Posted by Darth Venomous @ 19:11
Denizens, as we begin this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend, we are amused that Joseph “Lightfingers” Randle simply Can. Not. Keep. His. Mouth. Shut.
Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant and running back Joseph Randle got into an argument as the media was entering the practice field Friday.
Bryant did not divulge what the argument was about when asked after practice, but a source said it was related to a comment Randle made during the running back’s arrest earlier this month in reference to a July 2012 incident involving Bryant and the receiver’s mother.
“Dez didn’t miss no games for slapping his mama,” Randle said in the video, obtained by KDFW-TV, that was taken while he was being booked after stealing underwear and a tester bottle of cologne form a Dillard’s in Frisco, Texas.
Randle was wondering aloud if he’d be suspended by the team for the shoplifting arrest.
Bastard shoulda been cut – especially after coughing up the ball the other night against the Foreskins.
In the video, Randle also made a comment about Josh Brent, who was convicted of vehicular manslaughter for his involvement in an accident that led to the death of teammate and friend Jerry Brown in 2012.
“Josh Brent, he’s still up in the locker room. He was driving drunk. That’s stupid,” Randle said.
Randle made other flippant remarks while being booked, including asking a female jail employee if she would give him a massage if he paid her $100 and asking why his height and weight were not on his mug shot.
Asshole thinks he’s a hot shit, when he’s not even among the top three running backs at Valley Ranch.
Let’s get on with the football. My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets, having all but won District 7-5A, have to fight against a letdown tonight when they play the Trimble Tech Bulldogs here in a little bit. South Hills handled the Green & White pretty easily a couple of weeks ago, so I expect Heights to roll here.
Tomorrow afternoon, Gary Patterson’s seventh-ranked TCU Horned Frogs have what will probably be their toughest test, as they’re in Morgantown to play the 20th-ranked West Virginia Mountaineers.
How tough? WVA gave Baylor what should have been their second consecutive loss – had it not been for the LIttle Darlings′ hand-picked zebras a couple weeks ago.
TCU’s a 5½-point road fave, which means it’ll come down to Jaden Overkrom, most likely.
Sunday, it should be a near-walkover for the Cincy Bengals, as Andy Dalton’s crew hosts the worst team in the NFL, namely the Jacksonville Jaguars.
Running back Giovani Bernard is out for the Black & Orange; hopefully, that won’t make much of a difference. AJ Green returns, though, so that should get them through.
The wildcards this week will be 18th-ranked Oklahoma taking out their frustrations on Iowa State, 3rd-ranked Auburn at 4th-ranked Ole Miss (I’m going out on a limb on this one), and Indiana for the upset special at Michigan (trust me, sportz fanz – Brady Hoke is on his way out).
With any luck, we’ll have a timely recap this week. In the meantime…the crumb-crunchers are about to start knocking at my door, so…
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 22:27
That’ll teach me.
Arlington Heights 66, South Hills 48
at #10 TCU 82, Texas Tech 27
at Cincinnati 27, Baltimore 24
at #16 Nebraska 42, Rutgers 24
BYU 30, at Boise State 55
at #11 Kansas State 23, Texas 0
at Dallas 17, Washington Foreskins 20 (OT)
Posted by David Hartung @ 22:13
As his Nastiness pointed out several weeks ago, the Vicar seems to have his own PFW going on this year. More details later, but this afternoon number one Mississippi State University(it really feels strange writing that) beat the University of Kentucky and moved to 7 and 0 on the season. Later this evening, LSU beat Ole Miss, leaving the Dawgs as the only unbeaten SEC team. More to follow on Monday, but this is shaping up to be a banner year for the Mississippi State Bulldogs!
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 18:44
As we begin this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend, Denizens, we note for the record that the Dallas Cowboys have finally come to their senses and released Michael Sam from the practice squad in favor of linebacker Troy Davis and defensive tackle Ken Bishop (both of whom were in Dallas’ training camp).
This creates something a dilemma in the Realm.
