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{Cross-posted from the Southern Command HQ notification system}

Okay all you Southern Command constituents, it’s that time of year to make preparations for the annual New Year’s Day tradition of black-eyed peas.

Here’s a good recipe for the peas.

Now remember, the tradition is

The practice of eating black-eyed peas for luck is generally believed to date back to the Civil War. At first planted as food for livestock, and later a food staple for slaves in the South, the fields of black-eyed peas were ignored as Sherman’s troops destroyed or stole other crops, thereby giving the humble, but nourishing, black-eyed pea an important role as a major food source for surviving Confederates.

Today, the tradition of eating black-eyed peas for the New Year has evolved into a number of variations and embellishments of the luck and prosperity theme including:

•Served with greens (collards, mustard or turnip greens, which varies regionally), the peas represent coins and the greens represent paper money. In some areas cabbage is used in place of the greens.

•Cornbread, often served with black-eyed peas and greens, represents gold.

And finally, some things to remember whilst you go about your celebrating:

•For the best chance of luck every day in the year ahead, one must eat at least 365 black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day.

•Black-eyed peas eaten with stewed tomatoes represent wealth and health.

•In some areas, actual values are assigned with the black-eyed peas representing pennies or up to a dollar each and the greens representing anywhere from one to a thousand dollars.

•Adding a shiny penny or dime to the pot just before serving is another tradition practiced by some. When served, the person whose bowl contains the penny or dime receives the best luck for the New Year, unless of course, the recipient swallows the coin, which would be a rather unlucky way to start off the year.

The catch to all of these superstitious traditions is that the black-eyed peas are the essential element and eating only the greens without the peas, for example, will not do the trick.

ThatIsAll™

And enjoy your celebration responsibly. You are hereby ordered to return to duty promptly on January 2nd. Do I make myself clear, soldier?

Yes? Then DISMISSED!™

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…and, bah Gawd (a little Jim Ross lingo, there), don’tcha think it oughta be…?

To top off what has probably been the shittiest year in world history…now comes the worst news yet.

The Skank & the Pussy* are gonna have a bastard.

Get ready for yet another Kardashian to keep up with! On Sunday night, Kanye West “announced” that he and Kim Kardashian are expecting a child together when he told the crowd at his Atlantic City concert to “Stop the music and make some noise for my baby mama,” according to a fan on Twitter who was at the show, and then reportedly pointed to his girlfriend in the audience.

Although Kim – who is still married to her husband of 72 days, Kris Humphries – has yet to say anything to her nearly 17 million fans on Twitter, her rep did confirm that the reality star is pregnant. This will be the first child for both Kim, 32, and West, 35, who began dating in the spring of 2012.

Oh, how abso-fucking-lutely lovely.

One thing’s for damned sure:  If Antichrist wasn’t already here…he is now. 

*I’ll let you figure out which is which.  They’re fairly interchangeable, y’know.

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So now you’ve got a bunch of celebrities – and, well, okay, Widdle Bitchie Eisen too – sniveling about Newtown, and about how enough is enough.

So why is what they’re doing here okay…?

I mean, if they’re such terrified-by-guns dickweeds, should they really be enjoying all the bangie thingies they’re…um…utilizing…as they ply their craft?

Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?

Hm.  Maybe these celebretards should  go fuck themselves, y’know?

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Here’s the proof we needed to link Al-Obambi with the godfather of the socialist-marxist utopia that the progressives are salivating for:

{spew alert engaged}

{spew alert disengaged}

ThatIsAll™

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‘Will there be resistance? Absolutely there will be resistance,’ he [Bambi] said.

You have no idea, you syphilitic son-of-a-Kenyan-crack-whore-bitch.

You.  Have.  No.  Fucking.  Idea.

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In a government. Surprise, surprise.

But not in America. {No surprise there}

It’s in France no less.

Embattled French President Francois Hollande suffered a fresh setback Saturday when France’s highest court threw out a plan to tax the ultrawealthy at a 75 percent rate, saying it was unfair.

In a stinging rebuke to one of Socialist Hollande’s flagship campaign promises, the constitutional council ruled Saturday that the way the highly contentious tax was designed was unconstitutional. It was intended to hit incomes over €1 million ($1.32 million).

