Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 23:37
FRANKFURT, Germany – The NFL folded its development league in Europe after 16 years on Friday, calling the decision a sound business move that will allow for a stronger international focus on regular-season games outside the United States.
The announcement came less than a week after the Hamburg Sea Devils beat the Frankfurt Galaxy 37-28 in the World Bowl title game in Frankfurt before a crowd of 48,125. Five of the league’s six teams are based in Germany, with the other in Amsterdam, Netherlands.
A statement on the German-language edition of the NFL’s Web site said the NFL decided to concentrate its “strategies and resources” on regular-season games outside the United States in an effort to reach as many people as possible.
Memo to Rajah Goody-Two-Shoes:  Y’know, maybe if you had – oh, I dunno – ESTABLISHED AN AMERICAN TV MARKET FOR IT!!!!!! – it might have had at least some moderate success.
You know, like the Arena Football League has.
And yes – I know this was mostly your predecessor’s doing (damn that (@%)@@^*@!!! Tagliabue).  But it wouldn’t have hurt to have had at least one  network carrying the games, hm?  Y’know, like Fox Sports Net did a couple years ago.
Chalk another one up to NFL extreme shortsightedness…
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 18:24
Naturally, Misha’s post was picked up by the knee-jerk (emphasis on the latter) website, “Sadly, No Brains (or Balls)”, and subsequently parroted around certain points of the Nutroot-o-Sphere.  (Amazing, isn’t it, how they call us  “mind-numbed robots”, yet are wholly incapable of any original thought themselves.)
KORRIOTH:  And this suprises you…how again, m’Liege?
LSIK&T:  Yeah, yeah, I know – “Don’t expect great things from the ShortBus-o-Sphere.”
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 21:37
The business of professional wrestling lost one of its absolute best today.  Chris Benoit, along with his wife Nancy and their son Daniel, were found today at their home in Fayetteville, GA.  Chris Benoit was 40.
Cause of death is unknown at this time.
The Realm™ extends its deepest condolences.  Chris was one of this scribe’s favorite entertainers in the genre, and he will be very much missed.
UPDATE:  AP is reporting that this is being handled as a double murder/suicide.
UPDATE the 2nd:  It’s been reported now that Benoit strangled his wife Nancy last Saturday, then smothered his 7-year-old, suffering-from-Fragile-X-Syndrome son Daniel on Sunday, before hanging himself in his weight room on Monday.
I have no idea what could make Benoit snap like that, although there are reports that he & Nancy were arguing about caring for Daniel prior to the killings, and Nancy had previously filed for divorce from Chris back in 2003 before reconciling.
I do not  believe, however, that steroids were a part of this.  Although they were found in the Benoit household during the subsequent investigation, Benoit did not have a ‘roid freak’s physique, per se.  Plus, the WWE claims that he tested negative for ‘roids back in April.
Right now, all we can do is wait and watch.  This story isn’t going away that soon.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 0:05
ITEM:  All season long, the Texas
s stRangers have been insisting that there’s nothing wrong with Vicente Padilla’s arm, despite the fact that he’s 3-8 with a 6.69 ERA in 15 starts this season.
ITEM:  Padilla went on the 15-day Dl with what they’re calling “triceps inflammation behind the right elbow”.
As the credibility slide for this franchise continues…
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 17:12
One that – gasp, arrrrrrgh!!!! – didn’t  come from the SpatulaGoddess.
It’s right here.  Prepare to scrunch up your face a la  Kermit the Frog.
I just have one question:  What the Hell™ is a Belvedere?  ‘Zat any relation to the Edsel?
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 9:32
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 23:34
I don’t feel like writing tonight.
Tonight’s Grab-Bag™, therefore, is from LC Guido Cabrone:
Gee, Cap’n Jack…I knew you were swishy ‘n all, but…
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 14:10
Denizens, I don’t mind telling you that stuff like this brings tears to my eyes:
As you know, I never served in the military (they have a thing against lasagna guts and flat feet).  OneOfTheseDays™, though, I pray to God that my own son gets to greet me like that.
Lord willing, he will.
Happy Father’s Day 2007.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 11:10
ITEM:  Last week, the Dullest Moaning Snooze  called the Dallas mayor’s runoff race too close to call, giving businessman Tom Leppert a 47-45 edge over homosexual councilcritter Ed Oakley (margin of error 5.8%).
ITEM:  Last night, Leppert kicked the shit out of the heterophobe, 58%-42%.
Thus raising the question “Why do we take the media seriously when handicapping political races, anywayz?”
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 13:50
So Bob Barker retired from game show hosting after 50 years on the job (the last 35 at CBS for The Price Is Right).
I’m starting to think it wasn’t Barker’s choice.  I’m getting the definite impression that CBS forced his ass out the door.
