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Here is the President’s confession:

“I’m a Christian, uh, by choice. Um, you know, my family didn’t – frankly, they weren’t, uh, folks who went to church every – every week. Um, my mother was one of the most spiritual people I knew, but she didn’t, uh, raise me in the church. Uh, so I came to, to, uh, my Christian faith later in life, uh, and it was because the, the, the, precepts of Jesus Christ spoke to me in terms of the kind of life that I would want to lead – being my brother’s and sister’s keeper, treating others as they would treat me … also understanding that Jesus Christ dying for my sins spoke to the humility we all have to have as human beings, that we’re sinful, and we’re flawed, and we make mistakes, and that we achieve salvation through the grace of God.

“But what we can do, as flawed as we are, is still see God in other people and do our best to help them find their own grace. So that’s what I strive to do, that’s what I pray to do every day. I think my public service is a part of that effort to express my Christian faith.”

Is this the confession of a man who truly understands that he was born a sinful man, and that Christ sufferd and died because he loved us, and not the other way around?

Does our President understand that our “good works” are a response to our Lord’s love, and not an attempt to garner his favor?

For that matter, do you believe that President Obama believed a word of what he said?

Slight change in plans for teh PFW&#153, Denizens.

Realm Intelligence&#153, having nearly caused me to miss Kansas-Southern PMiss a couple weeks ago and not&#160 wanting to lose their heads…convinced me I should do the PFW on Thursday.

Except no one’s playing on Thursday.&#160 (Indeed, two of my teams aren’t playing at all&#160 this week, but that’s another post.)

Therefore, the PFW will crank up on Friday.&#160 All ticket stubs will be honored for the event.&#160

This is the one week a year that I spend on the Seminary Campus trying to act like a real student! Concordia Theological Seminary is sited on about 200 acres of land in Fort Wayne Indiana. The actual campus complex takes up not more than about ten acres. This results in a very peaceful, almost cloistered environment. In other words, my week on campus is extremely peaceful, despite the rigorous classroom environment.

My class this quarter is on worship itself, and has already shaped up to be a fascinating experience.

Some completely useless trivia, there is some group out there translating the Klingon Standard version of Holy Scripture. Maybe I can talk them into a Klingon version of the Lutheran Service Book(hymnal)?

This one COULD almost fall into the black pot kettle category, but the progressives are so predictable even that category is getting redundant ad nauseum.  Plus, I’m too lazy today to go back and find out where the counter was last at.

Anyways, most of the talking heads on the boob tube today have been squawking about this incident over in Austin this morning.  Being that this happened at 0830-ish Central Time, the clearly predictable anti-Second Amendment crowd has most certainly clogged the telephone lines of every whack-job Congresscritter in DC that will listen to them with cries of “BAN GUNS”.

Yo, numbnuts….the AK-47 is already a banned weapon.  Your laws they ain’t no workee so guud when a 19 year-old skull full of mush can not only parade the piece around a university campus but then also decides to take pot shots as well.  Lucky for the locals, said skull of mush was a lousy shot.  Or then again, maybe not.  Said skull is now residing in the morgue thanks to a self-inflicted GSW. 

So help me if there are new reports that come out in the nect week or so that state the reason said skull of mush went haywire is because mommie and daddy were going to vote for the TEA party candidate OR because junior lost his minimum wage job to a person of Jewish faith I will summarily start a full-blown RCOB while foaming at the mouth like Cujo.

Heck, I have to stop here before I have to get the emergency roll of duct tape to keep my head from exploding.

Denizens, today is the one-year annivesary of donning the Last Ball & Chain&#153.

Yep, that’s right – Mrs. Venomous is not&#160 a fictional character.

It was one year ago today that I officially went off the market again.&#160 Unofficially, of course…

MRS. VENOMOUS (with a well-dented cast-iron skillet):&#160 KA-BONNNNG!!1!!!ONE!1!!11!!ELEVENTEENTY!1!

…uhhhh, ow.

MRS. VENOMOUS:&#160 Keep it up, smartass.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Yes, dear.

