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Here is the President’s confession:

“I’m a Christian, uh, by choice. Um, you know, my family didn’t – frankly, they weren’t, uh, folks who went to church every – every week. Um, my mother was one of the most spiritual people I knew, but she didn’t, uh, raise me in the church. Uh, so I came to, to, uh, my Christian faith later in life, uh, and it was because the, the, the, precepts of Jesus Christ spoke to me in terms of the kind of life that I would want to lead – being my brother’s and sister’s keeper, treating others as they would treat me … also understanding that Jesus Christ dying for my sins spoke to the humility we all have to have as human beings, that we’re sinful, and we’re flawed, and we make mistakes, and that we achieve salvation through the grace of God.

“But what we can do, as flawed as we are, is still see God in other people and do our best to help them find their own grace. So that’s what I strive to do, that’s what I pray to do every day. I think my public service is a part of that effort to express my Christian faith.”

Is this the confession of a man who truly understands that he was born a sinful man, and that Christ sufferd and died because he loved us, and not the other way around?

Does our President understand that our “good works” are a response to our Lord’s love, and not an attempt to garner his favor?

For that matter, do you believe that President Obama believed a word of what he said?

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Slight change in plans for teh PFW™, Denizens.

Realm Intelligence™, having nearly caused me to miss Kansas-Southern PMiss a couple weeks ago and not  wanting to lose their heads…convinced me I should do the PFW on Thursday.

Except no one’s playing on Thursday.  (Indeed, two of my teams aren’t playing at all  this week, but that’s another post.)

Therefore, the PFW will crank up on Friday.  All ticket stubs will be honored for the event. 

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This is the one week a year that I spend on the Seminary Campus trying to act like a real student! Concordia Theological Seminary is sited on about 200 acres of land in Fort Wayne Indiana. The actual campus complex takes up not more than about ten acres. This results in a very peaceful, almost cloistered environment. In other words, my week on campus is extremely peaceful, despite the rigorous classroom environment.

My class this quarter is on worship itself, and has already shaped up to be a fascinating experience.

Some completely useless trivia, there is some group out there translating the Klingon Standard version of Holy Scripture. Maybe I can talk them into a Klingon version of the Lutheran Service Book(hymnal)?

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This one COULD almost fall into the black pot kettle category, but the progressives are so predictable even that category is getting redundant ad nauseum.  Plus, I’m too lazy today to go back and find out where the counter was last at.

Anyways, most of the talking heads on the boob tube today have been squawking about this incident over in Austin this morning.  Being that this happened at 0830-ish Central Time, the clearly predictable anti-Second Amendment crowd has most certainly clogged the telephone lines of every whack-job Congresscritter in DC that will listen to them with cries of “BAN GUNS”.

Yo, numbnuts….the AK-47 is already a banned weapon.  Your laws they ain’t no workee so guud when a 19 year-old skull full of mush can not only parade the piece around a university campus but then also decides to take pot shots as well.  Lucky for the locals, said skull of mush was a lousy shot.  Or then again, maybe not.  Said skull is now residing in the morgue thanks to a self-inflicted GSW. 

So help me if there are new reports that come out in the nect week or so that state the reason said skull of mush went haywire is because mommie and daddy were going to vote for the TEA party candidate OR because junior lost his minimum wage job to a person of Jewish faith I will summarily start a full-blown RCOB while foaming at the mouth like Cujo.

Heck, I have to stop here before I have to get the emergency roll of duct tape to keep my head from exploding.

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Denizens, today is the one-year annivesary of donning the Last Ball & Chain™.

Yep, that’s right – Mrs. Venomous is not  a fictional character.

It was one year ago today that I officially went off the market again.  Unofficially, of course…

MRS. VENOMOUS (with a well-dented cast-iron skillet):  KA-BONNNNG!!1!!!ONE!1!!11!!ELEVENTEENTY!1!

…uhhhh, ow.

MRS. VENOMOUS:  Keep it up, smartass.

VENOMOUS:  Yes, dear.

Anyway, I’m taking the day off.  Vicar, General – you guys have the conn.

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Awright, who are you guys, and what did you do with the Dallas Cowgirlz?

Arlington Heights 48, Trimble Tech 0

#4 Texas Christian 41, at SMUT 24

#8 Oklahoma 31, at Cincinnati 29

at #6 Nebraska 17, S. Dakota St 3

at Kansas 42, New Mexico State 16

at #11 Wisconsin 70, Austin Peay 3

Dallas 27, at Houston 13

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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All, sorry for the absence but we here at the Southern Command are still in mourning and the base flag is at half-staff for the remainder of the month as we all but primarily the Generalette deals with the loss of her father just over a week ago.  His passing did not come as a surprise, rather it was a welcome release to a worldly disease that has no known cure…Alzheimer’s.  Actually that wasn’t the primary cause, a case of double pneumonia was.

