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Well, Denizens, I finally found something about which to rant as we begin this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend – surprise, surprise, it’s Roger Goodfella’s Goodell’s NFL (No Fun League).

Behold:

Apparently, Phil Phylicia Simms has a problem saying the word “Redskins”.  And the DC faithful had no problem roasting his ugly ass because of it.  (I wouldn’t have either, BTW.)

Enter Roger Goodfella’s Goodell’s NFl brownshirts:

Kristen B.
@KristenBerset Follow

#Redskins fans protesting Phil Simms refusal to use team name . #NFL official told them to take it down @wusa9
6:12 PM – 25 Sep 2014

Ray Rice originally gets only a couple of games for the left cross he gave his then-fiancée, but CRACK DOWN ON THE FANS EXERCISING THEIR FREE-SPEECH RIGHTS!!!!!

Mother-fucking fascist retards.

On to the football.  Tomorrow, it’s the annual Battle For The Iron Skillet™ (otherwise known in Namby-Pambyville as the “D/FW Duel”) as Gary Patterson’s TCU Horned Frogs travel to Dal-wa to take on the Shitland Ponies of SMUT.

The Shitlanders have scored six (6) points.  All season (3 games).  And haven’t given up less than 43 points in any of those three games.

This is a major trap game for the Froggies.  Lose this game, and it’s “attaboy/awshit” time again.

Vegas has the Tadpoles as a 32½-point road favorite.  Gary…you need to cover, and then some.

Believe it or not, that’s it for the Core Teams™.  My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets & Andy Dalton’s Cincinnati Bengals are off this week.  So we’ll go with an NFL wild-card game, featuring Sean Payton’s New Orleans Saints visiting the Allas Cowgirlz (still no D) on Sunday night (turn down your TV sound so you won’t have to listen to Roberta Costas).  Once again, the ‘Girlz will do the Mediocrity Tango™ and wind up at .500 as they get their asses handed to them.

For college wildcard games, we have Turner Gill’s Liberty Flames at Indiana State (sorry, Turner, I don’t have that much faith in your program), UTennessee at #12 Georgia (the Dawgs romp in the Pound™), Ar-kansas in College Station to get flattened by #6 Texas A&M (sorry, Piggies, A&M isn’t Tech), T-Sip U at Rock Chalk (even with all the kids Charlie Strong’s kicking off the Shortdick Longhorn squad, this one’s a gimme) and Rice playing the sacrificial lamb at Southern Miss (this one should please the Vicar).

We’ll try to have a recap before next Saturday Monday.  In the meantime, New Mexico State is a 43½-point road dog at Death Valley (LSU), and my question is…is that all?

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Okay, so let me see if I have this right:

We’ve got BambiCare causing all manner of folks to lose insurance they wanted to keep, and to pay more & more to replace it.

Vladimir Putin has invaded the Ukraine.

We have some 270 folks missing that were on a Malaysian Airlines plane.  No evidence of a crash or anything, the plane just went missing.

The Second Civil War™ may be just about to start.

And folks are getting the vapors over…thigh gap?!?!?!

It’s been OK to Photoshop since the invention of Photoshop, and perhaps no one has taken more advantage of it than the fashion and modeling industries. But Target’s apparent attempt to give a bikini model a fashionable thigh gap was such a hack job as to elicit a series of apologies from the company.

We.  Are.  So.  Fucking.  Screwed.

Let God’s judgement come.  We’ve fucking earned  it.

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Denizens, every once in a while I venture out of my little mac-and-cheese Comfort Zone™ here to partake of the Blogosphere™.  One of the sites I frequent is Twitchy, which follows stuff going on in the Twittersphere™.

And, every once in a while, I will (ahem) partake in some of the discussions.

(You just know  where this is going, don’t you?)

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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(Hat tip:  Twitchy.)

Item:  A tweet delivered to Cherilyn Bono-Allman-whomever-she’s-fucking-now…

1.

Cher

Been getting ready for photo shoot ! Cover,inside pics,press shots ! Go to Master album next wk &&& have Little Surprise ?

Jeffrey Whillans @Jeff_1983

@cher all this teasing! I’m beginning to think you’ve got a heart of stone, oh yeah, I said!

Item:  In response, Cherilyn tweeted…

Cher @cher

@Jeff_1983 TEASING IS WHAT FRIENDS DO ! BULLYING IS WHAT T-BAGGERS DO! Calling them Unmitigated ASSHOLES is what I Do! BIG DIFFERENCE!
2:58 AM – 24 Jul 2013

Y’know, I’m beginning to understand why Chastity changed her name & underwent that surgery.