Anyway, I’m taking the day off.&#160 Vicar, General – you guys have the conn.

Awright, who are you guys, and what did you do with the Dallas Cowgirlz?

Arlington Heights 48, Trimble Tech 0

#4 Texas Christian 41, at SMUT 24

#8 Oklahoma 31, at Cincinnati 29

at #6 Nebraska 17, S. Dakota St 3

at Kansas 42, New Mexico State 16

at #11 Wisconsin 70, Austin Peay 3

Dallas 27, at Houston 13

One first down and 15 yards.

A typical Trimble Tech drive?

Try the whole freakin’ night.

The Yellow Jackets held Fort Worth Trimble Tech to less than 20 yards of total offense Thursday night and forced two turnovers in a 48-0 victory at Farrington Field.

And that’s not the hell of it…at least if you’re the rest of District 4A-6.

Fort Worth Arlington Heights brought seven defensive starters back off last year’s team that won the school’s first playoff game in 30 years.

That’s pretty good. But coach Ged Kates said his defense is only improving, and that might not be good news for the rest of District 6-4A.

Uh oh.&#160

—

Story of Sooner-Bearcat was which teams’ mistakes would hurt them.

OU’s didn’t.&#160 Cincy’s did.&#160 Ball game.

Landry Jones threw a pick that the Cats’ offense turned into six when D.J. Woodz caught a 36-yard TD pass from Zach Collaros.&#160 However, Woods also fumbled twice – once deep in Sooner territory, costing them points, then muffed a punt deep in their own end, setting up Landry Jones’ winning TD pass to Trey Millard.&#160 The Sooners would withstand a late Cincy charge.

Jones:&#160 36-51-370 (100 of those to Ryan Broyles on 10 catches).

—

I cannot imagine Bo Pelini is a very happy camper right now.&#160 And this would be why.

Judging by the way it struggled in a 17-3 win over South Dakota State, No. 6 Nebraska might have celebrated that win at Washington a bit too much.

Rex Burkhead and Kyler Reed scored on consecutive series in the first half, but the Cornhuskers otherwise turned in an uninspired performance Saturday night against an FCS opponent getting a rare chance to play on the big stage of Memorial Stadium.

“I thought they outplayed us, they outhit us, they flew around with more passion than we did.”

Good thing it was a Division 1-AA team.

Martinez was underwhelming, at best – he passed for 140 yards on six-of-fourteen and carried 13 times for 75 yards, but also fumbled once and threw a couple picks.&#160 Oog.&#160 (Burkhead & Helu added 125 yards on 27 carries.)&#160 The offense was also a pathetic 4-of-13 on 3rd down.

Expect Bo to not have much of a voice next week as he screams at his Huskers.

—

Fortunately, Wisconsin had no such trouble.

It got to be rather mundane.&#160 Kick off to Peay, bury them inside their 15 or so, push them back anywhere from five to ten yards on their series, receive their punt, drive down & score, rinse, lather, repeat.

How bad was it?&#160 James White, a freshman back, outgained John Clay, 11-145 to 15-118.&#160 (That Clay, Tolzien, et. al, only played the first half might have had something to do with it.)&#160 Nick Toon and Dave Gilreath were again out injured – not that it mattered.

—

Kansas got the expected squash against New Mexico State.

D.J. Beshears scored three touchdowns, including a 96-yard kickoff return, in the first half to propel Kansas to a 42-16 victory over the New Mexico State on Saturday night.

After Seth Smith’s 1-yard touchdown plunge for the Aggies (0-3) tied the score at 7-7, Beshears returned the ensuing kickoff, matching the eighth longest return ever for the Jayhawks (2-2).

Beshears, who was a defensive back last season as a freshman and began this season as a wide receiver, rushed for two touchdowns on carries of 10 and 7 yards, putting the Aggies down 21-7 at halftime.

And I think the hell of it was that State actually tied Kansas for a time.&#160 Should tell you how far Turner has to go to rebuild this program.