Reason:  The doddering old bird is getting senile.
Bob Barker endorsed his friend Rosie O’Donnell as a possible successor on “The Price Is Right,” although the newly retired host isn’t sure CBS wants a woman to take over the game show.
Barker said his friendship with O’Donnell goes back several years, when she had him as a guest on her old daytime talk show.
“She told me she loved `The Price Is Right’ and wanted to host it one day,” he recalled.
One wonders what Goodson & Todman ever did to this guy to make him hate them so.  Talk about a show-killer…
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 21:11
Okay, Denizens, I guess you could consider me “back”.  Not that that means a whole lot – the honeymoon’s not until the end of July, which is when I’ll really  be out of pocket.  And I have  posted a couple of things during the last three weeks.
Anyway, with all that said, I believe I mentioned something about a “major announcement”.
So here it is.
There ain’t one.  Not yet, anyway.
See, here’s the deal:  I’d told a couple folks that I was probably going to retire as a regular, active blogger once I’d gotten married.  The same maladies that caused me to close up the BBS 10 years ago or so are now once again in place – i.e, not time to do much of anything, least of all write.
The fact that I’m on the road all day long doesn’t help things any.  Life was a lot more fun when I was sitting at a desk, waiting for the next cry for help from just down the hall.  Trouble is, it was also a lot less pay, too.    Plus, there’s the matter of trying to find a house, trying to keep this  place relatively clean, paying bills, the side business, that sort of thing.  And that I’m usually exhausted by day’s end helps things not one whit.
The plan was, therefore, to shut this place down and continue ranting, raving and pontificating (not to mention crank out those therapeutic PFWs ( ) over at the Rott.
Well, not so fast.
Fact is, I’m not ready to give up this gig yet.  Things won’t always be this hectic, and it’ll be a beast to fire up the warp engines again.  (You think it was hell on Kirk’s Enterprise???  Try a cold restart on a Worf-class bird-of-prey.  Threw us all the way back to…well, you didn’t think Merlin signed on of his own accord, did you?)
MERLIN:  And I’ll have you know I still  feel it in that knee when the weather changes!!!
LSIK&T:  Shut up or you’re feeding K’hadibak’h’s pet Ferengi tomorrow.
MERLIN (cringing):  Ew.
Anyway, y’all have to put up with me for a while longer.  So there.  Plbsthhhhhhh!!!!
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 22:39
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 17:54
(Hat tip Hot Air.)
Oh, this is good.  This is damned  good.  This is fist-pump-in-the-air, ROFLMFAOASTC good.
Have a look:
UPDATE:  Okay, looks like I’m having trouble keeping it online.  The Hot Air link should have it.
UPDATE the 2nd:  YouTube to the rescue!
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 22:45
(Crossposted at the Rott.)
Okay, so two weeks ago or so, I stepped in front of a wedding-qualified official-type person for the (mumble mumble)th time (    ), engaged in a private little ceremony, and am now planning on where to go have dinner with two of my bestest friends in the Blogosphere and some of my Beloved Bride’s Buds™.
At this point, I’m thinking On The Border™.  Festive, there’s margaritas there, relatively inexpensive, there’s margaritas there, cozy, there’s margaritas there…did I mention that there’s margaritas there?
La Reina Espatula™ is advising caution, however, as she’s not sure if her friends already have a bistro in mind.  “No worries”, I’m thinking, “I’ll just use my powers of persuasion…
(there will be a short pause here as BC finishes up with his sudden coughing fit)
…to talk ’em into OTB.  Okay?  Okay.
So our little two-vehicle convoy – myself, the SpatulaBride™ and the SpatulaGoddess™ – pull up at Ana’s former place of employment, a little school called Descubrir, I and my new wife walk inside while the SG waits in her van, so that I can announce Our Plans™ for Ana’s pals for the next four hours.
Before I can utter a word, however, they open the door to their main classroom…and both my jaw and that of the SpatulaBride™ hit the floor at warp speed.
For this is what awaited us…
(Click on the pic to take you to the rest of ’em.)
Needless to say, a bodaciously fun time was had by all (though probably the most fun was had by the Royal Heirs™, who were bouncing like Super Balls™ all over the place all night long).
And, as soon as we secure our house, we’ll have our own little homewarming shindig in the form of Texas Blogfest ’07:  Spats Can BBQ, Too!!!.
Enjoy the pics!
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 21:34
If you send a link to one of your posts to another blogger, don’t request that you be linked – that’s already implied by the email.
Oh, is that  what that was for?
Denizens, one of
the culprits the ones who need to be frog-marched those responsible for me getting into blogging in the first place celebrates his fifth blogoversary today.  Hie thee hence and give Alan K. Henderson a pat-on-the-back for all his hard work.
Yes, that’s an order.