Local time where you're at. ("Where you're at"?)

(The following is a column which appeared on my old web site, www.spatulacitybbs.com, on September 11th, 2001.&#160 It is re-posted now in remembrance of then.

This will very likely be the last time this ever gets posted, as I do intend to close Spatula City sometime next year.)

NOTE: This column contains some coarse language. Back out now if such language offends you, please.

I got four hours of sleep last night. I’m fighting the obligatory yearly case of tonsillitis. My throat hurts like Hell ™, my body is racked with soreness, and – not to put too fine a point thereupon – I’m in need of a tube of Prep H.

You get the idea. (sigh)

So here I am on LBJ Freeway in Dallas, plodding my way through traffic, fighting hard the urge to fall asleep at the wheel, literally. I’m listening to our sports-talk/guy-talk station on AM, the Ticket (KTCK 1310), when the sports jocks there suddenly exclaim something to the effect of, “WTF…?!”. Apparently, a heavy jet has veered off course and slammed into one of the World Trade Center twin towers in New York City.

“Wow,” I’m thinking, “they’ll likely stay with this one all day”, and I immediately turn over to the news/talk station here, WBAP 820, for all the coverage. Yes, I admit it – I’m fascinated by carnage.

At that point, though, I’m thinking tragic accident. Somebody’s plane lost its hydraulics and careened out of control, and the World Trade Center, unfortunately, was simply in the way.

That was 7:50. At 8:09, my worldview – and that of 280 million Americans, I would bet – changed radically.

At that point, a second jet slammed headfirst into the other tower. At that point, it’s not just a major tragedy. This looks just a weeeee bit too organized to be a coincidence.

It’s 8:20 when I get to the office, and I meet my buddy and old Wingtip Courier dispatcher as he’s driving up. He hasn’t been paying attention to anything. We get inside the office, and I bring him and our other compadre up to speed on things (he wasn’t listening to the radio, either, which was surprising). I go into my office and try pulling up a video stream for any of this. It’s 8:25.

Fifteen minutes later, the message is clear: America is under attack for the first time in 60 years. Yet another heavy jet has crashed – this one into the Pentagon. Reports are coming in about multiple hijackings. I’ve read a report about a worldwide alert issued last Friday concerning our resident international terrorist, Osama bin Laden, Two & two are quickly starting to come together.

(Side note: Don’t let them tell you they had no warning. I’m not kidding about that worldwide alert concerning bin Laden. They knew. Damned right they knew.)

(SECOND SIDE NOTE:&#160 As I go through the years, I’m less inclined to blame the Bush Administration than I was nine years ago.&#160 Sure, they knew it was possible, but all they had was a general warning.&#160 Nothing specific that said they were going to do what they did precisely on that day.&#160 So the Bush Administration gets a pass from me on this one.

The Demoscum, on the other hand…)

I can’t pull up anything on the ‘Net – and I have a T1 at work. The radio offers some details, but I want to know more. I run across the street to the CompUSSR to scope out the TV images.

And ohmigod – what TV images. I saw the second plane come in behind the first tower, and a plume of fire and deep black smoke explode out the other side. I saw the collapsed side of the Pentagon. I saw both WTC towers collapse – I had to ask someone if they’d collapsed all the way, so incredulous was the scene there. (A third building nearby would collapse six hours later.) I heard reports of yet another plane crash – this one near Pittsburgh. Rumor has it that the plane was headed to Camp David – we’re somewhere around the anniversary of the Camp David accords, so I hear.

Returned to work around 11:00 in a state of near-shock. Twenty minutes later, I received the go-ahead to go home. After a quick stop-off at the school to check on my wife, I arrived home and turned on the TV to Fox.

The images there were even more unbelievable than before. Fox had the direct angle on the second tower hit. They also had better angles on the collapse of both towers – although by that time, there was so much smoke & dust that one could hardly make anything out.

After a quick lunch, I sit down here to gather news stories, and I find this.

That’s right, sports fans. Here are a group of Palestinian squids laughing, dancing and cheering the attack on us, whom they call “the Great Satan”.

Compassionate people, those Palestinians.

Okay, now that I’ve bored you with my day, here’s my analysis: CNN early on was doing everything it could to avoid calling it a terrorist attack. But, Spatulaites & Spatulaettes, it’s too coordinated, too organized to be anything but. These events had to be planned months in advance. Certain people had to be installed at just the right junctures in order to pull this off – our airport security procedures, despite the fact that they’re handled by part-timers making minimum wage, are still way too strict. People who knew how to fly those planes had to arrange for passage on these planes. This would have been a major undertaking for simply one airliner – for four to have been hijacked in this manner and turned into suicide machines screams for the fact that this is more than just a Chinese fire drill.