If I were her, I wouldn’t want to identify with that Cupid Stunt™ mother of mine, either.

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(Hat tip, Twitchy.)

Item:  After an advisory sent by GOP congresscritter types, the NFL, shall we say, politely declined to help HHS director Kathleen Goerling Gosnell Sebelius promote the illegal Bambicare.

Item:  In response, David Asshole-rod Axelrod Asshole-rod went to Twitter to refer to the advisory as…as…well, here – read it for yourself:

David Axelrod ✔ @davidaxelrod

Now threats and intimidation? Appalling how far congressional Rs are willing to go to try and impede success of ACA. http://wapo.st/17IrWPE
7:59 AM – 29 Jun 2013

Yes, he really said that.

Yes.  He.  Really.  Said.  That.

One of the deans of Shit-cago thuggery.  Really.  Said.  That.

Mr. Kettle, there’s a Ms. Pot on line two…

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Denizens, consider this comment from Twitcherite “RUexperienced”.

You are correct.

I have posted on a conservative website (Free Republic) since 1998. And have seen a lot of things come and go. Today conservatives are killing their own movement.

Conservatives have always fought against RINOs like Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe, Gov’s Weld, Wilson and Whitman etc.

But since 2006, now the RINO list includes Huckabee, Rick Perry and Tim Paulenty. (the last two being a couple of the most credible people we have). And in the last year, the conservatives that are now RINOs are Rand Paul and Marco Rubio. And what about conservative governors in Ohio, Florida, Arizona, Michigan, etc who are with us on many issues but are trying to expand medicaid under Obamacare? Do we throw all of them out too?

(Sarah Palin and her crowd plays into this “I am more conservative than you” meme and helps to undercut every conservative that is running for office. You should have seen how her people on C4P treated established conservatives like Perry, Cain, Santorum, Bachman and Paulenty. It was disgraceful.

These “conservatives” are NOT of the same mold as Ronald Reagan, who practiced the proverb: “I would rather get a half a loaf than no loaf at all.”

Now, they’re talking about Der Sarahcuda’s ass-reaming of illegal alien  (THERE, I SAID IT!!!!!) amnesty turncoat Marco “Si, se puede” Rubio.  And “RUconservative” is of the RINO mindset that it’s we conservatives that are torching our own party.

Well, in the first place…it’s not conservatives that are destroying the party – it’s the (do you know how damned difficult it is not to take God’s name in vain here? ) RINOs who are oh-so-happy to lead us off the fucking cliff…just not as fast as the Democrats would.  (I actually had some bastard RINO tell me this at a GOP convention once.)

Secondly…note that last line about Ronaldus Magnus.

As much as I love the last real President this country’s had…he screwed the pooch on the 1986 amnesty.  He approved amnesty for all the illegals here at the time, with a promise  from the Demoscum to reallyreallyreally address border security this time, cross-our-hearts, pinky-finger-swear.

How’d that work out for us, hm?

Let’s get one thing straight, RINO pussies:  Where the GOP’s concerned, you need us a helluva  lot more than we need you.  I no longer feel the compulsion to cast a vote for any  Republican – though I’ll happily throw in with any conservative  that wants to give it a go.

See, there’s a difference.  We’ve been gently trying to tell you that for a long time, yet you still have that predilection to hob-nob on the DC party circuit with the Demoscum and your fellow GOP blue-bloods, with all your laughing at us Great Unwashed™ for being back-asswards hick-types.

And we’ve pretty much had enough.

Suggest you RINO doucherifles utilize the one collective brain cell remaining amongst you, and think about that for awhile.

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(Hat tip Twitchy.)

Annnnnnnd just when you think that our society’s hit absolute rock bottom…bammo, they whip out a jackhammer.

Denizens…meet “Senhor Testiculo”.

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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SAN ANTONIO – (Actually, I probably got it right the first time.)

As I’m sure you know by now, Denizens, the Outer Northern Rim of the Realm™ (aka Oklahoma City) was blasted yesterday, and we here are praying for the missing and the survivors & their families.

At least, those of us with a bare minimum of some semblance of humanity are.  Others…well, not so much.

The mile-wide tornado that destroyed Moore, Okla., and leveled at least two elementary schools was still weaving a path of devastation when Daily Show co-creator Lizz Winstead thought up a funny. Too soon?

