Pat – drug runners have a “prison outreach ministry”, too.  Usually, it has something to do with passing along instructions on how to run the cartel.

A narrator even claimed that religious prison outreach has “saved” millions in public funds by helping to reduce the number of prisoners who return shortly after being released.

Yeah, I’ll just bet.  Or maybe it’s just a strong desire to avoid a return “engagement” as Bubba’s bitch, if you will.

“It got to be a big deal in campaigns: ‘He’s tough on crime,’ and ‘lock ‘em up!’” the Christian Coalition founder said. “That’s the way these guys ran and, uh, they got elected. But, that wasn’t the answer.”

Uh, Patricia?  Yes, it was.  “Lock ‘em up”, and keep locking ‘em up until the drug-addled dumbasses get the clue.

Who knows?  Maybe one of ‘em will pick up the one you’ve lost, Pattianne.

I think, over the next few days/weeks, you will see donations to the 700 Club take a plunge off the cliff.  Followed shortly, of course, by Pattianne Robertson’s sudden decision to “retire” to “spend more time with his family”.

Perhaps they can spend it toking. 

_____________________________________________________

« Previous Articles    
_______________
 
 
Glossary -  Disclaimer - Privacy Policy - History - The SpatulaFAQ
This blog is best viewed with your eyes. 
It helps, though, if you have Microsoft Internet Explorer  set about 1024x768 1280x1024 with your Favorites window activated on the left deactivated.  (At least until I can get a better handle on how WordPress works.)

(KORRIOTH:  Oh, great.  More wormholes.)

Mozilla Firefox doesn't do too badly, either; in fact, it's His Rudeness' browser of choice.
You can  use Nutscrape,  if you so desire - but why in blazes would you want to use a browser from a company that had to hide behind Janet El Reño's skirt to be successful?

And don't even  get me started on Opera or Chrome.  I'm not about  to trust any browser that won't let me change its color scheme.
Spatula City BBS! was based on WordPress platform 2.6 (it's 3.05 3.31 now), RSS tech , RSS comments design by Gx3.