So. Who’s got the capability to pull it off? Who has the money to train these thugs, place them right where they needed to be placed, and then turned loose? And who among them hates us enough to target us? Not to mention, who’s stupid-assed enough to try it?

If you haven’t figured it out by now, go back to school and take a comprehensive reading course. You think about it, there’s really only one man who qualifies: Osama bin Laden.

There can be no question. The mastermind behind the 1993 bombing at the aforementioned World Trade Center is so consumed with hatred for the United States that it sticks in his craw that he failed to bring us down eight years ago. So he decided to try and finish the job, gambling that we’ll be too chicken-shit to do anything about it.

(Second side note: Yeah, the Palestinians and the Taliban in Afghanistan are denying responsibility. Don’t believe the bastards. This is their baby.)

This is where George W. Bush needs to prove him wrong. Take this one to the bank, my friends: The Bush presidency – whether he believes it or not, whether he likes it or not – rides on how he handles this.

America is screaming for justice. More to the point, America is screaming for revenge. This is nothing short of an act of war. Yes, war. There’s been a formally undeclared one on us now, by most of the non-Israeli countries of the Middle East, for several years now. The Muslims hate our guts. The Syrians, the Iraqis, the Iranians – we’re their enemy. “Death To America” has been cruising at #1 on the Middle Eastern Top 40 for several years. They’re getting bolder, too – because they think we’re too cowardly to fight back. They think we’ve forgotten how to fight.

If George Bush has any balls, now’s the time to prove them wrong.

This is your solution, like it or not: Any country harboring terrorists – that would include Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Libya, Syria, et. al. – must be wiped from the face of the earth.

Scramble 30 bombers. Five warheads each – six if the plane will hold it. Bomb the shit out of these countries – get rid of these raghead bastards.

So what if you take innocents out, too? This is war, people. They don’t care about killing our innocents; why should we give a shit about theirs??

And that goes for the Palestinians, too. Let’s do Israel a favor and eliminate those sons-of-bitches from the annals of history, as well. They want to laugh and make merry at our misfortune, they need to pay the ultimate price.

Show the world some balls, George W. Teach them that there’s a price for fucking with America. Demonstrate to them that we have not forgotten how to fight!

(The following is a column which appeared on my old web site, www.spatulacitybbs.com, on September 11th, 2001.&#160 It is re-posted now in remembrance of then.)

NOTE: This column contains some coarse language. Back out now if such language offends you, please.

I got four hours of sleep last night. I’m fighting the obligatory yearly case of tonsillitis. My throat hurts like Hell ™, my body is racked with soreness, and – not to put too fine a point thereupon – I’m in need of a tube of Prep H.

You get the idea. (sigh)

So here I am on LBJ Freeway in Dallas, plodding my way through traffic, fighting hard the urge to fall asleep at the wheel, literally. I’m listening to our sports-talk/guy-talk station on AM, the Ticket (KTCK 1310), when the sports jocks there suddenly exclaim something to the effect of, “WTF…?!”. Apparently, a heavy jet has veered off course and slammed into one of the World Trade Center twin towers in New York City.

“Wow,” I’m thinking, “they’ll likely stay with this one all day”, and I immediately turn over to the news/talk station here, WBAP 820, for all the coverage. Yes, I admit it – I’m fascinated by carnage.

At that point, though, I’m thinking tragic accident. Somebody’s plane lost its hydraulics and careened out of control, and the World Trade Center, unfortunately, was simply in the way.

That was 7:50. At 8:09, my worldview – and that of 280 million Americans, I would bet – changed radically.

At that point, a second jet slammed headfirst into the other tower. At that point, it’s not just a major tragedy. This looks just a weeeee bit too organized to be a coincidence.

It’s 8:20 when I get to the office, and I meet my buddy and old Wingtip Courier dispatcher as he’s driving up. He hasn’t been paying attention to anything. We get inside the office, and I bring him and our other compadre up to speed on things (he wasn’t listening to the radio, either, which was surprising). I go into my office and try pulling up a video stream for any of this. It’s 8:25.

Fifteen minutes later, the message is clear: America is under attack for the first time in 60 years. Yet another heavy jet has crashed – this one into the Pentagon. Reports are coming in about multiple hijackings. I’ve read a report about a worldwide alert issued last Friday concerning our resident international terrorist, Osama bin Laden, Two & two are quickly starting to come together.

(Side note: Don’t let them tell you they had no warning. I’m not kidding about that worldwide alert concerning bin Laden. They knew. Damned right they knew.)

(SECOND SIDE NOTE:&#160 As I go through the years, I’m less inclined to blame the Bush Administration than I was nine years ago.&#160 Sure, they knew it was possible, but all they had was a general warning.&#160 Nothing specific that said they were going to do what they did precisely on that day.&#160 So the Bush Administration gets a pass from me on this one.

