Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 22:36
And now some good news for a change:
A suburban Houston homeowner was cleared by a grand jury Monday for fatally shooting two men he suspected of burglarizing his neighbor’s home.
Joe Horn, 62, shot the men in November after he saw them crawling out the windows of a neighbor’s house in the Houston suburb of Pasadena, carrying bags of the neighbor’s possessions.
Why yes, we are our neighbor’s keeper here in Texas. Why do you ask?
Mr. Horn, a retired grandfather, called 911 and told the dispatcher he had a shotgun and was going to kill them. The dispatcher pleaded with him not to go outside,
Because as we all know – when seconds count, the police are only minutes away.
but Mr. Horn confronted the men with a 12-gauge shotgun and shot both in the back.
Points taken off for style, to be sure, but the two dead goblins mitigate that quite substantially, I would say.
“The message we’re trying to send today is the criminal-justice system works,” Harris County District Attorney Kenneth Magidson said.
Actually, it sounds more like you’re sending the message that fuckheaded goblin perps aren’t going to get an even break in Harris County.
Which is just fine with us, we’re pleased to announce. Just fine with us.
The two suspected burglars, Hernando Riascos Torres, 38, and Diego Ortiz, 30, were unemployed illegal immigrants from Colombia. Mr. Torres was deported to Colombia in 1999 after a 1994 cocaine-related conviction.
LSIK&T: Kor, any response from the meter?
KORRIOTH: No, m’Lord – it must be broken. Here, have a look:
LSIK&T: No, Captain, I believe this fine piece of equipment is in perfect working order.
UPDATE: As usual, Misha – having far more time, on balance, than your humble correspondent to layeth the smacketh down on GFWs like All Barack Crap (all the time) News – has once again cranketh’d out a gem, and you are advised to go read it at your earliest convenience.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 15:49
Denizens, your homework assignment for the rest of the weekend is to go read this Joseph Farah column.
Then go out and do it.
I already have.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 10:00
So Dallas’ growing reputation as Loserville (a little Randy Galloway lingo, there) – the Stars notwithstanding, of course – gained more momentum Friday night when Jerry Jones’ Arena League entry, the Desperados, pulled another El Foldo act in a first-round playoff game – this time against New York’s other douchebag football team, the Dragons.
Yeah, the Dragons. Gayest team name in the effin’ league. And they were a fucking .500 regular-season team, to boot (8-8).
(That’s their third straight first-round playoff buh-bye, in case anyone’s counting.)
Now, I’m not sure how much attention Jerry is paying to the Desperados right at the moment. I do know that if I owned them, coach Will McClay would have been fired about 30 minutes after that sickening performance. This is about as bad as the Cowboys losing to that piece-of-shit Eli Manning. Hell – it’s as bad as anyone losing to that pansy-ass. Jerry, have you forgotten how to hire a coach who can win a freakin’ playoff game?????
Damn. Just, damn.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 21:01
Denizens, for the time being I’ve had to dump all addresses from the Gmail domain. Effin’ spammers…
Ergo, if you’re commenting, do a different addy.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 6:12
Those of you who’ve been under rocks recently and missed the Heller decision – score one for our side: The Soprano Court struck down the DC gun ban.
Misha pretty much said it here. I’ll have more to say tonight.
UPDATE: As I said this morning, Misha pretty much hit the nail on the head.
I’m convinced that, had the tin-horned, tyrannical blackrobe Toni Kennedy voted with the liberal bloc on the Soprano Court (as he usually does), cities far & wide would have begun drafting all manner of gun bans – handheld, rifles, shotguns and the so-called “assault” weapons. This, in turn, would very likely have triggered those of us who own guns and think with our noggins instead of our asses, to take said guns and take to the streets. The Second US Civil War would have ensued shortly thereafter.
You may think I’m embellishing things a tad. I’d hope that it wouldn’t come to that – but if the rest of America’s gun-owners are anything like me (and I think this likely), we’re not giving up our guns, regardless of what any court says. In such a scenario, we’d likely die – but we’d have an honor guard, as Misha likes to say.
