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(The following is a column which appeared on my old web site, www.spatulacitybbs.com, on September 11th, 2001.  It is re-posted now in remembrance of then.

This will very likely be the last time this ever gets posted, as I do intend to close Spatula City sometime next year.)

NOTE: This column contains some coarse language. Back out now if such language offends you, please.

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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(The following is a column which appeared on my old web site, www.spatulacitybbs.com, on September 11th, 2001.  It is re-posted now in remembrance of then.)

NOTE: This column contains some coarse language. Back out now if such language offends you, please.

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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Fuck the law.

Fuck Roe v. Wade.

Fuck 7-2

In fact, fuck those seven bastards who voted for abortion baby-butchering on demand.

Fuck NARAL.  (Fuck NOW, for that matter.)

Fuck every last feminist who defends this barbaric practice.  From Betty Friedan & Kate Michelman all the fucking way down to Gloria Steinem & Andrea Marcotte.

To Hell – literally – with every fucking last one of them.

This son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch is deserving of the most painful, agonizing death imaginable.

Period.  End.  Stop.

And don’t get me started on the @#$%(!!! media – you know, the one that won’t cover any of it?

Infant beheadings. Severed baby feet in jars. A child screaming after it was delivered alive during an abortion procedure. Haven’t heard about these sickening accusations?

It’s not your fault. Since the murder trial of Pennsylvania abortion doctor Kermit Gosnell began March 18, there has been precious little coverage of the case that should be on every news show and front page.

But it isn’t.  And we know why, don’t we?

Fuck ‘em.  Fuck ‘em all.  With a rusty, steel-wire-wrapped, razor-embedded baseball bat.  For starters.

God’s judgement can’t come soon enough on this country, if you ask me. 

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‘Will there be resistance? Absolutely there will be resistance,’ he [Bambi] said.

You have no idea, you syphilitic son-of-a-Kenyan-crack-whore-bitch.

You.  Have.  No.  Fucking.  Idea.

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Memo to Lie-anne Fein-swine:

You are not  getting my guns.

None  of them.

Ever.

Capíce?

Don’t even think  about it.

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(The following is a column which appeared on my old web site, www.spatulacitybbs.com, on September 11th, 2001.  It is re-posted now in remembrance of then.)

NOTE: This column contains some coarse language. Back out now if such language offends you, please.

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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I.  DON’T.  MOTHER.  FUCKING.  THINK!!!  SO!!!!

One step closer, Demoscum.

One.  Fucking.  Step.  Closer.

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(Hat tip:  Hoft, as usual.)

And at the other extreme (i.e. the heterophobic pro-sodomite militant leftards) comes this video.

I’m putting it below the fold to give you time to put down all throwables/breakables/shootables, etc.  I guaran-damn-tee you that you’ll have your own personal RCOB™ going within fifteen seconds, and by the end will be wanting to print out a picture of this bastard to take to the range with you.

So here we go.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you:

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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And as if that weren’t enough (as the General succinctly noted here), the National Concubine of Asshats & Arsekissers decided to collect their own pound of flesh:

The NCAA decision to void all Penn State victories back to 1998 eliminated 111 Penn State victories, dropping iconic coach Joe Paterno from the all-time winningest football coach to 12th on the list.

With the wins voided, Paterno’s official career win total is 298. Bobby Bowden with 377 wins becomes the all-time winningnest Division I.

Bullshit.  Pure, unadulterated, 100-percent non-biodegradeable bullshit.  The NCAA does not have the authority to do that to either Paterno or  Penn State.  JoePa & the Nittany Lions won those games fair & square, and there’s fuck all  the NCAA can do about it.

Suck it, NCAA!  Joe Paterno has just as many wins as he did this time seven days ago.  Kiss Penn State’s collective ass if you don’t like that.

The NCAA has slammed Penn State with an unprecedented series of penalties, including a $60 million fine and the loss of all coach Joe Paterno’s victories from 1998-2011, in the wake of the Jerry Sandusky child sex abuse scandal.