The Demoscum, on the other hand…)

I can’t pull up anything on the ‘Net – and I have a T1 at work. The radio offers some details, but I want to know more. I run across the street to the CompUSSR to scope out the TV images.

And ohmigod – what TV images. I saw the second plane come in behind the first tower, and a plume of fire and deep black smoke explode out the other side. I saw the collapsed side of the Pentagon. I saw both WTC towers collapse – I had to ask someone if they’d collapsed all the way, so incredulous was the scene there. (A third building nearby would collapse six hours later.) I heard reports of yet another plane crash – this one near Pittsburgh. Rumor has it that the plane was headed to Camp David – we’re somewhere around the anniversary of the Camp David accords, so I hear.

Returned to work around 11:00 in a state of near-shock. Twenty minutes later, I received the go-ahead to go home. After a quick stop-off at the school to check on my wife, I arrived home and turned on the TV to Fox.

The images there were even more unbelievable than before. Fox had the direct angle on the second tower hit. They also had better angles on the collapse of both towers – although by that time, there was so much smoke & dust that one could hardly make anything out.

After a quick lunch, I sit down here to gather news stories, and I find this.

That’s right, sports fans. Here are a group of Palestinian squids laughing, dancing and cheering the attack on us, whom they call “the Great Satan”.

Compassionate people, those Palestinians.

Okay, now that I’ve bored you with my day, here’s my analysis: CNN early on was doing everything it could to avoid calling it a terrorist attack. But, Spatulaites & Spatulaettes, it’s too coordinated, too organized to be anything but. These events had to be planned months in advance. Certain people had to be installed at just the right junctures in order to pull this off – our airport security procedures, despite the fact that they’re handled by part-timers making minimum wage, are still way too strict. People who knew how to fly those planes had to arrange for passage on these planes. This would have been a major undertaking for simply one airliner – for four to have been hijacked in this manner and turned into suicide machines screams for the fact that this is more than just a Chinese fire drill.

So. Who’s got the capability to pull it off? Who has the money to train these thugs, place them right where they needed to be placed, and then turned loose? And who among them hates us enough to target us? Not to mention, who’s stupid-assed enough to try it?

If you haven’t figured it out by now, go back to school and take a comprehensive reading course. You think about it, there’s really only one man who qualifies: Osama bin Laden.

There can be no question. The mastermind behind the 1993 bombing at the aforementioned World Trade Center is so consumed with hatred for the United States that it sticks in his craw that he failed to bring us down eight years ago. So he decided to try and finish the job, gambling that we’ll be too chicken-shit to do anything about it.

(Second side note: Yeah, the Palestinians and the Taliban in Afghanistan are denying responsibility. Don’t believe the bastards. This is their baby.)

This is where George W. Bush needs to prove him wrong. Take this one to the bank, my friends: The Bush presidency – whether he believes it or not, whether he likes it or not – rides on how he handles this.

America is screaming for justice. More to the point, America is screaming for revenge. This is nothing short of an act of war. Yes, war. There’s been a formally undeclared one on us now, by most of the non-Israeli countries of the Middle East, for several years now. The Muslims hate our guts. The Syrians, the Iraqis, the Iranians – we’re their enemy. “Death To America” has been cruising at #1 on the Middle Eastern Top 40 for several years. They’re getting bolder, too – because they think we’re too cowardly to fight back. They think we’ve forgotten how to fight.

If George Bush has any balls, now’s the time to prove them wrong.

This is your solution, like it or not: Any country harboring terrorists – that would include Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Libya, Syria, et. al. – must be wiped from the face of the earth.

Scramble 30 bombers. Five warheads each – six if the plane will hold it. Bomb the shit out of these countries – get rid of these raghead bastards.

So what if you take innocents out, too? This is war, people. They don’t care about killing our innocents; why should we give a shit about theirs??

And that goes for the Palestinians, too. Let’s do Israel a favor and eliminate those sons-of-bitches from the annals of history, as well. They want to laugh and make merry at our misfortune, they need to pay the ultimate price.

Show the world some balls, George W. Teach them that there’s a price for fucking with America. Demonstrate to them that we have not forgotten how to fight!

Fuck the law.

Fuck Roe v. Wade.

Fuck 7-2

In fact, fuck those seven bastards who voted for abortion baby-butchering on demand.

Fuck NARAL.&#160 (Fuck NOW, for that matter.)

Fuck every last feminist who defends this barbaric practice.&#160 From Betty Friedan & Kate Michelman all the fucking way down to Gloria Steinem & Andrea Marcotte.

To Hell – literally – with every fucking last one of them.

This son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch is deserving of the most painful, agonizing death imaginable.

Period.&#160 End.&#160 Stop.