The largely symbolic measure would have only hit a small number of taxpayers and brought in an estimated €100 million to €300 million — an insignificant amount in the context of France’s roughly €85 billion deficit.

Who’d a thunk it? The French, with a far-left SOCIALIST president (further left than Al-Obambi mind you), have the smarts to realize taxing the wealth ain’t gonna fix the problem.

Bravo French courts, bravo.

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This should come as absolutely no surprise to anyone here at the Southern Command. And given Al-Obambi’s penchant for “fundamental transformation” it’s no surprise that the carpet baggers (aka Sen. Chuck Schumer) from New Yawrk are willingly following suit. Follow along here if you will…..

The Senate approved a $60.4 billion recovery package on Friday intended to help the states affected by Hurricane Sandy in November. Appearing on “Cavuto” on Friday night, American Majority Action spokesman Ron Meyer said the bill was also packed with tons of “pork” spending, some of which won’t even occur until after 2013.

Some of the pork spending reportedly goes towards projects that have nothing to do with Hurricane Sandy or the victims, including millions of dollars for tree planting in areas untouched by Sandy and a new roof for the Smithsonian Museum. When an elected representative appropriates government spending for local projects to help his or her district, it is know as “pork barrel” spending.

Wait…the hypocrisy of Schumer continues!

…$1 out of every $20 spent in the Sandy bill will go to “non-relief-related pork.”

Yes folks, THAT’S our CON-gress in action.

Excuse me, I’m going to get sick. AGAIN!

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Denizens, we start off what’s probably the last Perfect Football Weekend™ episode of what was a very disappointing season (made so because of my inability to provide weekly updates) with an “Awwww” moment.

We don’t have too much to add to this perfect Christmas video. A son gives his Alabama fan father a hat for a gift, but the real surprise comes when he asks him to look inside the hat at what size it is.

That’s when he finds a pair of tickets to the BCS Championship Game. The father is Don Buckhannan, and his son is Daniel. They are from Oxford, Ala., ESPN.com said. Tickets to the title game between Alabama and Notre Dame on Jan. 7 in Miami are extremely hard to come by – the cheapest ticket on StubHub.com as of mid-afternoon on Christmas was $979.

Don Buckhannan’s reaction to getting the tickets from his son sums up the joyous spirit of the holidays.

Indeed it does. Merry Christmas (if belated) to Mr. Buckhannon.  Roll Tide.

Let’s get to the football.  It’s Bowl Season™ – which means, of course that all my teams are in.    Tomorrow night, it’s Gary Patterson’s TCU Horned Frogs taking aim at the Michigan State Spartans of the Big Ten – the first such opponent since Bucky in the Rose Bowl back in 2011.

It’ll be a close game – Vegas has the Froggies as a slight (2½-point) favorite, so I’m pleased it’s Jaden Overkrom kicking instead of Ross Evans this year.

Sunday, it’s for all the NFC East marbles as the Dallas Cowgirlz up in Warshington to take on the Foreskins and The Second Coming Of The World’s Greatest Ever Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever, Ever!!!™, ARRRRRR GEEEEEEEE THREEEEEEE!!!!!  (And I will continue to call them the Cowgirlz until they put a major hurt on that bastard, too.  Someone needs to make the asshole eat a piece of humble pie – may as well be Dallas.)

All this means that, come Monday, I’ll be drinking to celebrate, or because I’m pissed off, one or the other.

KORRIOTH:  Yeah, we saw the champagne in the cooler.  Why not take some Romulan ale with us?

VENOMOUS:  Because I wanna have taste buds on Wednesday.

MERLIN:  He’s got a point, General.

KORRIOTH:  (grunt)

New Year’s Day, I’ll be nursing a hangover, first with 16th-ranked Nebraska (would someone please  tell me how it is that these choke artists are ranked after that shit they pulled in Indianapolis?) going up against seventh-ranked Georgia in the Capital One (“What’s in your  wallet?”) Bowl.  And I’ve half a mind to yank Bo’s Bunglers out of the PFW and pull for Georgia instead.

As it is, the Dawgs are a solid 9½-point favorite – and I think that’s being kind to the Huskers, given what Steve Spurrier did to them last year.

Later on that day, it’ll be Bucky going for the Mexican Hat-Trick™ (three losses in a row) in the Rose Bowl vs. the Stanford Cardinal.  Even without Andrew Luck, the Cardinal are a good 6½-point favorite over Bucky.