Other sanctions include a four-year ban on bowl games, and the loss of 20 scholarships per year over four years.

Not that I give a shit about what happens to the school itself, seeing as it pissed on the Paterno family’s back and tried to tell ‘em it was raining.

But if I were them, I’d be on the horn to my attorneys RightFuckingNow™.  The National Cowards & Assholes Association may fancy itself as some sort of college athletics Gestapo, but that doesn’t mean their bullshit has the force of law.

Do it, Penn State.  Bloody their noses a bit and see if they don’t back off.

I dare you.

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This morning, Pennsylvania State University beclowned itself with an act of sacrilege.

The Joe Paterno statue was removed Sunday morning from its pedestal outside Beaver Stadium, and it will be stored in an unnamed “secure location,” Penn State president Rodney Erickson announced. Erickson also said the Paterno name will remain on the university’s library.

Well, how absolutely fuckin’ white  of Widdle Wodney. 

The decision came 10 days after a scathing report by former FBI director Louis J. Freeh found that Paterno, with three other top Penn State administrators, had concealed allegations of child sexual abuse made against former defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The Freeh report concluded their motive was to shield the university and its football program from negative publicity.

Lemme tell you something about Louise Freeh.  This dickhead was the FBI director for one Bill “Kaiser Wilhelm von Slickmeister” Clinton.

You guys do  remember Der Kaiser, don’t you?  You know – the half-assed excuse-for-a-President who had a full-blown affair with one Monica Lewinsky (complete with a cigar up her pussy & everything) – then lied about it to the American people?!?!?!?!?!  That  Kaiser Wilhelm?

Louise Freeh was part of one of the lyingest half-assed regimes in American history.  He himself is a lying sack of shit.  If Louise Freeh were to tell me that 2+2=4, I’d damned sure have a calculator & a couple of computers handy.

Joe Paterno was never charged with a crime.  He never had a fair trial.  His attorneys were never – and still  aren’t – allowed to cross-examine witnesses, whom themselves are shielded by their own  attorneys.  Yet we’re expected, nay obligated, to take Louise Freeh’s word as fucking gospel?!

Fuck.  That.

Joe Paterno, like every other American citizen, is innocent until proven guilty.  He, just like all the rest of us, is entitled to the benefit of the doubt.  Nothing less.

Yet Widdle Wodney Ewickson, being the spineless little dickweasel he is, will take the word of the FBI director of a known & proven liar, and further sully the reputation of the man that defined what previously had been the model college football program for nearly the last half century – and  does it after the man has died, thus leaving him unable to defend himself.

Typical leftard scumbaggery.

Fuck you, Rodney Erickson.

Fuck you, Penn State.

Fuck you, Louise Freeh, you cowardly little needle-dicked son-of-a-bitch.

FUCK ‘EM ALL, THE END! 

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It wasn’t bad enough, Denizens, that the backstabbing bitch Juanita Roberts, cast the tiebreaking vote to uphold a clearly unconstitutional Bambicare, calling it instead a tax, which in itself is also unconstitutional, having originated in the Imperial Socialist Senate.  It’s not bad enough that this Queefing Queer-assed Quisling™ slammed in one of the last nails of this country’s coffin, all but assuring its economic destruction henceforth.

No, what really brings down the Red Curtain o’ Blood™…is that this bastard was ag’in it before he was for it:

The Obamacare Supreme Court ruling seemed strange. Chief Justice John Roberts’ reasoning was incoherent. The conservative’s dissent read like it was originally meant to be a majority opinion. Now, we know why. According to Jan Crawford of CBS News, John Roberts switched sides in May, withstanding a “one-month campaign” from his conservative colleagues to change his mind.

“I am told by two sources with specific knowledge of the court’s deliberations that Roberts initially sided with the conservatives in this case and was prepared to strike down…the individual mandate,” said Crawford on CBS’ Face the Nation. “But Roberts, I’m told by my sources, changed his views, deciding to instead join with the liberals. There was a one-month campaign to bring Roberts back into the conservative fold, led, ironically, by Anthony Kennedy.”