And don’t get me started on the @#$%(!!! media – you know, the one that won’t cover any of it?

Infant beheadings. Severed baby feet in jars. A child screaming after it was delivered alive during an abortion procedure. Haven’t heard about these sickening accusations?

It’s not your fault. Since the murder trial of Pennsylvania abortion doctor Kermit Gosnell began March 18, there has been precious little coverage of the case that should be on every news show and front page.

But it isn’t.&#160 And we know why, don’t we?

Fuck ’em.&#160 Fuck ’em all.&#160 With a rusty, steel-wire-wrapped, razor-embedded baseball bat.&#160 For starters.

God’s judgement can’t come soon enough on this country, if you ask me.&#160

‘Will there be resistance? Absolutely there will be resistance,’ he [Bambi] said.

You have no idea, you syphilitic son-of-a-Kenyan-crack-whore-bitch.

You.&#160 Have.&#160 No.&#160 Fucking.&#160 Idea.

Memo to Lie-anne Fein-swine:

You are not&#160 getting my guns.

None&#160 of them.

Ever.

Cap&#237ce?

Don’t even think&#160 about it.

(The following is a column which appeared on my old web site, www.spatulacitybbs.com, on September 11th, 2001.&#160 It is re-posted now in remembrance of then.)

NOTE: This column contains some coarse language. Back out now if such language offends you, please.

I got four hours of sleep last night. I’m fighting the obligatory yearly case of tonsillitis. My throat hurts like Hell ™, my body is racked with soreness, and – not to put too fine a point thereupon – I’m in need of a tube of Prep H.

You get the idea. (sigh)

So here I am on LBJ Freeway in Dallas, plodding my way through traffic, fighting hard the urge to fall asleep at the wheel, literally. I’m listening to our sports-talk/guy-talk station on AM, the Ticket (KTCK 1310), when the sports jocks there suddenly exclaim something to the effect of, “WTF…?!”. Apparently, a heavy jet has veered off course and slammed into one of the World Trade Center twin towers in New York City.

“Wow,” I’m thinking, “they’ll likely stay with this one all day”, and I immediately turn over to the news/talk station here, WBAP 820, for all the coverage. Yes, I admit it – I’m fascinated by carnage.

At that point, though, I’m thinking tragic accident. Somebody’s plane lost its hydraulics and careened out of control, and the World Trade Center, unfortunately, was simply in the way.

That was 7:50. At 8:09, my worldview – and that of 280 million Americans, I would bet – changed radically.

At that point, a second jet slammed headfirst into the other tower. At that point, it’s not just a major tragedy. This looks just a weeeee bit too organized to be a coincidence.

It’s 8:20 when I get to the office, and I meet my buddy and old Wingtip Courier dispatcher as he’s driving up. He hasn’t been paying attention to anything. We get inside the office, and I bring him and our other compadre up to speed on things (he wasn’t listening to the radio, either, which was surprising). I go into my office and try pulling up a video stream for any of this. It’s 8:25.

Fifteen minutes later, the message is clear: America is under attack for the first time in 60 years. Yet another heavy jet has crashed – this one into the Pentagon. Reports are coming in about multiple hijackings. I’ve read a report about a worldwide alert issued last Friday concerning our resident international terrorist, Osama bin Laden, Two & two are quickly starting to come together.

(Side note: Don’t let them tell you they had no warning. I’m not kidding about that worldwide alert concerning bin Laden. They knew. Damned right they knew.)

(SECOND SIDE NOTE:&#160 As I go through the years, I’m less inclined to blame the Bush Administration than I was nine years ago.&#160 Sure, they knew it was possible, but all they had was a general warning.&#160 Nothing specific that said they were going to do what they did precisely on that day.&#160 So the Bush Administration gets a pass from me on this one.

The Demoscum, on the other hand…)

I can’t pull up anything on the ‘Net – and I have a T1 at work. The radio offers some details, but I want to know more. I run across the street to the CompUSSR to scope out the TV images.

And ohmigod – what TV images. I saw the second plane come in behind the first tower, and a plume of fire and deep black smoke explode out the other side. I saw the collapsed side of the Pentagon. I saw both WTC towers collapse – I had to ask someone if they’d collapsed all the way, so incredulous was the scene there. (A third building nearby would collapse six hours later.) I heard reports of yet another plane crash – this one near Pittsburgh. Rumor has it that the plane was headed to Camp David – we’re somewhere around the anniversary of the Camp David accords, so I hear.

Returned to work around 11:00 in a state of near-shock. Twenty minutes later, I received the go-ahead to go home. After a quick stop-off at the school to check on my wife, I arrived home and turned on the TV to Fox.

The images there were even more unbelievable than before. Fox had the direct angle on the second tower hit. They also had better angles on the collapse of both towers – although by that time, there was so much smoke & dust that one could hardly make anything out.

