Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 22:21
Item: The Donks are in a bit of a tizzy over Bush’s calling them the “Democrat
Memo to Dubya: Whyn’t you just follow my lead and refer to them by their proper name: Demoscum.
UPDATE: Thanks to LC RobertHuntingdon for the correction.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 8:54
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 20:26
Denizens, your assignment for this evening is to read the following letter to the troops from Mr. Ben Stein, courtesy of LC MoMinuteMan.
It’s below the fold for your convenience.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 20:38
(Hat tip to the SpatulaGoddess – long may she exude massive quantities of hawtness. )
Item: Ted Nugent wore a Confederate shirt to the Big Dickhead Perry inaugural the other day. (And no, this is not to bash Ted Nugent – as long as Big Dickhead serves in any sort of public orifice, I’m going to call him that.)
Anyway, the NAA(L)CP is, typically, kvetching about it.
Gary Bledsoe, president of the Texas chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, has criticized Nugent’s decision to wear the shirt, saying it symbolized “the enslavement of African-Americans and more recently the symbol of hate groups and terrorists.”
Gary, son, perhaps we could revisit the Confederate flag issue if you people would consider giving up the “X” hats.
Or the hubcap necklaces.
Or the pants worn so as to expose six inches of the Underoos.
Or the gimme caps worn at every odd-assed angle.
Or the FUBU gear.
Or the oversized jackets worn in 90-degree heat.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 6:27
No, I didn’t watch the State of the
DisUnion show last night. Why anyone would want to watch a de-balled, spineless, limp-dicked excuse-for-a-President bow and scrape in abject supplication before the traitorous bunch of shit-for-brains asswipes known as the Imperial Socialist Congress (not to mention kissing the collective ass of Vinnie Fox, Calderon and the rest of the pendejo invasion) is beyond me.
And I think that’s all you need to know about the Donktards.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 12:02
This just in from Valley Ranch:
“I am retiring from coaching football,” [Bill] Parcells said in a statement. “I want to thank Jerry Jones and Stephen Jones for their tremendous support over the last four years. Also, the players, my coaching staff and others in the support group who have done so much to help. Dallas is a great city and the Cowboys are an integral part of it. I am hopeful that they are able to go forward from here.”
All together now…
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 4:36
I s’pose I have to get this done sometime, don’t I?
TCU 37, Northern Illinois 7
Oklahoma 42, Mr. PotatoHead SmurfTurf Bullshit State 29, Desperate Trick Plays That Proved They Couldn’t Play OU Straight Up 14
LSU 41, Notre Dame 14
Dallas 7, Phuckadelpha Beagles 23
Dallas 31, Detroit (Detroit?!?!?!) 39
Dallas 20, Seattle Seahags 21
Garrett Wolfe was the nation’s leading college rusher this year, so TCU looked to have its hands full at the Poinsettia Bowl.
Then again, a University of North Texas back led the nation in rushing a couple years ago, and that didn’t mean much in their bowl game, either. TCU jumped Wolfe early and often, managing to make first contact with him behind the line of scrimmage on nearly every one of his carries.
This game was close for…oh…about 15 minutes and 11 seconds – about the time TCU needed to get their second touchdown. Ballard was 19 of 29 for 258, and fellow outgoing senior Lonta Hobbs gained 109 on 18 carries and actually made it through an entire bowl game without fumbling for once.
TCU’s performance this past year (a second straight 11-win season) was enough to merit some interest from the University of Minnesota before they settled on Tim Brewster from the Denver Broncos. It’ll be interesting to see how ’07 shapes up for the Froggies, but here’s a hint for Patterson: If you go 1-10 next year, sir – that one win had damned well best be against the SMU
T Shitland Ponies.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 22:04
All y’all who had Fidelito the Ball-less in your dead pool – get the…well, whatever the Hispanic equivalent of ululating is…ready.
Fidel Castro has had at least three failed operations and complications from an intestinal infection, and the Cuban leader faces “a very grave prognosis,” a Spanish newspaper reported Tuesday. A Cuban diplomat in Madrid said the reports were lies and declined to comment.
Time for Cuban propaganda protocol, Denizens. When they say the sky is blue…go outside to double check.
In a report published on its Web site, El Pais said: “A grave infection in the large intestine, at least three failed operations and various complications have left the Cuban dictator, Fidel Castro, laid up with a very grave prognosis.”
Uh-huh. That’s socialist medicine for you.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 12:54
(Originally posted at the Rott.)
[SCENE: Rott headquarters. The place is empty and the lights are out, the Brood having gone out en masse to cele…well, just keep reading, mkay?
An enormous shimmer of light appears in the living room. As it fades, we see several large masses materialize. (Well, several average-sized masses and one Jabba-sized lump. Gimme a break, I’m working on it, okay???) ]
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 22:27
[SCENE: Aboard the bridge of the Pegasus. She has arrived in Spacedock in response to an urgent hail from the Dockmaster.]