Oh – and did I mention that the Badgers are gonna be minus another coach in this matchup?

In its second stunning hiring this year, Arkansas tabbed Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema to take over a program that went into a tailspin after former coach Bobby Petrino was fired for hiring his mistress to work in the athletic department.

Does anyone really  think Bucky has a chance?

One week from tonight, it’s the Cotton Bowl, where Bob Stoops’ 11th-ranked Oklahoma Sooners will take on Heisman Trophy winner (the first worthy one in two years, I might add) Johnny Manziel and the ninth-ranked Texas A&M Aggies.

Hope Bob brought his zebras with him from the TCU game.  He’s gonna need ‘em.

We’ll be back Monday, January 7th, with the recap and benediction.  We also may have our take on Bama-Irish for the national championship, so keep your eyes peeled.

In the meantime, my last question for HDD this year is…so does Barry Alvarez come back a third time?

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Memo to Lie-anne Fein-swine:

You are not  getting my guns.

None  of them.

Ever.

Capíce?

Don’t even think  about it.

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Once again, it’s the old saw about eleven-on-eighteen.

Wylie East 49, Mesquite Poteet 52

at TCU 24, #11 Oklahoma 10, Blind-Assed OU-Homer Zebra Bastards +7 (-7)

Wisconsin 70, #12 Nebraska 31 (at Indianapolis – B1Q Championship)

at Dallas 38, Philthydelphia 33

Dallas 20, at Cincinnati 19

at Dallas 27, Pittsburgh 24 (OT)

at Dallas 31, New Orleans 34 (OT)

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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Now in those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus, that a census be taken of all the inhabited earth. This was the first census taken while Quirinius was governor of Syria. And everyone was on his way to register for the census, each to his own city.

Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, in order to register along with Mary, who was engaged to him, and was with child.

While they were there, the days were completed for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

In the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened.

But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.”

When the angels had gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds began saying to one another, “Let us go straight to Bethlehem then, and see this thing that has happened which the Lord has made known to us.” So they came in a hurry and found their way to Mary and Joseph, and the baby as He lay in the manger.

When they had seen this, they made known the statement which had been told them about this Child. And all who heard it wondered at the things which were told them by the shepherds. But Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart.

The shepherds went back, glorifying and praising God for all that they had heard and seen, just as had been told them.

—Luke 2:1-20 (NASB)

And may God add His blessings to the reading of His holy Word.

Merry Christmas, Denizens.  This season, more than any other – remember why.

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Yet another holiday tradition hits us here at the Realm™, Denizens – the annual visit by everyone’s favorite General, the fat guy who wears all the red. 

Usually it’s a round-robin between Supreme General Rayegun, David Hartung and myself, each of us taking turns posting it, and the other two linking thereto.  However, given that (even though each of them still have their own little corner of cyberspace Rayegun’s place is still intact) we’re all in one place now, it seems fitting that I tack the bulletin to the board.  Raise the flag and see who salutes, as it were.

Besides – it’s my turn, anyway.    (Well, it’s actually the General’s turn, but I’ve not heard from him for a few days.  Possibly he & the Generalette are hitting the Romulan Ale a bit in celebration of Texas Tech finally ridding themselves of Tommy-boy Tuberville.  Who knows?    )

(More to the point, neither the General nor the Vicar have volunteered to do the honors, so…)

And, wonder of wonders – this year, it’ll even be formatted properly.  (Well – mostly, anyway.    )

General Claus’ Visit

To: All Personnel

_1._ An official visit by MG Santa (NMI) Claus is expected at this headquarters 25 December 1998. The following instructions will be in effect and govern the activities of all personnel during the visit:

_a._ Not a creature will stir without official permission. This will include indigenous mice. Special stirring permits for necessary administrative actions will be obtained through normal command channels. Mice stirring permits will be obtained through the office of OSURG, Veterinary Services.

_b._ Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap prior to 2200 hours, 24 December 2009. Uniform for the nap will be: Pajamas, cotton, light, drowsing, with kerchief, general purpose, camouflage; and Cap, camouflage w/ear flaps. Equipment will be drawn from CIF prior to 1900 hours, 24 December 2009.