After a quick lunch, I sit down here to gather news stories, and I find this.

That’s right, sports fans. Here are a group of Palestinian squids laughing, dancing and cheering the attack on us, whom they call “the Great Satan”.

Compassionate people, those Palestinians.

Okay, now that I’ve bored you with my day, here’s my analysis: CNN early on was doing everything it could to avoid calling it a terrorist attack. But, Spatulaites & Spatulaettes, it’s too coordinated, too organized to be anything but. These events had to be planned months in advance. Certain people had to be installed at just the right junctures in order to pull this off – our airport security procedures, despite the fact that they’re handled by part-timers making minimum wage, are still way too strict. People who knew how to fly those planes had to arrange for passage on these planes. This would have been a major undertaking for simply one airliner – for four to have been hijacked in this manner and turned into suicide machines screams for the fact that this is more than just a Chinese fire drill.

So. Who’s got the capability to pull it off? Who has the money to train these thugs, place them right where they needed to be placed, and then turned loose? And who among them hates us enough to target us? Not to mention, who’s stupid-assed enough to try it?

If you haven’t figured it out by now, go back to school and take a comprehensive reading course. You think about it, there’s really only one man who qualifies: Osama bin Laden.

There can be no question. The mastermind behind the 1993 bombing at the aforementioned World Trade Center is so consumed with hatred for the United States that it sticks in his craw that he failed to bring us down eight years ago. So he decided to try and finish the job, gambling that we’ll be too chicken-shit to do anything about it.

(Second side note: Yeah, the Palestinians and the Taliban in Afghanistan are denying responsibility. Don’t believe the bastards. This is their baby.)

This is where George W. Bush needs to prove him wrong. Take this one to the bank, my friends: The Bush presidency – whether he believes it or not, whether he likes it or not – rides on how he handles this.

America is screaming for justice. More to the point, America is screaming for revenge. This is nothing short of an act of war. Yes, war. There’s been a formally undeclared one on us now, by most of the non-Israeli countries of the Middle East, for several years now. The Muslims hate our guts. The Syrians, the Iraqis, the Iranians – we’re their enemy. “Death To America” has been cruising at #1 on the Middle Eastern Top 40 for several years. They’re getting bolder, too – because they think we’re too cowardly to fight back. They think we’ve forgotten how to fight.

If George Bush has any balls, now’s the time to prove them wrong.

This is your solution, like it or not: Any country harboring terrorists – that would include Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Libya, Syria, et. al. – must be wiped from the face of the earth.

Scramble 30 bombers. Five warheads each – six if the plane will hold it. Bomb the shit out of these countries – get rid of these raghead bastards.

So what if you take innocents out, too? This is war, people. They don’t care about killing our innocents; why should we give a shit about theirs??

And that goes for the Palestinians, too. Let’s do Israel a favor and eliminate those sons-of-bitches from the annals of history, as well. They want to laugh and make merry at our misfortune, they need to pay the ultimate price.

Show the world some balls, George W. Teach them that there’s a price for fucking with America. Demonstrate to them that we have not forgotten how to fight!

I.&#160 DON’T.&#160 MOTHER.&#160 FUCKING.&#160 THINK!!!&#160 SO!!!!

One step closer, Demoscum.

One.&#160 Fucking.&#160 Step.&#160 Closer.

(Hat tip:&#160 Hoft, as usual.)

And at the other extreme (i.e. the heterophobic pro-sodomite militant leftards) comes this video.

I’m putting it below the fold to give you time to put down all throwables/breakables/shootables, etc.&#160 I guaran-damn-tee you that you’ll have your own personal RCOB&#153 going within fifteen seconds, and by the end will be wanting to print out a picture of this bastard to take to the range with you.

So here we go.&#160 Don’t say I didn’t warn you:

Now, this vid was originally taken down after the asslick got caught in the resulting shitstorm; what you’re watching here is a re-upload. The pussy who actually committed this heinous act of sheer chickenshittery has his YouTube page here.&#160 Do note the overwhelming&#160 display of support he’s receiving.&#160 &#160 (The guy is supposedly some sort of instructor/lecturer, which is the reason this has been added to “Asshattery in Academia”.)

Lord, please don’t ever send me to Arizona.&#160 I don’t think I could get out of there without being arrested for shoving a cattle prod up this prick’s ass and locking it on “high”…

UPDATE(s):&#160 Well, first & foremost, the pusstard appears to have gotten shitcanned for his shit.

Adam Smith, former CFO and treasurer of medical supplies manufacturer Vante, caused quite a stir today when he put up a video of himself bullying a Chick-fil-A drive-thru employee in Tucson on YouTube.