Her father was 79 years young, yet carried the burden of Alzheimer’s for well over five years…not being able to speak for the last 18 months or so of his life.  He was a Christian, and a devout one at that.  From a Sunday School teacher to serving as a deacon until he was diagnosed with the disease.  He is survived by his wife of 54 years, their three children (which includes the Generalette) as well as five grandchildren.  God has welcomed a great man back home and now that man can celebrate along with all the other saints in Christ for the remainder of eternity.

Now, on to other Command business.

Folks, start doing your research on a bill that has been introduced to committee with the audacious name of the “Debt Free America Act”.  Also known as HR-4646, the bill on the surface will attempt to do such things as eliminate the national individual income tax, refundable and nonrefundable personal tax credits, and even the alternative minimum tax and replace it with a “transaction tax”.  The initial level is set at 1%.

But here’s where the nefarious progressive left take something that has the potential to correct things and turns it into something hideously evil.  The bill also intends to “tax” ALL financial transactions from both you and I as individuals (things like deposits and withdrawals from checking and savings accounts, ATMs, everything) as well as corporate financial transactions.  And, of course Congress can “adjust” the percentage as they see fit.

This bill has corruption written all over it.  As if that isn’t a new concept coming out of the boys inside the DC beltway.  Do your research folks, if your House rep is FOR this bill then if they are up for re-election it’s time they go find out what the job market is really like.  This is one bill this country DOESN’T need.

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Item:  A state marshal in Kennycut (gratuitous Family Affair reference alert!) got caught with his pants down (figuratively) the other day, having to apologize for…well…

…for paying $15 for a lap dance at a New Haven strip club when he went there to serve a city tax warrant to the owner.

The New Haven Register reports that Marshal William Nolan broke down crying and apologized while testifying Tuesday before two members of the State Marshal Commission, who will be recommending to the full board whether Nolan should be disciplined.

Commission members have found probable cause that Nolan unreasonably blurred the lines between professional and personal conduct at Stage Door Johnny’s last March.

Nolan is also accused of charging club owner Johnny Kraft 10 percent more than the $9,800 he owed the city in back taxes, which Kraft has since paid. Nolan said it was a simple mistake.

Lord Venomous’ reaction:  They’re only charging $15 for lap dances in Connecticut?  They’re $20 down here!  I wanna move!!!

MRS. VENOMOUS (with heavy-duty cast-iron skillet):  KA-BONNNNNNG!!!!1!!ONE!1!ELEVENTY!!1!!

Uh, ow. 

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To end your week with a smile, the Department Of “Yeah, We Steal From Rathergood, Why Do You Ask?” brings forth this treasure:

So that’s  what Algore used… 

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Guys, we start this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend by sending our best wishes to Michigan State U. head football coach Mark Dantonio, whose Spartans gave him a heart attack – literally – as they beat Notre Dame last week.

Michigan State coach Mark Dantonio had a mild heart attack and was hospitalized Sunday morning, shortly after calling an audacious fake field goal to beat Notre Dame in overtime.

The 54-year-old Dantonio had surgery to put a stent in a blocked blood vessel leading to the heart. He’s expected to remain in the hospital a few more days, and offensive coordinator Don Treadwell will lead the team during Dantonio’s indefinite absence.

“This morning, in the very early hours, not long after the football game, Coach Dantonio began experiencing some symptoms,” said Dr. Chris D’Haem, who performed the relatively common procedure to restore blood flow. “Fortunately, his heart damage is very minimal. He’s going to do very well and we’re very optimistic he’ll have a full recovery.”

The Realm™ wishes Coach Dantonio the absolute best.  We still remember TCU coach Jim Pittman, who died on the sidelines of a heart attack during a game at Baylor, so we’re still a little skittish when we hear about such things.

On the other hand, perhaps we could get this little guy to pray for Coach Dantonio:

Mheh.

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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Denizens, we have the Great State Fair Of Texas™ coming up – which, if you’ve ever been to one of these shindigs, means lots of rides, lots of “pin-the-tail-on-the-Demoscum” -donkey” type games, ferris wheels, whirly-gigs, turkey legs, sausage-on-a-stick, corn dogs…and everyone’s favorite:  Fried you-name-it-we’ve-got-it.

No.  I’m not kidding.

We’re talking fried Twinkies© (I blogged on that once, just can’t find it now), fried chili, fried Popsicles©, fried Oreos©…you get the idea.

This year’s GSFoT™ features, among other things, Texas Fried Frito Pie, fried lemonade and fried chocolate.

But you knew it was coming, didn’t you?  How did the saying go? “For every moment of pleasure, there must be an equal moment of pain”?  Well – here comes your pain:  A fucking busybody that just has  to spoil your fun by wringing his hands in angst and wondering if all these deep-fried fat grams, sugar grams and calories is (gasp, argh!) Gooooood Forrrrrrr Usssssss??!!?!!!!ONE?!

The top eight new State Fair foods — including Texas Fried Frito Pie, Fried Lemonade, Fried Chocolate, oh my — sure sound good.

But are they good for you?

I think you know the answer.