Remember back here, when I said:
So that’s it. I’m done with Dallas – for good, this time. The Cowgirlz now become a PFW “Anti-Team” – meaning they’re now this scribe’s least-favorite team, more disliked than even the Warshington Foreskins or the San Transexual Fairy Whiners.
Honestly, what’s a King & Tyrant to do? They’re playing well, and Cincy…well…isn’t. And I’ve pretty much always followed them, whereas I’m only following Cincinnati because of Andy Dalton.
Okay, on with the football. This is the acid test for Phil Young & my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets. They have the South Hills Scorpions tonight, and SHHS is every bit as good (if not better) as the Jackets.
As much as I hate to say it, I think the Scorps are gonna win…and Great Honkin’ Cthulhu, I hope I’m wrong.
Saturday, Gary Patterson’s 10th-ranked TCU Horned Frogs are at home against perennial pest Texas Tech.
This is sort of a rivalry game in the Realm, as the wife of Supreme General Rayegun (hereinafter referenced as the Generalette) is a Tech grad; thus, the Southern Command has a vested interest in the game.
OZY McCOOL: Shall I get to work on the shields, in case the General decides to bring the Black Helicopter Fleet and take TCU’s inevitable victory out on us?
VENOMOUS: Probably, and make sure the pulse disruptor is in good repair, as well.
(Sorry, General. But TCU’s flying high, and you guys barely beat Rock Chalk last week. Besides, Vegas has the Frogs as a 23-point favorite.)
Sunday, Cincinnati will try to score a point.
Don’t laugh. They have Baltimore at home, and even though the Unconvicted Criminal, Ray Lewis, no longer plays for them, their defense is still most stout. And Vegas has the Ravens as a 1-point road favorite.
And after what Indy did to them last week, there’s a raised eyebrow pointed towards Cincy’s offensive coordinator.
For my wildcard games, we’re going with Rutgers visiting #16 Nebraska (the Scarlet Knights have basically stunk up their first year in the B1G), BigamY U (that’s Brigham Young for those of you in the Church of the SubTarded) traveling to that ugly-assed blue field to take on Smurf-Turf State (things aren’t quite as easy with out Chrissy “Trick Play” Peterson on the sidelines) tonight, the
T-Sip Shortdicks TU Longhorns up in Lawrence to take on #11 Kansas State (the Wildcates bore everybody to a win) – and in a bonus game, the Dallas Cowboys to steamroll the Warshington Foreskins REDSKINS, DAMMIT!!!!! at home…
UPDATE: …on Monday night.
I will make an effort to get you the recap on
Monday Tuesday. In the meantime, my question for the Vicar is…Southern Miss, a 9½-point home dogg to Louisiana Tech?!?!?!
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 8:17
What in the hell has happened to A&M?
Arlington Heights 63, North Side 3
at #12 TCU 42, #15 Oklahoma State 9
Cincinnati 0, at Indianapolis 27
at #7 Alabama 59, #21 Texas A&M 0
#19 Nebraska 38, at Northwestern 17
at #11 Oklahoma 30, #14 Kansas State 31
Posted by David Hartung @ 9:43
For the second week in a row, Mississippi State and Ole Miss are numbers 1 and three respectively in the AP poll. In addition SEC teams make up four of the top five, and five of the top ten in that same poll.
Last Summer the Vicar attended a vicar type conference in Seward Nebraska, where very few people had ever heard of Mississippi State; something tells me that were that same conference to be held this week, the responses would be very different. This coming week Mississippi State faces Kentucky and hope is high in Starkville that we will go to bed Saturday night a 7 and 0 team.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 23:28
Hey, Artie Briles! Hey, Widdle Bwice Pussy!
Not quite as fucking easy when it isn’t your hand-picked zebras calling the game, is it, you pathetic bastards?!?!?!
Baylor was penalized 18 times for a Big 12-record 215 yards. Seven were for pass interference.
Live by the zebra, die by the zebra.
Gotta. Love. It.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 23:59
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 23:59
God forbid that anything should happen to the Little Darlings of the Big XII Conference, y’know. Right?