Smith berates the worker about her company in the video, which was initially titled ”Reduce $’s to Chick-Fil-A’s Hate Groups.” It has since been taken down (though others have uploaded it too).

[…]

Vante didn’t approve of Smith’s behavior, and he’s no longer working there.

Here’s the press release from Vante announcing that Smith is “no longer an employee of our company,” effective immediately:

TUCSON, AZ–(Marketwire – Aug 2, 2012) – The following is a statement from Vante:

Vante regrets the unfortunate events that transpired yesterday in Tucson between our former CFO/Treasurer Adam Smith and an employee at Chick-fil-A. Effective immediately, Mr. Smith is no longer an employee of our company.

The actions of Mr. Smith do not reflect our corporate values in any manner. Vante is an equal opportunity company with a diverse workforce, which holds diverse opinions. We respect the right of our employees and all Americans to hold and express their personal opinions, however, we also expect our company officers to behave in a manner commensurate with their position and in a respectful fashion that conveys these values of civility with others.

We hope that the general population does not hold Mr. Smith’s actions against Vante and its employees.

Oh, and the other update?&#160 If you go to that site of his I linked, you’ll see that he’s put up a cycling video…and taken down all the support.

Aw.&#160 Shucky darn.&#160

And as if that weren’t enough (as the General succinctly noted here), the National Concubine of Asshats & Arsekissers decided to collect their own pound of flesh:

The NCAA decision to void all Penn State victories back to 1998 eliminated 111 Penn State victories, dropping iconic coach Joe Paterno from the all-time winningest football coach to 12th on the list.

With the wins voided, Paterno’s official career win total is 298. Bobby Bowden with 377 wins becomes the all-time winningnest Division I.

Bullshit.&#160 Pure, unadulterated, 100-percent non-biodegradeable bullshit.&#160 The NCAA does not have the authority to do that to either Paterno or&#160 Penn State.&#160 JoePa & the Nittany Lions won those games fair & square, and there’s fuck all&#160 the NCAA can do about it.

Suck it, NCAA!&#160 Joe Paterno has just as many wins as he did this time seven days ago.&#160 Kiss Penn State’s collective ass if you don’t like that.

The NCAA has slammed Penn State with an unprecedented series of penalties, including a $60 million fine and the loss of all coach Joe Paterno’s victories from 1998-2011, in the wake of the Jerry Sandusky child sex abuse scandal.

Other sanctions include a four-year ban on bowl games, and the loss of 20 scholarships per year over four years.

Not that I give a shit about what happens to the school itself, seeing as it pissed on the Paterno family’s back and tried to tell ’em it was raining.

But if I were them, I’d be on the horn to my attorneys RightFuckingNow&#153.&#160 The National Cowards & Assholes Association may fancy itself as some sort of college athletics Gestapo, but that doesn’t mean their bullshit has the force of law.

Do it, Penn State.&#160 Bloody their noses a bit and see if they don’t back off.

I dare you.

This morning, Pennsylvania State University beclowned itself with an act of sacrilege.

The Joe Paterno statue was removed Sunday morning from its pedestal outside Beaver Stadium, and it will be stored in an unnamed “secure location,” Penn State president Rodney Erickson announced. Erickson also said the Paterno name will remain on the university’s library.

Well, how absolutely fuckin’ white&#160 of Widdle Wodney.&#160

The decision came 10 days after a scathing report by former FBI director Louis J. Freeh found that Paterno, with three other top Penn State administrators, had concealed allegations of child sexual abuse made against former defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The Freeh report concluded their motive was to shield the university and its football program from negative publicity.

Lemme tell you something about Louise Freeh.&#160 This dickhead was the FBI director for one Bill “Kaiser Wilhelm von Slickmeister” Clinton.

You guys do&#160 remember Der Kaiser, don’t you?&#160 You know – the half-assed excuse-for-a-President who had a full-blown affair with one Monica Lewinsky (complete with a cigar up her pussy & everything) – then lied about it to the American people?!?!?!?!?!&#160 That&#160 Kaiser Wilhelm?

Louise Freeh was part of one of the lyingest half-assed regimes in American history.&#160 He himself is a lying sack of shit.&#160 If Louise Freeh were to tell me that 2+2=4, I’d damned sure have a calculator & a couple of computers handy.

Joe Paterno was never charged with a crime.&#160 He never had a fair trial.&#160 His attorneys were never – and still&#160 aren’t – allowed to cross-examine witnesses, whom themselves are shielded by their own&#160 attorneys.&#160 Yet we’re expected, nay obligated, to take Louise Freeh’s word as fucking gospel?!

Fuck.&#160 That.

Joe Paterno, like every other American citizen, is innocent until proven guilty.&#160 He, just like all the rest of us, is entitled to the benefit of the doubt.&#160 Nothing less.