Jordan Webb:&#160 17-27-249 yards and a score; James Sims:&#160 115 yards & 2 scores on 16 carries.

—

Speaking of uninspired play and unhappy campers…

How does&#160 a 235-lb converted linebacker who has all the speed of my dear, sainted, dead&#160 grandmother rack up 139 yards against what was supposedly one of the nation’s best run defenses?

It reminded me of five years ago, when DeMyron Martin used the zone-read offense to beat the hell out of the TCU line and backers.

Dalton had another so-so game Friday night – 14-26-174 with one score, but two picks…one of which led almost directly to a Shitland Pony touchdown.

It was that touchdown that put SMUT up by a field goal, 14-17.&#160 Things were looking pretty bleak at that moment, and yours truly was wondering if this could have been a repeat of “attaboy/awshit”.

Enter Jeremy Kerley.

I used to think that Cory Rodgers was the best wideout in the Gary Patterson era.&#160 But Kerley’s leaving Rodgers in the dust.&#160 He took the ensuing kickoff and started weaving his way through Pony defenders and down the left sideline.&#160 83 yards later, the Frogs were in business.&#160 Three plays after that, Dalton found Bart Johnson on a slant to the post, and TCU had a lead they’d not relinquish.

SMUT followed up with a three-and-out, then TCU would take the ball and shove it down Peruna’s throat to ice the game.

—

Where’s this&#160 team been all year?

Seriously, we saw things today we hadn’t seen in a while.&#160 Roy Williams being a factor in the game.&#160 A left tackle who neutralized the opposing defensive end – and did so without&#160 committing a penalty.&#160 A running game that didn’t get abandoned halfway through the first quarter.&#160 Turnovers.&#160 A shutdown defense.

Romo was 23-30-284, with two TDs – and no&#160 picks, which was something else&#160 we hadn’t seen in a while.&#160 The aforementioned Roy Williams contributed three other catches in addition to the two he took to the house, for a total of 117 yards (he was the game’s leading receiver which – stop me if you’ve heard this before – was another&#160 thing we hadn’t seen in some time).

Thanks to Doug Free, Houston’s All-Universe defensive end was credited with three QB hits – a misleading stat, really; you lay so much as a finger on the QB after he releases the ball and it counts – and nothing else.&#160 Not a sack, not a tackle, not really even so much as a pressure (although I s’pose those “hits” might could count).

On defense, the ‘Boys held All-Galaxy wideout André Johnson to four catches for 64 yards – although part of that was due to him tweaking his ankle and missing part of the game.&#160 Ariana Foster had 106 yards on 17 carries, but that was pretty much it.

I was all prepared to invoke Executive Privilege&#153 and declare a PFW due to this score:

UCLA 34, at #6 TU T-sip Shortd….uh, Shorties 12

…but now I don’t have to.&#160 Schweet.

This week:&#160 7-0.&#160 Perfect Football Weekend achieved.&#160 (1).&#160 Overall:&#160 23-4.

The PFW will return on Thursday as we go for two in a row.

All, sorry for the absence but we here at the Southern Command are still in mourning and the base flag is at half-staff for the remainder of the month as we all but primarily the Generalette deals with the loss of her father just over a week ago.  His passing did not come as a surprise, rather it was a welcome release to a worldly disease that has no known cure…Alzheimer’s.  Actually that wasn’t the primary cause, a case of double pneumonia was.

Her father was 79 years young, yet carried the burden of Alzheimer’s for well over five years…not being able to speak for the last 18 months or so of his life.  He was a Christian, and a devout one at that.  From a Sunday School teacher to serving as a deacon until he was diagnosed with the disease.  He is survived by his wife of 54 years, their three children (which includes the Generalette) as well as five grandchildren.  God has welcomed a great man back home and now that man can celebrate along with all the other saints in Christ for the remainder of eternity.

Now, on to other Command business.

Folks, start doing your research on a bill that has been introduced to committee with the audacious name of the “Debt Free America Act”.  Also known as HR-4646, the bill on the surface will attempt to do such things as eliminate the national individual income tax, refundable and nonrefundable personal tax credits, and even the alternative minimum tax and replace it with a “transaction tax”.  The initial level is set at 1%.