T-BONE MCMANX: I have the dockmaster for you now, m’Lord.
LSIK&T: (nods) Thank you, McManx. (to speaker) Dockmaster, this is Pegasus. I hope you have a good reason for dragging us back here.
DOCKMASTER: Quite the reason, indeed, my love. We were notified of a severe design flaw in Pegasus’ computer core and have a tech crew dispatched and ready to effect repairs.
KORRIOTH: You see??? I told you it couldn’t have been my targeting!!!
LSIK&T: Great, just great. Now I’m really gonna be in trouble with the insurance adjusters!
KORRIOTH: Why? It’s not like the Breen needed that moon!
LSIK&T: Hush, you…(chuckle)
Denizens, Hosting Matters has advised me of an imminent drive failure where the Realm files are kept. Ergo, they’ve started moving stuff here to another server.
Should be seamless. If you have any problems, lemme know.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 20:23
Denizens tonight’s a busy night, so here’s something courtesy of the Sibling Unit:
Subject: Hillary’s first night as President 2009
HILLARY’S FIRST NIGHT AS PRESIDENT IN JANUARY 2009
Hillary Clinton gets elected President and is spending her first night in the White House.
She has waited so long……….
The ghost of George Washington appears, and Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?” Washington says, “Never tell a lie.” “Ouch!” Says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears…Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?” Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.” “Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears…Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 19:48
Denizens, your faithful scribe is feeling a little burnt out – and, unlike some folks who disappear from sight and don’t tell you where they’re gonna be (SpatulaGoddess, call your office), I feel obligated enough not to want to drop off the face of the earth.
I’m contemplating the PFW benediction, and at some point I’ll throw together at least a semi-comprehensive Year In Review for you guys.
I’m also contemplating a quasi-drastic pullback from everyday blogging. No fooling this time – the medical issues you and I have discussed from time to time are beating me over the head, and crunch time is rapidly approaching. Certain things are going to have to be sacrificed, and one of those things may very well be this nearly-a-post-a-day schedule.
(Which is not to say I’m going away altogether – just that everyday posting will likely turn into every-other-day posting. Or somesuch.)
Keep your eyes peeled and your RSS reader (snort!) tuned to this very blog.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 11:36
Most of you have probably heard in the news about the cheerleader incidents at McKinney North “hah skrewl” (a little Rush lingo, there). You’ve heard about how it caused the cheerleader sponsor to resign, citing a lack of support from school administration when it came to discipline – primarily because the ringleader of these miscreant girls was none other than the principal’s daughter herself. And you’ve heard about how it subsequently cost that principal her job, albeit with a $70,000 payout and a letter of recommendation.
Nice severance, if you can get it.
Anyway, the girls are now telling their side of the story:
“It was a stupid mistake,” Elizabeth Griffin, 18, one of the cheerleaders, told The Dallas Morning News on Saturday. “We will never live it down, but we never thought about that at the time.”
But in reading further down in that article, I find one paragraph to be extrememly disturbing:
Ms. Theret [The principal in question. -ED.], who resigned under an agreement before Christmas, canceled a scheduled interview Saturday. Bob Hinton, her attorney, said she wasn’t ready to talk. But he asserted that Karrissa and the other girls’ behavior wasn’t unusual.
Let’s review what it was that brought this to the fore:
The five McKinney North High School cheerleaders, each in uniform and holding phallus-shaped candles, thought it would be funny to pose for the picture inside a condom store – a harmless joke for their friends to see on MySpace.
Maybe that’s the problem.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 2:58
Memo to the Donktards: When we tar and feather Limpdickya, and you pricks go “Yeah, yeah, we told you so!!!!” – well, I’m sure that the one-third brain cell that all you leftist morons collectively share thinks that you’ve gotten one over on us.
That’s to be expected from liberal fuckwits who couldn’t graduate Romper Room if all the test answers were placed on the seats of their shortbus.
But when you spew your bullshit about him, it’s because you hate him. No rhyme or reason for it, just an irrational hate (again, irrationality being something we’ve come to expect from libtards). When we rip His Gonadlessness a new one, it’s precisely because…well, because he’s governing like one of you.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 22:08
[SCENE: Aboard the USS RemoteAccess, the Kor-class scout ship, registry 1:130/103, that His Rudeness flew prior to winning the Pegasus from the Klingons in a game of fizzbin. RemoteAccess has been decomissioned for over 10 years now, but has been floating quietly in a little corner of spacedock.
Outside Cargo Hold 2. CH2 on the RemoteAccess is for old shit that even His Rudeness wouldn’t dare keep in the Grab-Bag.
The doors are partially open. Every so often, a massive cloud of dust flies out of the hold, causing Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant to lapse into a coughing fit.]