So the Soprano Court dodged a bullet (pun intended). But only for now, and their decision is not a perfect one. Moreover, if Hopey “Flopears” McChangetude prevails in November (not out of the question, given how McZhamnesty has a predilection for shooting himself in the foot), this issue will return with a vengeance. And the scenario we just avoided might be inevitable next time.
And if it should come to that – I’ll tell you this right now, you leftist fucktards…you don’t stand a chance. And after we’re done with you, you’re gonna wish you still had a Constitution on which to fall back. We’ll win that particular struggle, and it’ll get ugly for you bastards from there.
Don’t say you wern’t warned.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 23:59
Denizens, the Red Curtain o’ Blood oozes particularly thick this evening. And the culprits are the usual suspects – IOW, the
Supreme Imperial Soprano Court. Specifically, the five liberal thugs who constitute the majority, led by the assclown who should be suing his law school for not giving him even a halfway-decent education in law, (*hackspit*) Anthony Kennedy (*hackspit*).
I mean, it’s not bad enough that the son-of-a-bitch let a 17-year-old murderer damn near get off scot-free because Kennedy thinks international law is more important than our Constitution. It wasn’t bad enough that this bastard then allowed Terri Schiavo to die a horrible, long and painful death.
Oh, no. Oh, hell no.
Now this fucking waste-of-oxygen and his four shit-for-brains tyrannical cohorts have come down on the side of child rapists. To hell with the will of the people of Louisiana, Texas and whatever other states had similar provisions – no, once again these five Jizz-gobbling Jurist Jackals have decided that they know better than the millions of people who voted, through their representatives, for these provisions to be enacted.
NAMBLA would be proud of these five sacks of putrid bullshit. I can almost hear their parties in honor of these assholes even now.
At this point, my question is not why these five motherfuckers are still on the
Supreme Soprano Court.
It’s not why they remain on any court at all.
It’s not why they remain firmly ensconced & employed by the United States government.
It’s not why they remain in the practice of law.
At this point – it’s why they remain. Period.
Why the Hell do these five gutless bastards continue to waste our oxygen tonight?
Where are the good people with brass ones who will stand up to these smarmy little black-robed pissants and say “ENOUGH!!!!!” ???
Ropes, trees, flamethrowers, whips, spiked balls, blackjacks, AK-47s, bayonets…you know the drill.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 22:20
So basically, you’ve got the Manchuriam Muslim, B. HUSSEIN!!! Obambi calling James Dobson a liar.
Memo to Flopears The Magic Jackass: Dr. Dobson (and where’s your doctorate, Obambi, you dumbass?) could tell me the sky was purple polka-dot and I’d take his word for it – whereupon if you were to tell me it was blue, I’d go outside to double check.
For you, a documented effin’ liar, to accuse a well-respected Christian leader of “making stuff up” shows us the height of your arrogance. Not to mention the fact that you’re full of bullshit to begin with, Barry.
The Rev. Kirbyjon Caldwell, a Methodist pastor from Texas and longtime supporter of President Bush who has endorsed Obama,
Which should tell you all you need to know about most Methodists – that they have their heads up their asses.
said Tuesday he belongs to a group of religious leaders who, working independently of Obama’s campaign, launched a Web site to counter Dobson at www.jamesdobsondoesntspeakforme.com. The site highlights statements from Obama and Dobson and asks visitors to compare them.
And I went over there and let them know, in no uncertain terms, just what I thoguht of them. And I encourage you to do the same.
Fucking asshats, the whole lot of ‘em.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 0:10
George Carlin, Mr. “Seven Dirty Words” himself, has kicked the bucket in L.A. this evening. He was 71.
Carlin never did have much good to say about those of us who call on the name of Christ. Something tells me he’s being reminded of that RightAboutNow.
UPDATE: Now, there was one thing that Carlin did that I absolutely went nuts about – and those of you who either know me well or have followed this blog any number of years during fall & winter pretty much know what it’s gonna be.