But here’s where the nefarious progressive left take something that has the potential to correct things and turns it into something hideously evil.  The bill also intends to “tax” ALL financial transactions from both you and I as individuals (things like deposits and withdrawals from checking and savings accounts, ATMs, everything) as well as corporate financial transactions.  And, of course Congress can “adjust” the percentage as they see fit.

This bill has corruption written all over it.  As if that isn’t a new concept coming out of the boys inside the DC beltway.  Do your research folks, if your House rep is FOR this bill then if they are up for re-election it’s time they go find out what the job market is really like.  This is one bill this country DOESN’T need.

Item:&#160 A state marshal in Kennycut (gratuitous Family Affair reference alert!) got caught with his pants down (figuratively) the other day, having to apologize for…well…

…for paying $15 for a lap dance at a New Haven strip club when he went there to serve a city tax warrant to the owner.

The New Haven Register reports that Marshal William Nolan broke down crying and apologized while testifying Tuesday before two members of the State Marshal Commission, who will be recommending to the full board whether Nolan should be disciplined.

Commission members have found probable cause that Nolan unreasonably blurred the lines between professional and personal conduct at Stage Door Johnny’s last March.

Nolan is also accused of charging club owner Johnny Kraft 10 percent more than the $9,800 he owed the city in back taxes, which Kraft has since paid. Nolan said it was a simple mistake.

Lord Venomous’ reaction:&#160 They’re only charging $15 for lap dances in Connecticut?&#160 They’re $20 down here!&#160 I wanna move!!!

MRS. VENOMOUS (with heavy-duty cast-iron skillet):&#160 KA-BONNNNNNG!!!!1!!ONE!1!ELEVENTY!!1!!

Uh, ow.&#160

To end your week with a smile, the Department Of “Yeah, We Steal From Rathergood, Why Do You Ask?” brings forth this treasure:

So that’s&#160 what Algore used…&#160

Guys, we start this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend by sending our best wishes to Michigan State U. head football coach Mark Dantonio, whose Spartans gave him a heart attack – literally – as they beat Notre Dame last week.

Michigan State coach Mark Dantonio had a mild heart attack and was hospitalized Sunday morning, shortly after calling an audacious fake field goal to beat Notre Dame in overtime.

The 54-year-old Dantonio had surgery to put a stent in a blocked blood vessel leading to the heart. He’s expected to remain in the hospital a few more days, and offensive coordinator Don Treadwell will lead the team during Dantonio’s indefinite absence.

“This morning, in the very early hours, not long after the football game, Coach Dantonio began experiencing some symptoms,” said Dr. Chris D’Haem, who performed the relatively common procedure to restore blood flow. “Fortunately, his heart damage is very minimal. He’s going to do very well and we’re very optimistic he’ll have a full recovery.”

The Realm&#153 wishes Coach Dantonio the absolute best.&#160 We still remember TCU coach Jim Pittman, who died on the sidelines of a heart attack during a game at Baylor, so we’re still a little skittish when we hear about such things.

On the other hand, perhaps we could get this little guy to pray for Coach Dantonio:

Mheh.

On to the football.&#160 My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets take on Trimble Tech this evening around 7:30.&#160 To get a feel for how the game might go, I went to look up last year’s game – only to find out there wasn’t one last year.

Or the year before that.

Or before that.

In fact, the last game of which I have a record was all the way back in 2005 – which Heights won, 21-0.&#160 IOW, an entire class of kids went without playing the Bulldogs – none of these guys have ever seen&#160 the Green & White.

Hence, I have no idea what’s gonna happen.&#160 Now&#160 I’m worried.

Friday night, Gary Patterson’s fourth-ranked Texas Christian Horned Frogs will have what I consider to be their toughest challenge of the year – yes, tougher than BYU, more daunting than Utah, far more of a test than Smurf-Turf Eff-head State, should we get the chance to kick their asses this year.