Yet Widdle Wodney Ewickson, being the spineless little dickweasel he is, will take the word of the FBI director of a known & proven liar, and further sully the reputation of the man that defined what previously had been the model college football program for nearly the last half century – and&#160 does it after the man has died, thus leaving him unable to defend himself.

Typical leftard scumbaggery.

Fuck you, Rodney Erickson.

Fuck you, Penn State.

Fuck you, Louise Freeh, you cowardly little needle-dicked son-of-a-bitch.

FUCK ‘EM ALL, THE END!&#160

It wasn’t bad enough, Denizens, that the backstabbing bitch Juanita Roberts, cast the tiebreaking vote to uphold a clearly unconstitutional Bambicare, calling it instead a tax, which in itself is also unconstitutional, having originated in the Imperial Socialist Senate.&#160 It’s not bad enough that this Queefing Queer-assed Quisling&#153 slammed in one of the last nails of this country’s coffin, all but assuring its economic destruction henceforth.

No, what really brings down the Red Curtain o’ Blood&#153…is that this bastard was ag’in it before he was for it:

The Obamacare Supreme Court ruling seemed strange. Chief Justice John Roberts’ reasoning was incoherent. The conservative’s dissent read like it was originally meant to be a majority opinion. Now, we know why. According to Jan Crawford of CBS News, John Roberts switched sides in May, withstanding a “one-month campaign” from his conservative colleagues to change his mind.

“I am told by two sources with specific knowledge of the court’s deliberations that Roberts initially sided with the conservatives in this case and was prepared to strike down…the individual mandate,” said Crawford on CBS’ Face the Nation. “But Roberts, I’m told by my sources, changed his views, deciding to instead join with the liberals. There was a one-month campaign to bring Roberts back into the conservative fold, led, ironically, by Anthony Kennedy.”

Juanita…you asshole.&#160 You motherfucking son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch.

If this is, in fact, the case, this asswipe Roberts isn’t fit to judge an apple pie contest, much less sit as the Chief Justice on the highest court in the land.

This would basically mean that Bambi’s goons somehow got to him, threatened him (or his family), and intimidated him into changing his vote.

Such a coward is unfit for any public office, much less one so important as Chief Justice.&#160 Roberts must be removed immediately the minute we gain control of the Congress & the White House.

And if it does come out, somehow, that Bambi’s goons did, in fact, have a hand in intimidating Juanita Roberts…that may be what finally causes the fecal material to impact the oscillating cooling device.

You heard it here first.

Drew M over at Ace of Spades&#160 (hat tip:&#160 Subotai Bahadur, whom I still&#160 wish would come over here to write for me) puts it in crystal clear terms:

Dear GOP,

This is your last chance. If you blow this, I’m out and you need to be destroyed.

What is it? Repeal ObamaCare on Day 1. Don’t worry about replace, don’t worry about anything else. We will do everything we have to drag your sorry asses over the line this fall, including electing Mitt Fucking Romney.

In return this is what you will do:

Instead of adjourning for pictures and tea and cake to celebrate getting your pathetic asses elected to 2 or 6 years on the government teet, you will immediately pass a one line bill that says, “The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (and whatever statute number has to be included) is hereby repealed.”

That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.

Since Congress meets before Inauguration Day, Obama will still be President. Simply hold the legislation at the desk so the 10 day pocket veto clock doesn’t start. If other parliamentary BS is needed, just do it.

Then as soon as Mitt takes the oath of office, before his speech no one will care or remember, walk the bill up to him at the podium to sign.

If this does not happen, the GOP must be destroyed and a new party built to replace it. We’ve tried the carrot approach (votes, money, volunteers) to change your behavior. Now it’s time to show you the stick.

No more, “oh the other guys are worse” scare tactics. That might be true but it doesn’t mean you are any good.

This is your one job, do it or join the Whig Party in the dustbin of history.

Amen & amen.

I’m voting for Romney now, and I expect him to not only win, but to smash Bambi, and to drag a decisive GOP majority to Washington DC with him.

If they fail, I will have voted for my last Republican.

Denizens, welcome to this week’s edition of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153.

Arlington Heights gets its season ended by Birdville tonight, fifth-ranked Smurf Turf Douchebag State proves once again it can’t beat TCU without their so-called “trickeration” (they’ll win, but they’ll have to use trick plays to do so), sixth-ranked Oklahoma has the week off, so we’ll plug in 18th-ranked Wisconsin at UMinne-haha, 19th-ranked Nebraska is at 12th-ranked Penn State, and Dallas has Beefalo at home on Sunday.

And I’m not pontificating on the games this weekend, because I’ve got a Red Curtain o’ Blood&#153 covering my eyes RightAboutNow&#153, and a certain Filipina bitch – not to mention a lot of other Lame-Assed Media&#153 types – are at the top of my shit list.