Juanita…you asshole.  You motherfucking son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch.

If this is, in fact, the case, this asswipe Roberts isn’t fit to judge an apple pie contest, much less sit as the Chief Justice on the highest court in the land.

This would basically mean that Bambi’s goons somehow got to him, threatened him (or his family), and intimidated him into changing his vote.

Such a coward is unfit for any public office, much less one so important as Chief Justice.  Roberts must be removed immediately the minute we gain control of the Congress & the White House.

And if it does come out, somehow, that Bambi’s goons did, in fact, have a hand in intimidating Juanita Roberts…that may be what finally causes the fecal material to impact the oscillating cooling device.

You heard it here first.

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Drew M over at Ace of Spades  (hat tip:  Subotai Bahadur, whom I still  wish would come over here to write for me) puts it in crystal clear terms:

Dear GOP,

This is your last chance. If you blow this, I’m out and you need to be destroyed.

What is it? Repeal ObamaCare on Day 1. Don’t worry about replace, don’t worry about anything else. We will do everything we have to drag your sorry asses over the line this fall, including electing Mitt Fucking Romney.

In return this is what you will do:

Instead of adjourning for pictures and tea and cake to celebrate getting your pathetic asses elected to 2 or 6 years on the government teet, you will immediately pass a one line bill that says, “The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (and whatever statute number has to be included) is hereby repealed.”

That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.

Since Congress meets before Inauguration Day, Obama will still be President. Simply hold the legislation at the desk so the 10 day pocket veto clock doesn’t start. If other parliamentary BS is needed, just do it.

Then as soon as Mitt takes the oath of office, before his speech no one will care or remember, walk the bill up to him at the podium to sign.

If this does not happen, the GOP must be destroyed and a new party built to replace it. We’ve tried the carrot approach (votes, money, volunteers) to change your behavior. Now it’s time to show you the stick.

No more, “oh the other guys are worse” scare tactics. That might be true but it doesn’t mean you are any good.

This is your one job, do it or join the Whig Party in the dustbin of history.

Amen & amen.

I’m voting for Romney now, and I expect him to not only win, but to smash Bambi, and to drag a decisive GOP majority to Washington DC with him.

If they fail, I will have voted for my last Republican.

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Denizens, welcome to this week’s edition of the Perfect Football Weekend™.

Arlington Heights gets its season ended by Birdville tonight, fifth-ranked Smurf Turf Douchebag State proves once again it can’t beat TCU without their so-called “trickeration” (they’ll win, but they’ll have to use trick plays to do so), sixth-ranked Oklahoma has the week off, so we’ll plug in 18th-ranked Wisconsin at UMinne-haha, 19th-ranked Nebraska is at 12th-ranked Penn State, and Dallas has Beefalo at home on Sunday.

And I’m not pontificating on the games this weekend, because I’ve got a Red Curtain o’ Blood™ covering my eyes RightAboutNow™, and a certain Filipina bitch – not to mention a lot of other Lame-Assed Media™ types – are at the top of my shit list.

Some background.  A damned good man lost his job today, and he lost it for the CARDINAL, UNFORGIVABLE SIN!!!!11!!!ONE!!1!ELEVENTYMILLION!!1!…of following Pennsylvania state law.

I refer, of course, to Joe Paterno.

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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It’s a damned good thing that I don’t own the Texas Rangers baseball franchise.

Ron “Crackhead” Washington would not have gotten the chance to manage Game 7.  He would have been fired tonight.

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Ponder this denizens. Ponder it for more than ohhhh…

Two farking nanoseconds….and BLOOD WILL SHOOT FROM YOUR EYES!!!

From George Washington through George W. Bush, Dictator Wannabe Obambi has outspent them all by FOURTY PERCENT. In just the first TWO YEARS of his FIRST TERM!

And just as a reminder, it’s $14.5 TRILLION and counting.

God help us.

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