For tomorrow night, a national cable audience will see the Tadpoles in Dallas – against SMUT.

The Shitland Ponies are getting better & better under June Jones (whom, IYAM, it can still be said is an idiot for forsaking the isles of Hawai’i for the landlocked concrete of Dallas), and this is the best chance they’ll have to steal one against the Horned Frogs – they’re under everyone’s radar, and they’re good.

Vegas has the Frogs as an 18-point favorite in the battle for the Iron Skillet&#153 – three touchdowns minus the three-point Mustang home-field advantage – so look for it to be inside 10.

Saturday finds Bob Stoops & the eighth-ranked Oklahoma Sooners in Ohio to take on the Cincinnati Bearcats in a Big XII-Big East matchup.&#160 Cincy is down this year – how else do you explain them getting shellacked by Fresno State – and so Vegas has OU as a 14-point favorite.&#160 I don’t think it’ll be that close.

I was going to institute the SpatulaLine&#153 on Turner Gill & Rock Chalk Jayhawk this week – then I find out they’re favored by 23 this week as they host New Mexico State.

Turner, ol’ buddy – you need to serve up squash casserole this week.&#160 “Get it done”, as Eddie Jellico will say about 500 years from now.

Speaking of Vegas, there are a couple of PFW games this week they’re not gonna touch with a ten-foot pole.&#160 Eleventh-ranked Bucky finishes up its non-conference feasting this weekend with a creampuff in Austin Peay College.&#160 I’m not sure, but I don’t even think these guys are Division 1-AA – more like Division II or III.&#160 We might even see Zac Lee Nate Tice or Curt Phillips in this one.&#160 Hell, if HDD is close enough Saturday, Bret Bielema may even wanna stick him in there at QB.&#160 Or maybe at linebacker – we found out this week that sophomore Chris Borland is gone for the year after getting injured in the Arizona State game.

And in Lincoln, South Dakota State will play the sacrificial lamb against sixth-ranked Nebraska.&#160 The question here is whether the Blackshirts will even let SDS score.

And speaking of “can they even score”…the Dallas Cowgirlz travel back to the Southern Command Sunday to get their asses handed to them again by Pew-stun.&#160 The season, for all intents & purposes (read:&#160 having the ‘Girlz play the Super Bowl at home), ends here.&#160 After which, we may have a Major Announcement&#153 concerning Dallas’ place in the PFW.

That’ll come sometime Monday after the recap.&#160 Stay tuned for that, and we’ll see you then.

Denizens, we have the Great State Fair Of Texas&#153 coming up – which, if you’ve ever been to one of these shindigs, means lots of rides, lots of “pin-the-tail-on-the-Demoscum” -donkey” type games, ferris wheels, whirly-gigs, turkey legs, sausage-on-a-stick, corn dogs…and everyone’s favorite:&#160 Fried you-name-it-we’ve-got-it.

No.&#160 I’m not kidding.

We’re talking fried Twinkies&#169 (I blogged on that once, just can’t find it now), fried chili, fried Popsicles&#169, fried Oreos&#169…you get the idea.

This year’s GSFoT&#153 features, among other things, Texas Fried Frito Pie, fried lemonade and fried chocolate.

But you knew it was coming, didn’t you?&#160 How did the saying go? “For every moment of pleasure, there must be an equal moment of pain”?&#160 Well – here comes your pain:&#160 A fucking busybody that just has&#160 to spoil your fun by wringing his hands in angst and wondering if all these deep-fried fat grams, sugar grams and calories is (gasp, argh!) Gooooood Forrrrrrr Usssssss??!!?!!!!ONE?!

The top eight new State Fair foods — including Texas Fried Frito Pie, Fried Lemonade, Fried Chocolate, oh my — sure sound good.

But are they good for you?

I think you know the answer.

We conducted a nutritional analysis of the top new foods that debut later this week when the State Fair opens Friday. Here’s a look at our findings — this story ran on the front page of today’s Dallas Morning News.

And here’s a nifty chart highlighting the eight foods, with more nutrition details.