Some background.&#160 A damned good man lost his job today, and he lost it for the CARDINAL, UNFORGIVABLE SIN!!!!11!!!ONE!!1!ELEVENTYMILLION!!1!…of following Pennsylvania state law.

I refer, of course, to Joe Paterno.

For the first time in almost a half-century, someone other than Joe Paterno is calling the shots at Penn State.

The winningest coach in major college football history was fired Wednesday night

A good man is now persona non grata&#160 with a great many shitheaded asshats around this country simply because he followed Pennsylvania state law and delivered a second-hand report from an underling about a criminal incident that he did not personally witness.&#160 Paterno went to his athletic director, as he should have done, and reported what he had been told.&#160 Yet, he is being treated as a pariah by those of the Fifth Column&#153 who think they’re entitled to be the moral arbiters of us all.

And whether Joe Paterno was initially told the lurid specifics of that 2002 rape or not, the reports that say that Jerry Sandusky still had access to the locker room, still had an office, and still was entitled to roam the Penn State campus defy all definitions of responsible adult behavior.

What does it take for someone, knowing Sandusky’s questioned past, to go to somebody in charge — the athletic director, the school president, the police — and ask, “What’s that pervert doing near this football team?”

Instead, having failed to expel one-time assistant coach and defensive coordinator Sandusky, the people at Penn State tried to pull a rug over the situation.

Because they could.

What, because you&#160 say so, Gil LeBretard?&#160 And pray tell, what gives you the right to pass judgment over Joe Paterno?&#160 Or any of us, for that matter?

And then there’s that Filipina skank, Michelle “Malicious” Malkin.

And now, it’s college football. The failures to act, the cover up, the rationalizations all echo each other — and also mirror the institutionalized failures, cover ups, and rationalizations of Catholic Church officials who enabled pedophiles to prey on innocent young victims entrusted to their care and oversight across the country.

The systemic enabling of child sexual predators is an unspeakable evil. So is willful ignorance about the sordid details of the case.

The latest developments? It looks like Joe Paterno will get off and get out easy.

Yeah, Malicious?&#160 Tell me – when do you get your&#160 comeuppance for what you did to Rick Perry, hm?&#160 When do you get shunned and frog-marched (as you apparently want to do with JoePa) for whining & sniveling about Tina Brown’s “stupid photo tricks” against your honeygirl, Michelle Bachmann, then four days later did the exact same fucking thing to Governor Perry?

The point, skank, in case you can’t keep up:&#160 Who the hell appointed you, or anyone like you, to be the definitive moral arbiter of all of us?&#160 What gives you, or this pusstard excuse-for-a-police-commissioner Fwankie Noonan, any business to stand up there on a pedestal and say what any&#160 of us should&#160 do?&#160 WHO MADE YOU THE BOSSES OF US, YOU BASTARDS?!

And now Joe Paterno, who had a 61-year career setting the definitive example of how a football program, college, pro or otherwise, should be run, is treated as less than pond scum and unceremoniously dumped from a job he loved, all because a bunch of fuckheaded, asstastic piles of shit decided to impose their own moral values on him and say he should&#160 have done something a lot of them probably wouldn’t have had the balls to do themselves in his stead?

Ever noticed how the same ones who snivel, piss & moan about Christians supposedly imposing their values on others suddenly decide it’s okay for them&#160 to do so when it involves their own&#160 half-assed excuses-for-values being imposed.

Fuck ’em.&#160 Just fuck all&#160 of ’em.&#160

UPDATE:&#160 Oh, and not to put too&#160 fine a point thereupon (and yes, I know this doesn’t mean shit to anyone outside this blog – give me credit for still realizing the world doesn’t revolve around me)…from this point forward into perpetuity, a Perfect Football Weekend&#153 will be declared on the spot, regardless of how the rest of my teams do, anytime Penn State gets its ass handed to them.

Meaning, for example, that if Nebraska wins this weekend, it’s an automatic PFW, even if I go 0-4 with the other squads.

Fuck you, Penn State “trustees”.&#160 I wouldn’t trust you now with my shit, much less my kid.

It’s a damned good thing that I don’t own the Texas Rangers baseball franchise.

Ron “Crackhead” Washington would not have gotten the chance to manage Game 7.&#160 He would have been fired tonight.

Ponder this denizens. Ponder it for more than ohhhh…

Two farking nanoseconds….and BLOOD WILL SHOOT FROM YOUR EYES!!!

From George Washington through George W. Bush, Dictator Wannabe Obambi has outspent them all by FOURTY PERCENT. In just the first TWO YEARS of his FIRST TERM!

And just as a reminder, it’s $14.5 TRILLION and counting.

God help us.