Nevertheless, here’s my favorite Carlin routine, for your viewing pleasure:
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 17:29
s stRangers once had on their roster a relief pitcher by the name of Greg Harris.
Harris wasn’t a bad pitcher, per se – in fact, for a couple of years, he served as their closer – but what set him apart was this little known fact: He could pitch with either hand. There were even rumors that he was working on a special glove to do just that.
Ever since then, I’d always wondered what would happen if he were to try that, and a switch hitter – say, Pete Rose, for example – were to come up to bat with the idea to switch to either side of the plate in an effort to counter the switch-pitcher.
Well, now we have our answer.
In his professional debut, Pat Venditte of the Staten Island Yankees – a natural right-hander whose father taught him to pitch with either arm – played cat-and-mouse in the ninth inning with the Brooklyn Cyclones’ Ralph Henriquez as each player tried to gain an advantage, holding up the game for seven minutes.
Check out the video:
Given that there was a runner on first, I might have wanted my pitcher to stay with the left hand, for the better pickoff attempt. That’s just me, though.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 12:13
If it happens in TCU f’ball, I like to think I’m on top of it. (Doesn’t always happen that way, but oh well. )
So it is with great joy that the Realm announces the marriage of Frog linebacker Robert Henson to Sarah Jakes – yes, the daughter of T.D. Jakes of the Potter’s House.
Best of luck to you guys, Robert & Sarah!
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 21:39
After-hours on-call tickets.
On-the-side computer work.
Not all that much sleep.
This is why you haven’t heard from me in a couple days. Groan.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 18:54
Okay, Denizens, we got your 2008 Darwin Award winner right here.
A 22-year-old woman was killed after she was hit by a car while trying to take pictures of a three-vehicle accident on LBJ Freeway early Sunday.
April Sterling of Dallas and her friend were heading west on LBJ Freeway near Plano Road when they stopped so she could take pictures of the accident that occurred about 7:45 a.m., said Dallas police Sgt. Gil Cerda.
Ms. Sterling wanted to get closer to the accident scene so she ran into the HOV lane when a vehicle traveling west struck her, throwing her into the eastbound lanes of the freeway. She was taken to Parkland Memorial Hospital where she died from her injuries.
So the little bimbo just hadda get pictures of this three-vehicle inferno, did she? Couldn’t just pass it by, couldn’t call 911 – no, she just hadda have a Kodak Moment. Typical case of Texas Rubbernecker Syndrome – and in this particular case, fatal.
If this doesn’t win the Darwin, they should quit giving it out.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 19:02
(For reasons which are mine & mine alone, I’m removing this post.
No, I haven’t been threatened, either physically (ha!) or legally. I have my reasons for taking this post down, they’re good ones – damned good ones, in fact – and I’m keeping them to myself for now.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 17:30
Hmmmmm. How about we file this under “Gee, where have I heard this before???”
Democrat Barack Obama told voters Saturday he would push an aggressive economic agenda as president: cutting taxes for the middle class, raising taxes on the wealthy, pouring money into “green energy” and requiring employers to set up retirement saving plans for their workers.
Memo to B. HUSSEIN!!! Obambi: I’m still waiting for my “middle class tax-cut” from the last Demoscum to occupy the White House, you big flop-eared, Manchurian Muslim dumbass.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 17:56
The world of politics was shocked to learn that an apparent heart attack claimed one of its most beloved reporters today. Tim Russert was 58.
Tim Russert was, in this scribe’s view, one of the less distrusted folks in the media. He was hard on our side, but he could be equally hard on the Left – and was unfailingly polite to everyone. His was the longest tenure of all moderators on NBC’s Meet The Press – and not without damned good reason.
I have to confess that I didn’t watch a whole lot of Tim – but I also have to say I never minded it when I did. I never got the sense while watching him that he was being overtly unfair or partisan when he interviewed someone. In an industry where one can generally tell someone’s leanings just from their “aura”, Russert’s fairness (despite his political leanings) was a breath of fresh air.
Tim Russert will be sorely missed – by conservatives & liberals alike. And that’s one of the greatest compliments a man in his profession could be paid.