Y’know, I don’t s’pose it’s ever occured&#160 to this dumb little turd of a tool that maybe – JUST EFFIN’ MAYBE – the people of the great state of Texas…oh, I dunno…DON’T GIVE A ROYAL FUCKING SHIT ABOUT WHETHER FAIR FOOD IS GOOD FOR US OR NOT?!?!?!?!?!?!

Seriously.&#160 You’re at the freakin’ State Fair.&#160 All a State Fair is&#160 is rides, attractions and food.&#160 And most of the food is deep-fried.

And we’re supposed to rend our clothing and wear sackcloth & ashes because we ATE TOO MANY SUGAR AND FAT GRAMS AT A PLACE WHERE THAT’S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS?!

Great Honkin’ Cthulu&#153, what a maroon.&#160

Oh, hey, Denizens – did you know the recession was over?

No?

Neither did I.

But, apparently, these morons think so:

The panel that determines the timing of recessions concluded Monday that this one ended – technically, anyway – in June 2009, and lasted 18 months. The duration makes it the longest since World War II.

They just happen&#160 to be the same fuckheads who arbitrarily declared the recession to have begun in 2007.&#160 Just in time so that the Demoscum could blame it on Boooooooosh!!!!! and the Republicans.

Fortunately, there seem to be a lot of Americans who agree with me about it not having ended:

It may be over, but you won’t be hearing any cheers from the millions of Americans who are struggling to find a job. Or are worried about the ones they have. Or have lost their homes. Or are behind on the mortgage.

“Every single one of the individuals who wrote the report needs a serious reality check,” said Bob Johnson of the Queens borough of New York, who is 46, had worked in communications and has been looking for a job for more than three years.

Yeah, you assclowns – good luck getting some of us to believe your puerile twaddle.

Dumbasses.

When you can make Jay Fuckin’ Cutler&#160 look like an All-Pro, there can not be the slightest fucking doubt about things – you don’t have a good team.

Arlington Heights 49, O.D.Wyatt 0

at #4 Texas Christian 45, Baylor 10

at #7 Oklahoma 27, Air Force 24

#8 Nebraska 56, at Washington 21

Kansas 16, at Southern Piss Miss 31

at #11 Wisconsin 20, Arizona St. 19

at Dallas 20, Shit-cago 27

Heights is officially back.

Fort Worth Arlington Heights brought its big expectations to Farrington Field on Friday and complemented them with big play after big play after big play after big play.

The Yellow Jackets employed its explosive array of skill-position athletes on offense and a misery defense to erase any doubt — if there was any — that they’re the District 6-4A front-runner.

Heights scored three touchdowns on pass plays of more than 70 yards and another of 40 to overrun Fort Worth Wyatt 39-0.

Part of the summary read as follows:

Brad Bloxom 40-yard pass from Omar Valadez (Omar Valadez run)
AH — Dennis Brooks 83-yard pass from Omar Valadez (William Anderson from Diego Valadez)
AH — Marquis Jackson 72-yard pass from Omar Valadez (Alex Faoro kick)
AH — Marquis Jackson 90-yard pass from Omar Valadez (Alex Faoro kick)

When your low&#160 scoring play is 40 yards, you’re either that good or your opposition is that bad.&#160 (And it could be a bit of both, who knows?&#160 Wyatt didn’t score on Heights last&#160 year, either.)

Valadez was 11-17-362 and 4 scores, although the Chaps did&#160 manage to pick him off once.&#160 Marquis Jackson & Dennis Brooks combined for eight catches and 321 yards of Valadez’ total.

—

After three quarters, you figured OU was on its way.&#160 Even after the Falcons had tied things up at 10, the Sooners responded by ripping Air Force for 17 points, and could probably have gotten more.

Air Force, though, had other ideas.&#160 They held the Crimson & Cream&#153 scoreless while grabbing a couple of touchdowns themselves (Jared Tew on a five-yard scamper and Kyle Halderman from 15 yards out); OU had to get a first down late to hold them off.