Arlington Heights 52, O.D. Wyatt 15
#9 TCU 58, #5 Baylor 40, Pussy-Assed Needle-Dick XII’s Faggot Zebras 21
at Cincinnati 37, Carolina 37 (OT)
at Iowa 45, Indiana 29
West Virginia 37, at Texas Tech 34
Oklahoma 31, Texas 26 (at Dallas)
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 22:01
Denizens, once again my workload betrays me as we begin this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend – such that I don’t have a story to rant about (there’s not been time to look)
So let’s get on with it. My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets are playing the O.D. Wyatt Chaparrals for the District 7-5A championship. (Yes, it’s still early in the season, but Wyatt’s the only team in the district that even looks like it could take Heights.)
And as I’m writing this, the Chaps aren’t doing a very good job – it’s 52-15, Heights, in the fourth. We’ll chalk that one up as a win.
Saturday, Gary Patterson’s ninth-ranked TCU Horned Frogs continue their personal Bataan Death March as they go into Waco to play at #5 Baylor’s new digs. The Cubbies are an 8½-point favorite at home – but then again, OU was favored against the Tadpoles, so we’ll see.
Sunday, Andy Dalton’s Cincinnati Bengals, fresh off their whipping at the hands of New England, return home to face Cam Newton and the Carolina Panthers. Carolina’s still a Jekyll & Hyde-type team, and Vegas has Cincy as a 7-point home fave…which means that Newton’ll probably run wild.
For my wild-card games, I’m going with Indiana visiting Iowa (Vegas has it razor-thin, but Iowa’s at home), West Virginia at Texas Tech (Kliff’s Kidz will eventually get well, but not here), Rice at Army (if they can beat Southern Miss at Hattiesburg, they can handle the Cadets at West Point) – and of course, Oklahoma trampling the TU
Shortdicks Longhorns (Charlie Strong’s dismissed about a quarter of his team so far, and what they have left isn’t enough to handle a pissed-off OU squad).
UPDATE: I do note, for the record, that they’re now calling OU-Texas the “Red River Showdown”.
Well, at least it’s better than the limp-wristed, pansy-assed, metrosexual “Red River Rivalry”… (sigh)
We’re back Monday or thereabouts with the recap. In the meantime…I think Heights has scored again…
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 23:59
When you run into a buzzsaw, there isn’t a helluva lot you can do.
Arlington Heights 75, Southwest 6
at #25 TCU 37, #4 Oklahoma 33
Cincinnati 17, at New England 43
Posted by David Hartung @ 6:19
It does happen. this past Saturday, not only did the MSU Bulldogs decisively beat Texas A&M(48-31), but Ole Miss beat number one ranked Alabama 32-17. For the first time since 1962 Ole Miss is 5 and 0, and the last time both teams were rankle in the top 15 at the same time was the 1950s. Needless to say, Mississippi college football fans are in a very good mood. From a Mississippi standpoint, about the only thing that could have made it better would be if our other major university had managed a win; unfortunately, Southern Mississippi seems to be rebuilding this year.
From the standpoint of the Vicar’s family, Mrs. Vicar grew up near Pittsburgh, and the Vicar grew up in Wisconsin, and both of us are USAF veterans. Air Force beat Navy 30-21, and both Green bay and Pittsburgh NFL Teams won.
The question is, can we do it twice in a row, Mississippi State plays Auburn this coming Saturday at Scott Field in Starkville, both teams are undefeated, but Auburn is a 2.5 point favourite. Ole Miss will travel to Texas to play the Aggies, the hope here is that they will win so decisively, that the Aggies develop a complex about Mississippi!
We shall see!
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 1:25
Guys, I am down right now. AT&T UVerse has decided, in its infinite lack of wisdom, to go belly up on me. Updates, therefore, are on hold until further notice.
That is all. Carry-on.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 19:27
The light has come on at Valley Ranch.
Hide de wimmen ‘n chill’runs.
TCU 56, at SMU
#6 Texas A&M 35, Arkansas 28 (at Arlington, TX)