We conducted a nutritional analysis of the top new foods that debut later this week when the State Fair opens Friday. Here’s a look at our findings — this story ran on the front page of today’s Dallas Morning News.

And here’s a nifty chart highlighting the eight foods, with more nutrition details.

Y’know, I don’t s’pose it’s ever occured  to this dumb little turd of a tool that maybe – JUST EFFIN’ MAYBE – the people of the great state of Texas…oh, I dunno…DON’T GIVE A ROYAL FUCKING SHIT ABOUT WHETHER FAIR FOOD IS GOOD FOR US OR NOT?!?!?!?!?!?!

Seriously.  You’re at the freakin’ State Fair.  All a State Fair is  is rides, attractions and food.  And most of the food is deep-fried.

And we’re supposed to rend our clothing and wear sackcloth & ashes because we ATE TOO MANY SUGAR AND FAT GRAMS AT A PLACE WHERE THAT’S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS?!

Great Honkin’ Cthulu™, what a maroon. 

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Oh, hey, Denizens – did you know the recession was over?

No?

Neither did I.

But, apparently, these morons think so:

The panel that determines the timing of recessions concluded Monday that this one ended – technically, anyway – in June 2009, and lasted 18 months. The duration makes it the longest since World War II.

They just happen  to be the same fuckheads who arbitrarily declared the recession to have begun in 2007.  Just in time so that the Demoscum could blame it on Boooooooosh!!!!! and the Republicans.

Fortunately, there seem to be a lot of Americans who agree with me about it not having ended:

It may be over, but you won’t be hearing any cheers from the millions of Americans who are struggling to find a job. Or are worried about the ones they have. Or have lost their homes. Or are behind on the mortgage.

“Every single one of the individuals who wrote the report needs a serious reality check,” said Bob Johnson of the Queens borough of New York, who is 46, had worked in communications and has been looking for a job for more than three years.

Yeah, you assclowns – good luck getting some of us to believe your puerile twaddle.

Dumbasses.

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When you can make Jay Fuckin’ Cutler  look like an All-Pro, there can not be the slightest fucking doubt about things – you don’t have a good team.

Arlington Heights 49, O.D.Wyatt 0

at #4 Texas Christian 45, Baylor 10

at #7 Oklahoma 27, Air Force 24

#8 Nebraska 56, at Washington 21

Kansas 16, at Southern Piss Miss 31

at #11 Wisconsin 20, Arizona St. 19

at Dallas 20, Shit-cago 27

Aw, come on! Is that all you got?! >

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Denizens, trust me, I wish I could find this ad on YouTube.  (Trust me – I did  try.)

SCRIPT: Democratic gubernatorial candidate Bill White: “We believe that federal immigration laws should be enforced. We believe Texans believe that we need federal help in securing that border.

“Rick Perry has been governor for nine-and-a-half years. You would think that he would have been able to get some of the federal resources that he now claims that we needed all these years.

“As governor, I’ll put 1,000 more police officers and deputy sheriffs all along our border, arresting the gang members, the drug dealers and let them know things aren’t safe for them in Texas.

“I’m Bill White. I’m in it for Texas.”

Oh.  My.  Freakin’.  GAWD!!!!ONE!1!!11!

He didn’t just say that.  Tell  me he didn’t just say that.

This is the same Widdle Willie White that ran a “wink wink nudge nudge” sanctuary city in Houston during his time as mayor.

Houston residents asked a divided City Council Tuesday to end an official city policy that forbids local police from rounding up undocumented immigrants for being in the country illegally.

Slightly more than a dozen people appeared before the council in support of Councilman Mark Ellis’ proposal to overturn the policy, which prevents officers from asking about someone’s citizenship status or detaining someone for being in the country illegally.

Houston is not officially a so-called “sanctuary city,” since the policy is not codified in a city ordinance. Ellis’ proposal would rescind the general order that governs the policy and replace it with a city ordinance that would require officers to enforce federal immigration laws.

Hence the “wink wink, nudge nudge”.

Bill White, you dumb son-of-a-bitch.

Don’t give me, or the rest  of the right-thinking intelligents of the great state of Texas any  of this bullshit about wanting to do something about “border security” WHEN IT’S YOU YOUR OWN FUCKING SELF  who did everything you could to undermine it as Houston’s half-assed excuse-for-a-mayor!

Take the fucking mote out of your own  eye before you try taking a peek into Rick Perry’s peeper, eh, you shit-for-brains “Sanctuary City™″ crapweasel?

Fucking asswipe.

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So Christine O’Donnell, prior to finding Christ, “dabbled in witchcraft” (her words) and hung around people who practiced it”?  All this according to libtard doucherifle pussy Widdle Willie Maher (go get your own link; I’m not going to give that little faggot the honor).

Seriously.  Am I supposed to care?

Memo to John Hindenraker and Patterico:  Assclowns, if you’re going to attempt to bury Christine O’Donnell even before the general campaign starts, go join up with the Demoscum.  We conservatives sure as Hell™ don’t want or need you  limp-wristed fairies around.

ThatIsAll™.

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