Jones was 26-42-254 and one score; Demarco Murray got 110 yards and two touchdowns on 26 carries, and added a 17-yard catch for a score.&#160 Ryan Broyles caught 10 balls for 116 yards.

—

There will likely be some growing pains in the first year or two of Taylor Martinez era at Nebraska.&#160 But there can be no doubt that that era has officially begun.

Seven of eleven for 150 yards and a score.&#160 Nineteen carries for 137 yards and three more scores.

Shades of Eric Crouch.

In fact, shades of the old Husker teams of the Osborne era.&#160 Running over, around and through the Huskies (383 yards, with Helu & Burkhead adding 214 and three touchdowns to Martinez’ total); the Blackshirt defense hassling Jake Locker into two interceptions (one a pick-six) – the effort was reminiscent of the old Big Eight days, and just as welcome.

—

By contrast, Bucky’s day against the Sun Devils nearly turned disasterous.

With four minutes to go, State’s Cam Marshall scored on a two yard run, sending Tom Weber out to tie the game with the PAT.

Enter senior Jay Valai.&#160 The safety broke through the line and blocked the attempt, preserving the victory for the Badgers.

“I jumped over somebody’s leg, or maybe I crawled under because I’m a little short,” Valai said. “But I made the play and blocked it.”

John Clay rushed for 123 yards and a score on 22 carries, and Scott Tolzien was a very managerial 19-25-246 and a score.

—

Welcome to the Rock Chalk Rollercoaster.&#160 Step right up and strap yourselves in for the ride of your life.

Just when you think Kansas can get things rolling, Turner Gill’s bunch coughs up another hairball featherball, getting embarrassed by a Conference USA “powerhouse” (cough) that – I’m sorry – really isn’t that good.

KORRIOTH:&#160 They beat TCU there a few years ago in-conference.

Yeah, and then came down here the next year and got their asses handed to them.

But what really chaps my ass is how ESPN dons the kneepads for these clowns.

Southern Miss (2-1) has won 10 straight home games dating to 2008. The Golden Eagles have been hard on BCS teams who have ventured to Hattiesburg in recent years, also beating Virginia 37-34 last season and North Carolina State 37-17 in 2006.

Oh.&#160 Yeah.&#160 Right.&#160 Those noted powerhouses, Virginia and NC State.&#160

There’s no game story, really.&#160 Turner’s group just isn’t ready for prime-time.&#160 And because of this, it’s the SpatulaLine&#153 for them the rest of this season.&#160 It’s either that or yank ’em from the PFW altogether.

—

And to think – I was actually worried about this game.&#160 Shows you what I get for listening to the Lame Stream Media&#153.&#160 They were touting the fact that Baylor was 2-0 for the first time in years and&#160 hadn’t even so much as allowed a touchdown.

What the media hadn’t&#160 been saying was who the Cubbies had played:&#160 Sam Houston State (Div. 1-AA) and UBeefalo (minus Turner Gill – bet he wishes he were back there now, huh?)

This one was over early.&#160 Dalton found Jermey Kerley for 30 yards down the middle, untouched, for six.&#160 Then after a Bear three-and-out, Ed Wesley took one off left guard and raced 49 yards to paydirt, and the TCU defense made it stand up.&#160 Robert Griffin III did&#160 collect a 60-yard bomb for a score in the third, but by then the outcome had long since been decided, as TCU had taken a 35-3 lead into the half.

Dalton set a school record for passing efficiency (21-23-267/2 TDs (91%)), and Ed Wesley continued his ground assault with 165 yards on 19 carries, effectively securing his position as this year’s #1 Frog back.

—

This excuse-for-a-team is done.&#160 Mark the date & time – you read it here first.

The C’girl offense was gashing the Bears early, and the lineback tandem of Ware & Spencer was giving Jay “Pick” Cutler fits.

Then Shitcago burned the C’girl blitz a couple times (the last one for a score) and Jason “Genius” Garrett started having Romo sling the ball all over the place.