_c._ Personnel will utilize standard ration sugar plums for visions to dance through their heads. This item will be drawn from the servicing dining facility.

_d._ Stockings, wool, cushion sole, will be hung by the chimney with care. Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fire hazards caused by carelessly hung stockings. Unit Safety Officers will submit stocking hanging plans to this headquarters prior to 0800 hours, 24 December 1996, ATTN: AEAGA-S, for approval.

_e._ At the first sign of clatter from the lawn, all troops will spring from their beds to evaluate noise and cause. Immediate action will be taken to tear open the shutters and throw open the window sashes. ODCSOPS Plan (Saint Nick), Reference LO No. 3, paragraph 6c, this headquarters, 2 February 1995, will be in effect to facilitate shutter tearing and sash throwing. Division chiefs will familiarize all personnel with procedures and are responsible for ensuring that no shutters are torn open nor window sashes thrown prior to start of official clatter.

_f._ Prior to 2400, 24 December 2009, all personnel will be assigned “Wondering Eye” stations. After shutters are thrown and sashes are torn, these stations will be manned.

_g. _ODCSLOG will assign one each Sleigh, miniature, M-66, and eight (8) deer, rein, tiny, for use of MG Claus’ driver who, in accordance with current directives and other applicable regulations, must have a valid SF 56 properly annotated by Driver Testing; be authorized rooftop parking and be able to shout “On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen, up Comet, up Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen.”

_2._ MG Claus will enter quarters through standard chimneys. All units without chimneys will draw Chimney Simulator, M-6, for use during ceremonies. Chimney simulator units will be requested on Engineer Job Order Request Form submitted to the Furniture Warehouse prior to 19 December 2009, and issued on DA Form 3161, Request for Issue or Turn-In.

_3._ Personnel will be rehearsed on shouting “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.” This shout will be given on termination of General Claus’ visit. Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of division chiefs.

__CHRISTOPHER K. RINGLE__
Colonel, US
OIC, Special Services

At ease, troops. 

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Denizens, you heard it here first.  (Or “foist”, to use a bit of Rott terminology.)

Barring a completely unexpected turn of events – the bastard stealing the election in about three weeks? – you have just seen the death knell of the Weepy Boner speakership.

Speaker John A. Boehner’s effort to pass fallback legislation to avert a fiscal crisis in less than two weeks collapsed Thursday night in an embarrassing defeat after conservative Republicans refused to support legislation that would allow taxes to rise on the most affluent households in the country.

House Republican leaders abruptly canceled a vote on the bill after they failed to rally enough votes for passage in an emergency meeting about 8 p.m.

Within minutes, dejected Republicans filed out of the basement meeting room and declared there would be no votes to avert the “fiscal cliff” until after Christmas. With his “Plan B” all but dead, the speaker was left with the choice to find a new Republican way forward or to try to get a broad deficit reduction deal with President Obama that could win passage with Republican and Democratic votes.

Gee, seems that can they’ve been kicking down the road has suddenly developed a solid iron core.  Sufficient to make the Sniveler of the House stub his toe a bit, eh what?

Good.

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Denizens, the good news is that both the machines are now back up & stable.

KORRIOTH:  For now.

VENOMOUS:  Oh, thanks, Django Downer.

MERLIN:  Well, y’know, it’s been, what, about three-plus years since the Great Hard Drive Upgrade Extravaganza™?  Remember what you’re always saying about electronic components?

VENOMOUS:  Yeah, yeah, yeah – they can fail at any time, for any reason…

ALL (in unison):  …or for no reason.

And even as I type this, the fan on the work box is very audibly reminding me that it’s in desperate need of replacement.

May be a bit before I get caught up (read:  finally post the long-over PFW recap(s)) – but I found a blurb from this column (dealing with pet peeves) this morning and had to repost.

Below the fold.  Go click it – it’s that damn good.

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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[ED. NOTE:  Changed the date on this - well, for purely selfish reasons (the calendar there to the right is looking a little bare). Done, because I'm Venomous and I can. (grin)]

The following is the sermon preached this morning at St Luke Lutheran Church. Before posting the actual sermon, a comment is in order. Do not, in any way assume that I am calling for there to be no punishment for these mass murderers. Breaking the law brings with it consequences. The guilty individual in Newtown escaped temporal legal consequences by killing himself.

Here is this morning’s sermon:

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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