With all respect due, Twitchy owner Malicious Malkin…never  would be too fucking soon.  And I guess you and the rest of the Twitched-ass douchbags over there think it’s okay, now that this waste of oxygen has “apologized”.

Made a political joke, Twas before devastation revealed. In hindsight, had I understood, I would have refrained. Beyond sorry. #LetMeHaveIt

Believe me, bitch, you wouldn’t like it very much if I “let [you] have it”.

Trust me on that.

Asswipe. 

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Denizens, as you probably know by now, there were two explosions near the finish line at the Boston Marathon today.  Latest count is three dead, 30 injured.  (*UPDATE*:  Now 12 dead, 50 injured two dead, 22 injured, according to Ace.)

This came from the Facebook page of one Nikki Kristof a few minutes ago:

Most inspiring glimpse here of the Boston marathon: runners who reportedly finished the 26 miles and then ran over to Mass General Hospital to donate blood.

And the least  inspiring would have to be this bastard Kristof…blaming the explosions on Republicans.

The @nytimes is advertising its “free” coverage on mobile phones, hoping to use the tragedy to gin up marketshare; meanwhile, Nick Kristof springs into action, blaming the explosion on the GOP:

explosion is a reminder that ATF needs a director. Shame on Senate Republicans for blocking apptment articles.washingtonpost.com/2013-02-01/wor… — Nicholas Kristof (@NickKristof) April 15, 2013

Kristof, you cowardly little pussy, it’s a Damn Good Thing™ you are where you are, and that I am where I am.

Because if I were anywhere near you, you’d be getting your syphillis-infested, skanky, swishy ass handed to you on a platter RightAboutNow™.

Little doucherifles like you, Nikki, need to taken out back and put out of our  misery.  And one of these days, you’re gonna say the wrong thing to someone’s face, and he’s gonna rearrange it to where you need to take your meals through a straw.

And when that happens…I’ll stand that patriot to a beer.

Pansy-assed little chickenshit… 

(Oh, and as to the title of the post…Hey, Nikki, you little cuntmuffin – if you can do it, so can I, you asswipe.)

UPDATE the 2nd:  Well, looks like the pusstard recanted.

People jumping on me for criticizing Sen Repubs for blocking ATF appointments. ok, that was low blow. i take it back

And that’s it.  No apology, no mea culpa.  Just “i take it back”.

What was it they said about toothpaste?

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Damn, who knew that Widdle Billie Maher was such a nadless, dickless, cowardly little POS chickenshit pussy?

Oh.  Wait.  That’s right.

Everybody knows that.

UPDATE:  And Bambi’s response to Clint’s speech last night?

Not for long, it ain’t.

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Okay, so Mittens picks Congresscritter Paul Ryan (R-WI) as his running mate.

I’m…whelmed.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m pleased there’s an actual conservative on the ticket.  And if he had, say, Christie’s moxie and Smart-Ass Quotient™, I’d be a little more excited.

But the Republican party seems to think it can win this election by being Above It All™ and out-debating Bambi & Captain Gaffetastic, believing that the American people will come to their senses and see for whom it is they need to vote.

This should tell you all you need to know about that.

(sigh) Time to stock up on more ammo…

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Item:  A 24-year-old bastard opens fire at a Batman movie midnight screening.

Item:  Chickenshit cunt Bill Maher…gloats.

Rt wingers luv to tout American Exceptionalism – today is a reminder that so many of the things that make us exceptional these days are bad

The limp-wristed pussy should probably be glad he’s nowhere near me.

For his sake.

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Roseanne Barr Arnold Barr The Fat-Ass Broad is at it again:

Roseanne Barr

* ✔

@TheRealRoseanne

no more all male priestclass will b allowed tax credits4 imposing suffering& punishment onto women or abuse victims. #yeaimgoingthere
1 Jul 12

* Reply
* Retweet
* Favorite

This from Ms. Avoirdupois Ass, the same skanky bitch who kept grabbing her crotch whilst screeching the National Anthem.

If that ain’t abuse, I’m not sure I’d wanna know what would qualify.

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Item:  Cher’s having a bad day

Reaction:  Fine with me, Cupid Stunt™.  Off yourself.  (And take that…that…that whatever-you-gave-birth-to…with you while you’re at it.)

It’s not like anyone with so much as a quarter of a brain is gonna miss your skanky ass, anyway, y’know?

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