The ‘Girl offensive O-line stopped blocking and Romo had to start running for his life, and the Swiss-cheese C’girl secondary started letting Cutler play pitch-and-catch with his receivers.&#160 It was no contest.&#160 Buehler missed another&#160 chip-shot (for him) FG attempt, Shitcago scored four plays later, and it was over.

The C’girls are 0-2 now; they’re going to be 0-3 after next week, and you can kiss the playoffs goodbye.

Consider.&#160 After the bye week, they will have Tennessee here, at Minne-ha-ha, the NY Football Douchebags here, Jacksonville here, at Green Bay and at the Douchebags, before catching a break and getting Detroit here, but then Super Bowl champion New Orleans comes here for the Thanksgiving game.

The way they’re playing right now, they might&#160 win the Jacksonville game (not a gimme) and they probably (hopefully?) beat Detroit.&#160 At that point, they’re 2-8 – 1-9 if Jacksonville comes in and kicks their asses, which I’ll likely expect by then.

Don’t tell this to Owner Jethro, though.&#160 He thinks being patient – i.e, adopting the ostrich approach and sticking his ass head in the sand – is going to make this all better.

Really, Jethro?

Enjoy your 100,000 seat mausoleum, assclown.&#160 You will have deserved it.

This week:&#160 5-2.&#160 Overall:&#160 16-4.

The PFW will return Thursday, at which time we’ll contemplate whether or not Rock Chalk & the Cowgirlz get to stick around.

Denizens, trust me, I wish I could find this ad on YouTube.&#160 (Trust me – I did&#160 try.)

SCRIPT: Democratic gubernatorial candidate Bill White: “We believe that federal immigration laws should be enforced. We believe Texans believe that we need federal help in securing that border.

“Rick Perry has been governor for nine-and-a-half years. You would think that he would have been able to get some of the federal resources that he now claims that we needed all these years.

“As governor, I’ll put 1,000 more police officers and deputy sheriffs all along our border, arresting the gang members, the drug dealers and let them know things aren’t safe for them in Texas.

“I’m Bill White. I’m in it for Texas.”

Oh.&#160 My.&#160 Freakin’.&#160 GAWD!!!!ONE!1!!11!

He didn’t just say that.&#160 Tell&#160 me he didn’t just say that.

This is the same Widdle Willie White that ran a “wink wink nudge nudge” sanctuary city in Houston during his time as mayor.

Houston residents asked a divided City Council Tuesday to end an official city policy that forbids local police from rounding up undocumented immigrants for being in the country illegally.

Slightly more than a dozen people appeared before the council in support of Councilman Mark Ellis’ proposal to overturn the policy, which prevents officers from asking about someone’s citizenship status or detaining someone for being in the country illegally.

Houston is not officially a so-called “sanctuary city,” since the policy is not codified in a city ordinance. Ellis’ proposal would rescind the general order that governs the policy and replace it with a city ordinance that would require officers to enforce federal immigration laws.

Hence the “wink wink, nudge nudge”.

Bill White, you dumb son-of-a-bitch.

Don’t give me, or the rest&#160 of the right-thinking intelligents of the great state of Texas any&#160 of this bullshit about wanting to do something about “border security” WHEN IT’S YOU YOUR OWN FUCKING SELF&#160 who did everything you could to undermine it as Houston’s half-assed excuse-for-a-mayor!

Take the fucking mote out of your own&#160 eye before you try taking a peek into Rick Perry’s peeper, eh, you shit-for-brains “Sanctuary City&#153” crapweasel?

Fucking asswipe.

So Christine O’Donnell, prior to finding Christ, “dabbled in witchcraft” (her words) and hung around people who practiced it”?&#160 All this according to libtard doucherifle pussy Widdle Willie Maher (go get your own link; I’m not going to give that little faggot the honor).

Seriously.&#160 Am I supposed to care?

Memo to John Hindenraker and Patterico:&#160 Assclowns, if you’re going to attempt to bury Christine O’Donnell even before the general campaign starts, go join up with the Demoscum.&#160 We conservatives sure as Hell&#153 don’t want or need you&#160 limp-wristed fairies around.

ThatIsAll&#153.